by Ella Jade
Just inside a chute off the main arena she could see her boyfriend. Beneath him an agitated bronc shifted, snorting. Soon the buzzer would sound, the gate to the chute would burst open, and out would come the furious horse, her boyfriend clinging to its back in a desperate attempt to be the one who stayed on the longest.
“Oh, Kelly, don’t be so dramatic.” Her friend, Jennifer, leveled an annoyed stare on her. “Dustin has done this, like, a hundred times. He’ll be fine.”
Kelly bit back a retort. Jennifer had a thing for Dustin, and she’d follow him to the ends of the earth. Kelly, on the other hand, was near the end of her rope with her thrill-seeking boyfriend. She twirled the small gold promise ring around her finger. He’d given it to her only three days before.
She heard a sharp squeal. Her head jerked up, her gaze settling on the chute. Dustin jumped to the top of the corral panels as the bronc thrashed. Men talked to the horse, trying to settle it. At least they don’t jab it with an electric prod like they do the bulls.
Dustin looked her direction. Jennifer waved, but Kelly could only offer him a half-hearted smile. A bad feeling soured her stomach. She searched the crowd, but didn’t see her brother. He’d be up next. His first night riding. She worried over Dustin, but she downright feared for her brother. He idolized Dustin, but he was so much smaller than her boyfriend. He seemed so much more fragile. And much too impressionable.
The buzzer sounded, and Kelly’s attention shot to the arena. The bronc charged free, bucking, twisting, turning, kicking, its teeth bared in determination to be rid of the man on its back. Her boyfriend’s body jerked back and forth like a rag doll atop the animal. She held her breath—the only way she could possibly keep him on the horse was by will alone. Though she knew she didn’t possess any kind of magic to make a difference.
Jennifer let out a war whoop, standing up and shouting with the rest of the spectators. Dustin had outlasted the ticking clock, eight seconds of pure edge-of-her-seat hell, and Kelly watched as rodeo clowns circled the horse, trying to distract it as Dustin jumped free. Her friend thought the rodeo circuit was sexy. Kelly didn’t feel it. A lifelong horsewoman, she rode English, a completely different world from cowboys and rodeos.
Dustin trotted to the side of the arena and jumped up on the corral panel, flashing Kelly his most devilish smile. The cold, fearful spot inside her warmed instantly, and she met him, placing a big, sloppy kiss on his lips. They were complete opposites, but high school sweethearts, and at twenty-one their chemistry was still strong as ever. As soon as she graduated college and Dustin saw how far his rodeo career would take him, they’d be married.
Girls had always thrown themselves at him, including her gorgeous friend Jennifer back in school, but Kelly had never seen him give anyone else a second look. Even though Kelly wasn’t the jealous type, and wouldn’t have minded him noticing another girl, he said no one would ever turn his head again. Not since the moment he’d laid eyes on her their sophomore year.
“I love you,” she said to him.
“You are my everything, angel,” he said, placing a gentle palm against her cheek. He kissed her again, then dropped his dirty Stetson on top of her head, showing the world she was his girl, before jumping down.
The announcer called the next name. “Keith Atkins!”
Kelly’s heart dropped, that cold, fearful spot sweeping through her head to toe. No, no, no. She had hoped beyond hope that her twin brother would have a change of heart. That he’d realize he couldn’t keep up with his friend Dustin. That Dustin was made of tougher stuff.
Her hands shook as she swiped her sweating palms against her jeans. The sour feeling in her gut intensified as she watched Keith climb inside the chute. Another bronc, one that sounded even more vicious than the one Dustin had just ridden, reacted, throwing itself against its confines. Keith shot up and balanced on the top rails of the chute while the workers calmed the horse long enough to get its rider on board.
Stupid, stupid sport. Stupid, stupid, stupid…
Then Keith was back in the saddle, and the damned buzzer sounded. Her brother whipped about like a ragdoll, but Kelly immediately saw that he wasn’t seated quite right. He’d shifted off-center and gripped the saddle with both hands, disqualifying him. The brown and white bronc knew its rider couldn’t hang on, and its pale blue eyes glittered with hate and triumph. Demon was its name and it was living up to the moniker.
