by Nina Levine
“Me and Harlow.”
I kept walking as she talked and ended up in the kitchen where Harlow was washing up dishes. She turned to look at me, and I was stunned to see her haggard appearance. She’d lost weight since I’d last seen her, and exhaustion marred her features.
“Hi Blade,” she murmured.
I lifted my chin at her. “Harlow.”
She gave me a small smile before turning back to her dishes. I turned to Madison and widened my eyes questioningly. She shook her head at me; it was her way of saying she’d tell me later. I let it go. We had other things to discuss.
“Talk to me,” I said to Madison as I grabbed a stool at her breakfast bar.
She sighed. “I don’t know. I hated him in the end, Blade. You know that. I’ve already grieved the loss of my father. But to think he’s gone, and I’ll never see him again, I feel kinda sad even though I don’t want to.” Her voice cracked at the end, and I reached for her hand to pull her to me. I put my arms around her and held her.
“I think it would be weird for you not to feel sad, babe. You grew up with a different father to me, and it’s only recently you’ve seen that other side to him, so you’re mourning a completely different man to the one I knew. It’s okay to be sad, and it’s also okay to be conflicted about it. There’s no right way to feel.”
“You have this way, you know that?” she said, softly.
“What way?”
She pulled out of my embrace. “This way of saying just the right thing whenever I need to hear it. Thank you.”
Harlow turned around and chimed in. “She’s right, Blade. You’re a special man.”
I stared at Harlow, uncomfortable with this conversation now. Neither of them knew I had killed Marcus, and while I didn’t think they would care, it weighed on my mind. I’d spoken with Scott this morning, and we’d agreed upon who would be made aware of what really happened yesterday. That list included those who were present as well as Nash and J. Scott had advised Sharon not to utter a word of it, either. Griff and Scott had dumped Marcus’s body and tipped the cops off as to where it was. They needed his death to be made public so they could move forward with club business.
“Have you spoken to your Mum?’ I asked, changing the subject.
“She came over this morning and it was the first time in ages we sat and talked about stuff so freely. It’ll take her some time to sort her head out, but I think she’s gonna be okay.”
“And Scott? How’s he handling it?”
I was surprised that Harlow answered me. “He was in a bit of shock, but he was okay.”
Watching her closely, I said, “I know you and Scott are going through something, Harlow. Are you doing okay?”
A sad look crossed her face. “Not really,” she admitted softly. She took a deep breath before opening up. “I was pregnant and lost the baby. Scott’s been amazing but I’m so lost and I don’t know how to move past it. I need some time but he just wants to fix everything . . . You know what men are like, they see a problem and try to come up with ways to make it better, but this can’t be fixed.”
Fuck.
Harlow went back to her dishes before I could say anything. It seemed like she needed some space so I left it. My phone rang a moment later and I held it up, and said, “I’m gonna get going, babe. Just wanted to stop in and make sure you were alright.”
She came to me with a hug. “Thank you for coming over,” she murmured.
“I’ll talk to you soon,” I promised, and then left them to it.
As I answered my phone, my mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Scott and all the shit he had to deal with at the moment. I hoped he was up to it, because with Marcus out of the picture, he had a lot to take on.
It was Merrick on the phone. “Hi Boss,” he said after I’d answered, “got an update for you.”
My mind ran blank. “What for?” I asked, getting in my car.
“On Phil Deacon.”
“Phil fucking Deacon,” I muttered. “What’s the update?”
“Turns out the reason we can’t find him is because he’s dead.”
“What the fuck?”
“Yeah, the day he threatened Layla, he also threatened Onyx’s woman, and Onyx wasn’t too pleased about that so he took care of him.”
I chuckled. “So Onyx the fucker finally got his wish to do more than just talk to Phil.”
I could hear Merrick’s grin in his voice. “Would seem so. Where are you?”
“I’m sitting outside Madison’s house and am just about to pay a visit to the Storm clubhouse.”
