On Sunday morning when Celeste wakes up, she fills her favorite mug with water and sets it in the microwave so that she can make tea. Her fuzzy bear slippers adorn her feet as she makes her way to her front porch to pick up the morning paper.
Thomas, who had been out in the back yard, comes in via his doggy door and nudges her leg with his nose.
“Good morning, Thomas. Did you sleep well last night?” Celeste carefully regards her beloved pooch and bends down a little closer aligning her face with his own and say, “We need to talk, Thomas. How about over breakfast?”
Celeste gives his head one more affectionate pat before fixing his breakfast and setting out clean water for him to drink. When Thomas begins digging in gleefully, Celeste begins talking. “We’re going to be moving. I’m getting married to a wonderful man named Stephen. For security reasons we don’t think we should continue living here. Not that we don’t live in a safe neighborhood, but we need something that allows us more privacy. Now, with my marriage, you’ll have to get used to living with someone else besides me.
“That doesn’t change the fact that I love you oodles, but it does mean that you’ll have to share me. I’m sure that won’t be a problem. I’m sure he’s going to love you as much as I do and in the end, it will mean that you have more people to play with than just me.
“And when we have kids, then you’ll have someone smaller than you to watch over.”
Knowing that it won’t be too much longer before Stephen arrives for them to go to church, she washes her hands and retrieves her steaming mug from the microwave.
After making her tea just as she likes it, she sits at her breakfast table and opens the paper. She chokes and sputters over her first sip of tea which, although is hot, is not the cause of her choking episode. At the bottom of the front page, in full-blown color, is a picture of Stephen at the charity event that he attended just last night.
But in the picture, he is not alone, he is dancing with some model named Nadia. She reads the caption below the picture Stephen Haule as seen in this picture, attended last night’s gala and was captured dancing with fashion model Nadia.
Celeste can’t even bring herself to read the article she is so heart broken. A pain, which she never thought she would have to endure, rises from her gut with volcanic force and brings stinging tears to her eyes.
She opens her mouth to speak, to utter a question, but no words are forth coming. Instead, she cries out as unchecked tears streak down her cheeks. Celeste buries her face in her hands and walks numbly back to her bedroom where she lies down on her bed and weeps with bitter agony.
It has happened to her again, someone who claimed to love her yet they lied to her has left her bereft and drifting. But this time it hurts on a deep and personal level. When her father had cheated on her mom, Celeste had felt her father’s departure from their home, but she had known that the insult had not been directed at her.
Tyrone, truth be told, had not broken her heart for he had not had the power to do so since she had not entrusted him with it. His lies and betrayal had only enabled her to cocoon herself within a wall of protection that she felt was necessary to guard herself against the agonies of loving and losing.
But Stephen… Stephen had been the man that with his patience had been able to slowly but surely chip away at her stronghold. He had done so with patience and with what Celeste had believed with her whole heart to be love.
Celeste suddenly sits up from the bed as questions flood her mind faster than the speed of light. Where was Mario while Stephen was dancing with this Nadia chick? Is she some exgirlfriend of Stephen’s? Had there honestly not been a way to get a ticket for Celeste? Or, had Stephen known that Nadia would be there and wanted to meet up with her without inconvenient Celeste hanging around?
Is it Tyrone all over again? No. Tyrone had claimed his reasons for cheating on Celeste had been purely sexual. He had wanted what Celeste was unwilling to give, so he sought comfort in the arms of another woman.
Stephen had not once tried to sleep with Celeste. On the other hand, Celeste thinks to herself, rising from the bed and angrily wiping at her tear stained face, perhaps he knew that Celeste would never agree to sleep with him outside of marriage, so he too had sought comfort in the arms of another woman.
“No. Whatever may be going on with this Nadia woman, I am positive that he is not sleeping with her. No matter how uncertain I am right now at where he stands with me. I know where he stands with God. I know that he would not violate God’s commandment for sexual purity.”
Well, it doesn’t matter now anyway. I must break it off. And I’ll do it now before I have to see him. Celeste goes to her bedroom phone and picks it up to punch in Stephen’s cell phone number. She instead gets his voice mail. “No time like the present, I always say.”
“Stephen, I’ve seen the morning paper, and there is no longer a need for you to come to church with me to meet my pastor since we won’t be getting married. I’ll send the ring to your mother’s house.
“Please don’t come by for it will only make things more difficult and messier than they need be. Good Bye.”
Celeste’s hand shakes as she replaces the receiver. Her breath is coming in gasps, and her heart is beating like a drum, heavy in her chest. Although ending an engagement by phone is terribly tacky, she figures she owes him no amount of decorum since he was the one out with another woman last night.
Celeste makes her way down the hall and rounds the corner to her desk. From her desk drawer she pulls out a sheet of paper intending to compose a letter to Stephen’s mother. But how can she? The words just won’t come. Instead, she takes her engagement ring from her finger and lays it on top of the paper and hurries to her bathroom to get dressed. She wants to be out of the house before Stephen arrives at her front door.