“Keith!” Kelly yelled over the calls of the crowd. “Keith!” He’d slipped further and then did what she feared—he pitched forward, clutching on as best he could. “Lean back!” she screamed. “Lean back, Keith!”
He had to lean back, because once he fell forward he had no hope of staying on.
She ran to the side of the arena and climbed up on the rail. “Lean back!”
In a matter of seconds, from the time the chute gate opened to when she jumped on the rail, her whole world unraveled. Keith was clinging on, then her brother fell. Instinctively, he curled into a fetal position, trying to protect himself, but it wasn’t enough. A scream tore from Kelly’s throat. An anguished cry from the deepest part of her soul.
The thousand-pound bronc’s back hooves crashed down, right on top of her brother’s head.
* * * *
It was the unnatural hush that hurt the worst. Kelly paced the waiting room, wanting news, but fearing it at the same time. Her brother had clung to life during the emergency ride to the hospital. He was in surgery. Her family and friends waited, silent. Any other time, laughter and conversation would fill a room with the same people in it.
The sickening feeling worsened, and soon after, she felt it. Death. A doctor appeared in the doorway, and Kelly only had to look at his face to know the truth. She sobbed, and broke down, dropping to her knees in the middle of the floor. Her mother’s wail shortly followed when the doctor said what they all had dreaded. Keith was brain-dead, and his driver’s license stated he was an organ donor. They would have to act fast to save any part of him.
“Yes, Keith wanted to be a donor,” she heard her mother say through sobs. “That’s the kind of person he was.”
Hands rested on Kelly’s shoulders, then a solid body cradled her close, rocking her on the floor. The familiar scent of Dustin’s aftershave filled her head, and she sucked it down, grasping at it like a drowning man grasps for land.
“I can’t lose him,” Kelly said between sobbing gasps. “I can’t lose him, Dustin.”
“I know, angel, I know.”
He hugged her tighter as she buried her face in his chest.
“Keith’s in a better place,” her aunt said nearby. “He’s with the Lord now, let’s be happy for that. Praise the Lord, praise the Lord.”
She meant well, Kelly knew she only meant to offer comfort, but anger welled up inside and spilled from her lips. “Shut up, Aunt Georgina. Cut out the bullshit.”
Kelly shoved away from Dustin and jumped to her feet. The room of people turned to her, shocked at her outburst. No one had ever heard her say a curse word before, she never cursed.
“He’s gone!” she shouted. “He’s gone because of a…a ridiculous goddamned stunt he got talked into.” Kelly whirled on Dustin who’d rested a hand on her shoulder. She slapped his hand away. “You.” She jabbed her finger into her boyfriend’s chest. “You did this, Dustin. You. Keith had to be like you. He had to follow in your footsteps. You knew he couldn’t keep up, yet you supported him, you encouraged him. You should’ve stopped him. When Dad left, Keith wanted, no, he needed someone to look up to and that ended up being you.”
“Now, Kelly, please,” her cousin, Jason, began from somewhere behind her, “you’re upset.”
“You’re fuckin’ right I’m upset!” She looked around at the pale faces and slack-jawed looks she’d gathered from those she loved most in the world. Save one, her brother. “None of you, not one of you, know what I’m feeling right now. He wasn’t only my brother, he was my twin. Don’t you get that? We’ve been togeth
er since we were conceived. Now what am I going to do? Huh? Tell me what to do, because I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.”
“Kelly, baby…” Her mother gave her the most heartbroken, miserable look as Aunt Georgina held her shaking body close. The look of a mother who’d just lost half of her children. Now, Kelly realized, she was an only child. A horrible, empty hole opened inside of her.
“Kelly.” Dustin’s voice held a note of desperation.
The ugly, empty hole opened wider, and she looked Dustin square in his tear-glazed blue eyes. She pulled the promise ring off her finger and dropped it on the floor at his feet.
“It’s your fault he’s dead. It should’ve been you.”
She strode out of the waiting room.
Chapter 1
Ten years later…
Kelly hit the dirt, knocking the wind from her lungs. She heard her mare, Mystic, snort and trot away.
“Brat,” she muttered, slowly getting to her feet.