“Fuck, that’s gonna be a shit fight over there.”
“Yeah, you’re telling me.”
“Good luck with that,” he said, and we ended the call.
God knew what would happen with Storm now.
***
The mood was grim at the clubhouse. The guys who had still looked up to Marcus were sitting around the bar, discussing revenge on whoever did it.
Scott greeted me in the bar and quickly took me into the office where Griff was. As the current Vice President, he’d had to assume control for the moment, and he appeared to be struggling with it.
“How’s the mood in the club?” I asked once we were behind closed doors.
“Not good,” Scott answered. It was obvious from his body language and tone, he wasn’t happy with me.
Griff threw the pen he was holding down on the table and leaned back in his chair. “We got word this morning that Marcus sent a shitload of drugs into Ricky’s territory yesterday morning.”
“I thought we’d put that plan on hold for the moment,” I said.
“We had,” Griff said pointedly.
“Fuck,” I muttered. “That screws with everything. We’re not ready for that yet.”
“You’re fucking telling us,” Scott threw in, clearly stressed.
I grabbed my phone. “I’ll get Merrick to round up some of the boys to come over and set up watch. You’re gonna need eyes on this club, and I’d be putting some on your homes, too.”
“We also need to get to Ricky,” Scott said.
“For what it’s worth, Scott, I didn’t intend to kill Marcus yesterday. I couldn’t control it, though, and for that I’m sorry. But only because of the impact it will have on Storm. I’m not fucking sorry I killed him.”
Scott pushed out a long, tired breath. “Yeah, brother, I’m not sorry you did, either. And we’ll get through this shit like we always do.”
Brother.
It was still there.
“I spoke to Harlow this morning.”
He stared at me for a long moment. “She told you?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Sorry, man. I get the impression she’s not coping well with the loss.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “No, she’s not, and as much as I try to figure it all out, she keeps pushing me away. She won’t open up to me and let me help her.”
“Maybe this isn’t something you can figure out. Perhaps it’s something you just have to live through while making sure you’re there for each other.”
“Yeah,” he murmured.
“Jesus, Scott. Sorry, man,” Griff said.
I didn’t say anything, but rather simply watched him and took in everything I figured he must be feeling. Losing a child would be hard enough, but for the woman you loved to shut down on you at the same time would make it even harder.
Sensing Scott’s reluctance to talk about this any further, I changed the subject. “What’s the plan with the club now?”
“I’ve called Church for this afternoon and we’ll vote in a new President,” Griff said.
“Scott?” I asked.
Griff glanced at Scott and then back at me. “That was always the plan, but due to the way shit went down, fuck knows if he’ll get the votes needed.”
“J and Nash are doing the rounds, working out where everyone stands,” Scott said.
“Okay, keep me updated. I’ll call Merrick now and organise
manpower for you.”
Griff nodded. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.”
As I left, I realised that although I’d fucked with their plan, Scott hadn’t shut down on me. If anything, Marcus’s death was bringing us together in ways I’d never seen coming.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Layla
“Are you okay?” I asked Sharon. She looked exhausted and already had dark circles under her eyes.
She wiped the counter and looked at me. “I honestly don’t know, Layla. I killed my husband yesterday so I’m not sure how a wife is supposed to feel after that.”
“You didn’t kill him,” I reminded her.
“I might as well have.” She stopped cleaning and sighed. “I don’t know what came over me when I got the gun. All the hurt and humiliation came at me, and I couldn’t stand it any longer . . . ” Her voice cracked and although no tears fell, I knew that if she were a weaker woman, she’d be bawling by now. Sharon Cole was keeping her shit together, but only just.
I had been going to ask her if she wanted time off, but my gut feeling was she didn’t, so I’d put her to work. We’d had a quiet afternoon so we’d spent it cleaning the bar. It had just turned six o’clock and the after-work rush was beginning to trickle in.
