His gaze was intense. “I will find him,” he assured her. “I will bring him back to you.”
“But you said he was lost in the mud. You said it was impossible.”
He cocked his head. “It was impossible at the time,” he replied. “The situation was far too volatile to recover the dead. It is not too volatile now and I can take the time to search without fearing for my life.”
She looked at him, hard. “And you truly believe you can find him?”
“I swear I will do my very best.”
She had no idea why she believed him completely, but she did. There was something in his tone, in his manner, that gave her that confidence. Cortez de Bretagne was a great knight with a golden reputation and if he said he would return Robert to her, then he would. She very much wanted to have faith. It was the first time in three months that she had felt any hope at all and she was desperate to cling to it.
“As you say,” she whispered as she nodded her head, her gaze locked with his. “When you bring Robert home, I will keep my part of the bargain. I will marry you without reservation.”
Cortez’s expression remained earnest yet serious. “Thank you,” he muttered. “But we must also address the possibility that my best may not be good enough. If the worst happens and I am unable to bring him home, then I would like to know that my effort alone will also warrant your agreement. It is a sincere man who would go on such a quest for a woman he wishes to marry.”
He was correct in that observation. It would be a sincere man, indeed. Diamantha couldn’t help the shadow of a smile upon her lips.
“If you cannot return Robert home, then I will agree that your effort alone is worthy of my agreement,” she said softly. “You have my vow that I will still marry you.”
Cortez’s dark eyes glimmered at her, she thought, with some warmth. It was a magnetic expression, one that set her heart to racing. It was an entirely new sensation to experience with the man who had, until this moment, only brought about feelings of frustration and rage. The warmth was something completely new, something that bolted through her and took her breath away. As she sat there and struggled to process it, he extended a hand to her.
“When a bargain is struck between two honorable individuals,” he added, “it is usual to seal the deal with a shake of the hand.”
Hesitantly, Diamantha extended her right hand and he took it within is massive mitt, shaking it gently. His smile grew.
“Very well, Lady Edlington,” he said. “We have an agreement. I shall endeavor to fulfill my end of it.”
It took Diamantha a moment to realize that he had stopped shaking her hand. Now, he was just holding it, his warmth enveloping her small fingers. There was something very powerful and heated and stimulating about his touch. She could feel the bolts of excitement shooting up her arm. Jolted, uncertain, she pulled her hand away.
“And I shall endeavor to fulfill mine,” she said. She was still disturbed by the thrill of the man’s touch and struggled to her feet. “For now, I will make sure you are well supplied for your journey to find my husband. I must return to the keep and make arrangements for your provisions.”
Cortez stood up next to her, his hand politely on her elbow as she steadied herself. Even though it was just her elbow, he could feel the same jolts of excitement he had felt when he had been holding her hand. He was fairly certain she had felt them as well judging by her rather bewildered expression. He was beyond delighted. He hadn’t felt such emotion in years. He had wondered if he ever would again.
“That is a kind offer but unnecessary,” he said. “I will stop at Sherborne before heading north and gather supplies.”
Diamantha shook her head firmly as she struggled on her freezing wet slippers. “I must insist,” she said. “You are going in search of my husband, are you not? Therefore, I must make sure you are amply supplied. It is my duty.”
He wasn’t going to argue with her about it; she seemed determined. “Then whatever you can provide would be much appreciated,” he said as she stumbled her way towards the tent flap. He couldn’t help but notice she was walking rather oddly. “Forgive me for prying, but is something the matter?”
She looked at him innocently. “What do you mean?”
He suspected she was evading him. “You walk strangely,” he said. “Is something the matter with your feet? Have you hurt yourself?”
Diamantha’s pride was a great and terrible thing. She was prepared to fend him off but realized she couldn’t. She didn’t want him to know she had come to do battle with him so ill prepared but she supposed in hindsight that none of it mattered any longer. With a wry expression, she lifted up her skirt to show him her ruined slippers.
“They are not meant to become wet or walk over rocks and soil,” she pointed to her shoes. “I ruined them on my way to berate you. I should have put on more durable shoes but I suppose my anger would not wait.”
He looked at the wet, torn slippers. “It is a good thing you did not stop to put on more durable shoes,” he said. “You might have tried to kick me with them.”
She couldn’t help but crack a grin. “You are too big to engage in a kicking fight,” she said. “I would have lost.”
He smiled broadly, displaying his straight, white teeth. “I would have let you win.”
She eyed him with doubt. “Somehow, I do not think so,” she said. “You are not a man, I suspect, that would easily surrender.”
He shrugged. “I surrendered to your daughter when she abducted me and forced me to visit her pony.”
Diamantha couldn’t help it; she laughed softly and Cortez was entranced. She had the most beautiful smile had had ever seen, one that positively lit up the heavens. His heart began to flutter strangely at the sight and limbs seemed to tingle oddly. It was a strange but wonderful sensation and it took him a moment to realize that he was actually giddy. The woman makes me giddy!
“You were not so unwilling,” Diamantha said skeptically. “When I saw you, you seemed quite complacent.”
