by Sophie Davis
“Erik, either let me go on your own or I will force you to,” I threatened him in a voice just above a whisper. Physically, Erik was much stronger, but my mental abilities always seemed to improve when my emotions ran out of control, and tonight they were like a speeding train without brakes. I knew that my mental Talents would trump his physical ones, and if he didn’t remove his hand he would be sorry. He must’ve known it too.
Erik released my wrist and I took off into the woods, leaving him sitting alone. I sped through the woods, and into the Hunters’ Village. I ran through the Village, but stopped in my tracks when I noticed Donavon’s cabin lights on.
“Donavon?” I called.
“Hey! I just went by your cabin, but you weren’t there.” He threw open his cabin door and ran out to meet me. I jogged towards him, and leapt up into his arms. As soon as his arms were around my waist I felt the familiar, safe feeling that being with him always invoked.
“Sorry, your dad gave Penny and me permission to go into the city for the day, and we just got back.”
“No worries, Tal. You’re here now.”
“I missed you so much Donavon,” I found his lips, and kissed him softly. When I pulled back, I saw Erik coming out of the woods. He stopped abruptly when he saw me and Donavon entangled in each other’s arms. I was torn – part of me wanted to run to Erik, but I suppressed the urge.
“Wanna come in and hang out for a while?” Donavon asked.
“Of course, let me just send Penny a comm and tell her I’m not coming over.”
“Oh, if you have plans with Penny, then go ahead over there. I’m really tired anyway. We’ll spend the day together tomorrow,” he promised.
“Tomorrow,” I agreed, relieved. Truth be told, I didn’t want to be with Donavon right then, not when my wrist was still burning from where Erik had grabbed me.
Once in Penny’s room I dutifully played with my new purchases. I painted my nails with purple polish and sat still while Penny experimented on me with different shades of eye shadows. Penny was her bubbly self, and I felt bad that my heart wasn’t in it. I kept thinking about Erik and what might’ve happened if I hadn’t left when I did.
I got back to my cabin after Erik was asleep, and left again in the morning before he was awake. I knew that I would have to face him eventually, but I was happy to prolong the inevitable.
I spent the whole next day with Donavon. We played in the lake with Harris and Penny and some of Donavon’s other friends, including Laris. My thoughts never strayed to Erik, and his beautiful eyes, his generous mouth, his shirtless torso. Okay, maybe once they did – or twice.
“I hate that this day has to end,” Donavon moaned as we lay side-by-side on a blanket next to the water.
“We don’t need to go anywhere for a while,” I replied, rolling over on my side to face him.
“I’ve got to shower and get ready.”
“Get ready for what?” I demanded.
“I promised that I would go into the District with Harris and Arden.”
“I see.”
“You’re mad,” he observed.
“I just figured that you’d be spending the night with me since you just got back,” I argued.
“Would you rather I not go?” he offered, but I could tell that he didn’t mean it.
“No, you go. It’s fine,” I snapped. Why was I picking a fight with him?
“Tal, I’m not going if it upsets you,” he said, trying to pull me to him.
“No, go,” I relented, “I’m not mad, just disappointed.” I tried to reign in my irrational anger.
“I’ll bring you back a good present,” he tempted.
“Are you trying to bribe me?” I scowled, letting him pull me down into his arms.
“Only if it’s working,” he smiled, and his whole face lit up.
“It’s working,” I grinned.
In the end, I was relieved that Donavon was spending the night in the city with Harris and Arden. I felt guilty about being relieved, but I felt even worse about being with him when I couldn’t get Erik out of my head.
Chapter Twenty-One
Erik and Henri were both gone when I got back to my cabin; a fact for which I was grateful. I showered, dressed and curled into my bed with a book. Penny and some of the other Pledges had invited me to hang out in Penny’s room, but I really wanted to take advantage of this rare opportunity to be alone.
I must have fallen asleep while reading, because I woke with a start when the door to the cabin flew open and slammed against the wall. I shot up in my bed as Erik stormed through, with Henri hot on his heels. Something was wrong – Erik was holding a bloody cloth to the side of his face with one hand, and had a bag of ice in the other.
