An Unmarried Lady

by Willman, Anna

  James laughed at his friend’s nonsense, but said, “It will not do, Charles, really I could not consider it. We are no longer grubby school boys spinning fairy tales of royal treasure and unspeakable dangers. Besides, how am I to ask questions and go about the place and learn what I need to know about the property if I pretend to be you. It would be most improper behavior in a friend.”

  “Well, I could ask questions of your devising and relay the answers on to you, but really that sounds most tedious.”

  “Yes indeed, and I’ve no mind to put my business into your hands my dear Charles, for all that we’ve been friends these many years. No, it won’t do. The idea is absurd!”

  Charles’ handsome face grew thoughtful. “But I would indeed put my business in your hands, James. That is, I would if you were my man of business.”

  James expression caught. “If I were your…” He gave a shout of laughter, but then sobered. “But no, no. I must not. To play such a charade upon her would be unpardonable.”

  “But it is her fault after all for being bad tempered and taking you into such dislike without even meeting you. And it is her own father’s wish. Come now, James, when were you ever a chicken heart? This is too good a jest to let it pass us by! Just think how Shakespeare would have loved it!”

  “ ‘All the world’s a stage!’ ” James chuckled.

  “Quite so, my friend. ‘The play’s the thing.’ Only let’s us keep our consciences out of it. Come now, James, it could be worse. At least no one’s asking you to put on petticoats. Do say you will do it. After all, if she likes you enough, she will forgive you, and marry you to please her father. If she likes you not, there is no real harm done. But if you go as yourself, she will never even take a look at you.”

  “But I have no interest in her ‘taking a look’. I have had no idea of taking a wife. I should not know what to do with one.”

  “Well then, as you go about the estate learning all you wish to know as my man of business, I shall court the fubsy-faced heiress myself, for my lands are in just as sad condition as are yours.”

  “Then you would win her under false pretenses.”

  “But all to her advantage, for in me, she would marry both land and a Viscount, whereas in you there is only the land.”

  James could not help but smile, though he felt his friend’s jibes showed a sad lack of sensibility. “It is too unkind,” he protested. “We cannot know what this lady is like, or what she wants.”

  “Well what a gudgeon! She wants what every female wants – a husband and a house filled with brats. Really James, your knowledge of the fairer sex is dismally lacking. I never thought to be grateful for having been saddled with sisters, but I can see that they have served their purpose after all. Ease your conscience, my friend. We shall be making this ape-leader’s dreams come true. Besides, you are not the author of this farce. Let us go and find out what the old gentleman has in mind. Count on it, he knows his daughter best.”

  News from the front arrived the next day when Tibley, the Captain’s former batman, showed up on his doorstep. “Old Boney’s done for and that’s a fact!” He declared. “We crossed into France more than three weeks ago and have been pushing them Froggies straight back to Paris, which is no more than they deserve. I’d be there still, but I got word me ma was ailing bad and it didn’t seem fitt’n to leave her to pass from this here world all solitary like, so I applied for a leave, and the Major, bless ‘im, said I could come home, seein’ as how they didn’t have no urgent need for me no more. Well now I might have saved myself the trouble, ‘cause no sooner I got home than the old dear took a turn for the better. Happen it’s for the best, though. I’ve got some time on my hands and it looks to me like you’re needin’ someone what can take things in hand around here.”

  James laughed and said he was welcome to stay, and Charles, arriving later in the day, was instantly full of ideas on how to fit the batman into their adventure. “It’s just the thing, for I’ve been wracking my brains on what we should do for a valet, for it would not do to arrive at Lynnfield without one. I’d bring my own, but Barnes has known me since I was no more than a child and would never countenance the kind of charade we are proposing to perform. No, we will have to stop at Challon on the way and leave Barnes there. He’ll be suspicious, but he won’t be able to do anything about it. But a batman! It is quite expected for a batman to serve both as a groom and a valet, and Tibley will do very well. In fact, I’ve a tidy little yellow chaise at Challon I purchased not long before buying my commission that will take us to Lynnfield quite in style, and provide for some entertainment as well, for it is very nicely sprung and quite snug when the hood is up, just the thing for taking our pug-faced heiress out for a drive even in the November damp. Yes, we’ll stop by Challon. It’s a pity my Mama and sisters are residing in the London house this winter, for I know they’d like to see you again, but come to think of it, even that’s a fortunate circumstance, because it would be just like Barnes to tell my mother his suspicions and then we would be in the suds.”

