Imperfect

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Imperfect Page 5

by Darci Darson


  “You are very important to me,” Rav said. Yasmeen was not sure if his voice had been coated with anger or nervousness. Throughout this whole conversation it was as if he struggled with talking to her, trying to sound like a human would but this was just above his Varuh abilities.

  “Thank you,” she hissed with sarcasm. “My parents will be very grateful for your efforts to keep me safe and away from... other men.”

  “It is a challenge to keep you safe,” Rav muttered with a hint of fury.

  She heard Ettrian’s suppressed laugh and turned her head away from Rav. Maybe he was right and she should control herself more, drink less alcohol, ask more questions. They had not talked since the feast. Yasmeen’s head wanted to explode from the excess of her emotions, the major part of them comprising her deep humiliation blended with total confusion as she had no idea of what had just happened between Rav and herself. A tiny comfort for her was that she seemed to be gifted enough to infuriate even a former Guardian, or angel, or Varuh as he called himself. She saw no difference.

  “I’m sorry,” Yasmeen murmured at last.

  “Why are you sorry?” Rav asked. “You expressed your thoughts.”

  “Whatever,” she said harshly.

  “Your Varuh will tell you who is for you.” Rav said. His voice was full of uncertainty and tinged with resentment. “Don’t... distract it,” he added with a pinch of anger.

  “Did your Varuh tell you this?” Yasmeen asked with anger.

  “Yes,” Rav answered coldly.

  Yasmeen froze. Rav might have had a girlfriend, or even a wife. Her heart fell apart. She reacted in her usual way when she did not understand things happening to her. She got even angrier.

  “It’s not your business, Rav,” she growled, ducking her head down between her knees. Her dad would have been proud of her. The truth was that she expected some... cultural differences between them both and had this vague impression that Rav had tried to tell her something important but this made everything even more annoying and complicated.

  And then there was an uncomfortable silence between them.

  The mist slithered forward like a snake and the trees got bigger and older, their trunks distorted and covered with purple and black moss. They were like ancient giants expecting a fearful respect. Yasmeen took a deep breath and it occurred to her that the air smelled like humid, oriental perfume. It was heavy and very warm, its scent intoxicating and disturbing as the surroundings got darker. She massaged her ears. It was as if the silence kept hurting them, ringing noiselessly like a warning of the upcoming threat. The road ended abruptly, replaced by a thick wall of dark, green foliage.

  “We have to go on foot now,” Rav said. The muscles of his jaw twitched. He was tensed and focused.

  “Is it dangerous?” Yasmeen asked, opening her eyes. She had pretended to have a sleep again, but her heart felt battered as if it had been trying to escape from her chest. She felt a sudden surge of uneasiness and fear urging her to go back.

  “I don’t know yet,” Rav said, jumping out of the wagon. “The Elves did not say a lot and Felicia knows very little as well.” He took one bag and placed it on his back, handing another bag to Yasmeen who had been hoping that he would carry everything by himself.

  Ettrian approached them and gave a long, ornate knife to Rav. The Elf spoke in his language and extended his arm towards Rav. Both men squeezed their elbows as if in a goodbye ritual.

  Yasmeen did not know what to think. She felt a rush of murky coldness going through her veins. Her mind was sharp and hyperaware and goosebumps popped up on her skin.

  Ettrian smiled to her and jumped back onto the wagon with his beautiful grace. He left after a few seconds. It was only Rav and her now. Kate had vanished into the woods; the cat appeared very independent to Yasmeen’s surprise. She watched Rav put the knife behind his wide, black belt. He rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt and pulled back the leaves like a curtain. The mist shot into the darkness, guiding them into the scary unknown.

  “Stay close,” Rav ordered.

  Yasmeen nodded. She would make sure that she would be a very good and obedient companion for him. Rav entered the darkness first as she hesitated a fraction of a second, but soon followed him closely.