Falls hurt a heck of a lot worse now that she was in her thirties. She’d approached the oxer in too many strides, so technically Kelly was at fault. She couldn’t blame the mare for the refusal. Timing was everything in training, and Mystic was still too green to judge distance for herself.
“Okay, girl, come here. I deserved that.”
She walked over and collected Mystic’s reins and led her back to the mounting block. She climbed on the tall horse, wincing when her sore backside touched the saddle. Kelly hoped to have Mystic ready for her first show soon. Low fences, nothing too competitive for the off-track Thoroughbred to get her feet wet in. The most important thing would be to get the mare happy and excited for her new career away from the racetrack. Kelly trained and showed horses that liked their work, she wouldn’t have it any other way.
She reached down and patted the mare’s sleek neck. “Come on, we’ll hit the line two more times then it’s a nice liniment rubdown for you, and a glass of wine for me.”
She squeezed her calves against the mare’s sides, sending her forward. Mystic broke out into a trot before collecting into a canter, heading for the first foot and a half high jump.
“One, two, three,” Kelly said, counting off the strides to focus her mind. “One, two, three, one.” She squeezed her calves, sending Mystic over the jump. “One, two, three, one, two, three, one.” Up and over the short oxer they soared, and Kelly breathed a sigh of relief. Oxers, jumps set side by side, making the horse jump wider, were the bane of her jumping career. Her worst falls, including a broken wrist, happened over oxers.
She turned her head, looking for her next jump, tightening the left rein while nudging Mystic with her right boot heel. Mystic responded, turning left, taking the left lead with only light direction from Kelly. She grinned; a horse blessed with a quick mind and sensitive to light aids, which looked much nicer in a horse show, and made her more adoptable to someone serious about competition.
They made the circuit twice more, then as promised, she walked the mare to cool her out, then dismounted and walked Mystic back to the barn.
“Hey, Kelly, you looked good out there today,” Joan, her volunteer, said, peeking out of an empty horse stall.
Kelly smiled at her friend while changing out Mystic’s bridle for a halter. “You mean I took that fall well, right?”
Joan chuckled. “Well, you get back on still. That’s more than I could do these days.”
“What do you mean?” Kelly snapped crossties onto Mystic’s halter, securing the horse, before she moved to unsaddle the mare. “You’re still a spring chicken, lady.”
This time her friend laughed out loud. “Such sweet things you say, dear. Sixty is a far cry from a spring chicken. This chicken is ready to go to roost.”
Kelly playfully rolled her eyes as Joan went back to work. She massaged Mystic’s muscles with liniment, longing for the same treatment as she moved her own sore shoulders and back. A professional massage seemed an extravagant expense with the rise in hay costs. A drought had caused a shortage, and she had to have it shipped in from out of state.
“You need a sexy cowboy to take care of those sore spots,” Joan joked as if reading her mind. “Like that Clint fellow we met at the feed store the other day.”
Kelly’s cheeks heated, and she kept her gaze on Mystic. “You know how I feel about cowboys,” she said, keeping her voice light. “They can’t keep up. And he couldn’t have been more than twenty-five, Joan.” She’d had a cowboy once, and once was all she wanted. A familiar and long buried ache settled in a forgotten spot in her heart.
Joan lifted a shoulder. “Hey, I wasn’t saying you should marry the fellow.” Her friend shot her a wink and left the barn.
After finishing with Mystic, she turned the mare out with her pasture mates, and walked to her home, exhausted. Snowflake, one of the barn cats, wound around her feet, tripping her up every couple of steps. Used to the furry, little nuisance, she ignored him, leaving him outside the patio door while she walked inside to the fridge to get a bowl of milk for the miscreant. Snowflake kept up a steady stream of meows she could hear even through the glass.
“Okay, okay, I’m hurrying,” she mumbled, pouring the last of the milk into a bowl she’d pulled out of the cabinet.
Her phone chirped, and she picked it up off the countertop, recognizing the number on her caller ID. “Hello?”
“Kelly, it’s Ken, your realtor. I’m calling to let you know you got an offer.”
Kelly blinked, and her breath left in a whoosh. She’d both wanted and dreaded this news.