“Only because I did not want to upset your daughter.”
He was being stubborn but it was all for show. “Then I appreciate your sensitivity,” she said, mocking him with good humor. “Now, if you will excuse me, I will see to your needs for the morrow.”
He couldn’t seem to let go of her elbow. “You will never make it in those shoes.”
“I have little choice.”
His dark eyes smoldered at her. “Aye, you do.” Bending over, he swept her into his arms. “Will you allow your betrothed to carry you back to the keep? It will save your feet.”
Diamantha’s first instinct was to slap his face but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Then, her next thought was to push herself from his arms but she couldn’t seem to manage that, either. There was something about his big, muscular arms and warm body that destroyed every last shred of resistance she had against the man. The last time she had been held by a man… oh, God, it seemed so very long ago. Robert had warm and powerful arms that had made her feel so very safe and cherished. She had missed that terribly. Now, she was in Cortez’s arms and not entirely surprised that she liked it very much. His arms were bigger than Robert’s had been and she found them very safe and wonderful. She thought herself weak for liking it so much. Aye, she was weak, indeed.
“So we are betrothed?” she asked, trying not to sound breathless and excited. “I thought we were not betrothed until you returned with Robert’s body.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “For now, we are betrothed,” he informed her in that commanding tone she had heard before. “When I return, I plan to marry you that very day. I will not wait.”
Diamantha didn’t have anything to say to that. They had made their bargain and the terms were accepted. At the moment, she was struggling to process the course the night had taken. De Bretagne was no longer her enemy or a man to be hated. He was going to bring Robert back to her to give her peace and closure.
Aye, it was a sincere man who woul
d do that for the woman he planned to marry. She suspected that he was doing it to gain her compliance more than he was doing it to make her happy, although she supposed in a small way he did want to make her happy. He had no idea just how happy he had made her, but along with that happiness came something else. It was a feeling of curiosity, of emptiness, and of longing.
As Cortez carried her across the outer ward and towards the great gatehouse, Diamantha couldn’t help feeling as if something was missing. It was the oddest sensation, truly. There was a feeling of anxiety and impatience as it began to occur to her that she would have to wait for Cortez to return from his questing and that could take months. It might even take years. If he lost interest in the project, then he might never return at all. Nay, she couldn’t stand it if that happened. It would surely kill her.
By the time Cortez politely dropped her off on the steps to the great keep, Diamantha was deep in thought, mulling over plans for the future and weighing her options. She pretended to go inside when Cortez left her off, but in truth, she stood just inside the door, watching the big man disappear into the misty night. Her thoughts, her ideas, centered around him entirely; if he truly wanted to make her happy, and if he truly wanted her commitment to his marriage proposal, then she was about to put that desire to the test.
She was going to go with him.
CHAPTER FOUR
An hour before dawn, she was back.
Cortez had just managed to fall into a fitful sleep when Merlin was back in his tent, telling him that Lady Edlington was asking to see him again. Afraid that something was amiss, or perhaps she had even decided to go against their bargain once she’d had time to reflect, Cortez was just sitting up as Diamantha entered. It was very dark in the tent since the fire in the brazier had been reduced to glowing embers, making it difficult to see clearly. Merlin went to hunt down a taper as Diamantha approached Cortez.
“I am sorry to wake you,” she said, sounding anxious, “but I must speak with you. It is very important.”
Exhausted but alert, Cortez was concerned by the tone of her voice. Rising wearily to his feet, he reached out and gently grasped her shoulders.
“What is it?” he demanded softly. “What has happened?”
His grip burned her tender flesh like red-hot irons. His hands were enormous and powerful, nearly causing her to forget what she needed to say. But not quite; with her last shred of reasoning before his heated grasp burned holes through her sanity, she pulled back, out of his reach.
“Nothing has happened,” she said, trying to shake off the memory of his touch. “I have come to tell you that I have made an important decision.”
He blinked at her, wondering what she could possibly mean. “What decision?”
I had much more courage when I practiced this speech in front of my serving women, Diamantha thought ironically as she gazed into his dark eyes. But she had come this far and would not back down. With a deep breath, she continued.
“I have done a good deal of thinking since last we spoke,” she said. “I fear I have bestowed upon you a heavy burden by asking you to locate Robert’s body and return him home. Mayhap it will be a burden that, in time, you decide is too great to bear. Mayhap you will decide you no longer wish to bear it.”
He listened to her carefully although he did not quite understand what point she was attempting to convey. He rested his hands on his slender hips as he eyed her.
“Are you afraid I will give up the search?” he finally asked. “Lady, I can assure you that I will not. I told you that I would find Robert and return him to you, and I meant it.”
Diamantha nodded shortly as if she believed him, but by her sheer expression, it was clear that she was uncertain. She began to wring her hands. “Sir, I am trying desperately not to offend you, for that is certainly not my intention,” she said. “I know you understand how important this is to me and because it is so important, I fear that I cannot allow you alone to bear the burden. I must bear it with you. I must ensure that Robert’s body is located and properly buried. This is my task. In hindsight, I should not have delegated it to you. I should not have made you feel responsible for it. I suppose it was my grief that prompted me to do so. Therefore, I was hoping… nay, I am asking that you escort me to the fields of Falkirk where I may find my husband’s body and ensure he has a property burial.”
