by G. K. Parks
“Our history is extremely complex. He was my first private sector gig. We weren’t dating at the time. I’m not even sure we were friends. Shit went sideways.” I blinked, hearing my voice hitch. “A group of mercenaries was hired to kill him. It was just the two of us against four heavily armed men. One of them snuck up on us, and Martin pushed me out of the way. He nearly bled out.” I fought to keep my voice from shaking, knowing that the exhaustion had heightened my emotional state. With my luck, Decker would use it as fodder for demonstrating how unbalanced I was. “It’s so stupid. I was past this for a long time. We didn’t even really start dating until I made peace with it, and now all I can think about is that if someone tries to hurt him, I won’t be there this time. And I keep having these fucking dreams about it, reminding me how badly I’ve screwed up.”
“That’s what you keep dreaming?”
“Yep.”
The analysis went through his mind, playing across his eyes with more pity and sadness than I ever wanted to see. “What are you doing about it?”
I shrugged. There wasn’t anything I could do. It was just how things were.
“Yeah, that’s not gonna work,” Decker muttered. “You have to get over this. Your focus needs to be here, not back home.”
“I’m not compromised. When I’m inside that house, I am Alice. My subconscious just hasn’t gotten the memo yet, and I can’t control that.” Deciding that I was done talking, I headed back to the bedroom. I needed to sleep, and if Decker continued to be a pain in my ass, I’d barricade the door to keep him out. I had just gotten into bed when the mattress dipped down beside me. Opening one eye, I glared at his presence. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Keeping you company.”
“I can assure you that you won’t be getting lucky tonight or any night. Ever.”
He smiled. “Good. Then we’re on the same page.” He closed his eyes. “Damn, I really missed this bed.”
* * *
Our morning routine continued as if nothing had happened a few hours earlier. Decker was working out in the main room when I padded into the kitchen in search of coffee. Of course, there was none to be found, and I glared at the box of tea like it was personally responsible for eliminating all coffee from the planet. Settling on juice and some leftover stew from a couple nights ago, I took a seat at the table and watched Decker do a few dozen burpees, adding an extra jumping jack at the height of it just to make life interesting. When he was finished, he slurped down a few gulps of his morning smoothie and took off his sweaty shirt.
“Impressed?” he teased, tossing that surfer boy grin my way.
“I’ve seen better.”
He pointed to the littering of red across his right pec. “I caught shrapnel from a frag grenade on a particularly dicey raid of a cartel stronghold. I was so close to the impact that some of the pieces went through my vest.” He sighed. “You should see my leg.”
“Did I ask?”
“No, but it’s about time I share some of my history with you.” He held the smile a few seconds longer before succumbing to my morning grumpiness. “Whether you like it or not, I need you to be completely focused. That includes your subconscious, so we aren’t done talking about things. You need to accept it.”
Ignoring my death stare, he grabbed a change of clothes and headed into the bathroom. In fifteen minutes, we’d be on our way to Tim’s morning tranquility session, and I was anything but tranquil. Compartmentalizing my problems, I allowed my thoughts to return to Anika. I had no idea what she wanted to show me, but I needed to be prepared for anything. For all I knew, it could be a head in a box or a brick of coke. Checking my secondary phone, I didn’t have any messages from the team, so they hadn’t made any more progress in the last ten hours.
“Jace,” I turned to watch him run a towel through his wet hair and shake his head like a dog, “what’s the play? Are you going to keep Tim occupied?”
“The farmer’s market should do that, but I’ll stick close to him. Do you have any idea where Anika will be?”
“She didn’t share much. She just said she’d see me tomorrow.” I gave him a look. “Please tell me that you watched the feed last night after I fell asleep.”
He nodded. “Everything was quiet.” He checked his watch. “We should get going. Enable your phone’s GPS tracking, and I’ll keep mine on vibrate. Text a 911 if you run into trouble.”
