She tried to free herself from Grace’s hold, but she was no match for Grace. A heaviness grew in her heart and she collapsed onto the ground. Grace crouched beside her and hugged her. Brianna curled into a ball and wept. She wept for the baby she’d loved and lost. She'd never expected to love him, but when Aedan was born, waves of love and pity flowed through her from the moment she held him.
She didn’t even know who his father was—it could have been either of them. Being born prematurely, Aedan had been given a fifty-fifty chance of living, but despite the odds, he survived. Brianna brought him home to the apartment she and Grace lived in, and for two months, she cared for her son. Lying on her bed, she often held him close while he slept. He needed her, and she needed him. But then he got sick.
That night, Brianna woke to Aedan wheezing. She jumped out of bed and shook Grace. Panic set in. “We need to get Aedan to the hospital, Grace.” Quickly dressing, she bundled Aedan in a blanket and raced out the door. Grace hailed a taxi. Brianna's entire focus was on coaxing Aedan to breathe, but his tiny body shuddered with every weak breath he took. His face paled to a bluish tinge, and then he stopped breathing.
There was nothing the doctors could do. He’d developed pneumonia and his weak lungs couldn't handle it. She blamed herself. If only she’d looked after him better. If only they’d had better heating. It wasn’t Grace’s fault… she’d done her best to provide for them after fleeing Aunt Hilda’s, but she was only seventeen and her meagre wage from working at the hotel barely paid the rent. If only Aedan had lived, things would have been different.
A seagull cried overhead, jolting her out of her memory.
“Come on Bibi, we need to go.” Grace helped her to stand. The wind had eased, but heavy clouds had rolled in from the sea and rain was falling. She hadn't even noticed.
What was ahead for her? She’d come so close to ending it all, but what now? There was no end in sight—nothing was going to change. She needed a hit.
Grace breathed a sigh of relief when she finally got Brianna back in the car. This time she thought Brianna might really do it. In some ways, it would have been easier if she had. How was she going to help her? Grace didn't want to admit defeat, but she had no answers. It would only be a matter of time before Bibi stole money off her and disappeared. She couldn't watch her twenty-four seven. Then what would she do? Start all over again? Grace felt ill at the thought.
Why couldn't Brianna just leave it all behind her and get on with life? Grace took a moment and settled herself before starting the engine. Turning to look at Brianna, her heart softened and she reached out and squeezed Brianna’s hand. Tears welled in Brianna’s eyes. Grace handed her a tissue. “It’ll be all right, Bibi. Not much longer now.” But Grace didn’t believe it, so how could she expect Brianna to?
Grace stared out at the dark rolling sea. Out there somewhere was Scotland. On a clear day, Grace had been told you could see it. Maybe she should take Brianna to Danny and Lizzy’s place after all. Maybe they had some answers, as long as they didn't try to push God down her throat. She’d give it some thought.
Days passed. Grace and Brianna drove through town after town. They visited castle after castle, drank copious amounts of coffee and spent hours upon hours walking and driving, but one day, when Grace came out of the shower and found the contents of her purse strewn all over her bed and Brianna missing, she'd had enough. She quickly dressed and threw their bags into the car and raced out to find her. It wasn't hard. She headed straight for the local pub. Brianna was there. She hadn't bought any drugs, but it was only a matter of time.
Grace forced Brianna into the car and headed straight to Caleb and Caitlin's.
It was all organised. Brianna had the required medical assessment and got accepted into the Elim Community Centre, the place Danny and Lizzy managed, and within a week, Grace was standing at the airport with Brianna saying goodbye to Caleb and Caitlin. She’d half expected Niall to be there. Scanning the departure lounge, her heart fell. He wasn't there. But why would he be? She hadn't even told him she was back in Belfast after the trip with Brianna. She could have called him, but if she was ever going to be able to forget him, she had to force herself to not even think about him.
“Come here, sis,” Caleb pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. “We’ll be praying for you both.”
Grace cringed. She didn’t need Caleb’s prayers, but hugged him anyway. “Thank you, Caleb.” She smiled into his eyes. Caleb meant well, and if he was happy praying, who was she to stop him?
