by Dara Kent
A scream erupted from my throat, and I stumbled back. “What’s happening? Is there a demon?”
“Help me!”
Gasping on a strangled cry, my eyes flew open, the familiar ceiling of my bedroom coming into view. “What the fuck was that?”
The bed creaked, Jensen sitting down beside me, the lines of his face etched with concern. “How are you feeling?”
My muscles ached, and my head pounded. Aside from that, I didn’t feel all that bad. “Fine.”
“What do you remember?”
“Remember? Do you want me to tell you who I am and where I live? Do I have a concussion?”
Normally, my sarcastic comments brought a touch of mirth to Jensen’s gaze or a wry quirk to his lips. Even when we were fighting, I could pick up on traces of how I amused him. He enjoyed my snark. It was one of the reasons he kept coming back for more Riss. I kept him on his toes in all things. However, at the moment, nothing but worry swirled in the depths of his baby blues, his lips pressed into a thin line, the corners pushing down.
Scooching up in bed, I leaned against the headboard, dread brewing in my gut. “What is it? What happened?”
He continued to study me for a moment before picking up my hand. His thumb rubbed a circular pattern in my palm, relaxing me. “I guess Lily’s right. I guess you’re just sick.” His gaze flicked away briefly, and he swallowed, his Adam’s apple dancing in his throat.
“Liar,” I hissed. “You’re not telling me something.”
He forced a smile, the emotion not reaching his eyes. “You’ll be fine.” He leaned forward, pressing his firm lips against my forehead. His spicy scent swirled around me, and my arms shot out to encircle his waist.
“Hey,” my voice dropped low, “how about joining me in bed for a while?” I let my hands trail down to rest on his ass, squeezing. Hmm … come to mama. Seriously, he has the best backside I’ve ever seen.
“Val,” he warned, wriggling to extradite himself from my grabby hands. “You’re sick.”
“And endorphins make sick people feel better. You know what would give me lots of endorphins? A handful of orgasms.”
He chuckled. “You’re worse than me sometimes.”
“I’m a woman with needs.”
He cupped my cheeks, staring into my eyes, the indecision in his on display.
Time to be a bit more persuasive. In one smooth move, I jumped up, and managed to flip him onto his back. With my knees straddling his hips, I pressed him into the bed, his hands held above his head in my tight grip.
“Jensen,” I purred, “I need you.”
“Fuck, I love you.” Rolling us over, he reversed our position, the hard length of his body pinning me to the mattress.
I lifted my pelvis, rubbing against him, causing a groan to escape his lips.
“Jensen, please. I need you now. What’s the hold up?” Usually with the slightest bit of encouragement, even when we hadn’t been a couple, he would take over, giving me exactly what I wanted. But hesitation was making him falter.
His chest heaved, his fingers digging into my wrists. “I have an extremely pressing matter to attend to.”
I ground against him again, laughing. “Yes, you do have an extremely pressing matter to attend to. Now get to it.”
His eyes twinkled. “I set myself up for that one.” He arched his middle, breaking contact with me, much to my complete and utter disappointment. “But I mean it. As much as I want to right now, I can’t.”
“A quickie then. That’s all I’m asking for.” Suddenly it was about more than just sex, it was a test. For what? I wasn’t exactly sure, but I couldn’t let him walk away. “Jensen, please.” I stopped myself just short of whining, which I wasn’t above doing, and I would. Even if I was hoping I didn’t have to.
He pulled away from me fully, standing tall. “I’m sorry. I have business to take care of. It’s important.” Adjusting himself, he hissed under his breath, “But we are picking this back up as soon as I get done.”
“Didn’t you have questions for me when I first woke up? You know, before I tried to seduce you?” And failed. Although, if I could keep him around a bit longer maybe my second shot would hit its mark.
“I’m sure Lily’s eager to see you. She can talk to you about everything.”
“Talk to me about what?” Moths divebombed my stomach, causing nausea to roil my gut. The nightmare mingled with flashes from the mansion were beginning to play across my mind. “What am I supposed to remember?”
Jensen ran a hand through his hair, pieces sticking up at odd angles. “Lily,” he called, “you can come in now.”
My sister burst into my room, tripping over her own feet, and landing awkwardly at the end of my bed. “Ew, she muttered. “I don’t want to sit on your sex sheets.”
I scowled. “Unfortunately, we did not just have sex.”
She tucked her hair behind her ears. “Not just now, but you probably did recently.”
Jensen slipped from my room silently, glancing back at me with regret before I heard him trot down the stairs.
Folding my hands in my lap, I stared Lily down. “Now, what the hell is going on?”
She situated herself across the room in my overstuffed chair, kicking her feet up. “How are you feeling?”
I huffed out a long breath, several pieces of hair floating around my face. “Fine. I wish everyone would stop asking that. I feel fine.”
“You were sick.” She leaned forward, gaze darting over me. “What do you remember?”
I threw my hands up in the air. “Did you and Jensen write a script? Seriously, what the fuck? Just tell me what all the concern is about!”
Lily crossed her arms over her chest, her cheeks tinged pink. “I’ll tell you what it’s about. You were sick and you pushed yourself to the point of snapping. You almost cost us the only lead we have to date.”
“He deserves to die. Human or not, he’s a murderer. He was crazed. He was going straight for Lily.” An echo of my frenzied voice replayed in my head, the accompanying images following.
“Fuck. I almost killed the guy.” I sat up straighter, my heart setting off at a gallop. “Or did I?” I glanced at my hands, shuddering. “There was so much blood.” Which didn’t bother me at the time. Nor did killing our only lead before we got the information we needed. Why did I do that?
Then another memory surfaced. “Silence him,” an insidious voice slithered through my mind.
Sweat trickled down my spine, nausea resurfacing. There had been someone or something in my head. It commanded me, and I listened.