After agreeing, we headed into the main facility and endured another half hour of Tim’s lecturing, followed by Abner sharing his story of how his inner turmoil led to drugs and ultimately drove his wife away. Now he had found inner peace or some sanctimonious garbage and realized that he had been responsible all along for his own serenity. There was some discussion afterward, but I didn’t really pay much attention. My eyes had been searching through the group for Anika. She wasn’t in her normal spot or hiding in the back of the room. Perhaps she slept in or was making certain that all the stands were set for when the gates opened in twenty minutes.
As soon as Tim dismissed us, I grabbed Jace’s elbow. “I don’t see her. She didn’t come to the morning session. Has she ever missed before?”
He shrugged. “Not that I remember, but it seems like there’s always one or two missing for the day. So maybe. Do you want to ask Tim?”
“No. I’m going to check the dorms in case she’s in her room. If you see her outside, let me know.”
He nodded. “I’ll help Tim set up and welcome our customers,” he said at a normal volume so the others wouldn’t think anything of our whispered exchange. “You should probably continue to take it easy. Do what you can, and come find me when you’re ready. I’m sure we’ll find someplace that you can help out and also keep from aggravating that ankle.” He kissed my forehead and called to Tim.
Ducking into the cafeteria, I grabbed a piece of fruit from the basket and took a seat at the table. It was best to maintain the appearance of partaking in normal functions, despite the fact that I hadn’t eaten anything from the kitchen since the incident. As soon as the bulk of the Perpetual Lighters cleared out, I got up and went down the hallway toward the dormitories. Even though I no longer resided here, my presence wouldn’t seem suspicious.
Knocking on Anika’s door, I waited, hoping she would answer. When she didn’t, I knocked again, calling to her. Still nothing. “Anika,” I asked, turning the knob and pushing the door open a few inches, “are you in here?”
The bed was neatly made, and her belongings remained. Okay, so she wasn’t in her room. Maybe she’d snuck out before we got here or during the morning session. After checking the communal bathroom and showers, I gave the kitchen and dining hall another look and checked out the multipurpose rooms in case she was conducting her own private impromptu yoga or pilates class, but I didn’t spot her. In fact, I didn’t spot anyone. The building had practically become a ghost town, and I fought my instinct to investigate for useful evidence. Instead, I went outside and across the grounds toward the stalls and tables. Anika said she would meet me here; I was probably just being impatient thinking that I’d get a chance to speak to her inside while everyone else was busy outside.
From the inside looking out, the farmer’s market appeared much smaller and less intimidating than it did when I was still being courted to join the cult. There were a dozen and a half stands. Several sold produce, herbs, and the honey that the beekeepers harvested. Another six stands sold various baked goods, beverages, and snacks. Several tables and chairs were scattered around for guests to sit and enjoy the sights and sounds while being brainwashed into thinking that this was a magical, safe place. The other stands had various crafts and handmade items. It was all rather quaint and rustic.
Meandering through the small crowd that had already gathered, I went from stall to stall in search of Anika. She wanted to show me something. That meant it had to be small enough for her to carry and conceal, or it was already out here. Somewhere. My gaze shifted to the fields. The entire property was roughly f
our acres, but with the various buildings and trailers, a lot of the space was already being utilized. The greenery was sectioned off into different gardens. Glancing around, it occurred to me that I hadn’t explored very much since my initial arrival.
The trailers were obvious. There were six in total. Each occupied by either one of the male followers or a couple. Briefly, I wondered if we’d need separate warrants for each unit since they were being used as primary residences for the occupants. The legal part of my brain already knew the answer, and I decided that whatever Tim had to hide more than likely wouldn’t be inside any of them. The main facility took up the bulk of the property, but there were three other reasonably sized buildings and two other structures. Dammit, why the hell didn’t Jace and I ever talk about this?
“Good morning, Alex,” Sarah cooed from behind. “In the event you’re having a blonde moment, the farmer’s market is behind you.” She laughed, enjoying her own joke.