He gave her a kiss and let her go when final boarding was called. She picked up her carry-on luggage and walked slightly ahead of Brianna, giving a final wave before she entered the plane.
Grace turned to make sure Brianna was still following. They’d come this far, she couldn't let Brianna bail on her now. She was there, but she wore a vacant look on her face, as if it was all too much for her. The past week, since the day Brianna had almost jumped, she'd been quiet and withdrawn, as if she didn’t care whether she lived or died, and although it’d been easier on Grace, it had also made her angry. Grace had often felt like shaking Brianna and yelling at her. Okay, she’d been through a lot, but why couldn't she just pull herself together? Grace didn't understand.
Brianna shrugged and raised her eyes just enough to meet Grace’s gaze. Her eyes were dull and lifeless. Grace had thought flying for the first time might have excited her a little, but no… seemed she didn't care about anything. Grace was starting to doubt whether anything or anyone would ever get through to her. Danny and Lizzy were Brianna's last options. If they couldn’t help her, Grace had no idea who could.
Chapter 9
Elim Community Centre - outside Fort William, Scotland
“Come on, Daniel, we don’t want to be late.” Lizzy drummed her fingers on the door-frame of her husband's office and glared at him. What was he doing at his desk again?
Daniel glanced up and met Lizzy’s gaze. “I’m coming—give me a minute.” He quickly finished what he was doing and closed his notebook before grabbing his jacket from the back of the door. He placed a kiss on Lizzy’s cheek and flashed her a cheeky grin. “What’s the matter, love?”
Lizzy humphed, but found it impossible not to return his disarming smile. She couldn’t stay angry with Daniel for long, and he knew it. “Nothing, I just want to be early for once in our lives, that’s all. And we need to leave before the children come back from their walk.”
“Well come on then, let’s go.” He grabbed her hand and led her out of the house to the waiting van.
As they drove down the rough track leading to the small highland village of Glen Brannie, Lizzy snuggled closer to Daniel and placed her hand on his leg. Mist still covered the top of Ben Nevis, but there was hope the day would be fine and sunny. Lizzy rarely went anywhere these days without their three young children, and rarely did she and Daniel leave the Community alone, so this was a special treat. Not that she minded sharing her husband with the staff and students of the community. She was still in awe of the way God had blessed them.
Nobody had expected their marriage to last. She'd been distraught after Mathew, the handsome student minister she'd loved dearly, broke their relationship without explanation. Daniel had come into her life when she was the most vulnerable and had swept her off her feet and helped her forget about Mathew. For a time. It wasn’t long before Lizzy knew she’d made a mistake by marrying Daniel. She didn’t know him, and when he started drinking and mistreating her, all she could do was trust God to sort out her mess. And sort it He did. God had blessed them abundantly since the day Daniel gave his heart to the Lord following a car accident that almost took his life. Three beautiful children, a wonderful job they could never have dreamed of, and a ministry that gave hope to those who found themselves struggling with life, just like Daniel had. And now they had the opportunity to minister to Daniel’s two sisters.
Lizzy's heart warmed as Daniel skilfully weaved the community van along the track that wasn't mu
ch wider than the tracks on the surrounding mountains that only the sheep and goats could navigate.
She'd only met Grace once when she and Daniel and baby Dillon went to Belfast for Daniel's Da's funeral just over three years ago. Grace had built so many walls around her, it had been difficult to talk with her, but by the time the week was over, Lizzy felt that she'd connected with Grace just a little, and she and Daniel had hope that one day, Grace might reach out to them. And that day had arrived.
Brianna she had yet to meet. Daniel had told her a little about their early years before all the children were separated following their Mam’s death, but he didn’t know Brianna as well as he knew Grace. He was nervous about meeting them, even though he said he wasn’t. All week he’d been on edge, not his normal, cheery self. He’d cleaned the room they’d set aside for Grace three times. “She won’t be happy if there’s even a speck of dirt, Lizzy. You’ve seen her apartment.” And he’d gone over the basic programme Brianna would be starting as soon as she arrived no fewer than ten times. Normally, whenever new students arrived, they’d go through a week of settling in before joining in with the main programme, but Daniel wanted to review the whole process. Not because the existing strategy wasn’t working, just because it was his own sister who was coming.