Henri went straight for the medical kit in the bathroom, as Erik threw himself on his bed.
“What happened?” I exclaimed, jumping off of my bed and ran over to him.
“It’s nothing, Tal. I just got in a little scuffle with an asshole at the bar,” he refused to meet my eyes, and I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was hiding something.
I reached up, and pulled the hand that was holding the cloth, away from his face. I gasped at the cut across his cheekbone, with a bruise already blossoming around the edges. I looked over the rest of him; his shirt was torn and I could see red patches across his chest and stomach. The knuckles of both his hands were bloody, and several nasty red scratches ran the length of his arms.
“Who did this?” I asked tightly.
“I told you, just some asshole at the bar,” Erik said, through clenched teeth.
“Look at me,” I demanded. He shook his head and refused to lift his eyes. I opened my mind, and tried to reach into his.
“Stop!” he screamed jumping back. “Don’t you dare, Natalia. I’ve been through enough tonight, I don’t need you playing around in my head too.”
“I’m sorry,” I stammered, stumbling backward off of his bed, regretting overstepping my bounds.
“Tal, why don’t you sit over there so I can clean Erik’s cut,” Henri said quietly, gesturing to the chair in the corner of the room. I nodded and moved clumsily back out of the way.
“Erik,” I tried again. I couldn’t help myself.
“I don’t want to talk to you right now,” he cut me off.
“Did I do something wrong? I don’t understand.”
“Not everything is about you!” he shouted. His words stung, and I felt the prick of tears in the corners of my eyes.
Out of habit, I did what I always do when I’m upset; I opened my mind to find Donavon, and was shocked to learn that he was in his cabin. I had no idea if it was after curfew, but I didn’t care either. I grabbed my shoes and ran out the door.
“Talia! No!” Erik yelled after me, but I ignored him.
“Let her go, she’s going to find out soon enough,” I heard Henri say to him.
I suddenly felt sick to my stomach, and I hesitated at the door to Donavon’s cabin. I had a bad feeling about what I would find behind that door. I raised my hand and rapped three knocks in fast succession. Harris opened the door a second later.
“Hey, Tal,” he said, a little too loudly.
“Hey, Harris, is he in there?” I asked, even though I already knew that he was.
“Um . . . yeah. He’s here, but I’m not really sure this is really a good time,” he filled the entire doorway, so that I couldn’t see in to the cabin.
“Let her in,” I heard Donavon’s muffled voice from inside.
Harris gave me a pity-filled look, but moved to one side. I walked to where Donavon was sitting with ice wrapped in a cloth pressed to his mouth. His shirt was torn and bloody, and one of his eyes had swelled almost completely shut, leaving only a slit of blue visible.
“Why?” I demanded.
“I don’t want to do this with you right now, Tal,” Donavon sounded tired.
“Why?” I repeated louder. Both Harris and Arden were there, watching and listening, but I did
n’t care what they thought about me.
“Erik was being a jerk and I said something, then one thing led to another and we got in to a fight,” Donavon wouldn’t meet my eyes. For the first time ever, I knew that Donavon was lying to me. What I didn’t know was why. I could push my way into his head, but a part of me was afraid what I might find.
“Fine, if that’s all then I’m going back to bed,” I turned and walked to the door.
“Tal, wait!” I turned around and met his eyes. “I love you.”
The look in Donavon’s eyes told me that he was scared. I didn’t have to dig in to his mind to know what he was scared of – he was scared of losing me. A familiar surge of emotion washed over me. I felt awful for letting Erik affect me the way that he had. I felt ashamed about the way that I’d been acting. Most of all, I felt guilty.
“I know, Donavon. I love you too,” I walked back over to him, and gently kissed him on the cheek.
After I left Donavon’s cabin, I didn’t go back to my own. I couldn’t face Erik. What had I done? What had I started? Erik had never liked Donavon, but now they were getting in physical altercations? If anyone in charge found out about this, they would both be in huge trouble, and it would all be my fault. When had I become the kind of girl that played boys against each other? Let boys fight over her?