Looking at the clock, she figures she has an hour before he is expected to arrive. Celeste determines she’ll only use half of that time to ensure that she is out of the house well before he arrives.
As Stephen is riding down the 405 freeway tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the song he is listening to, he decides to call Celeste and let her know that he took an earlier flight this morning, and therefore, she could expect him earlier.
Picking up his cell phone from the passenger seat he turns it on only to have it turn off immediately after informing him that his battery is low. No problem. He pulls out his mobile charger and proceeds to plug the unit into the in dash socket.
When he turns his phone on, he sees that he has a new message. Stephen navigates to his visual voice mail, and he sees that the message is from Celeste. Celeste’s voice resounds in his ears and he can detect that she is extremely tense or upset about something. He prays that it’s nothing too serious.
Morning paper…
No need to come to church…
Not getting married…
Not getting married?
I’ll send the ring to your mother’s house…
Please don’t come by…
The nothing too serious he had been praying about has turned out to be something rather tumultuous to Stephen. “Not in this life time, my dearest Celeste.” Stephen maintains his control of the vehicle and his temper for the remaining fifteen miles it takes to pull off the freeway and drive to Celeste’s house. He doesn’t know what’s going on, but he is sure about to get to the bottom of it.
Chapter Seventeen
Stephen arrives at Celeste’s door. When she opens it, he pushes his way in and encounters Thomas who is barking his head off at Stephen and threatening him.
Stephen says, “Since he didn’t care too much for me when we met, I think it would be a good idea to put him away. Unless you wish to see me mauled.”
Celeste is angry at his barging in on her at her home and issuing orders. She says none to politely, “Perhaps it would be a better idea if you left, then you wouldn’t have to worry about being mauled.”
Looking Celeste in the eye with
a determination unlike any that she has ever seen in him before, Stephen says, “I’m not going anywhere until you have listened to me.” He eyes Thomas before continuing, “And if that means that Cujo here gets to gnaw on my leg, then so be it.”
Celeste is taken aback by Stephen’s willingness to risk defending himself against Thomas to speak to her. Her selfpreservation rushes in all the more. “How dare you march into my home demanding obedience after what you did last night?”
“What exactly are you referring to? The only thing I know is that we were supposed to be spending the day together, but then you left a voice mail on my phone saying that we aren’t getting married and that you would be mailing me back your engagement ring. If you’re going to end our engagement at least have the guts to do so to my face and give me an exact reason why. Not some lame excuse.”
“Fine then. And when we have talked you will leave without harassing me?”
Stephen feels fear grip his heart as he faces the idea that after finally waiting this woman out and getting her to agree to marry him that he might lose her after all. But he would not give up without a fight. “I will not leave here until I have exhausted every avenue of coming to some sort of understanding about whatever it is that you think I have done to wrong you.”
Celeste stares at him with many emotions chasing one after the other across her face; fear, hurt, anguish, and love. It is the latter that gives Stephen hope that all is not yet lost.
Although Thomas initial intrusion into anxiously watching and waiting for Stephen to make even one false move.
Celeste looks at Thomas and then back at Stephen before saying to Thomas, “What a good boy you are, Thomas. Why don’t you go out back now? Every thing’s okay.” Thomas turns and makes his way to the kitchen. He stops just short of the kitchen threshold and turns to look again at Stephen then Celeste as if he fears that the minute his back is turned his master will need him.
“Good boy, Thomas. Go in the backyard.”
With the silence that is stretching between Celeste and Stephen being so intense that it is palatable, you hear nothing but the sway of the doggy door, which indicates that Thomas has just completed his orders.
Celeste is the one who breaks the long drawn out silence by saying, “I don’t know why I am even willing to listen to you, short of my curiosity.” She feels her anger and pride has grown quiet since Stephen’s the house, he has not stopped well up within her and snaps at him, “In fact, I’ve changed my mind. I want you to go, Stephen.” She turns her back to him so that he won’t see the tears in her eyes that she is trying furiously but unsuccessfully to blink away.
“I love you, Celeste and I am not going anywhere because you were meant to be by my side,” he says as he walks the short distance to stand behind her and places his hands gently on her shoulders. “If I go anywhere, you will be with me, and should I ever let you more than an arms distance away from me you can bet that I will not be far behind.”
Hearing him utter his declarations of love use to be music to Celeste’s ears. This is no longer the case since reading her morning paper. His words only serve the purpose of ebbing her flow of tears and igniting her once cooling anger. She turns to look him in the eye as she snarls at him, “You say that now but it wasn’t me whom you wanted by your side last night when you were dancing it up with that Nadia woman.”
“Yes. I was dancing with Nadia, but she’s not you Celeste.”
“Of course she isn’t me, and that’s the whole point, Bucko. You were tested, and you failed, just like Tyrone. I would think once bitten twice shy, but unlike my relationship with Tyrone I actually gave my heart to you. I loved you, and this is how you treat me, by cheating on me and thoroughly embarrassing and humiliating me.”
“Baby, I have never so much as looked at another woman since meeting you.”
