by Sophie Davis
“Are you cabinmateless?”
“Sure am.”
“Be there in ten.”
I smiled to myself, and counted to ten in my head. When I reached ten, I mentally pushed the door open, and right on cue, Donavon hurried through. He wore blue and white plaid pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt stretched tight over his broad chest and biceps. His blonde hair was slightly mussed. He must have been in the middle of changing when I called to him. I held the covers up invitingly, and Donavon kicked his shoes off before climbing in. He smelled like soap and the spearmint mouthwash that Gretchen buys. I snuggled close to him, embracing the familiar, comfortable contours of his stretched out body, and closed my eyes.
“’Night, Donavon.”
“’Night, love.”
Chapter Fourteen
The first time I woke up the next morning Donavon’s arms were still tight around my waist, his warm, even breathing tickling the back of my neck. It was relaxing to finally be at peace with Donavon again. The second time I woke up was a different story.
“Get out,” Erik growled, his turquoise eyes blazing with anger, his hands balled into fists by his sides. Stale alcohol seeped out of his pores as sweat dotted his forehead.
Donavon jumped out of bed, but stood his ground.
“I said, get out,” Erik repeated, his voice low and threatening.
“What’re you so upset about?” Donavon demanded, trying to keep his voice even. “You weren’t here, and she was lonely.”
“She is a Pledge. She isn’t allowed to have visitors after curfew, you know that,” Erik shot back through gritted teeth, never taking his eyes off of Donavon. I wished that, they would stop talking about me like I wasn’t there.
“Oh, come off it, Erik. You had girls back in your cabin all the time when you were still a Pledge. The stories are legendary.” Donavon rolled his eyes and relaxed his stance.
“Just get out,” Erik shouted, losing whatever control he’d been hanging on too.
“Fine. Whatever.” Donavon tried to sound flippant, but I could tell he was unnerved by Erik’s intensity. He turned and kissed me on the top of my head, picked up his shoes not bothering to put them on, and sauntered out of the cabin.
I waited until I heard the soft click of the door closing into place before I rounded on Erik.
“How dare you!?” I screamed, not bothering to pretend that I was in control of my emotions.
“Tal, calm down,” he no longer sounded angry, just tired. I clamored to stand up on my bed, nearly tripping over the tangled blankets. Even standing on top, I was barely eye-to-eye with Erik.
“No, I will most certainly not calm down. You had no right to barge in here and demand that he leave. This is my room too. And don’t call me ‘Tal’ like you are my friend,” the anger and embarrassment were warring inside of me, both just waiting to get out. The anger over Erik acting like had a right to throw Donavon out of my room; the embarrassment was over being caught in bed with Donavon, and by Erik of all people. It wasn’t like we were doing anything; we were fully clothed, after all. But still, something about Erik being the one to find me and Donavon in bed together was humiliating.
“Tal, calm down,” Erik urged, his voice low and pleading.
“I am calm,” I spat, even though I clearly wasn’t. I clenched my jaw so tightly that it hurt. My face was only inches from Erik, and I was seized by an impulse to shove him back, away from me, as his closeness was suffocating. I raised my hands to do just that, but Erik’s lightning-fast reflexes had his fingers encircling my wrists before I made contact.
“I’m sorry. I overreacted,” he whispered, his face, still too close to mine. I began to relax slightly, the anger ebbing away.
“What’s wrong?” Henri asked, walking in the room and taking in the sight of me and Erik locked in the odd embrace. I tore my eyes away from Erik’s to look at Henri, and my anger returned full force.
“Erik thinks what goes on in my room is his business,” I fumed, yanking my wrists free of his grasp.
“It is my business, when it takes place in my room,” he answered, refusing to take his eyes off me.
“Well, it is kind of our business, Talia,” Henri said evenly.
“No, it’s not!” I shrieked, rounding on him now.
“Natalia you need to calm down,” Erik insisted, reaching for my wrists again. I crossed both arms protectively over my chest, effectively thwarting his effort. I felt his nervous energy as his fingers brushed my forearm.
