That’s my duty as godfather.
Before I’m able to tap a response, another text comes through.
Sugar: Nick wanted to remind you to bring the pies.
Shaking my head, I quickly tap out a response.
Me: Yeah, I’m sure the toothless wonder is really concerned.
Sugar: Fine, Scarlett made me promise to text you when I got up with him. She misses Vera and The Mess Hall. Her pie is the next best thing.
I can’t blame her; Vera not only makes amazing pies, she runs the diner in town affectionately named The Mess Hall as a nod to not only the local ranchers but also the large population of military families in the area. I’ve seen Scarlett’s love of Vera’s pies and planned ahead by ordering a few extra to pick up this morning. Confirming I’ll send Scarlett a picture of her precious pies before I leave town, I drop my phone back on the dresser and make my way to the bathroom to finish my routine.
Gone is the longing for a family, replaced is a sense of gratitude that Taylor and Scarlett have found each other. After Scarlett’s husband and Taylor’s best friend, Henry, passed away tragically, I worried she would have to raise her unborn child alone. Well, not really alone because she had me and Twig here to help her, but still, without a partner. Then, as if it was always meant to be, Taylor, who I still call by his old Army nickname Sugar to annoy him, and Scarlett fell in love. She left our small town to join him in Lexington, and they’re currently planning a wedding. Shortly after her move, Connor, or Twig as we call him, followed and began working at Taylor’s bar, Country Road.
That left me all alone. Again. Sure, they’ve asked me to join them, be part of their family. Something has kept me from taking the leap, but I don’t know why. Nothing keeps me here. Maybe Vera’s pie. Unless Lexington has a great pecan pie, it may be enough to keep me in Fayhill.
With the pies secure in the passenger seat of my SUV, I snap a quick picture and send it to Scarlett. Her response is nothing but heart emojis, which make me laugh. Some days I wonder if she could have an entire texting conversation with emojis and GIFs. Come to think of it, I think she has.
Pulling away from the curb in front of The Mess Hall, I head across town to the local retirement community. I started spending my time with the local residents of Sunny Hills Retirement Community shortly after I arrived in town. I needed a way to fill my days and began volunteering with some local veterans’ organizations. It became apparent that many of the men and women who had served long before I contemplated my own enlistment were now living their final days alone. Truthfully, since Scarlett and Connor moved, my time at Sunny Hills has been the highlight of my week.
Turning into the parking lot, I note the only cars are in the designated staff spots. It’s still early so I won’t have an opportunity to say hi to any of the residents. That’s probably not a bad thing. Knowing how they work, I’d find myself roped into a game of chess and lose track of time.
Grabbing one of the pies from the stack, I exit my SUV and make my way to the entrance. Waving hello to the young receptionist, I turn down the hall toward the staff lounge. Knocking on the door so not to startle the nurses standing at the counter, I smile as they both turn to face my direction.
“Grant, I didn’t expect to see you here today.”
“Morning, Leslie. Teri,” I acknowledge before setting the box on the round table in the center of the room. “I’m heading out of town but wanted to drop this off for y’all. I know it won’t make up for the time with family you’re missing but it can’t hurt.” I shrug.
“Oh! Pie. Grant, you are a good man. I’ll never understand how some lucky lady hasn’t snatched you up yet. Thank you,” Teri says with a smile as she sneaks a peek under the lid of the box.
“She’s right, Grant. You need to let me fix you up. I told you about my sister. She’s a pain in my ass but she’s great.”
Laughing, I shake my head and slip my hands in my pockets before saying, “I appreciate the offer but I’m going to decline.” Leslie barks out a laugh while Teri’s is muffled with her finger in her mouth. I raise a brow at her, knowing she’s sampling the pie. “I should get going, I have a long drive ahead of me. Be nice to any new residents while I’m gone. Y’all have a very Merry Christmas.”
Turning on my heel, I hightail it out of the room before either lady can offer another family member as my possible one true love. Another downside of being a single man in a small town. Everyone assumes you need to be set up on dates. I’ve never been much for the dating scene and blind dates sound about as much fun as a root canal.
Once I’m behind the wheel with the engine started, I settle in for a long drive to Lexington where I’ll spend the next week with my friends and give my godson the best first Christmas of any little kid around.
Chapter 2
Grant
The drive from Fayhill to Lexington took longer than expected. Road construction, a rogue armadillo, and a pit stop at the famous convenience store and gas station for a fill-up both in snacks and gas has me pulling into the Country Road parking lot hours later than anticipated. I was surprised when Taylor called and told me to meet him here instead of his house but then again, this place is his second home.
If anyone would have told me when I met Taylor “Sugar” Cain that one day he would be a successful bar owner in small town Texas, I would have called their bluff. I thought for sure he would be a career military man. Honor and commitment are ingrained in him but, like me, he saw and did more than he could have imagined and took the out when it came. Unfortunately for him, part of that left his body and soul battered.
I truly believe stumbling across not only this town but also the bar saved him in more ways than one. Over time, he built a life for himself. Good friends and eventually even his sister and nephew moved to town. When he and Scarlett found each other, his world became complete.