“Give me a break, Stephen. The evidence is not even in black and white but full-blown color. You must think me either blind or a fool, of which I can assure you, I am neither. I only pray that the next man that I give my heart to will give me his in return.”
Stephen can feel Celeste being stripped from him as painfully as if his very heart is being pulled from his body. He says, with a determination he does not quite feel, “You will never give your heart to someone else as long as I live and breathe. You were meant for me and I for you, and once you let me explain...”
“I don’t need you to explain. I saw, remember?”
“Things aren’t always what they seem, Celeste,” his says more quietly, trying to calm the storm that is rising between the two of them. Now that Stephen knows why Celeste is angry he is certain that once he is given a chance to explain that she will once again wear his ring, and they can go forth with their future together. He is also sure that they must work on the issue of her trusting him. The past can often hurt a person’s chance for a happy future because they become withdrawn and extremely suspicious. One thing at a time, Stephen tells himself. ‘Be anxious for nothing but in all things submit your supplications unto the lord.’ Dear Lord, please make my path straight. Give me the words to soothe her heart.
“You’re right,” Celeste says, “I actually believed you when you said you loved me. But as for the picture in the paper, I’m quite sure things are exactly as they seem.”
“Quite sure?” he questions.
“Quite!”
“So when I prove you wrong, I expect you to apologize. And…” he gently places one finger over her lips when he hears her take a deep breath in preparation of interrupting him, “then I expect you to make it up to me by promising that you will never again make assumptions, but you will talk to me first. I promise never to lie to you, Celeste, but for that promise to be worth much you have to promise to trust me. Relationships do not work without trust. Besides, jealousy is not a Godly emotion and neither is it becoming.”
Celeste feels thoroughly checked and quite embarrassed for indeed Stephen is correct. Celeste lowers her head to stare at her feet.
Knowing that for the first time since he has arrived he has Celeste’s undivided attention, Stephen seizes the opportunity and explains, “The girl I was dancing with is Mario’s youngest sister. She happened to be in San Francisco for a photo shoot since she schedules her shoots around her college schedule and she happens to be on spring break. Mario suddenly came down with flu, and since we had already paid for the tickets last year we figured it a shame not to use them, so I asked her to come along.
“I wasn’t the only one that danced with her that evening, I just happened to be the one with her in the newspapers picture.”
Celeste feels her neglected chrysanthemum exposed to the hot desert sun in August. And as her anger dissipates, her joy rises with the realization that Stephen had not cheated on her. Indeed he must be telling the truth, for it would be too easy to verify. Verify?
Did she really trust him so little that she couldn’t take his word? How could she marry someone who she did not trust? How could she value another person’s word over her intended husband?
Shame in the purist form washes over Celeste like a heavy rainfall, “I should have trusted you. I’m sorry.”
“I forgive you. But before we move on with the making up, perhaps you should tell me what has happened in your life to make you so distrustful.”
Knowing that the time has come to share her deepest kept secrets, Celeste says, “Maybe we should sit down first.”
anger wilting like a non-watered,
Stephen follows Celeste to the couch where he waits for her to sit then takes a seat beside her.
“It all starts with my parents but it far from ends there. I told you that my parents were divorced because my father cheated on my mother, but what I didn’t tell you was that the affair had been going on at least ten years before my mom came across some evidence. Prior to finding it she had utterly no clue that anything was amiss. It turned out that I had a half-brother.
“After that, mom became exceedingly sour regard
ing relationships in general. And to this day, she hasn’t dated that I know of. Being raised by someone who is bitter rubs off on a child even though, to my mother’s credit, she never badmouthed my dad. But loving my mother the way I do, I could feel her pain as sure as if it were my own. That, coupled with the realization that I had a half-brother, didn’t help.
“Later in life I did give one relationship a try.”
“Tyrone,” Stephen fills in for her without question.
“Yeah. Things were going along pretty well. He accepted the fact that I was going to stay… well… no hanky panky until we were married,” Celeste blushed as she spoke, unable to meet Stephen’s eyes with her own.
“He proposed, I accepted, and a couple of months after that he had a business trip to Hawaii. Thinking nothing out of the ordinary was going on, I drove him to the airport and wished him a safe trip.
“While he was gone I began to feel… I don’t know...distant from him. When I could reach him on the phone he always cut our conversations short, and I felt like he didn’t have any time for me.
“I passed it off as him having his mind on work, and that he was just swamped.”
“Well, he was swamped all right. By a woman named Paula. Apparently, he met her right after he gave me his ring and they made plans to get away together.
“When he came back I, being none the wiser, thought that we would just continue on the way we had been. He quickly set me straight.” Celeste got up from the couch and walked a few steps away from it and Stephen, keeping her back to him.
“I was mad. I was absolutely livid. I thought to myself, ‘I guess all men are alike.’ I should have known better.” Turning to face Stephen she says, “I realized then that I didn’t genuinely love him. I had just always thought him safe and trustworthy. At that time, trustworthy was more important than love.
“But you’ve shown me that I was wrong. One is not more important than the other. They are both important. And all men aren’t alike. I know that truly I can have it all with you.”
A Wife for Stephen Page 18