“It is. It may not seem fair to you, and maybe it’s not, but what happens in your private life could affect, us so that makes it our business,” Henri kept his voice calm, taking his visual cues from Erik. I guess he reasoned that Erik was the resident-expert in irrational females.
“I don’t ask about your personal life,” I spat.
“It’s not the same. I know it’s a double-standard, but our private lives don’t effect you the same way yours affects us.”
“That makes no sense,” I argued.
“Do you understand how much time goes into training a new Hunter?” Henri asked, seemingly switching topics.
“A lot,” I conceded. Henri’s distraction gave Erik the opening that he needed, and he gently laid a hand on my arm, drawing my attention back towards him. I flinched initially, but calmed a little when I looked in to his eyes, and I let him keep his hand there.
“Exactly. And if something were to happen that made that training go to waste, it would be pretty crappy, right?” I didn’t understand where he was going with this.
“Right,” I answered slowly.
“Well, if you got pregnant, that would kinda make all this time and training useless,” Erik said, quietly.
“What? But we weren’t doing anything!” I wailed, but all the fight had gone out of me.
“Yeah. So, that makes it kind of our business what goes on in your private life,” Henri said.
“So, I can’t have a boyfriend?” I whispered.
“No, you can,” Henri answered quickly. “We just want you to understand the consequences. Granted, Erik might’ve overreacted a little,” he added, giving him a hard look.
I looked back at Erik, his hand still resting on my forearm. A wave of emotions hit me, and I knew that his reaction had nothing to do with any possible “consequences.” I opened my mouth, and started to say something to that effect but quickly snapped it shut.
“Right. I understand,” I muttered instead, turning towards the bathroom.
The whole scene was mortifying. Talking about this with the two of them was too embarrassing, particularly since I hadn’t actually done anything that could lead to me getting pregnant. Ever. I walked into the bathroom, shutting the door noisily behind me. I collapsed on the floor. I could still hear them talking in the other room. I turned on the water and climbed into the hot spray.
The humiliation over what had just transpired wasn’t the only reason I needed to collect my thoughts. The intensity of Erik’s emotions was also wreaking havoc with my mind. I’d, of course, been attracted to Erik since we’d first met, he is hot. I can’t imagine a girl who wasn’t attracted to him. Regardless, Donavon was my boyfriend and that was that. Being attracted to somebody was a lot different than having real feelings for them . . . right? I mean I didn’t, couldn’t, have feelings for Erik. Besides, Erik might like me now, but he had a short attention-span and I would be surprised if it lasted. I spent my whole shower trying to compose myself.
When I finally opened the bathroom door, they were both sitting at the table, eating. I took a deep breath, and launched into my carefully prepared speech.
“I promise you won’t find Donavon in our cabin during non-visiting hours, if you, in turn, promise to never speak about my sex life again. I promise to make sure my private life doesn’t effect either of you, as long as you promise to pretend like this conversation never happened,” I could feel my face burning with embarrassment. I kept my eyes focused on an ant that was crawling acro
ss the floorboards.
“Agreed, and we’re sorry that this conversation had to happen like this,” Henri smiled at me and nudged Erik.
Instead of apologizing, Erik asked hopefully, “Any chance you could promise to get rid of your boyfriend?”
“Sorry, not part of the deal.”
Erik shrugged, “Breakfast then?”
I grinned, relieved. “I’m starving.”
Since I had the day off I decided to play it safe and spend it with Penny. We spent most of the time in her room playing with all her gadgets. She had been right, there were quite a few she had no idea how to use. Even the two of us together couldn’t seem to figure it out. We talked about Donavon, and a Crypto Operative she had a crush on. She asked what it was like to live with two guys, and I complained about how lucky she was to have such a nice, big room to herself. We painted our toe nails bright orange, I was beginning to realize that wasn’t just Penny’s hair color but more like her whole color scheme.