  A few inquiries confirmed Tibley’s war news and James concluded with only a very slight pang that it was indeed time to sell out. He had never regarded the military life as a career, he had no inclination for the war in America, and with Napoleon now in full retreat, the urge to duty that had first inspired him to join was satisfied.

  November was upon them and a week at Challon with nothing much to do but worry left James harboring new doubts.

  “How should I even consider marriage,” he complained to Charles, “when I am still so unsure of what direction my life will take? It is true that inheriting this run down estate may put a period to my wretched aimlessness and give me a task to set my mind to, but I do not know yet if there is anything left there for me to salvage. Miss Howard may have sound reasons for rejecting her father’s proposal. Lynnfield may not be worth the saving, and if that is so, then what have I after all to offer a wife? I have no conversation and have yet to distinguish myself in any way.”

  “Not distinguished? You are too modest, Charles. Why you were near the top of your class at Oxford, and everyone knows that you were one of the bravest officers in our brigade in Spain.”

  “Oh, you know military feats are well enough for campfire tales and such nonsense, but not much use here in England. And what did I do with my Oxford honors? You know as well as I do that I was going nowhere in a hand basket before I signed up to fight Bonaparte.”

  “Nonsense, James! You were all wound up over the loss of your parents – a blow like that will cause any man to founder for a while. Well, you know yourself you were about to take on that very prestigious position at St. Michael’s Academy, when the carriage overturned and you were forced to return home and play nursemaid those long months.”

  “And when it was over, did I distinguish myself?”

  “Well, indeed you did, for it was not long after that that we bought our colors and headed off to Spain. Now I want to hear no more of this idiocy, James. Distinguished! Pshaw! Who bothers about such stuff! The drab ought to be overjoyed to win such a husband, and if she is not, well, we will still have had another grand lark. Just think, a great treasure awaits us at Lynnfield. Why, we may be able to surpass the adventures we dreamed of when we were boys.”

  James had to laugh at his friend’s optimism, and Tibley, who was as quick as the next man to relish a good prank, joined Charles in answering each scruple and soothing each fear, abjuring his employer to leave go of the nonsense and do as he was bid. “For the old gentleman’s the Head of your family, sir, and it’s your plain duty to respect his better judgment. Lord, I never knew you for such a puddin’ heart! Beggin’ your pardon, Captain, for expressin’ myself so boldly.” Privately the batman considered the old gentleman sounded a bit queer in the attic, but that didn’t alter the fact of his familial authority. “Fair’s fair after all,” he proclaimed somewhat mysteriously. “It won’t be the first time a citadel is taken by a ruse rather than by the
brute force of arms.”

  CHAPTER NINE: In which the Presumptive Heir arrives at Lynnfield.

  Elaine and Anne returned to Lynnfield a good week before the presumptive heir (and suitor) was expected to arrive. At their father’s urging, they spent their first full day at home in the library, working with Libby and Mary to glean whatever pound notes and papers were to be found in the remaining volumes. Elaine set aside another seventeen books to offer for sale and another two that seemed to her might be of interest to a serious collector. Mr. Thompson, in London, had shown a good deal of interest in the old books she had brought to him and promised to assess their value carefully and locate a buyer for them. He had also urged her to let him know immediately if she came across any others of their kind, so she now was quite pleased to be able to write him within just a few days of their return home. With their latest findings of cash alone, she felt that they would manage, even if the sale of books should prove a disappointment, and based on Mr. Thompson’s enthusiasm for the project, she felt confident that it would not.

