by Autumn Reed
“Okay, you’re off the hook for today. I’m going to order pizza. What do you like?”
“Hey! What happened to you sharing about your relationship drama?”
Kara rolled her eyes. “I’ll tell you all about it while we’re waiting for the pizza.”
Once she’d finished the order on her phone, she stretched out on the couch. “What made you think the sweatshirt is Logan’s?”
“I noticed a vibe between you two at the Christmas party, and I’ve always wondered if there was something going on or if it was my imagination.”
“You’re perceptive. The rest of our team has no clue, which is for the best, obviously.”
“So, you two are together?”
“We are now, although we weren’t at Christmas. We’d only had one make-out session that we then chose to ignore for months.”
I smiled, feeling triumphant. “Are you not supposed to date within your team?” I’d asked the same question of Theo once, and he’d said that it wasn’t against the rules but was generally discouraged.
“Did you know that Scott didn’t want me to join the team?”
“No. Why not?”
“For exactly this reason. He didn’t want a girl coming in and screwing up his team by, well, screwing his team. At the time, I’d scoffed at his misogynistic comments.” That sounded familiar. Jackson had said the exact thing about me, in less crass terms, of course.
Kara spread out her arms. “Look at me now. Doing exactly what he expected.”
“It’s only a problem if things end badly, though, right?”
“Yeah. But, I have a long history of things ending badly in the relationship department. Why would this be any different?”
I didn’t respond, knowing I was the last person who should be giving dating advice. If only she knew how much I could relate. Between me and Kara, I was clearly the one more likely to screw up a team.
Fishing
I opened the door to find Jackson on the other side, as if he wasn't accustomed to using his key every time he came to the loft. He must have decided to jump on the make Haley feel like she’s being taken on a proper date bandwagon, even though it was the middle of the afternoon. Did Jackson, Chase, and Theo all confer on the issue?
He'd told me to dress casually, and he'd done the same. Distressed jeans and a polo the color of his eyes made him look almost youthful. I realized then that I didn’t even know how old Jackson was. My best guess put him around Knox's age, so twenty-three, perhaps? It was probably something I should find out since we were now dating. Or, at least, going on our first date. I shouldn't jump to “dating” too soon.
“Ready?” he asked, and I nodded my assent, my throat suddenly thick with nerves. It was always one step forward and two steps back with Jackson. As soon as I convinced myself that I felt comfortable with him, I'd clam right back up. Not a good sign for our day together. It was only three o'clock in the afternoon. Was he planning on spending the entire evening with me?
He opened the passenger door to his Jeep, then rounded the hood to the other side. Once we were on our way, I searched for a safe topic. Work? The weather? The first he likely wouldn’t comment on, and the second was downright lame. Surely, I could do better than that.
Thankfully, Jackson saved me from myself when he said, “I thought we'd go to the aquarium, if that sounds okay.”
“That sounds perfect!” I gushed, relieved he'd come up with an activity. I didn't think I could handle us merely staring at each other and talking for hours. Just the thought of it made my pulse spike.
“Have you ever been to one?”
“Not that I remember. It's possible my mom took me when I was little, but who knows.”
“Well, the Monterey Bay Aquarium is nice, but it's nothing like the one I went to in Japan.”
“You've been to Japan?”
His expression showed surprise. “Yeah, I lived there for a while. You didn't know?”
“How would I? You've told me almost nothing about your past.”
He nodded his head slowly, as if pondering my statement. “True. I assumed someone else had mentioned it by now.”
I scoffed. “I think the other guys value their lives too much to share any of your secrets.”
“First of all, the fact that I lived in Japan is hardly a secret. And, you make it sound like they're scared of me.”
“Maybe not scared, but you can be intimidating. I know I'm not the only one who thinks so.”
“Don't even try to suggest that Knox is intimidated by me. I know better.”
“No, but I'm sure Chase is. Possibly Theo. Liam, probably not.”
“Have Chase or Theo ever said so?”
“Not in so many words, but there are signs.”
“Such as?”
“They call you Jackson.”
“Not to state the obvious, but that is my name.”
I rolled my eyes, even though I knew he wasn’t looking at me. “Knox, Liam, and Patrick call you Jax. To me, that says they're comfortable enough with you to use your nickname. I have never once heard Chase or Theo refer to you as Jax. It's always Jackson.”
He shrugged. “I've known Knox and Liam longer.”
“You favor them.”
He glanced at me, then back to the road. “What do you mean?”
“You trust them more, you go to them for advice. You may act as their superior, but only when necessary. With Chase and Theo, you're always their boss.” I didn't know for certain if that was accurate, but I had a hunch it was. Jackson was different around Liam and Knox. It had obviously affected Ethan, and I didn't want it to get in the way of Theo and Chase being happy on the team.
Jackson was silent for so long, I wondered if he was choosing to ignore me. It probably wasn't the type of subject I should have brought up on our first date, but oh well. Jackson and I didn’t have the best track record when it came to honesty, and I was determined to change that. “I’ve never thought about it that way,” he finally said. “Do you think it bothers them?”