She'd told him to stop it and trust God to touch their hearts. They'd prayed for both Grace and Brianna every morning and every night since the day they received the phone call. But Lizzy couldn't blame him for being anxious. Caleb had told them that Brianna was a mess and Grace wasn't much better—she just didn't know it.
“How are you doing, Daniel?” Lizzy turned her head and smiled at him. His dark hair was still as curly and unruly as ever, but she wouldn't have it any other way.
“I’ll be better once they’re here, Liz. I bet they’re nervous too. They have no idea what they’re coming to." He chuckled as he changed down a gear to turn onto the A82 towards Inverness. "I can just see Grace’s face when she sees the place. She might turn around and leave straight away.”
“Stop it, Daniel. It’ll be fine. You’re underestimating her. She’s made the decision to come because she cares about Brianna, so she’ll handle it. It’s not that bad, anyway.”
“It’s not that great, either, Lizzy. You know that.”
She raised her brow. "It's better than when we came…”
“Yes, but it’s not what you’d call a fancy manor house.”
“No, but it’s warm and welcoming, and that’s the most important thing. She’ll be fine, Daniel. Stop worrying.”
Daniel let out a slow breath. “Okay, love. I’ll try.” He reached down and squeezed her hand.
“I wonder how the kids are.”
“Now you’re the one worrying.”
“I’m not worrying.”
“Yes you are.”
She chuckled. “Maybe just a little. I hope Mia’s coping with Dillon. He’s being a very cheeky four-year old of late.”
“She’ll be fine with him, Liz. It’s only you he misbehaves for.”
Lizzy let out a sigh. “I know. I guess it’s normal.”
“And Mia’s great with the twins, so don’t worry about them, love.” Daniel shot her a smile that gave her confidence that everything would be okay with her not there.
He was right. Mia, the young woman they’d employed to be the children’s nanny was the eldest of six children and had a wonderful way with their three. Lizzy had nothing to worry about. Still, they could be a handful at times.
For the remainder of the hour and a half trip to the airport, Lizzy and Daniel chatted about anything and everything, and enjoyed their brief time together knowing that as soon as his sisters arrived, everything would change.
Brianna grabbed Grace’s hand as the plane accelerated and began racing down the runway. Her heart pounded and she couldn’t move. She was going to die, she knew it. Strange, because when she’d decided to jump off the cliff just a week or so ago, she wasn’t nearly as frightened as she was now. Why had she let Grace talk her into this? She braced herself as the plane began to lift. How was it possible for something this big to stay in the air?
Grace squeezed her hand. “It’s okay, Bibi. This is normal.”
Normal? Who for? The noise was too much. She was going to vomit, or pass out. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the seat, all the while gripping Grace’s hand as the plane banked left, and then right before steadily climbing. Her breathing slowed as the plane levelled, and she dared open her eyes. She had the window seat, but she hadn’t looked out, until now. Her eyes widened as she took in the city of Belfast. It was so little from up here. And the fields spread out like patchwork. Who would have thought? She couldn't tear her eyes away—this was magic. She should have looked earlier. She’d survived, and it was amazing. Not until land was replaced by sea did she tear her eyes away and settle in her seat.
“See, I told you you’d be fine.” Chuckling, Grace patted Brianna’s hand.
“It’s way better than I thought.” Brianna relaxed in her seat, but when the pilot announced they’d be landing in Inverness in less than twenty minutes, she tensed again. “I don’t want to do this, Grace.”
Grace sighed. “Do what, Bibi?"
"This." She stared Grace down.
Grace didn't flinch. "It's too late, Brianna. Daniel and Lizzy will be waiting for us.”
“I'll just stay on the plane. You can't make me get off."
“You can’t do that. You have to get off.”
Slumping in her seat, Brianna pursed her lips and folded her arms. Just watch me.