I spun, plastering a smile on my face. “Have Jace’s highlights started to rub off on me? I accused him of using lemon juice, but he insists they’re natural. Let’s hope they aren’t catching.”
She giggled. “No, I was just kidding. What are you looking at?”
“Have you seen Anika? We made plans to hang out together and help out, but I haven’t seen her this morning. I figured she must have come out here to get a head start and is probably wondering where I am. I don’t want her to think that I flaked on her.”
Sarah’s smile dropped, and she bit her lip. “I don’t know where she is. I haven’t seen her today. Did you check her room?”
“She wasn’t there.”
“Hmm, that’s weird.” Sarah turned around, surveying the crowd. “There’s Tim. Let’s go ask him. I bet he knows.” Grabbing my hand, she pulled me through the group toward the corner where Tim and Jace were moving some tables and chairs underneath a canopy. “Hey, Tim, do you know where Anika is?”
Tim turned, his eyes settling on me. For a split second, his expression was cold and angry. “She left.”
“When will she be back?” I asked.
Tim inhaled slowly, forcing a sad smile on his face. “She won’t be back. She decided that she learned all she could from being here and wanted to go home and face her demons.” He cast his eyes downward. “I’m sorry to tell you this. I was going to make an announcement at evening meals so I wouldn’t spoil everyone’s day. She asked me to say goodbye for her because she feared it’d be too painful.”
“But I was just in her room. I could have sworn that her belongings were still there,” I insisted.
“You must be mistaken,” Tim replied. “She left early this morning. I drove her to the bus station myself. I’m sorry. I know you were close.”
“We were all close,” Sarah whispered. “She should have given us the chance to say goodbye.”
Tim offered some empty platitudes and encouraging words, but I couldn’t help but shake the feeling that he had done something to her. He must have known she was on to him, and he silenced her before she could talk. That might also mean that he would be suspicious of me since I might have been the last person to speak to her.
“If you’ll excuse me, I just need some time alone to process this.” I made my voice quake as if I were overcome with news of her departure. Stepping away, I went back to the facility, determined to find something pertinent in her room before Tim had the chance to erase her presence completely.
Twenty-five
Entering Anika’s room, I resisted the urge to acknowledge the fiber optic cable hanging in the carved out hole in the ceiling tile. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Tim would watch the footage later, and I couldn’t afford to be compromised. Dammit, Anika, why the hell couldn’t you have talked to me yesterday? Pressing my lips together, I didn’t want to think that she was dead. Maybe there was a chance she escaped. Maybe she did go home.
Scoffing at the notion, I kept my face turned away from the camera and threw myself onto her bed. Sweeping my arms beneath her pillow and burying my face in it, I pretended to sob while feeling around for any hidden items. There was nothing under the pillow or between the mattress and headboard. Counting to a hundred, I slowly sat up, wiping at the nonexistent tears.
Keeping my face down, I got off the bed, smoothed the covers, and made hospital corners in order to check beneath the mattress. After tidying up, I went to the dresser and picked up the random knickknacks that had been left behind. She didn’t have any real personal effects on display, but I didn’t think she’d leave without her belongings. Her toiletries and shower caddy were on top of the dresser, and the drawers contained her clothing.
I wasn’t sure how to nonchalantly search through the drawers, so I didn’t even bother to conceal what I was doing. In the bottom drawer, I found a creased and folded photograph. A couple of women were in the picture with Anika, but before I could analyze the photo, someone cleared his throat.
Tucking the picture into my pocket, I didn’t turn around immediately, hoping to force some tears to my eyes. I wasn’t an actress by any stretch of the imagination. But my sadness did come in handy, and when I turned, my eyes were wet. Tim was in the doorway of the room, watching me curiously.
“I told you her things were still here. Every drawer is filled with clothing and towels.” I stood, picking up a tube of face lotion. “Why didn’t she take any of it with her? How could she just leave without saying anything? We had plans.” I stared up at Tim. “I thought she was my friend.”
