by Nina Levine
Fuck.
I shoved my chair back and stood. Looking down at her, I said, “We’re leaving.”
Her eyes turned frantic and she madly shook her head. “No . . . I can’t leave . . . where will I go?” Tears began falling again, and I moved to her so I could place my hand on her shoulder.
I squatted so I was at her eye level. “Annie,” I said in a gentle tone, “you can stay with me. I will look after you and help you get back on your feet.” I should have made her come live with me years ago, but I was always focused on helping her gain independence. What I should have focused on was getting her mind to a good place before sending her out into the world on her own. I’d do that this time. She needed to see a psychologist to begin working through the shit weighing her down.
She didn’t seem convinced, but nevertheless, she stood and nodded. “Okay.”
I quickly packed some clothes in a bag for her. I didn’t want to risk her changing her mind, so I worked fast to get her out of there. For a twenty-five year old woman, she owned very little so it didn’t take me long. Fifteen minutes later, I bundled her into my car and made the half-hour drive home. Annie sat next to me staring out the window, not saying a word. I prayed like hell she would run with this plan and not slink back to her boyfriend.
***
I lived above the bar. It had been my home for six months. The decision to move here had been made in desperation when the house I rented was sold and I had nowhere to go. My intention had never been for it to become a permanent home, it had just worked out that way over time. I liked it, though, and couldn’t see myself moving out anytime soon.
It was three o’clock when Annie and I arrived back there. Jess was working and she gave me a sad smile when she saw me follow behind Annie. She knew Annie’s story, and also knew I’d spent years trying to help her to no avail. “Hi Annie,” she greeted her with kindness in her voice.
“Hi Jess,” Annie replied, so softly I doubted Jess would have heard it.
“I’ll meet you upstairs soon, hon,” I said to Annie. “You unpack your stuff and get settled, and I’ll see you in a couple of minutes.”
“Okay,” she murmured before giving me a small smile and heading upstairs.
With a heavy heart, I walked over to where Jess was at the bar.
“She moving in?” Jess inquired.
“Yeah. Her boyfriend is a dick and has been cheating on her and treating her like shit. I need to find her a psychologist and get her head sorted.”
“You take too much on, Layla. She’s a grown woman. Maybe it’s time she started looking out for herself rather than relying on you to always swoop in and fix her problems.”
I perched on a stool and rested my elbows on the bar. Blowing out a long breath, I said, “I know what you’re saying, but I feel like I’ve never given her the tools to do that. And god fucking knows her parents didn’t either, so she’s almost like a child just floating aimlessly through life with no idea how to be an adult. I think if we can work with a professional, Annie might finally be able to gain the belief in herself and the skills she needs to move forward, you know?”
Jess considered what I’d said. “Maybe. Promise me, though, if you do this and put the time into it, and it doesn’t work, you need to stop putting yourself through that. Annie’s not only hurting herself here.”
I knew she was coming from a good place, but she didn’t have anyone in her life that needed her like Annie needed me, so she couldn’t understand why I would never give up on my cousin. “I can’t promise that, Jess.”
We were both quiet for a few moments. Then she said, “I’m here if you need anything, okay?”
I smiled. Jess had worked here for a couple of years and we’d become good friends. We were the same age, twenty-seven, but where I had no family around me, except for Annie, she was surrounded by loving parents and five siblings. She’d taken me under her wing and introduced me to her family when she discovered I had no one. They’d welcomed me and made me an honorary member of their family. She always came through for me, even if she didn’t agree with the choices I made. “Thank you,” I said.
“Always.”
I jumped off the stool. “I’m gonna head up and make sure she’s okay. Just call if you need me.”
She nodded. “Will do. What time is Damian coming in?”
“Seven, so I’ll make sure I’m back down by five unless you call.”
“Okay, boss,” she said, waving her hands to indicate I should leave her to it.
I climbed the stairs slowly. Dealing with Annie was weary work, and while I never resented it, I didn’t necessarily look forward to it. I found her in my spare bedroom, curled up on the bed, asleep, so I left her and headed back down to the bar.
Jess frowned as she caught sight of me. “Why aren’t you upstairs?”
“She’s asleep so I thought I would help you get the bar ready for tonight.”
“Thanks.”
I began helping her stock the bar and she asked, “Have you heard from Dale at all?”
“No.” Anger swirled in my stomach just at the thought of him.
I’d hate to see my reaction if he walked back in here.
“Do you think he’s gone for good?”
I put the bottle that was in my hand down and contemplated her question. “I wouldn’t be surprised. That’s a lot of cash he owes and I can’t think of anyone he knows who could lend it to him. If I were him, I wouldn’t come back.”
“Yes, you would,” she stated, matter-of-factly. “You’re too good of a person to do what he’s done to you.”
“Yeah, but if a bookie had me in his sights for that much, I think I’d run.”
“Layla, you wouldn’t. You’re the kind of woman who gets shit done and finds a way when the rest of us think we’ve run out of options. But this conversation is a waste of time anyway, because you wouldn’t get yourself in that kind of shit to begin with. And you certainly wouldn’t steal from your friend.”