It was cold outside, and I wasn’t really dressed appropriate for the rapidly decreasing temperature. I hugged myself and tried to will the cold away. I sat on one of the wooden benches that surrounded a fire pit in the center of the Hunters’ Village, and counted the stars in the night sky. I don’t know how long I sat there, but I lost count several times before I heard footsteps behind me.
I knew that it was Erik before he spoke. “Tal?” he hesitated when he was still several feet from the bench.
“Hi, Erik,” I replied, without turning around.
“Can I sit with you?” he sounded nervous.
“Are you sure that you want to?” I mumbled.
The bench sagged slightly under his weight as he sat down, careful not to touch me. “It’s cold out here, why don’t you come back to the cabin?”
“I’m sorry, Erik,” my voice was barely audible.
“Sorry? For what? It’s not your fault that your boyfriend sucks.”
“Sorry that you got in a fight because of me,” I tried to keep my voice from trembling.
“Do you love him, Tal?” Erik caught me by surprise – I hadn’t expected him to be so bold.
“Of course I do,” I snapped, but I didn’t even believe my own words. “I do love him,” I repeated, this time with more conviction and more for my benefit than Erik’s.
Erik hesitantly reached for my hand, and when I didn’t pull away he grasped it firmly in his own. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Donavon would never hurt me,” I said evenly. I was the one hurting him, did Erik not see that? I met his eyes.
“You sure about that?” Erik asked. I looked at his bruised face and wanted more than anything to comfort him. I raised my hand slowly toward his cheek, but let it drop before my fingertips could brush his skin.
“Positive,” I answered.
Erik nodded sadly and got to his feet, pulling me with him, “Let’s get you to bed.”
I let Erik lead me back to our cabin. I curled up in my bed when we got back; but even with all of my blankets, I couldn’t shake off the numbness that had taken over my body.
The next couple of days were awkward at best. Everyone wanted to talk about the fight between Donavon and Erik. Nobody knew that they’d been fighting about me, since the only other person from the Agency there had been Arden. Henri had been with Frederick until Erik messaged him, needing a ride back to Headquarters, and Harris never left the cabin.
Penny pressed me for details, but I couldn’t tell her what I didn’t know. Besides knowing that they got in a fight about me, I didn’t know how it had started or ended. I saw the aftermath, and that was plenty; I didn’t really want to know more. I wanted for it all to go away.
Captain Alvarez called both boys into his office, but thankfully only issued stern warnings to each. If Erik had gotten in a fight with any other Operative the penalty would’ve been stiffer, but no one wanted to risk angering Mac by punishing his son. Since neither would admit who’d started the fight, Captain Alvarez was hesitant hand out unequal reprimands.
Our training sessions became longer, more intense. Erik was friendly, not going out of his way to avoid me, but he rarely joked around and he seemed distant most days. Every chance that he got, he went into the city and stayed until well after curfew, if he came home at all. Henri insisted I just needed to give him time. I wanted to believe him, but I was afraid that my silly crush on him had ruined everything.
“Maybe you should have me transferred,” I suggested to Henri at dinner one night, after Erik had gone to D.C. for the third night in a row.
“No,” he answered firmly. “We’ve worked for months to get where we are, and I’m not throwing that away. Erik just needs some time.”
“I messed up though, didn’t I?”
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Henri said, emphatically. “Honestly, the reason he’s staying away is not what you think. Erik just does this sometimes.” I knew that he was lying to make me feel better, but I nodded like I understood what he meant anyway.
Donavon was a different story. He clung to me like a drowning man does to a life raft, waiting for me when I was done with practices, and then insisting that I eat dinner with him almost every night. After we’d eat, he would refuse to let me out of his sight until he deposited me at my door, minutes before curfew. Instead of going into the city on his nights off, Donavon choose to stay at Headquarters with me and Penny. When we were alone, he was careful to not get too physical when we were alone, saying he knew that I would let him know I when I was ready.