  It was very dark and cold as if the temperature had dropped by ten degrees Celsius at least. They stopped at the beginning of an angular tunnel formed by the wild and primeval plants with dark green and brown leaves and flowers the size of a man’s hand, in burgundy and purple. There were also trees with distorted black and aubergine trunks that looked like they were suffering, mute and eternal. The white mist meandered along a thin stream filled with glassy, navy water, its corpse like glisten emitting just enough light to notice all the details of the surroundings that also included the soft carpet of varieties of moss, bending under their feet. As Yasmeen’s senses adjusted to the oddness of their current location she discovered that the tunnel contained a still silence interrupted by the occasional sounds of dripping water. The secrecy and reticence of that place exuded an odour like some eerie, oriental eternity.

  Yasmeen trembled. She was cold and morbidly scared.

  Chapter 8

  “Maybe we should go back with your Elf-friend, Rav,” Yasmeen whispered.

  “He is not my friend. The Elves don’t make friends with other races,” Rav said in an informative and neutral tone.

  “They love having fun, though,” Yasmeen said sarcastically, wondering why he had mentioned that.

  “They love having fun with human women,” Rav muttered.

  “There is nothing wrong with having fun, daddy,” she said realising that she had been mean to him for no reason, again. It was as if she wanted to use every opportunity to be mean to him. It was as if arguing with him was giving her a sense of connection with him.

  “Don’t call me that,” Rav growled and Yasmeen stepped back. “Iioliv is full of half human and half elf children abandoned by their elf parents. None of them are allowed to enter the Elves’ kingdom in the Alyssum Forest,” he added, shaking his head. “They are just children stripped off care and love of both parents.”

  “Why do the Elves abandon their children?”

  “Being half humans, they are mortal. They can’t cope with the life among the immortal Elves.”

  “But it must be difficult for the Elves as well, to watch their children die sooner or later.”

  “They love having fun but hate thinking about consequences.”

  “You are so perfect,” Yasmeen said with sarcasm.

  “I’m not perfect,” Rav responded with confusion. “I’m only Radveriel.”

  Yasmeen felt a squeeze of discomfort in her stomach, forgetting about her fear and doubts. In this moment, she could only focus on Rav and on how good, kind and honourable he was. There was this respect for him sprouting at the bottom of her heart and a sense of despair that she had lost him forever.

  With his perfect attitude, he must have regarded her as a shallow and immature human girl and she wanted him so desperately to look at her like a boy attracted to a girl. It did not matter whether he was engaged to somebody else. Her internal fire mattered. It was her burning hunger for him that sought satisfaction. Nothing else mattered.

  For a second, it had looked like he might even have been jealous but he was too perfect to feel such low emotions and she hoped that at least they would be good friends. Maybe she would somehow manage to visit him after her return home.

  He was her annoyingly perfect guardian and he was her parents’ best friend. And she just wanted to touch him and to be touched, her body aching with desire to sink into his arms, her unfulfilled hunger for him like a weight pressing down upon her chest. She did not care whether he was one hundred or a thousand years old. Gazing at him, she realised that he was the boy of her dreams. And this perfect boy grew apart from her with every minute. She would have accepted his blunt statements with her whole being. In fact, she perceived his honesty as a good character t
rait, having admired people who had had enough courage to speak in an open way for the majority of her life.

  “Are we going or not, you walking perfection?” Yasmeen asked, frightened with her unstoppable desire to make things between them even worse.

  “Mora might have useful information for us,” Rav said slowly and added, “I’ve never met such an irritating creature like you, Yasmeen. I’m trying to help you. The girls of my kind are very simple and straightforward. They can also be more grateful. You... you make me insane,” his voice was full of surprise, not irritation. “Maybe I shouldn’t expect you to be like me. You are who you are.” There was even more bewilderment in his voice.

  Yasmeen’s breath stopped in her throat. She wanted to burst into tears, but somehow managed to compose herself and save the last remnants of her dignity.

  “I’m worried about my dad and other...things,” she said in a timid voice. “Let’s go. We need this information.” She really meant it. The uncertainty about her dad’s fate jabbed her like a stubborn needle causing her gradually rising painful tension. She had previously pushed it away to sit with patience on the edge on her consciousness as other... complications fought for her attention.