“Great,” she said after clearing her throat.
“Full price too, if you can believe it,” Ken continued. “With land prices so low I figured we’d have to haggle. Anyhoo, we’ll work out the contract then set up the closing date.”
“Perfect. Thanks, Ken.”
The call ended and she set her phone down, noticing her trembling hand. Money was tight, and in order to keep her off-track Thoroughbred rescue going she needed to do something. Her farm had one hundred fifty acres. She’d bought it off her cousin Jason after her Aunt Georgina had passed away a few years back. She’d loved her aunt and hated parting with any part of her; she saw the kind woman everywhere on the land. But she’d put fifty acres on the market, and competition was fierce, because many in the farming community had done the same due to the drought and resulting feeding costs.
She let out a big sigh, noticing the panicked Snowflake outside who seemed sure he wouldn’t get his daily specials. Kelly picked up the bowl of milk and grabbed a couple of kitty treats from the treat jar, then carried them outside to the impatient feline.
A few minutes later she pulled off her dirty riding clothes, stuffed them inside the already full hamper, and walked into the bathroom, carrying a glass of cold Pinot Grigio. Though the temperature had hit the low nineties today, she needed to soak in a hot bath to ease her aches and pains. Strains and minor arthritis left her feeling twenty years older, the result of years of bad falls and being in the saddle. A small price to pay for doing something she loved. Something she lived and breathed and couldn’t imagine existing without. Being beat and battered in the saddle on a bad-behaving horse beat any good day in a cushy, climate-controlled office job.
The tub filled up, and she added some peppermint oil, inhaling the invigorating scent. Just as she lifted her foot to step into the welcoming water, the doorbell chimed.
“Crap, who the heck is that?” She threw on her robe and went to answer the front door.
* * * *
Dustin pulled up outside the two-story farmhouse and shifted his truck into park. The place looked just like it did the last time he’d seen it—some ten years before. The day of Keith’s funeral. Afterward friends and family had gathered at Aunt Georgina’s place to celebrate the life of a young man gone too soon from the world. Kelly had held onto her anger all through that terrible day and hadn’t spoken to him, and he hadn’t pushed it, believing she just needed time to grieve h
er loss. Had he realized that she wouldn’t come around, that she’d collected together a grudge that walled her in beyond even his reach…
He shook his head, sending the memory back to the box he kept it in at the back of his mind. It was all in the past. Kelly had left to go back to college, and he’d thrown himself into his rodeo career. He’d only just recently returned to town, and there was one woman he had to see.
“Hang out here for a bit, Jake,” he said to his dog who rode shotgun. “I don’t know how this is going to go.” He ruffled the dog’s fur, turned the air-conditioning on high, and leaving the diesel engine idling, got out of his rig.
His nerves strung tighter as he walked up to the front door. Colorful flowers lined the paved walkway, their fragrance light and pleasant. A welcoming path to follow, though Dustin didn’t have any delusions on how he’d be greeted. After a decade he hoped pain had subsided enough they could have a civil conversation about his plans. After all, they weren’t too far removed from what the farm did now.
Dustin removed his Stetson and took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. He tapped his boot toe, until a curtain moved aside on a window next to the door. His heart leapt when he caught sight of the face peering out at him. She appeared a pale apparition as she stared out, her mouth opened slightly. Then those rosy lips he couldn’t get enough of once, snapped closed. The curtain swung closed, and after several seconds passed, Dustin feared she wouldn’t open the door. But she did, and he stared into the wide, brown eyes of the woman who’d shattered his heart.
“Kelly,” he said in greeting when she seemed at a loss for words.
“D-Dustin?” she returned, clutching her robe lapels tight with both hands. “What… I mean, um, why are you here?”
The white terry cloth robe concealed what the always modest Kelly needed it to, but she still looked irresistible. Dustin felt a jolt of arousal shoot through him, and he quickly refocused on her eyes. Her shocked and flushed face was as beautiful as when he’d last seen her. Her face had thinned out some, and light laugh lines creased the corner of her eyes, but she was still Kelly, and he suddenly couldn’t believe he stood before her. He searched for the reason he’d come over.
