by H L Day
I glared at him. "I don't know. Is that my Christmas present? If so, yes."
I was met with mock surprise. "Oh! You want your Christmas present, do you? Why didn't you just say so?" He climbed off the bed, padding naked to the middle of the room while I enjoyed the view. He stood and scanned the room. "Now if only I could remember where I put it."
I lay back against the pillows and gave a theatrical sigh. "I might date a fireman. One with a big hose. Have you still got Ben's number? He's probably got a lot of fireman friends he can introduce me to."
A perfectly wrapped present hit me square in the chest. I sat up, waiting until Indy was back on the bed. I had no idea what it could be—anything from a joke present to something serious. It didn't matter. What mattered was that even after only being together a short amount of time, and without discussing it, we'd both taken the time to come up with something. I started to pick at the corner. "What is it?"
Indy tutted. "Try opening it and finding out... or I may as well not have bothered wrapping it. I could have just handed it over and said, there you go... it's a..."
I peeled off the paper to find a plain box. Indy's hand closed over mine before I could open it. "Before you do, I just want to say that one of the items in there isn't a big deal, it's more of a practical thing, you know, because we work different hours. It'll make things easier."
Okay. My curiosity was definitely piqued. I tipped the box out onto the sheet. Two items fell out. One was a mug which said “I hate u... okay let's have sex.” which I had to admit was highly amusing and very apt considering the origins of our relationship. The other item though was far more interesting. It was a keyring with two keys. It didn't take a genius to work out that they were the keys to the exterior door and Indy's flat. I held them up and grinned at him, strangely touched by the gesture. "Wow! Next week you'll be asking me to move in with you."
I dangled them in his face and he batted my hand away. "Like I said, it's a practical thing."
I lay down, turning on my side so I could face him. "It's a very sweet thought."
He lay down, facing me. I had a sudden rush of euphoria as we stared into each other's eyes. How had I gotten this lucky that I was getting to spend the foreseeable future with a man who was practically perfect? For me, anyway. I didn't care what my parents thought of him. They were wrong. Just like I'd been. At least I'd had the excuse of finding him in bed with Stephen. They just had their prejudiced preconceptions of men with tattoos, along with their stick-in-the-mud beliefs about sons and their role in the family they'd never asked to be born into. "You were right."
Indy's eyebrow arched. "About what? And whatever it is, can I have it in writing? So that when you deny it later, I've still got proof."
"About the two of us being good together."
He smiled. "Hallelujah! He finally admits it."
I reached across the space between us, tracing my fingers lightly over the biceps which contained the tattoo with the space. The space he'd said was for a name. I traced the letters of my name, imagining what it would look like there.
"Are you doing what I think you're doing?"
I snatched my hand away. "No."
"Good. Because I just gave you my keys. One step at a time."
I nodded, knowing he was right. The words I wanted to say hovered on my tongue, but I held them back. It was probably better to let him say them first. He'd given me a set of his keys. If that didn't spell commitment, I didn't know what did. I could wait. After all, he'd had to wait long enough for me to get my head out of my ass.
Chapter Seventeen
"YOU'RE STILL ANNOYED at me, aren't you?"
Dominic raised his head from his coffee cup for long enough to give me a steady stare. "Annoyed at you? Why would I be annoyed at you? I completely understand why you were having a relationship that you didn't even bother telling me about."
I waved a finger at him. "Ah, now hang on a minute. You were pretty busy with your own drama, you know. Like ignoring all my calls when I was trying to help and spending all your free time with Tristan before you decided to commit relationship suicide. Not to mention that you called in sick to avoid being at work. I don't know when I was supposed to fit in telling you about Indy."
Dominic didn't appear mollified in the slightest. "You could have messaged me."
I snorted. "And say what? By the way, you know that guy who I caught in bed with my ex, I'm having sex with him now. And he's all kinds of awesome. Although I'm not going to admit that to myself until it's almost too late and he doesn't want anything to do with me. You'd have thought I'd gone insane."