Grace felt the same, although she couldn't say so to Brianna. What had made her agree to this nonsense? How could Danny and Lizzy do what she herself hadn’t been able to do? Brianna didn’t want to change. How many chances had she had over the years? Caleb and Caitlin had gone out of their way on numerous occasions to help her, but she’d only thrown it back in their faces each time. How many times had they picked her up off the streets and taken her to hospital and then to rehab? None of it had made any difference. Brianna always returned to the gutter.
Grace sighed. Maybe she should have been brave enough years ago and reported those cousins to the police rather than be intimidated by Aunt Hilda’s threats to disclose what she knew about the bombing. If Grace had been brave enough, maybe Brianna’s life would have turned out differently. But so would have hers. Grace gulped. It wasn’t too late. Maybe she should do it and face the consequences, even if that included prison, which no doubt it would if Aunt Hilda followed through with her threats.
It would be Brianna’s word against the cousins, but surely Grace’s testimony would hold more weight now than it would have years ago. Her stomach tightened. But not if she was charged with murder. Aunt Hilda would say that Brianna had encouraged the boys, but it was the opposite. Both she and Brianna hated Uncle Dougall and their cousins. No way would Brianna have encouraged them. She’d just been more trusting than Grace, and she’d paid the price.
The more Grace thought about it, the more determined she became. Proving the two of them guilty of rape would surely free Brianna once and for all from her demons. She’d start the ball rolling as soon as she could. It would mean going back to Londonderry with Brianna, but she'd do it if it put an end to Brianna’s problems. And Aunt Hilda’s threats? Well, so what if she did have the piece of paper she said she had? It proved nothing. Any good lawyer would get her off, and if they didn’t, she'd go to prison so Brianna could be free. Grace closed her eyes as a cold chill ran through her body. If she was really prepared to do it, why hadn't she done it already?
The flight attendant tapped her on the shoulder. “Seat up, miss.” Grace’s eyes shot open. She nodded and then straightened her seat. She took a deep, slow breath and turned to look at Brianna. Her seat was already upright, and her hands were clenched and her eyes squeezed shut. Was she nervous about landing, or about meeting Danny and Lizzy? Or both? It was all a mistake. She shouldn't have brought he
r here.
Brianna didn't move from her seat until the flight attendant told her she had to get up. They were last off. Brianna dragged her feet the whole way. She vomited in the toilet, and Grace had to drag her along. If there was any way to turn around, Grace would have taken it. They paused before taking the final step. Turning to face her, Grace lifted Brianna's chin and forced her sister to make eye contact. “We won't stay if you don’t want to. Okay? We'll go back whenever you want.”
Brianna's eyes widened. "Are you just tricking me?"
Grace sighed. "No, I mean it. You say the word, and we'll leave."
Brianna narrowed her eyes. "So why can't we leave now?"
Grace sucked in a breath. "Just give it a go, Bibi. You never know. It might just work."
She rolled her eyes. "I doubt it."
Grace stepped forward and hugged her. "Come on, let's go."
Chapter 10
Grace squeezed Brianna’s hand and drew a deep breath as she and Brianna stepped into the Arrivals Hall. Scanning the waiting faces, she easily spotted Daniel and Lizzy. Daniel had put on a little weight since she’d last seen him, the day he and Lizzy sailed back to England after Da’s funeral, but apart from that, he still wore that cheeky grin and she’d know him anywhere. Lizzy, on the other hand, had changed a lot. Her hair was cut shorter into a bob. It suited her. And she’d lost weight. Must be all the running around after those children.
There were hugs all round, but Brianna held back. Lizzy seemed to understand and just gave her a warm smile. Daniel put both his hands on Brianna's shoulders, his face splitting into a wide grin. Grace winced. Brianna hated being the centre of attention. But something was happening as Brianna met Danny’s gaze, as if scales were falling from her eyes and she was remembering her big brother whom she hadn’t seen since she was shipped off to Aunt Hilda's at age ten. Tears rolled down Brianna's cheeks.
Secrets and Sacrifice: A Christian Romance (The Shadows Series Book 4) Page 5