  They resumed walking. Yasmeen could hear her feet trampling the moss. It was as if the sound was somehow distorted, or her senses were oddly hyperaware. The silence was tangible and threatening. After about fifteen minutes, Yasmeen gasped for air because her heavy bag hurt her shoulder and pulled her body downwards. She felt grateful that Felicia had packed it for her but there must have been far too much stuff inside. Her lungs expanded and she blinked.

  “Shit,” she said, coming to an abrupt stop.

  They were at the beginning of the leafy tunnel, on the side of Mora’s kingdom but the sudden increase in temperature was unexpected.

  “She is watching us,” Rav said.

  “Does she want to get rid of us?” Yasmeen questioned. “Maybe she is shy or something.”

  “I don’t think so. I can sense that she is intrigued and needs more time.”

  “How do you know this?”

  “She is whispering to me.” Rav said.

  “Creepy...” Yasmeen said.

  “We will rest here and when she is ready we will go on.” Rav deviated from the path and moved around the trees, looking for a suitable place to sit down. When he achieved his goal, he put his bag on the dark ground covered by dry grass of sliver and purple, with spots of moss-like tiny islands. Rav took out a blanket from his bag and spread it by the tree trunk. Yasmeen stood, enchanted, observing him and wondering whether or not to leave this place at once. However, when he rested, leaning against the creepy tree, Yasmeen joined him. Looking up, she could only see the thick firmament of leaves. They sat next to each other and Rav reached out into his bag for some food.

  “Felicia packed some food for you, too,” he said, eating a piece of brown bread.

  “I know,” Yasmeen said and dug her fingers into her bag. “She packed a lot of cosmetics, too.”

  Yasmeen ate her piece of bread and sipped her water from a small green bottle. When she finished, she found the fluid for her teeth at the bottom of her bag.

  “Now what?” she asked.”Are we brushing our teeth and going to bed?”

  Rav chuckled and gazed at her.

  “Have some rest and I will be on guard,” he said in a gentle voice.

  Yasmeen stood up and, as she moved around the small clearing among the trees, she rinsed her teeth with the miraculous fluid that made her mouth fresh and clean. Preoccupied with this, she spat out the mouthwash, almost choking as she happened to glance up at Rav at the moment.

  He had been gazing at her, with an honest smile curled upon his lips; his eyes filled with such a pure joy and amazement that something squeezed Yasmeen’s heart and she blushed. She returned to her seat and pulled her knees to her chest.

  “Get some rest,” Rav repeated.

  “What is this humming in my head,” Yasmeen said in an anxious voice as a flow of low, melodic sounds invaded her mind with its warm peace. It exuded the scent of lavender, the taste of camomile, and the warm feeling of listening to relaxing music blended together; very calming...

  “This is a Varuh thing,” Rav said. “For getting a good sleep.”

  “I don’t want to sleep.” Yasmeen said, irritated. In fact, she wanted to talk to Rav, to kiss and hug him. Instead, her eyelids grew heavy with the pleasant sensation of pure relaxation spreading across her body.

  “Why did we argue, Rav?” she asked with a sleepy voice, surprised with her boldness. The humming must have had the same effect on her control mechanism as the alcohol. Gazing at Rav, she saw his jaw muscles twitch and his eyebrows lift.

  “I know things that you don’t know or will never know,” he said in an uncertain voice. “You are not like me,” he added with a hint of sadness.

  “That’s not the answer. I hoped that you had been, you know,” she paused, before spitting the word ‘jealous’. The humming was like a truth serum and she started to be scared of what she would say. “No boy has ever been jealous of me.”

  Rav fixed his eyes on hers.

  “What is this ‘jealousy’?” he asked. “I’ve never experienced this emotion in my life.”

  “It’s when, you know, when you like a girl and don’t like anybody to touch her apart from you.”

  He contemplated something for a moment.

  “Did I hurt your feelings before?” he asked, changing the topic.

  “It was very blunt but worth considering.”