  The papers collected were all carefully brought into the Green Parlor and deposited in Mr. Howard’s wooden box. It was something of a mystery to Elaine why her father was so determined to collect each scrap of paper, but she forbore to quiz him about it, as any suggestion that anyone might help him sort through the papers or handle them in any way immediately brought such a strained look to his face that she felt her heart go out to him.

  Mr. Howard had not fared very well during their absence. Libby informed her that he had insisted upon taking some of the best port after his dinner and consequently suffered a serious bout of indigestion the day after his daughters had left for London, and when the doctor’s prescribed dosage of milk thistle had not had its prescriptive effect, he had needed to be dosed with laudanum for several days running to ease the pain. Indeed Elaine thought him both paler and more tired than before and found herself less willing to tax him with business matters than before, dealing quietly with Chudleigh instead and refraining from involving the frail old man unless it was absolutely essential.

  Her thoughts were in any case soon distracted by the arrival of the presumptive heir, Captain James Howard, his batman, and his man of business, one Philip Merrival. The two gentlemen came up the drive in a chaise of a rather startling shade of yellow which contrasted sharply with an excess of oriental style black trim. The batman rode behind them with their riding horses and what luggage they required that would not fit into the limited confines of the carriage.

  Captain Howard was fully as decorative as his chaise and quite impressive in his appearance, Elaine thought, as Roberts ushered the two gentlemen into the Blue Drawing Room where both she and Anne had positioned themselves to receive them. Whereas most people dressed with the intent of correcting a fault of figure or complexion, in the Captain’s case it was quite the other way around. His perfection of form made even the sartorial extremes that he had adopted take on a certain distinction. He had wide shoulders, an athletic physique, and a countenance that could only be called beautiful. He was blessed with regular features, an aquiline nose, eyes of an intense blue framed by dark eyelashes, and a mouth that moved readily into a most charming smile. Since the smiling lips invariably found an echo in his eyes, she could not doubt the sincerity of his good humor. His fair hair blended gold and chestnut, a lighter version of her own hair coloring. With an effort, Elaine reminded herself that she was not prepared to like the gentleman and turned a welcoming smile instead onto the rather plainer Mr. Merrival. Unfortunately that gentleman appeared to have no conversation at all and merely stared at her in a manner she could not but consider to border on rudeness.

  “A paragon indeed! And your sister as well. Two enchanting young ladies ensconced in the heart of Hertfordshire. A thousand pardons Miss Howard for all the wrong I have done you in my thoughts. I did not expect to find such beauty closeted here at Lynnfield.” Captain Howard was clearly willing to step into the breach caused by his companion’s awkward silence.

  “Empty compliments do not amuse me,” Elaine replied coolly. “Pray won’t you, both of you, come and sit down for refreshment, while your portmanteaus are being brought upstairs?”

  She gestured towards the fireplace, where chairs had been set comfortably around the tea tray. She noticed that Mr. Merrival walked with a slight limp and was about to offer him an overstuffed armchair, but it seemed he preferred a firmer support, for he had already selected a straighter backed armchair dating back to the time of Queen Anne.

  The conversation took a more conventional turn then, for they spoke of the weather and the conditions of the roads and the very good news from the front. Mr. Merrival, finally finding his tongue, offered condolences upon the loss of their brother and spoke quite movingly, Elaine thought, which fact made her look upon him in a more conciliating manner. It seemed this man of business was not merely an employee but the captain’s former comrade at arms in Spain – a military man who had met and conversed with their dear brother. Her handsome cousin quickly added his words of condolence, which she accepted with a carefully measured reserve. Anne too offered her thanks to the gentlemen, blushing quite prettily, but otherwise managing the exchange of words with a quiet assurance and genuine warmth that pleased Elaine. She would not be sending a gawking school girl to Town this spring, but a well mannered young lady with a good deal of social grace.