"I guess so." Now that Dominic had sorted out his differences with Tristan and admitted that he was head over heels in love with him, he was much happier. In fact, it shone out of him. I'd have found it amusing if I didn't have a sneaking suspicion that I wore a similar glow. Who'd have thought that in the space of a few weeks, both of us would have gone from devoutly single to loved up? The world was a very strange place. I still hadn't spilled the L word to Indy. There just hadn't seemed to be the right time or place.
Thinking about him had me pulling my phone out and messaging him. I hadn't seen him for a couple of days. Which was a couple of days too long, in my opinion.
Paul: Hi, gorgeous. You appear to be hiding from me. I miss you. Can I see you tonight?
Dominic tapped on the table to get my attention. "So, when do I get to meet him? Properly, that is. I've only seen him from afar. And that time I was expected to treat him as if he was the devil. Which I have to say I was very good at."
I laughed. "Yeah, funny that. Almost like it comes naturally. But, seriously... you were amazingly supportive and I really appreciated it. I had every intention of never graduating beyond hatred toward him, myself. But..." I smiled at the memory. "He was incredibly persuasive."
Dom smiled. "Alright. I don't want the gory details. We should do dinner together... the four of us. That way you can get to know Tristan better and I can meet this man who's made you all starry-eyed."
I directed a stony look his way. "You can talk."
Ignoring the comment, Dominic fiddled with his phone. "I'll send Tristan a message now. Maybe instead of going out, we can do it at his place. There's a lot more room, you know on account of him having a shitload more money. Plus, it'll be better than a restaurant. We'll be able to take our time. Chat properly."
"Sure. Sounds good." I wasn't just saying that. After all the drama with my ill-advised attack on Tristan, it would be good to clear the air and get to know the man who it seemed was going to be a major fixture in Dom's life. That was, unless my friend did something stupid again. My phone chimed with a message.
Indy: Sorry. Can't see you tonight.
He was fobbing me off again. It was hard not to start jumping to conclusions.
"What's wrong?"
I lifted my head to meet Dom's quizzical expression. "I'm beginning to feel as if Indy's giving me the cold shoulder."
"I'm sure he's not."
I sighed. "And you're basing that on your extensive knowledge of the man, are you? What would you call it when I keep trying to see him and he keeps coming up with excuses?" I read the message again. The message that said precisely nothing. "Actually... not even excuses. Just a blunt, can't see you. I've no idea what I've done."
Dom looked thoughtful. "When did you last see him?"
I thought back, unable to keep the smile from my face as I remembered. "We spent all day Sunday together." We'd gone to an art gallery. God knows why. Neither of us were particularly into art. Then we'd had dinner together before returning to his flat and spending the rest of the evening fucking like rabbits. I'd left early the next morning for work and the only exchanges between us since then had been his stilted messages. At first, I'd put it down to him being busy, but now paranoia was beginning to set in.
"And how were things between you?"
"Fine. Absolutely fine."
I typed out another message.
Indy: I'll let you know.
I turned my phone around so that Dom could read the messages on the screen. He grimaced. "What advice would you give to me if Tristan was doing that?"
I propped my chin on my hand while I thought about it. "Firstly, I doubt he'd do that. That's more your style. But I guess I'd tell you to talk to him and find out what's going on so at least you know and you could stop thinking the worst."
"Well, there you go then. I mean..." Dom smirked. "You've got a key. It's not as if you even need his permission to go and talk to him. Or... you could turn up at the bar and talk to him while he's working."
I exhaled. "I suppose so."
Dom held up his phone as it beeped. "Tristan says yes to the dinner. He says to bring a..." His voice trailed off, his expression morphing into one of confusion.
"A what? I'm fine with bringing a gift."
"A pineapple." He shrugged.
"Why does he... never mind. I've got more important things to worry about than why your boyfriend's asking for tropical fruit. Like whether I can keep hold of mine long enough so it's not just me and the pineapple coming to dinner."