Cortez stared at her. It was then he noticed that she was wearing what looked like traveling clothes. He hadn’t noticed right away because the tent had been so dim, but now, he could clearly see that she was wearing a heavy woolen dress, dark blue in color, with a matching cloak. She had gloves on her small hands and her hair, that glorious mass of color, was secured in a braid that was pinned to the nape of her neck. He’d been so stupid not to notice before, but now he could see everything. The woman was dressed for travel. So she wanted to go with him? He could feel his outrage rise.
“Absolutely not,” he said flatly. “You will remain here. I will bring Robert’s body to you. I told you I would. Do you doubt my word of honor, Lady Edlington?”
Diamantha shook her head. She could tell by his manner that she had indeed offended him. “Of course not,” she assured him. “I told you that it was not my intention to insult your word, but you must understand… I cannot wait here for the months or years it might take for you to return with Robert. I would go mad with the worry, wondering if or when you were going to return. What if you are set upon by bandits? What if you somehow die in this great questing to find Robert’s body? What if you never returned? Do you not understand, sir? I would be wracked with guilt and anxiety wondering what happened. I would go to my grave as restless as my husband’s spirit. Surely I could never rest in peace.”
He was looking at her with a furrowed brow. “Is that what this is all about?” he demanded. “You would feel guilty if I never returned? If that is the case, then I absolve you of this guilt. It is my choice to go. You did not force me into it.”
She averted her gaze. “I did, in a sense,” she said softly. “I… I have been resistant to your proposal of marriage. I believe you made this bargain so that I would agree to marry you in the end. ’Tis a sincere man who will go on such a quest for a woman he wishes to marry.”
Cortez eyed her, hearing his own words reflected in her statement. His irritation was cooling. “I made the bargain to show you that I was indeed sincere,” he said. “Never did you push me into it.”
Diamantha watched him as he turned for a small, portable table that contained a wooden basin upon it. He splashed icy water on his face and neck as she stood behind him, watching his big form in the weak light. When Merlin emerged from the dim recess of the tent with a small lit taper, hardly enough light against the darkness of the tent, she lowered her gaze and kept silent until the red-headed sergeant quit the tent and shut the flap. Not knowing the sergeant, she was afraid she had already said too much in front of the man. She did not want her business with Cortez to become fodder for soldier’s gossip.
“I am afraid I must make an amendment to our bargain,” she said quietly after Merlin had left the tent.
Cortez stood up, drying his neck with a linen rag. “You may not,” he told her. “The bargain has been struck. I leave for the north this morning.”
Diamantha watched him as he moved to a small leather satchel and began pulling items out of it. “Will you not even hear me before you deny me?” she asked.
He looked at her, then, but there was impatience in his expression. “What is it, then?”
She cocked her head. “Sir, you must learn to be more patient when dealing with me,” she said as if she was scolding him. “I do not react well to harsh tones or annoyed manners.”
He lifted his eyebrows at her and his impatience increased. “You woke me out of a sound sleep to tell me that you are coming with me to Scotland and expect me not to become irritated?” When she nodded once, firmly, he shook his head with exasperation and returned to his satchel. “Once you make a bargain, lady
, you keep to it. I know that Robert was a man of great patience but unfortunately, I am not. Mayhap he allowed you to go back on your word, but I will not. I do not tolerate foolishness.”
Diamantha’s brow furrowed. “It is not foolishness I give you,” she said, feeling her ire rise. “I came to speak to you on a matter of great importance to me but mayhap the only importance you will allow is a matter of your own. If that is the case, then I suppose we are in for a turbulent marriage because any matter of importance to me should be a matter of importance to you as well. As my husband, you should be greatly concerned for anything I deem significant.”
Cortez had seen this agitated manner from her once before in George’s solar and he was coming to quickly realize that he didn’t like to see her upset. It made him feel anxious and edgy. Nay, he didn’t like that feeling at all, especially when he was trying to establish a relationship with her. They didn’t need this kind of disruption to their already tenuous association but he knew that she was reacting to his agitation. Evidently, his irritation didn’t force her into submission as it used to do with Helene. It only seemed to aggravate her. Therefore, he took a deep breath and struggled to calm himself because it wouldn’t do either one of them any good if they were both angry.
“Anything that is of great importance to you is naturally of great importance to me,” he said, sounding much more patient than he had moments earlier. “You came to discuss your thoughts with me and I rudely cut you short. Forgive me. Please tell me everything that is concerning you.”
She crossed her arms stubbornly. “You do not care to hear it.”
“I do, I swear.”
She scowled. “Tell me you are sorry for saying I was foolish.”
His irritation threatened to return but he fought it. She was, if nothing else, a plucky creature. “I never said you were foolish,” he said steadily. “I simply said I do not tolerate foolishness. Now, will you please tell me what you wished to discuss? I would very much like to hear it.”
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