  It was with some surprise that she learned that her cousin intended for his man of business to meet with Chudleigh to learn about the estate rather than doing so himself, but she did not demur, for she knew she would be doing a great deal of the explaining and answering of questions, and his disinterest, though lamentable, suited her own purpose of avoiding his company whenever possible. She felt she would much prefer the company of the awkward mouse to that of the flamboyant and flattering Captain Howard.

  Her father was too tired to come down for dinner but insisted on her bringing their visitors up to the Green Parlor afterwards and then leaving them alone with him. She had warned them not to overtire him and was satisfied when they re-emerged no more than ten minutes later. She went in to say goodnight and found her father looking most pleased with himself.

  “A handsome fellow, is he not, this cousin of ours?”

  ‘His manners are rather too easy to suit my taste,” she replied. “I think Mr. Merrival has the firmer character. At least he doesn’t dress up like a popinjay. I very much fear that our cousin is what they call a Bartholomew Baby.”

  “Oh well, I never heard there was any real harm in the Dandy set. Mr. Merrival seems to prefer a more sober cut to his cloth. Pity he’s such a puny thing.”

  “I found Mr. Merrival to be most unexceptional in every way. A little shy perhaps, which makes him a bit awkward, but I think there may be an interesting mind behind those spectacles.”

  “Oh well, he need not concern us, in any case. I’m tired now, my dear. Would you call Carney for me? I want to go to bed.”

  The next morning, Elaine and Anne encountered Mr. Merrival at the breakfast table. Captain Howard, it seemed, required more time to complete his exquisite attire and would not be ready to make his way down to breakfast for some time yet. Mr. Merrival ate in silence, answering the sisters’ conversational efforts with a rather painful smile and one or two word responses.

  “I fear I am a poor conversationalist,” he ventured at last, when Elaine felt she was nearing a point of exasperation. “I hope you will forgive me.”

  Warm-hearted Anne answered him. “I know just how it is!” she sympathized. “For I am often quite tongue-tied when in a new situation.”

  Elaine smiled and added, “I hope you will soon find yourself growing more comfortable, for I’m sure there is nothing more off putting than finding yourself in a house where you know no one and no one knows you.”

  Touched by the sisters’ efforts to set him at ease, Mr. Merrival replied, “It is just that I cannot help but feel that I am, er, imposing upon you most abo
minably.” He hesitated a moment and then added, “It cannot be comfortable for you to have two strangers foisted upon you, and to be obliged to meet with complaisance the loss of your beloved home.”

  “Well, as that is a matter that neither you nor I, nor indeed Captain Howard, can alter in any way, we must make the best of it. I certainly hope you will feel most welcome here, though I’m afraid that you may find our standards of hospitality sadly lowered. You will soon find, when we go over the books, that this house is being run on the most economical of standards. I only hope we do not disappoint you with the simple quality of our fare. I’m afraid we more or less take potluck these days.”

  “Oh never apologize. Ch-, James and I are used to quite rough soldier’s fare, you know. We are delighted to be treated to such good plain English cooking.” But as he spoke, he flushed quite red, looking shamefaced, and Elaine had not missed what appeared to be a slip of the tongue, which she suspected was an effort to hide the fact that the two gentlemen had privately lamented the paucity of their dinner. Well, she would not be sorry if a distaste for plain fare cut their visit short. Certainly she had no plans to order up more extravagant meals for their benefit. It was hard enough on her budget to be feeding three more and while the Captain might choose to waste his money on fine dining or whatever else he saw fit to spend it on once he inherited Lynnfield, she had no intention of relaxing her commitment to turning both house and lands over to him in as good a condition as was possible.

  She turned the conversation, commenting that the name Merrival seemed somewhat familiar to her and wondering whether he had relations in London that she might have met four years ago. He denied it, flushing even redder, and even stammering as he replied. Clearly the man was hopeless.