“Well, there is that. You’re damn right I wouldn’t steal from a friend.”
Her eyes lit up as if she just remembered something. “Have you heard from that guy? You know, the one who helped you the other night. The arm porn dude.”
“The what?” Arm porn? Jess really did come out with some weird shit sometimes.
She grinned. “Did you get a look at his fucking arms? They’re like looking at porn, babe. Guaranteed to get you off on sight.”
I had to laugh. “I guess that’s one way to think about it. And yeah, I did get a look at them.”
“And?” She had that excited energy about her which usually meant she was formulating plans in her head.
I put my hand on my hip and gave her a stern look. “And what?”
“Oh god, Layla! Do you even notice when men are interested in you?” she asked me, looking exasperated.
“He’s not interested in me,” I muttered, trying to ignore the flutter in my belly. I may have been attracted to him, but to get involved with him could only be a bad idea. The shit he seemed to be involved in wasn’t anything I wanted to be near.
Jess pulled a face. “He is. You’ll see.”
Yeah, we’d see, but I had no interest in pursuing anything.
Well, maybe sex. That couldn’t hurt, could it?
***
He stepped through the front door of the bar at near midnight that night, and my tummy fluttered again. Just at the sight of him.
Dear lord.
I stood at the bar and watched as he strode toward me. He was wearing his standard outfit – jeans and black t-shirt teamed with his heavy boots. Tattoos peaked out from under his sleeves, and they only served to accentuate his muscles.
And turn me on.
“You okay?” he asked when he met me at the bar. Concern creased his face, and I wondered if I should be worried.
“Yeah, why?”
“Just checking. You haven’t seen or heard from Mario?”
“No,” I answered him, and then added, “
Should I have?”
He raked his hand through his hair. Not that he had a lot of hair; it was cut quite close to his head. I had a thing for bald men, so I loved that. Pushing out a breath, he said, “Sorry, didn’t mean to worry you. Been a long day with a lot of shit going down, so I just wanted to make sure Mario was keeping his end of the bargain.”
I relaxed and pulled out the scotch to pour him a drink. It seemed he needed one. “You looking for a reason to get those fists out?”
His brows rose. “Am I that easy to read?”
I slid his scotch across the bar, our eyes fixed on each other. “Just a little.”
He picked up his drink and held it for a moment while maintaining eye contact with me. I couldn’t shift my gaze even if I’d wanted to. And it seemed he couldn’t, either. He finally drank some of the scotch, his eyes still on mine. Placing the glass on the bar, he murmured, “Knew you were dangerous.”
What he said didn’t make any sense, but before I could ask him what he meant, he said, “I’m gonna take a seat. Can you keep the drinks coming?”
“Sure.”
I watched as he walked away.
What he hell did he mean by that statement?
I didn’t have time to contemplate it because Annie came down to the bar and distracted me. She’d been crying again, and my gut seized with apprehension.
Had that asshole been in contact with her?
I placed my hand gently on her arm. “What’s wrong?”
“He rang me and told me not to bother coming home.” She spoke through sniffles.
I checked my frustration and controlled my voice to keep the annoyance out of it. “Annie, you don’t want to go back. Remember?”
She nodded. “Yes, but it’s hard. We were together for ages, and, besides you, he’s all I had.”
I put my hand out. “Give me your phone.”
“What?”
“Give me your phone so he can’t ring you and fuck with your head again.”
She stared at me with indecision. The thing with Annie was I could totally control her if I tried, and while I hated what I was doing, it would be for the best when all was said and done.
I clicked my fingers and snapped, “Now.”
She quickly reached into her back jean pocket, pulled her phone out and gave it to me. It was better I controlled her for a while than some asshole only looking out for his own needs.
“Good,” I said, placing her phone in my pocket. “Now, I want you to go up to bed because tomorrow you start work.”
She stiffened. “Work?”
“Yes, you can work here while you stay with me.”
“I don’t know anything about working in a bar.” Panicked features stared back at me.
I ignored her worry. “It’ll be fine. I’ll show you everything you need to know. Promise.”
She relaxed a little. Whenever I promised something, I always came through, and she knew that. “Okay, Layla.”
I waited until she’d gone upstairs before shaking my head and expelling a frustrated breath.
Lord help us.
“Layla.”
I turned to see Jess watching me. “She okay? We can cope down here without you if you want to go up and sit with her.”
I shook my head. “Thanks, but I think she’ll be alright by herself.”
Jess’s attention shifted to something behind me, and I looked around to find her looking at Donovan. Blade. I liked his given name better.
His gaze pierced me, stirring my lust. “Oh, shit,” I muttered as the lust unfurled through me.
“What?” Jess asked.
“I was supposed to keep his drinks coming.”
She grinned. “Well, you better get onto that then.”
I groaned at her subtlety. “I should send you over.”
“Nope, can’t do it. I’ve already got too much to do. You’ll have to take care of Mr Arm Porn.” She kept grinning as she brushed past me to get back to work.
“I’ll remember this,” I muttered as I poured his scotch.
When I placed it in front of him a couple of moments later, he asked, “Who’s the redhead?”
Momentarily confused, I frowned. “Who?”