Dom glanced at his watch. I knew he had to be back early in order to prepare notes for John Stone's meeting that afternoon. "Maybe it's because you haven't told him that you love him yet."
"I also didn't tell you that."
He raised an eyebrow. "It's pretty damn obvious."
I wasn't going to deny it. "Then it should be obvious to him too."
"What about the thing with your parents? You know, the whole them thinking he's not good enough for you. It could be that."
I shook my head. "We sorted that out. I made it perfectly clear that I don't give a damn what they think."
"Have you heard from them?"
"No." It had been three weeks since I'd walked out on them and there hadn't been so much as a message from either of them. They were probably waiting for me to call and apologize for ruining their dinner. Well, they could keep waiting. It wasn't going to happen. My birthday was coming up in a couple of weeks. I guessed that would be the test. If I didn't hear from them then, then they were definitely pretending that I no longer existed. I shrugged. "It's fine. Nice and quiet actually. No nagging or loud disapproval."
Dom smiled before checking his watch again. I took the hint and stood. "Come on, Cinderella. Let's get you back to the office before John Stone turns into a pumpkin."
INDY SHOULD HAVE BEEN behind the bar. I'd decided on talking to him while he was at work, figuring it was a little less pushy. Only in order to do that, I needed him to be there and he wasn't. I signaled to the bartender who was there, waiting until he came over. "Hi. I was looking for Indy. He's meant to be working tonight?"
The guy shrugged his massive shoulders. He was another member of the Ben brigade. "Probably called in sick or something. No idea. Want a drink?"
I declined the offer, leaving the bar through the same door I'd come in through. There was no point in getting him to let me through the side door when I had a key to the one at the back. I walked around the building, using the key Indy had given me a few weeks before to unlock the door. At the top of the stairs I was left with a quandary. Did I let myself in? Or should I knock? Common sense dictated that if I wasn't imagining things and Indy really was avoiding me for whatever reason, then he wouldn't exactly be thrilled at my unexpected arrival. Strolling in there would only exacerbate that even more. I raised my hand and knocked.
Footsteps sounded and the door was slowly pulled open. Indy wore old sweats and no shirt, his hair mussed. He frowned. "What are you doing here? I told you I was busy."
I peered over his shoulder, trying to get a reading on what was going on. The television was on low, some sort of action film, going by the gunfire. A blanket was draped over the sofa next to the remains of a pizza still in the box. "You don't seem busy." Indy sighed, letting go of the door and taking a few steps backward. I took the opportunity to follow him in. "What's going on here?"
He gestured in the direction of the sofa and the TV. "Pizza and a film."
I had no idea whether he was being deliberately obtuse, or genuinely believed that's what I'd been asking. "I thought you were working tonight?"
He shrugged. This was like trying to get blood out of a stone. There was no option but to cut straight to the chase. "What's going on with us? All of a sudden, I can't seem to get a hold of you, and when I do, it's as if you don't even want to see me. That's why I came around to talk to you. Did I do something?"
Indy's gaze, which had been fixed on the floor at my feet, traveled slowly up my body until he made eye contact. "No, you didn't do anything. It's just..." His gaze only held mine for a few seconds before it skittered away again. The film had gone quiet, the only sound the slow bubble of the fish tank in the background.
"It's just what?"
He wrapped his arms around his chest, one hand reaching across to massage the opposite shoulder. "I thought it was what I wanted, but it's not."
Ice shards slowly wound themselves around my heart. He couldn't be saying what I thought he was saying. There was no way. "What do you mean?"
"You and me. Us. I don't want that anymore. I guess I hoped you'd take the hint rather than me having to spell it out."
I needed him to look at me, but his gaze seemed to be everywhere except on me. It was hard to know how I was supposed to feel; complete desolation was warring with a rising anger. My voice shook as I spoke. "What was this? A game? The thrill of the chase? And once you'd caught me, I became what? Boring? Is this how you get your kicks?"