Penny insisted on doing my makeup. I normally only wore makeup when I went with Mac’s family to a political event that required me to dress up. Penny however wore makeup every day, and seemed personally offended that I didn’t share her affinity.
Somewhere between applying the orchid eye shadow and the cherry never-been-kissed lip gloss, I learned Penny’s life story. Penny hadn’t started at the McDonough School at five which was customary. She told me her parents had given her up when she was still a baby. Instead of getting lucky and being adopted, she’d been shuttled from foster home to foster home until finally coming to live at Mrs. Gubbard’s Home for Girls when she was twelve. Her extremely elevated intelligence hadn’t gone unnoticed. Once she realized Penny wasn’t normal, the house matron had immediately contacted Toxic. Just weeks after arriving at the home she was moved once again, this time to a permanent domicile – The McDonough School.
Penny’s story made me feel a kinship for her. I wondered if maybe I’d instinctively known when I met her, that first night, that we had something in common, as I was oddly drawn to Penny from our first encounter. Up until now I’d thought that maybe she’d just come along at a time in my life when I really needed a friend, kind of like with Donavon. Now I thought it must’ve been that I knew on some level we had something in common; we were both orphans.
I wanted to take a quick look into her head, wanted to know see if she felt it too, but decided against the intrusion. I knew I wouldn’t want somebody invading my most painful and private memories.
Somehow, I too, found myself recounting my own tragic past. I gave Penny the abridged version of events that led to my own enrollment at school. I hadn’t shared my story with anybody, even Donavon. Donavon knew of course, but Mac had been the one to tell him. More likely he overhead Mac talking to Gretchen, he did have a penchant for eavesdropping.
That evening I had dinner with Donavon, and then we took a walk around the grounds. Even though my upcoming mission was supposed to be easy I was starting to get nervous. I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could before I left, but I still made sure to be in long before curfew. I didn’t want to risk upsetting Henri after our conversation that morning.
Erik was the only one there when I walked into my cabin two hours before midnight. He informed me that Henri always spent the night before he left with Frederick and that he would be back early the next morning. I wished for the umpteenth time that day I could spend the night with Donavon, but after the morning’s showdown I wasn’t about to take the chance. I lay in my bed, tossing and turning, well in to the night.
The anxiety of my first Hunt was making me restless, and preventing sleep. I wanted to seek out Donavon’s mind, but decided against it; talking to him in my head would just make me more desperate to be physically close to him.
Sometime shortly before sunrise, Erik turned on the light next to his bed.
“You should be sleeping. We have a couple of big days ahead of us,” he lectured.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” I apologized, feeling bad, but secretly a little glad that he was awake too.
“No, not exactly. It’s more like you haven’t let me sleep.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeated, actually feeling bad now.
“It’s okay, I was just as anxious before my first mission,” he mumbled.
“Did you keep Henri up all night?” I inquired, hopefully.
“Well, no,” he admitted. “But I also don’t have the ability to project my thoughts and feelings onto the people around me. Well, I don’t usually,” he amended. Henri was probably doubly glad that he wasn’t here if I was projecting my anxiousness on to Erik, making him jittery too. Having to deal with both of us would be pretty irritating.
“How do I force myself to sleep?” I moaned.
“You probably won’t be able to,” he conceded.
“So, what do I do?”
“Get up and put on your workout clothes,” he suggested.
“What? How is that going to help me sleep?”
“You should go for a run or something. It’ll tire you out, and you really need to get some sleep before we leave tonight.”
I sighed and pushed the covers off me. I trudged into the bathroom to change. Running was low on the list of things I wanted to do right then, but I was willing to try anything that would help me sleep. When I emerged I was surprised to see Erik sitting on the edge of his bed dressed in matching Agency-issue workout clothes, tying the white laces on his mesh tennis shoes.
“Ready?” he asked, without turning around.
“You’re coming?” I didn’t bother to mask my surprise.
“I’m up,” he answered simply.