He jerked his chin toward the bar. “The little redhead you were just talking to.”
Annie.
“She’s my cousin.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why?”
He shrugged. “I like to know who all the players are.”
“Who all the players are? What the fuck?”
“Layla, you’re in some serious shit here. I’m keeping an eye on everyone involved, so when I see a new face, I like to know who we’re dealing with.”
Seriously?
I pulled the spare seat back and sat down, glaring at him. “I’ll tell you who the fuck we’re dealing with, Donovan. Her name’s Annie and she’s my cousin. I’ve just moved her in with me to get her away from her deadbeat asshole of a boyfriend. Annie is the sweetest girl, but she struggles in life due to the shit her father dealt her growing up. She has absolutely nothing to do with Mario so you can stop wondering about her. Annie wouldn’t hurt a fly.” My pulse sped up, racing through my body while my heart pounded in my chest. I wouldn’t have Annie involved in this shit.
He shifted forward in his seat and dipped his head a little to bring his gaze closer to mine. “I didn’t think she would. I’m more concerned about Mario sniffing her out if he comes back here. That he’d use her against you. Anyone can see the girl is vulnerable.”
Shit.
I slumped in the chair, my body returning to its normal state. Some days it just felt like all the shit was piling up and I had no way out from under it. “Does life ever get to you?” I asked. He seemed so in control all the time.
He stared at me. I couldn’t read him, though. Couldn’t figure out what thoughts were running through his mind. Finally, he admitted, “Some days, yes.” And down came his guard a little. The hard lines of his face softened, and as he scrubbed a hand over his face, I noticed his exhaustion.
“Only some days?”
His lips curved into a small smile. “Perhaps more often than that.”
“I don’t know, Donovan...It just seems like every time I think life is going well, shit happens and screws it up. The two steps forward turn into three steps back some days.”
“Diamonds are made under pressure,” he murmured, eyes glued to mine, and I held my breath for a moment as I processed what he’d said. No one had ever given me a compliment like that, and I didn’t know what to make of it.
As I scrambled for what to say, he continued, “No one calls me Donovan anymore. I like it on your lips.” He drank some more of his scotch, eyes still on me.
God, he was something else. I’d never met a man like him. One who had the ability to make me want him even when I wanted nothing to do with him at the same time. One who threatened to set my panties on fire with words alone.
“I prefer it to Blade. How’d you get that name?” I asked.
He finished his drink, and carefully placed the glass back on the table before looking at me. “Probably best if I don’t share that story with you.” The intense way he looked at me sent shivers through my body.
I really wanted to know that story.
“Try me,” I challenged.
His eyes searched mine, looking for what, I wasn’t sure.
“Not much surprises me anymore, Donovan,” I added.
“Yeah? You’d be surprised at what surprises me.”
“Like what?”
“Like discovering I’ve been drinking at a bar for a year or so now, and never knew that the woman serving me drinks would turn out to be the most fascinating woman I’ve met in eight years.”
I couldn’t see them, but I was sure my eyes must have bulged out of my head. I didn’t say a word. Mostly because my mouth felt glued shut, but also because I had no idea what to say to that.
His lips twitched, not quite forming into a full smile, but it gave me a
glimpse of what he’d look like if he actually did smile. I had no doubt that when Donovan Brookes smiled, it would open his face up into the most beautiful face I’d ever seen on a man.
“Surprised?” he asked, and he surprised me again with the playfulness I heard in his tone. Only slight, but I caught it.
“Twice. Don’t do it again or I might fall off my chair,” I joked. It’d be interesting to see if he played along. I wasn’t sure he had it in him.
His small smile spread across his face, and I was right. Donovan was the most beautiful man I’d ever met. My core agreed and desire shot through me.
Oh god, where was this leading?
“Duly noted,” he murmured.
I returned his smile. “Good.” I pushed my chair back and stood. “I should get back to work,” I said, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do.
He grabbed my wrist to stop me. His firm grasp sent more shivers through me as I imagined his hands on me, holding me. “You want me to have a word with Annie’s boyfriend? Sort him out so he doesn’t give her anymore grief?”
I knew what he was asking, and while I kind of liked the idea of that asshole getting sorted out by Donovan, I wanted to be there, too, because I had some words to say to him first. “As long as I can tag along.”
He was silent for a moment, and I could just imagine all the thinking going on in his head. I doubted his thoughts ever gave him a moment’s peace. “Okay, but you do what I say if shit goes south.”
He had a lot to get to know about me.
I ignored that and asked, “When?”
“Tomorrow. I’ll drop by about three and pick you up if that works for you?”
“Sure.”
Bring it on. I wasn’t sure if my excitement stemmed more from telling Annie’s boyfriend off or spending time with Donovan.
Chapter Six
Blade
I gripped the bathroom vanity and stared in the mirror. Fucking three am, and I was awake again because of another fucking dream. And, once again, sweat covered me.
Fuck.
I turned the shower on and stepped in. If only I could cleanse the bad memories from my mind as easily as the sweat from my body. Why the hell didn’t killing Bullet give me fucking peace? ‘Cause it sure as fuck hadn’t.