  “I am different when you are around me, Yasmeen. I am... insane and my mind is hazy.”

  “I’ve noticed that I can make you really nervous.”

  “And I can see that you are worried about something like you were worried in Felicia’s castle. You should have told me about your worries,” he added with a slight reproach.”I want to help you. Why are you angry? Why are you angry with me?”

  “It’s complicated,” she said and prayed silently for the strange discussion to end before she disclosed more embarrassing details of her personality.

  “Go have some rest,” he repeated once more. “I will look after you.”

  Yasmeen closed her eyes and let the humming fill her head entirely, before she departed into a warm peaceful sleep.

  Yasmeen woke up with a start as Rav shook her arm. She rubbed her eyes and realised that she had slept in Rav’s embrace. This was really awkward and so pleasant. She got up in an abrupt movement as if scalded by boiling water, her mind still conscious of the hardness of his body and the sweetness of his seductive aura, and packed her blanket, glancing as Rav gathered his belongings as well.

  “How long did I sleep?” she asked, primping her hair.

  “In your world it would be about two hours,” Rav said.

  “Thank you for watching me,” she said and dropped her eyes as his smile made her feel uncomfortable.

  “Mora is ready to see us,” Rav said. “Stay close. She is odd. She is... childish.”

  “Ok,” Yasmeen murmured as they moved towards the main passageway of the continuous leafy tunnel.

  After about half an hour, the tunnel opened into a cave, this time with an angled ceiling created by luxuriant foliage. There was a pond, interrupted by a large square centrepiece made of white stone, being fed by the small burbling stream. Seated among some ancient ornately carved wooden dividers the color of fresh snow sat a slim girl, her burgundy, long hair falling loosely and covering her back like a cape. Yasmeen’s instinct knew that it was Mora. Her grey eyes which were filled with dark mystery and curiosity, studied them as they approached her. Her delicate pointed ears indicated that she was of Elfish origins. The white mist gathered at her feet, illuminating her body like a marble statue. The subtle beauty of her appearance fused with the ancient murkiness of her glance, forming a breathtaking and disturbing impression. She gestured for them to come closer.

  The wide streaks of the mist slithered
over the smooth surface of the water. Rav and Yasmeen moved towards a narrow stone bridge connecting the tunnel and the platform. As they passed it, they left their bags at its highest point.

  Mora stood up and waited, beaming, her expression full of joy. She wore a long gown that was white and sparkly like diamonds. It embraced her body with a high vampire collar and balloon net sleeves, its hem widening and cascading down to the ground. The gown waved and twirled with Mora’s every move, like the sky liberating quiet and peaceful floating snowflakes.

  Rav and Yasmeen walked onto the platform, stopping two steps away from their strange host. Mora folded her hands as if praying.

  “Guests at last, I’ve been so lonely. You will entertain me,” she said in plain English. Her voice was silvery yet authoritative, her laugh clear and threatening, perfect like pure crystals. “I’m the last of my kind. There are no more Moras in Iioliv. I’m lonely and forgotten,” she complained. “We will play hide and seek!”

  Yasmeen shuddered. She felt chills going down her spine.

  Mora raised her hand and made a sweeping gesture. Yasmeen watched the white mist as it enveloped her body like a blanket. She sighed, startled and rooted to the spot, her arms jerking but a few seconds later, the mist started to vanish, revealing a gradual outline as it receded like a low tide, a gown covering her body with its perfect glitter and beauty just like the one worn by Mora. The elf girl materialised a silver long mirror with a similar sweeping movement so that Yasmeen could admire her reflection. She could feel the bodice stiffened with bents and the tight corset underneath as it slightly restrained her breathing. She stared at her reflection in the mirror for a while, delighted with her perfect smoky eyes make up and the shimmering moist of her berry lips. She looked devilishly modest, her skin fresh and soft as if she had just finished a bath in the water enriched with some precious herbal essences. She glanced at Rav. His clothes had also been replaced in a similar way by a crisp white shirt and elegant black trousers. He looked astonished but his muscles were tensed up.

 

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