Soon, Donavon was at my side every minute that I wasn’t training. When we weren’t physically together, he was sending me thoughts. I wanted to block him, but I knew that would upset him too much. I longed for the blissful days when Henri’s worries bogged down my mind. Now, I couldn’t even make space in my head for Henri’s thoughts, because Donavon’s constant mental rambling left no room. Training was my only reprieve from his relentless intrusions. I felt justified in blocking him, in order to concentrate on my mental connection with Erik and Henri.
Honestly, it was all becoming a little over the top, and I started to feel smothered. So, when Henri announced at breakfast one morning that we had been given two back-to-back Hunts that would keep us away for at least two weeks, possibly longer, I was relieved.
Space from Donavon was not the only reason that I wanted to get away from Headquarters. I was eager to correct the mistakes that I’d made in Mexico. I was desperate to prove that I belonged here, that I had what it took to be a Hunter. No matter how many times Henri told me that Hunters get hurt all the time, and I hadn’t messed up, I couldn’t really believe him. I knew that the hard part had been getting accepted to Pledge the Hunters, but if I didn’t prove my worth in the field, I still might not graduate.
We flew out before sunrise the next morning. I’d said goodbye to Donavon the night before, because I didn’t want him coming to the hangar with Erik there. A bleary-eyed, bushy-haired Penny did show up at the hangar to say goodbye and wish us luck, and I was grateful for her presence.
I had mixed feelings about leaving Donavon. I was, of course, relieved to be away from him for a couple of days, but I was also uneasy about spending so much time alone with Erik, without the constant reminder of my boyfriend. I was nervous that my irrational fixation with Erik would return. No wonder that Donavon was scared to leave me alone; if I couldn’t trust myself to keep my distance from Erik, how could he?
The first of the two missions was an abandoned warehouse in a Coalition town just over the border. The town belonged to the Coalition but the Agency had a number of loyal followers there. Toxic
had become aware of the warehouse when it was still occupied by Coalition forces, but it was deemed an unnecessary risk to check out – or so that was what our intel said. Our mission was to thoroughly search the warehouse for any sign of what was once manufactured there. The Agency believed it was just physical weapons – guns, swords, knives – but we needed to be sure they hadn’t been making biological or chemical weapons as well.
Even though this mission was technically on enemy territory, it was considered extremely low-risk since it was doubtful that we’d come in contact with any members of the Coalition. The atmosphere on the flight was far less tense than the ride to Mexico for our first mission had been. Still, I could barely sit in my seat, but it was more out of anticipation than nerves. Erik and Henri talked and joked for almost the whole trip, and Erik even went out of his way to include me in the conversation. Finally things were starting to get back to normal between us.
Once we landed and deplaned, we walked the short distance to another dilapidated-looking barn, where Henri chose a vehicle to drive into the town. We didn’t wear our adapt-suits, but rather regular clothes, although we all had weapons concealed underneath.
Instead of going to an abandoned safe house, we drove straight in to town and parked behind a small, well-maintained house. There was nothing special about the building; non-descript, was the best word for it. This safe house had no command center like the previous one but, thankfully, it did have a fully stocked kitchen and two small bedrooms. I took one if the rooms and the boys shared the other. Henri explained that after nightfall, we would scope out the area surrounding the warehouse to ensure that it was indeed abandoned. As long as all of our intel was correct, we’d be able to go in the next night, gather the necessary information, and be on our way.
This sort of fact-finding mission was the norm for Hunters. Toxic knew that the Coalition was becoming stronger by the day, recruiting followers to aid in the battle against the rest of the country; we didn’t know was how much progress they were actually making.
Intel, gathered daily, informed us that they were developing technology to rival ours. It was important for our side to learn exactly how far they’d come in reaching that goal, but the locations of their research and development plants were hard to get an accurate fix on. I assumed that they’d developed at least some form of masking technology, similar to ours, to scramble satellites, so that we couldn’t pinpoint their whereabouts.