We set off at a quick pace on a trail through the woods. We maintained the pace, without speaking, for over an hour.
As we ran, I focused my energy towards my olfactory sense. I breathed in the intoxicatingly sweet fragrance of the small, white flowers that grew on the base of the trees, the fresh smell of dew on the leaves, and even the earthy musk of the dirt. I could make out the heady scent of Erik’s sweat mixed with his deodorant, it was so distinctly male. I inhaled deeper without thinking twice, taking in as much of his aroma as I could. Suddenly, I realized what I was doing and quickly redirected my energy.
I switched my concentration to my sense of touch. The morning was cool and damp, and I could feel the tiny droplets of cold water that hung in the air on every surface of my exposed skin. I felt the trickle of cold sweat as it traced a path from the base of my skull down my back. I felt the tiniest pebbles as my feet pounded out a steady rhythm along the path.
I narrowed my eyes and refocused my energy to my sight, blocking the rest of my senses. I could see the beads of condensation on the too bright leaves. I could see the minute details in the bark of the passing trees. When I turned my head to look at Erik, I could see his long, thick eyelashes framing his beautiful eyes. I lost my footing and stumbled slightly. Erik looked down at me as I quickly strained to right myself.
“Okay?” he asked, raising his eyebrows, questioningly. I caught a glint in his eyes and knew that he had caught me looking at him.
“Yup,” I grunted, embarrassed.
Closing my eye, I tried to regroup. I directed my energy to my hearing. The pounding of my feet against the dirt was almost deafening. I could hear the thudding of my heart against my chest, just a microsecond faster than Erik’s. A small bumblebee flew next to my ear, and the flutter of its wings filled my head. I relaxed as my stride fell into rhythm with the steady burbling of a stream somewhere in the distance to my right.
I continued to cycle through my senses, expanding each one in turn, throughout the entire run. Over the years, the routine had become second-nature. The familiarity comforted me, and the anxiety that had been dampening my thoughts all week gave way to confidence. I could do this. I was ready for this mission.
Mac had begun teaching me to sharpen my senses six months after I came to live with his family. I would run blindfolded to
improve my hearing. He would have me wear earplugs for entire days, to improve my eyesight. Some days Mac would deprive me of two of my senses at once, pushing the remaining ones to their limits. It was a gradual process, but eventually I was able to tune in to each individual sense by drawing on my mental energy, and focusing it towards one sense.
The same principle worked with my mental abilities. Mac taught me to draw all of my energy towards my telecommunication abilities, strengthening and fine tuning my natural Talent.
Erik was right – when we got back I was exhausted. I showered quickly and then got back in my bed, promptly falling asleep.
Too soon, I woke to Henri gently shaking my shoulder.
“Tal, it’s time to get up,” he said softly.
“Hmmm,” I replied drowsily.
“You need to wake up and pack. We’re leaving in two hours.”
The bed rose as his weight left. This was it; I was finally going on my first Mission. My confidence from earlier remained. I was ready.
I rolled over and stretched. I pulled myself out of bed and began packing a small bag with only essential toiletries and several days’ worth of the most non-descript clothing that I owned. Bags containing the weapons, tech devices, and specialized clothing that we needed for our mission would be waiting for us at the hover plane.
I had finished my packing, and was pulling on knee high black boots over a thick black adapti-suit made of an impenetrable material that protected my skin from the elements, glancing blows and would slow down a blade and even a bullet, when I heard the knock on the door. As soon as I heard the knock, I knew that it was Donavon. I dove for the door, but Erik got there first.
“I should’ve guessed it would be you,” he greeted Donavon, icily, as he opened the door.
“Just wanted to say goodbye to Tal,” he held up his hands, indicating that he didn’t want trouble.
I walked over, grabbed his hand, and ushered him out the door. I slammed it shut behind me.
“Sorry about that,” I said to him.
“I don’t want to talk about him,” Donavon leaned down and kissed me. “Seriously, though Natalia, be careful.”