Killing the engine, I sit and stare at the sign above the building. Could I do the same thing? Build a life like he did and push aside all the chaos in my head? Connor seems determined to fall in his path, taking on a bartender position with the promise of more responsibility down the road. Lone rangers, each of us, we’ve always had each other’s backs. As the oldest and unit captain, I helped mold the once mouthy and scrawny boys into the men they’ve become. Maybe it’s time I take a cue from them and do something to propel my own life forward.
The fact that I’m probably facing some sort of midlife crisis isn’t lost on me. Chuckling to myself, I open the door and slip out, closing the driver’s door behind me. Looking back at my black SUV, I’m glad I’m having some sort of internal and emotional crisis instead of the stereotypical bright red sports car and twenty-something girlfriend. I don’t think I could keep up with either.
Approaching the front of the building, I spy a pair of large wreaths adorning the double wooden doors. Multi-colored Christmas lights blink across the doorway. I can’t imagine that’s fun when someone’s had a little too much to drink. The festive holiday décor continues as I enter the bar. Country music pulses from the speakers and the low roar of laughter and shouting fills the space.
I pull my phone from my pocket and shoot off a text to Taylor, letting him know I’ve arrived before making my way across the room to the bar. Spotting Connor, I nod my head in his direction when he sees me. Of course, he’s leaning on the bar, offering a smirk and a wink to a pair of those aforementioned twenty-somethings before making his way my direction.
“Cap, you made it!”
Bumping knuckles, I open my mouth to respond when Taylor appears behind him, Nick strapped to the front of him. He looks like that guy from those Hangover movies except his beard isn’t nearly as scruffy and Nick isn’t wearing sunglasses.
“Sugar, why do you have my godson in a bar?”
“Scarlett has a girl’s night, one of those wine and paint things. I don’t know much more except she’ll start sending me weird texts in the next few hours and a cab will drop her off. So, this guy and I are hav
ing a father-son night and getting the final orders submitted before the holiday. Plus, he likes it here, don’t ya, buddy? I think it’s the music. He’s always bouncing and squealing.”
He no sooner finishes his sentence and the baby starts doing just that. Truthfully, the way the women at the bar are cooing, I’m surprised Connor hasn’t offered to carry around the kid himself. I guess babies really are chick magnets.
“Get you a beer, Cap?” Connor asks and I glare at him. “Sorry, Grant. I try, I swear, but you were Cap a lot longer than you’ve been Grant.”
“What’s our plan, Sugar?” I ask, recognizing the hypocrisy of wanting to be called by my name and not my nickname when I do the same thing. But the way Taylor groans and blushes when the women at the bar giggle and shout “Sugar” is too fun.
“You’re a dick,” he says with a glare.
“I am.”
“As long as you’re aware. You’re welcome to hang out. I need to get this guy home, though.”
Connor holds up an empty pint glass to see if I’m up for a beer, but I shake my head. What I could really go for is a hot shower.
“I’m all set, meet you at my house?” Taylor asks.
“Right behind you.”
Bumping knuckles with Connor again, I make my way to the front door and back to my SUV. Once Taylor passes me in his truck, I pull out of my spot and follow him to his house. I remember when he first purchased his home and what a mess it was. He’s put hundreds of hours of work into the property and it shows. Now that Scarlett and Nicholas are with him, he’s finished the last bit of renovations. Turning down a dark road, we’re guided only by the bright moon. There’s something peaceful about this area.
The homes are far enough apart that privacy isn’t an issue. Each parcel is flocked with large trees and greenery as far as you can see. White dots in the distance are the only indication neighbors exist. Yet, they’re close enough in an emergency and hold that sense of community you’d expect from a small town.
Turning into the driveway, I pull to the side of the garage and put the car in park. The quiet is overwhelming as I step onto the gravel. That is until Taylor’s door opens and his loud laugh is amplified by the silence. Making quick time of it, he opens the back door of the truck and pulls Nick out of his seat. His baby’s laughs almost match that of his father’s as I pop open the back hatch of the SUV and grab my bag.
Rounding the back of the SUV, I shout, “What has you two laughing?”
“Your godson may need you to change his diaper if the sounds he was making in the backseat are any indication.”
“Sounds like a personal problem, Dad,” I tease as I clamp a hand on his shoulder and follow him into the house.
“I change plenty of diapers. We’ll consider this a bonding adventure for you and the godson you plan to spoil rotten this Christmas.”
He’s got me there. Tossing my bag on the floor, I hold my hands out for the drooling baby. Handing him over without argument, Taylor points to a basket on the floor and I spy the supplies I’ll need for the task at hand.
“Make yourself useful,” I begin as I kneel on the floor, “and go grab those pies out of the front seat of my rig while Nick and I have a talk about advanced potty training.”
Barking out a laugh, Taylor heads out the door to my SUV and I perform one of the grossest experiences of my life. Whose idea was it for babies to wear diapers anyway?
“What is that noise?” I ask Taylor as he starts to rise from the couch.
“That would be my future bride.”
Shaking my head, I take a pull from my beer and stand to see if he’ll need some help. As I approach the front door, I can’t help but smile at the scene in front of me. With her coat hanging by one arm and purse flopping around by its strap, Scarlett is spinning in a circle giggling.