Jess had just had her break and wandered back in. “Have you heard from Donovan today?” she asked.
“He phoned earlier to check on us and said he’d be busy all day so I’m not expecting him until late.”
“That’s a good man you’ve got there,” Sharon said. “Hold onto him tight and don’t let go.”
I smiled. She was damn right I had a good man.
“Go and take your break, babe. Jess and I will manage while you’re gone.”
“Thanks, I won’t be long,” she said, leaving us to it.
A customer distracted me and when I’d finished serving him, Jess asked, “Is Sharon really okay? She’s putting on a brave face, but her husband just died so I’m wondering how she’s managing that?”
Jess didn’t know the full story, and Donovan had given Sharon and me strict instructions not to share the truth with anyone. I knew he’d done this for more reasons than to cover himself. He’d vaguely mentioned something about the motorcycle club being at risk if the truth came out, and I knew he never exaggerated anything, so I kept tight-lipped.
“Sharon’s a tough woman, Jess. She could be breaking on the inside and I doubt she’d ever show the world. I’m just gonna go with the flow with her and take it as it comes.”
“I can see that about her, but if she does crack and can’t come into work, I’m happy to pull extra shifts to cover her. I just wanted you to know that.”
I smiled at her. “So you do love me,” I teased.
She rolled her eyes before grinning at me. “Don’t let it go to your head. I’m doing it more for me than you because you can be a bitch if you have to work too much.”
I laughed. “Yeah, yeah, that’s just your excuse to cover your real reason.”
She shook her head at me and turned to take care of the customers who had just arrived. I helped serve them and couldn’t stop thinking how lucky I was to have her.
***
We ended up having a busy night, which was great, but by the end of it, I was exhausted. At eleven o’clock Donovan wandered in, looking even more exhausted than me. I was wiping tables down and he came straight to me and pulled me into his embrace. He placed a kiss to my forehead before murmuring, “I missed you today, baby.”
As he let me go, I looked up at him and said, “Me too. How was your day?”
“Let’s just say I’m glad it’s over.”
His voice told me everything I needed to know and I grabbed his hand and led him towards the stairs. As we passed the bar, I said to Jess, “Call me if you girls need me, okay?”
Her gaze landed on Donovan and she nodded. Shifting her eyes back to mine, she said, “Sure thing, boss.”
I mouthed thank you at her, and led my man upstairs. I knew he needed me tonight and it was confirmed when we entered my bedroom and he shut the door and pulled me into his arms.
I looked up into his face as I wrapped my arms around him. “If you need to talk, I’m here for you but if that’s the last thing you want, I understand that, too.”
He brushed his lips over mine before saying, “A man could only hope to find a woman like you. I do want to talk but there’s no fucking way I can stay away from you a minute longer, sweetheart.” His hunger blazed in his eyes and caused me to shiver with anticipation.
Yes.
My hand moved to the bottom of his tee and I pulled it up and off him. At the same time, he removed his jeans and then his boxers. My gaze moved over his body and my heart beat faster at the sight of his muscles. He was so powerful and strong. And yet, on the inside he was so very vulnerable and broken. I didn’t like that life had done that to him, but I knew it had made him the amazing man he was.
My amazing man.
His hand came to my chin and he tilted it so our eyes met. “Baby, are you gonna stop fucking me with your eyes for long enough to get your clothes off?” he asked gruffly.
“There’s nothing stopping you from taking my clothes off while I continue what I’m doing.”
His brows rose, and his lips twitched. As his hands moved to the button on my jeans, he murmured, “You’re lucky I like a woman with some fucking balls.”
Oh god, I really am.
My body lit up with desire at his words and I tried to help him as he roughly stripped me. We needed to hurry this process along because my need for him had intensified. When I stood naked in front of him, he slowed his movements and let his gaze roam over my body. I waited for as long as I could, but he made it near impossible to drag this out for too long. Donovan Brookes was not a man any woman could resist, and I was so far gone on him that he had me ready to go with just a look.