He lifted his head and I prayed that denial was about to spill from his lips, that he'd laugh and tell me not to be ridiculous. Instead, he nodded. "That's exactly what it was."
I stared at him. I didn't even recognize the man who stood in front of me. The man who'd just broken my heart. He was like a complete stranger. I searched his face for telltale signs of the real Indy. But there was no amusement. No sparkle. Just an expression on his face that said he didn't want to talk to me. I turned on my heel and left, the door slamming shut in my wake.
Within a few seconds, I was at the bottom of the stairs. Instead of leaving, I sat down on the step, trying to wrap my head around what had just transpired. I needed to speak to someone, someone who might be able to explain how Indy could possibly have gone from the laughing, smiling joker he'd been the last time I'd seen him to the cold-eyed stranger who'd ended our relationship as if it was nothing.
I scanned through the contacts on my phone, discounting Russell immediately. Much as he'd be happy to listen, it was doubtful he'd provide much in the way of meaningful relationship advice. Dominic was the obvious choice, given I'd already shared my concerns with him earlier that day. I tried calling him twice. Both times it went straight to voicemail. No doubt he and Tristan were far too busy doing what brand-new couples should be doing to answer the phone. I didn't bother leaving a message. With no other option, I called Gabrielle.
The phone rang for so long that by the time she answered with a breathless hello, I'd already been contemplating who else I could call. "Am I interrupting something?"
She made a noise like a strangled chicken. "Not what you're probably thinking. Jeremy isn't even here. I thought I'd try yoga. It's surprisingly difficult. I've gained a great deal of empathy for pretzels. Next time I come across one, I'm not going to eat it. I'm going to untwist the poor thing and set it free."
I tried for a laugh. I really did, but the churning misery inside me meant it came out more like a sob.
"What's wrong?"
I didn't bother beating about the bush. "Indy just dumped me."
She gasped, which made me feel slightly better that someone else was as shocked as I was. "Why?"
"I don't know. He's been avoiding my calls for days and all his messages have been really vague. He's making out that it's all been some sort of twisted game he's been playing."
"And you don't believe him?"
I took a deep breath and forced myself to think back over the conversation. He hadn't actually said that though, had he? I'd suggested it and he'd seized on it eagerly. Realization hit. "No, I don't. He was talking absolute crap. He could barely look me in the eye. If it was true, he'd have taken some sort of sick satisfaction in it. He'd have been gloating. Plus, he's not that good an actor. Whatever the reason he's pushing me away, it's not because he doesn't like me, or that he's gotten bored of me. There's something else going on."
"Then I suggest..." Gabrielle paused, letting out a loud yawn. "...God, yoga's tiring. I'm not doing it again. What was I going to say? Oh, yeah, I suggest you get your ass back to wherever Indy is and find out what's really going on. Tell him to stop being a dick."
She was right. Or I was right. I wasn't sure which one of us had really gotten to the heart of the matter. But at the very least she'd been an excellent sounding board. And she'd answered the phone, which was more than I could say for Dominic. Actually, it was probably just as well. Given the way he'd dealt with his own relationship problems recently, his advice would probably have been to get drunk and try and forget about Indy. "Thanks, Gabrielle."
She gave a grunt and then hung up.
I put my phone away and eyed the stairs as if they were Mount Everest. Squaring my shoulders, I marched back to the top, not even hesitating before using the keys still in my hand to unlock the door and barge straight in. Indy was on the sofa, the blanket pulled over him, his eyes suspiciously red. I strode straight over there as Indy sat up, his expression midway between alarm and confusion. "You can't just come in here without permission."
I held the keys up in the air, letting them jangle together. "You gave me a key so I could do exactly that."
"That was before." Indy stood, his arm reaching out to try and take the keys from me.
I moved them farther away so he couldn't reach them. "They were my Christmas present. You're not taking them back. I can return a gift, but you can't take it back."