“Babe, let me help you.”
“K. Oh wait! I need to say bye to Dakota. She’s so nice. I really like her. We’re alike. You know?”
“Yeah, Red, I know. Wave goodbye,” he says as he grabs her purse and snatches the coat sleeve, tugging it from her body as she rushes to the open door and flings her arms in the air at what I assume is an attempt at goodbye.
Giggling, she turns to face Taylor but the moment she catches sight of me, the giggles morph into a loud shriek. Rushing to me, she smashes into me like a linebacker and throws herself in my arms. For someone so little, she sure is strong, her actions knocking the breath out of me.
“You’re here. I’m so happy. I miss you.”
With a squeeze I reply, “Me too, Red. Seems like maybe you did more wining than painting tonight.”
A loud snort escapes her as she steps back and looks up at me. Glossy eyes and a huge smile on her face, she’s never looked happier. I tap the tip of her nose just as she lets out a large yawn.
“I’m sleepy. Is Nick sleeping? Should I check on him?”
“He’s fine. Let’s get you to bed.”
“Why Taylor Cain, are you flirting with me with Grant standing right here? Scandalous!”
Instead of responding, Taylor turns her toward the hallway and shouts a “goodnight” before disappearing into their room. The house is quiet except the sounds coming from the television. Going through the rooms, I turn off the lights and settle back on the couch. With only the glow of the Christmas tree lights, I turn my attention back to the television and realize maybe the silence of the night is just as lonely as the pre-dawn.
Chapter 3
Dakota
Have kids they said. It’ll be fun they said.
I’d like to find whomever “they” are and let them have my beautiful angels for a solid twelve hours. Without naps and on Christmas. I love my children. They are the greatest blessings in my life. I wouldn’t be who I am without them. That’s what I keep reminding myself as I stand before the bathroom mirror with little fingers peeking beneath the locked door.
Squirting the finishing oil into my palm, I rub my hands together and lightly run my hands over my freshly cut bob. Or “lob” as I think it’s called. Whatever it is, I’m currently sporting about nine inches less hair than I had a week ago. When I stepped into the salon for a simple trim, I didn’t plan on transforming my appearance, but that’s what I’ve done.
Gone is the straight long golden-blonde hair I’ve worn for years, and in its place is a color that looks like it’s been kissed by the sun for weeks while the tresses just brush the top of my shoulders. My new stylist, Charisse, insisted it was fun, sassy, and flirty. I don’t know if I need more sass in my life, but fun is definitely something I’m lacking. I suppose the flirty part will come into play at some point. I’m just not sure that point is today. Or anytime soon.
“Moooommmm! Cali is licking the floor again!”
Taking a deep breath before releasing it slowly, I ignore the tattletale on the other side of the locked door and begin tossing my products and tools into their resting place. “They’re your children, Dakota. There’s nothing to fear. Be the parent. Stand strong. They will not break you.”
Dramatic? Probably. Necessary? Absolutely.
Life as a single mom to a toddler and six-year-old is dramatic most days. My girls are either the best of friends or mortal enemies. There’s rarely anything in between. Well, unless my sister or her boyfriend is here. It’s like those two have a magic spell on my children and they are polite and sweet.
“Oh, Jeff. How I wish you were here.”
A sense of longing and sadness washes over me. It isn’t debilitating like it was a few years ago, but every so often, like on a holiday, the feeling passes through my mind and my heart when I least expect it. Losing my husband and everything I faced in the two years after isn’t something I like to think about, the emotions it draws out in me only take me to a dark place. Or did. I’ve done the work. I’ve come out on the other side, and I refuse to do anything to take me back to that place.
Regardless, loneliness and sadness is part of my life now. I miss my husband. I sti
ll love my husband. I hate that he has missed so many moments with our daughters. Today, when we gather with friends and family to celebrate Christmas, his presence will be there, and they’ll be none the wiser. But I’ll know and I like to think both Arizona and Cali will feel him too.
Ari has memories of her father, but often I wonder how many of her memories are hers and how many simply something she’s created from stories she’s heard. Many nights, her bedtime stories are of a prince and a princess. A love story based on her very own parents. I can’t help it. Jeff was my everything, and then one night he was gone. Every moment I planned, every dream we shared vanished.
Ignoring the way my nose burns and my throat dries with the threat of tears, I inhale and close my eyes.
One . . .
Two . . .
Breathe . . .
One . . .
Two . . .
Breathe . . .
My heart rate slows, and the burning is gone. Flipping the lock on the door, I grip the handle and plaster a smile on my face before the scene in front of me sends me into a fit of laughter. On her hands and knees, Cali is panting like a dog while her sister stands next to her, hands on her hips and a scowl on her face.
“Well hello, little puppy. Ari, stop giving your sister the stink eye. You know Santa watches all year long.” The warning is all she needs before she schools her expression and drops her hands.
“Mom, is it time to go to Auntie Minnie’s house? I want to see if Santa ate the cookies we made for him.” Her little six-year-old mind jumps into today’s plans so quickly, my head spins.
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