“Donovan, I need you to -”
He cut me off by placing his fingers to my lips and silencing me. His other hand curled around my waist and pulled me closer to him. He bent his face to mine and whispered in my ear, “I need my mouth on your pussy. You good with that?”
I was sure I almost came with all the sensations screaming through me.
Fuck.
He can do that with just his words.
I nodded, and he pushed me backwards against the wall. As he dropped to his knees, I had to wonder what I’d ever done to be rewarded with a man who loved my pussy as much as he did. A moment later, his mouth found me, and I sagged against the wall and closed my eyes, letting him give me pleasure in his favourite way.
His hands gripped my ass and his tongue worked its magic. He’d already gotten me started with his words, though, so it didn’t take him long to make me come. I threaded my fingers through his hair and held tight as the orgasm surged through me.
Donovan moved quickly once I came, and he had me on the bed under him in a matter of moments. His intense stare looked down at me as his cock pushed against my pussy, but he didn’t say anything.
Oh god, he’s gonna fuck me into a state of complete bliss.
Our hunger charged the air around us as we silently watched each other.
This was going to be fast.
Hard.
Shit, I couldn’t wait any longer.
I tilted my hips so his cock slid through my wetness. He hissed and thrust inside me.
Yes.
My arms clung to him as he pulled out and thrust back in, over and over. I shut my eyes and let my body take over as I gave myself to him completely. Donovan could have me to do whatever he wanted with. He owned me, body and soul, and as he fucked me, I savoured the delicious sensations spreading throughout me.
I knew he was chasing something tonight. A release, yes, but there was something else there, too. Usually, he connected with me during sex, with his eyes or his lips. Tonight, there was none of that as he fucked me. He dropped his head next to mine and grunted with each thrust, his movement
s growing wilder the closer he moved towards his orgasm.
I came, but he kept going, nowhere near coming. Something held him back, and as he kept pushing for it, I opened my eyes and whispered in his ear, “Feel it, baby. Stop thinking.”
I knew he heard me because he grunted louder on the next thrust, and he must have processed it because a couple of thrusts later, he slammed into me and stilled, his body tensing as he roared out his release.
I held onto him until he finally looked up at me. His eyes held all his secrets, and tonight they were telling me how much he was struggling. I laid a hand gently against his cheek and murmured, “Talk to me.”
He stared at me for a moment before rolling off me. Positioning himself on his back with one arm resting under his head, he said, “I killed the man who murdered Ashley, and I thought it would give me peace. I killed my father and thought the same thing.” He stopped talking and turned to look at me. Drawing a ragged breath, he said, “I’m not feeling any kind of fucking peace.”
The fact my man had killed people should have affected me in other ways, but all I could think was he’d rid the world of people who didn’t deserve to be here. But what did affect me was the way he wrestled with every bad thing in his life. It caused him anguish and I wished more than anything that I could take it away for him.
But I couldn’t.
I rolled onto my side and nestled myself against him. I laid my arm across his body, hugging him. We didn’t say anything, but there wasn’t much else to be said. I stayed there with him for a while, but eventually I let him go so I could go to the bathroom and clean up. I pressed a kiss to his lips and murmured, “I’ll be back in a minute.”
His hand ran up and down my back as he said, “Okay, baby.”
I only left him for a few minutes but when I returned, his eyes were closed and I knew he was asleep by the rise and fall of his chest and his steady breathing.
My man needed a break from the unrelenting demons of his life.
***
“Who is he?” I asked Annie the next morning when she broke the news to me she didn’t need a lift to work because a man was going to take her.
We were sitting at the table having breakfast with Donovan when she broke the news to me, and he watched me carefully as Annie and I had this conversation. Trepidation filled me at this news but I forced myself to remain calm for her sake. Who knew? Maybe this guy would be the one good guy she needed to meet.