“It would bother me.”
“Anything else I’m doing wrong while we’re on the subject?”
I twisted my hands together, worried he was angry with me, but when I dared a look at his profile, the side of his mouth was turned up. “Are you sure you want me to answer that?”
“Probably not.”
“Why don’t you tell me about Japan instead?”
After a long pause, he started speaking, his voice low. “My dad was a successful businessman, and when I was six, his company offered him a promotion if he was willing to move to Japan. So, we did.”
“We?”
“Just my parents and me; I was an only child. Anyway, after we’d been there for almost a year, a tsunami hit. The private school I attended was inland and at a higher elevation, so I was fine. My parents didn’t make it.”
“Jackson.” I placed my hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry. That must have been terrifying.”
“The immediate aftermath is kind of a blur, but everything changed when Uncle found me.”
I sucked in a breath. “Patrick was there?”
“Yes, back then he did a lot of personal security, and he was in Japan protecting an American diplomat. After the tsunami, he volunteered with the recovery effort and met me at a shelter. He took it upon himself to figure out what happened to my parents and then tried to find family who could, or would, take me in. As it turned out, there weren’t any volunteers, so he did. I’m still not exactly sure how he pulled it off, but he managed to bring me to California with him a few days later and I never left.”
When my eyes began to burn, I attempted to dwell on the happy part of Jackson’s story rather than the tragedy. No wonder he was so determined to be the best team leader possible. Patrick saved him, and Jackson would probably do anything to make him proud.
“Wow, I don’t know what to say. It’s incredible that Patrick found you and appointed himself your guardian.”
“I k
now. It never made sense to me. Why would a single man with a demanding job take on the burden of adopting an orphan?” His voice held a tinge of awe, and I made a mental note to give Patrick a hug the next time I saw him. I didn’t even want to imagine what would have happened to Jackson without him.
“Maybe he needed you, too.”
Jackson remained quiet until he stopped at a red light. Then, he looked over at me, his brow furrowed. “What makes you say that?”
“I guess it’s the way he is with you and the other guys . . . like he was born to be a role model, if not a father. Maybe it was instinctive for him to want to take care of you.”
One eyebrow quirked. “That’s rather intuitive.”
“Just an observation.”
The car in front of us moved, and he turned back to the road. Wanting to change the subject to something less serious, I asked, “Do you speak any Japanese?”
“A little, but I didn't try to keep up with it after arriving back in the States. Honestly, I wanted to forget almost everything about Japan by then.”
Nice, Haley, you made it worse.
“I don't blame you.”
“What about you? Do you speak any other languages besides Spanish?”
“I tried to learn French once, but I didn’t make it very far. I know it’s a Romance language, but it just didn’t click.”
“Haley Jones gave up on something?”
The sarcasm in his tone was good-natured, so I laughed. “Shocking, I know.”
We spent the rest of the drive to Monterey discussing books, an effortless topic for us. I was amazed he had time to read as much as he did considering he always struck me as a workaholic. But, I should have known better than to make assumptions about Jackson; he tended to surprise me.
As we meandered through the aquarium, I felt like I was experiencing the ocean for the first time. From the fish displaying every color of the rainbow to a giant Pacific octopus and spotted jellyfish, I was enthralled. Thankfully, Jackson didn’t seem at all annoyed that I lingered at each exhibit and read the informational plaques.
When we reached a dark room with a window spanning an entire wall, I stared in awe. A school of silvery fish passed by right before a hammerhead shark and a stingray.
“This is incredible,” I whispered, as if I would scare away the graceful creatures by speaking.
He moved to stand behind me and gently pressed into my shoulders with his thumbs. When he responded, his breath brushed my neck, and I shivered. “I’m glad you think so. This happens to be one of my favorite places.”
“It is?” I turned my head to look back at him, realizing too late that the movement put my eyeline right at his mouth. How had I never noticed how full his upper lip was? After a few moments, his mouth twitched, and I whipped my head around to watch the sea life again.
“Mhmm.” His hands slid down my back and settled on my waist. He kept a few inches between our bodies, and I couldn’t decide if I was relieved or disappointed. I knew we needed to take things slowly while we got to know each other better, but I was still tempted to melt back into his chest. “I had a feeling you would agree.”
“How’d you know?” A sea turtle passed right in front of us, and I couldn’t resist pressing my hand against the window in excitement.
Jackson chuckled. “Because you’re kind of a nerd.”
“What?” I gasped and spun to face him.
He held his hands up in surrender. “It’s not a bad thing. I’m a nerd, too.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Or, you’re cleverly backtracking now that I called you out.”
“Tell me this: what’s your favorite hobby? Be honest.”
“Reading.”
“Me too.”
“Even over surfing?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, so we both love to read. I’ve never denied being a bookworm. But, I don’t think reading alone is enough. Neither one of us has an action figure collection or spends our free time role-playing online.”