He nodded, holding out his arms. “I’m sorry, Alex. I know it hurts when people leave, but we should be happy for her. She came here to grow as a person, and she did. That’s how she found her inner strength and why she wanted to return home. It was time.” He hugged me against his chest while I resisted the urge to pull the dagger and gut the bastard where he stood. Real tears fueled by rage came to my eyes at the thought that within the last twelve hours he had probably murdered her. How many people was he responsible for killing? My body tensed, but he held firm. “It’s okay. You can let it out.”
“I’m angry,” I growled, “and I know I shouldn’t be.” Anger wouldn’t bring me any closer to arresting this asshole, but it was a real emotion and one that was easier to play off. Pushing away from him, I squeezed the bridge of my nose. “This just caught me by surprise. Why didn’t she say anything yesterday?” I searched his face, hoping to see the slightest hint of fear or worry, but there was nothing. “Is this my fault?”
“Why would you say that?” Tim asked, taking a seat on the bed.
“Yesterday, I asked her if she wanted to grab a cup of tea from one of the local cafes. It was as if the thought of leaving had never occurred to her, and I just kept going on about cookies.”
He attempted to stifle a laugh, as if dealing with a precocious toddler. “I’m sure she didn’t decide to leave the commune to indulge in limitless cookies.” Abruptly standing, he ushered me out of the room, placing a guiding hand against my back. “However, it’s clear from your mood that you are in need of some baked goods. We have chai lattes at one of the stands and some strawberry scones hot out of the oven. Go outside and join the others. It’ll make you feel better to be around people.”
“Yeah, until they decide to abandon me too.” That played along with Alice’s issues. Unfortunately, Alex could also relate.
“Jace is outside. If anything, you can be certain that he won’t abandon you. And you know that I never would.”
“Why not?”
He gave me a quizzical look as if the notion was blasphemous. “You are my responsibility. I’m here to guide and protect you. And Jace is my most loyal follower. He would never act against my wishes or the mission of this church.”
Cracking a small smile, I nodded. Caesar never expected Brutus to betray him either, but eventually, March would roll around. And just like Caesar, Wilde’s empire would crash and burn around him.
Once outside, I felt as though every follower was watching me, ex
pecting some type of insane reaction. Sarah was hunkered down behind one of the stands, bawling her eyes out, and I realized that the news had already spread. No wonder everyone was awaiting my reaction. Keeping my head down, I moved toward one of the refreshment stands, feeling Tim’s presence at my back.
“Hey,” Decker bounded up to me, “are you okay?” His eyes darted to someone else, and I knew Tim was within earshot.
Snorting, I pushed him away. “Anika left. It just sucks that she didn’t even say goodbye. She left everything in her room, like she was in a hurry.” I didn’t have to say any more; he got the point. “But I’m determined to make today a good day.”
“Here.” Tim held out a cup of tea and a napkin with a scone.
Taking it, I smiled at him. “Thanks. I’ll go grab my purse and pay for this.”
“Nonsense.” He shook the sentiment away. “It’s the least I can do. After all, had I realized how upset you’d be, I would have tried harder to convince Anika to say her farewells.”
My gaze moved toward Sarah’s last position. “Actually, I know someone who could use this more than I can. Excuse me.” Setting out toward the stand, I was glad to have found a reason not to eat the offered snack. Frankly, it was insulting that Tim thought he could distract or cheer me up with food.
Taking a seat beside Sarah, I put the napkin and cup down beside her. “Tim thought it might help,” I said lamely, “but I think it’d be best if we talk about things. Did you know she wanted to leave?”
Sarah shook her head.
“How long has she been here?”
“Three or four months. She was our newest addition before you.” Sarah dabbed at her eyes. “I’m happy for her, but it makes no sense. She never mentioned wanting to leave. She always stayed here. She didn’t have a job, and since everything was provided for, she didn’t venture off the grounds. She was happy here. At least I thought she was.”
“How’d she find her way to Tim?”