“I think you may be confusing geek with nerd. And, how do you know I don’t collect action figures?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Do you?”
“No, but I could.”
“Jax,” I sighed, “you look like a freaking model. No one would ever believe you’re actually a geek, nerd, whatever, in disguise.”
“A model, huh?”
Guess I said that out loud.
My cheeks warmed, but I shrugged, pretending it wasn’t a big deal. “Like you didn’t already know that.”
His blue eyes shone with amusement. “I now know you think so, and that’s all that matters.” He put his hand on the small of my back, steering me to the next exhibit. “By the way, arguing over what constitutes a nerd is rather nerdy.”
“Fine,” I huffed out, no longer offended in the slightest. “We’re both nerds. Happy?”
“Extremely.”
It seemed that Jackson had the ability to run me hot and cold, but I always ended up feeling invigorated, challenged, when I was around him. Did he feel the same way about me?
After we left the aquarium, we walked along Cannery Row and even wandered through a few boutiques. We didn’t say much, and I liked that neither of us felt the need to fill the silence. He pointed out a few upscale restaurant options, but I directed him to a quaint bistro instead. I was enjoying the relaxed vibe of our date and didn’t want to give that up.
Over dinner, some of my earlier nervousness returned, although at a manageable level. It was impossible to sit across from Jackson one-on-one and be completely at ease, but I had trouble putting my finger on exactly why that was. He was incredibly attractive, sure, but so were the other guys. When he wasn’t in Zenith mode, he had a surprisingly laid-back quality to his demeanor.
It must be his eyes, I finally thought. Behind those indigo depths lay intense scrutiny, like he was always “on.” Always thinking and assessing.
“I noticed you called me Jax earlier.” Had I? “Based on our earlier conversation, may I assume you’re finding me less intimidating?”
“Less so, yes.”
He nodded, looking pensive. “I think both of us have enjoyed our date. Would you agree?”
Where was he going with this?
“Definitely. I loved the aquarium.”
“Then, would you be open to going on another date with me?” He held up his hand to stop me from answering. “Let me say this first. I don’t want to make things awkward, but while we’re alone, I need to make sure this is what you want. I understand why you agreed to date Theo, Knox, Chase, and Liam. But, I’m not sure you would have chosen to say yes to me.”
I bit the inside of my lip, stunned and completely at a loss for words. That very thought had entered my mind when I was still in Portland.
When I didn’t say anything, he continued. “Personally, I think we could be good together. We have a lot in common, and we have chemistry.” A grin spread across his face on that last phrase, as though he knew it would embarrass me.
My heart thumped wildly in my chest. I knew this was a pivotal moment in our relationship, and I needed to say the right thing. In the spirit of the evening, I decided to go for honesty.
“When Theo first told me about everything, I had trouble believing you were interested in me like that. I still do. I can’t help but wonder if you agreed to go along with the others to keep from hurting my feelings or something.” It sounded silly, but I didn’t know how else to express my concerns.
“You think because I haven’t been as open about my interest that I don’t want you?”
Want? Did he have to use that word? My mind flashed back to the sailboat with him and Liam again. That was happening a lot lately.
“I guess.”
“Well, for the record, I have incredible restraint. However, now that I don’t have to be restrained with you anymore, I’m hoping my interest will soon be very, very obvious.”
My breath hitched at the seductive and almost challenging lo
ok in his eyes. Was I ready to accept that challenge? The thrill his words elicited said yes.
Question & Answer
“Here.” Knox tossed me a set of keys. “Take the Jeep today.”
“Really?” Not that I minded driving Theo’s Subaru, but I’d been eyeing the white Jeep Wrangler since my return.
“I finished my modifications, and it’s ready to go.”
“You don’t want to drive it?”
“Nah. And, if you like it as much as I think you will, you can drive it instead of the Subaru from now on.”
This was beginning to feel like a setup.
“Tell me that you didn’t buy the Jeep for me.”
“I didn’t buy the Jeep for you,” he replied flatly.
“And, yet, I’m having a hard time believing you.”
“I picked it up this summer, long before you came home.”
“Right.” I eyed him skeptically. “You know, I’m going to discover your tell one day.”
“So you keep saying,” he said with a lopsided grin. “Ready for your first day?”
“I guess. I’m not as nervous as I thought I’d be. Somehow, it feels right.”
“Good. Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to the training center?”
“Yeah, but thanks.”
I finished packing my lunch, noticing a small note tucked inside my bag in Chase’s handwriting. Smiling at the sweet gesture, I looked forward to reading it later.
“Time for me to go.” I slung my bag over my shoulder, wondering what Knox was thinking but assuming he’d never tell me.
“I’ll walk out with you.”
When we reached the Jeep, he unexpectedly pulled me into his strong arms, and I buried my head in his chest. My heart soared when he squeezed me and placed a kiss on the top of my head.
“What was that for?”
He shrugged. “Do I need an excuse to hug you?”
“Never.”
“I’d like to take you somewhere this Saturday.”