I opened my mouth to tell Lily when the same voice wound its way through my brain. “Don’t. I’m your little secret.” Nostrils flaring, I bit back my words, muscles trembling.
Am I possessed? That has to be it. But it’s not supposed to be possible for the twice marked. A demon could get into our mind, kick around inside, but take control of our will, not so much. Maybe I’m just losing my mind. Does our family have a history of schizophrenia? I choked on a laugh. Only in my world would a severe mental disorder be a relief.
“Tell me already, did I kill him?” I snapped, pushing the rest aside for the moment. Maybe it would all just go away. Or quite possible I was feverish, having audible hallucinations. There was no need to panic … yet.
“Regan and Monica saved him. They have him at—”
Leaping from bed, I fumbled to strip out of my loungewear to put on respectable hunter clothing. “Come on, take me to them.”
“First of all,” Lily peeked out from behind her hand, “I know we’ve seen each other naked plenty of times, but warn a sister next time … literally.”
“Sorry,” I muttered, pulling a black T-shirt over my head. “I’m in a hurry.”
“Secondly, you’re sick. I’m not taking you over to Monica’s to finish what you started.”
Placing my hands on my hips, I grinned. “At Monica’s, huh? Thanks.”
“Shit.” Lily slapped the arm of
the chair. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you that. You’re on a need-to-know basis. Only until you’re better though.”
“I’m better. And I need to know this.”
“Riss, come on. Why won’t you rest?”
I bared my teeth. “That weapon is out there, and we need to get to it before the Heaven marked do. I know Monica is our friend, but we can’t let her hand it over to the angels or some shit like that. We could use it. We should use it.”
“I don’t know.” Lily nibbled her thumbnail. “What if having that weapon out in the open is too dangerous?”
“We could kill the most powerful demons. Why is that bad? The Heaven marked mean well, but they don’t understand what it’s like. That weapon could mean the difference between Heaven and Hell for all eternity for us.”
“I mean, when you put it that way … but I still don’t know.” She moved on to nibble her pinky nail.
“How about this? We concentrate on finding the weapon first, that way we get to decide what happens to it. We don’t have to decide what that is until we find it.” At least that’s what I’d let Lily think. My mind was made up. We would use that weapon to our advantage.
“Yeah, okay. I don’t want to lie to Monica though. She is our friend.”
She was almost as bad as the Heaven marked with attempting to walk the straight and narrow. I fought the urge to roll my eyes, which wouldn’t serve to help me convince her. “We don’t have to lie to her. In fact, we don’t have to tell her anything at all. We’re already on the case of tracking down the weapon, soooo … we just keep doing that, and make sure we put ourselves in the position to get to it first. No harm, no foul.”
“Okaaaay,” she drawled. “I guess.”
I fist-pumped. “Let’s go!”
Thundering down the stairs, energy surged through me, my mood buoyed with our new goal. Even the niggling feeling in my gut about the voice in my head wouldn’t drag me down. If we could just get to that weapon first, we could change our entire lives. Nothing was going to stand in my way. Not even a bit of potential mental instability.
21
Bass thumped against my chest, and I ground my teeth together, gripping the steering wheel tight. Beside me, Lily bounced in her seat, singing loudly and out of tune with the song pumping out of our speakers.
“Lily,” I grated. “Turn it down. I can’t think straight.”
She dramatically mouthed a line of lyrics, pausing to boop me on the nose with a laugh. “That’s the point. I don’t want to think for a little while.”
“But I do.” Tapping the volume button on the steering wheel, I internally cursed when nothing happened. Either it was broken, or Lily had somehow temporarily disabled it. I reached for the volume control, but she slapped my hand before I could make contact. I growled at her. Or I think I did since I couldn’t actually hear or feel it.
My mind kept circling back around to the voice in my head. It hadn’t exactly commanded me, making suggestions instead. Although, I did obey. Or did I? It told me to silence the guy at the mansion, but I was already on the warpath, pissed and ready for a fight. I was nudged. And when it told me not to talk about it … well, that made sense, too, because if it was a symptom of me being sick then it would go away naturally and there was no need to worry everyone. Could it be possible a demon was watching and listening, and trying to shove me in a certain direction? Technically, it wouldn’t be possession if that was the case. Was telepathy a power a certain breed of demon used to its advantage? I’d personally never run across it before.
Groaning, I tapped the steering wheel. My thoughts were fragmented, and my emotions snarled, Lily’s car jam-out session not helping in the least.
It doesn’t matter. Focus on the goal of getting to the weapon first.
No. It does matter. Something hasn’t been right with you since that day in the alleyway when that demon knocked you the fuck out.
You just need time to process and heal. A lot has gone down in the last few days.
Duh. What’s new about that in the life of a twice marked?
I shook my head, attempting to pull myself out of my internal battle. Focus on the here and now, and what you can change. Overthinking absolutely everything isn’t going to do anyone any good.
Fiddling with her playlist, Lily cued up a new song, one I recognized.
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit tired
Of listening to the sound of my tears
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous
That the best of all my years have gone by
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
And then I see the look in your eyes
I’d heard the song enough times in Wilde Stallions. After all, “Total Eclipse of the Heart” was a popular 80’s song. But I suppose I’d never stopped to consider the lyrics before. I found myself merely nodding along at first, seeing my plight within each line. I am lonely sometimes. I am tired sometimes. Fuck, I do get nervous that the best of my years are all gone, and yeah, I’m terrified. And then I look into Jensen’s eyes …
By the refrain I was swept away, singing along, and every bit as out of tune as Lily.
When we reached Monica’s house in Spring Hill, Tennessee, I was itching to call Jensen, my mood having shifted to full-on sappy.
Ugh. What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m falling apart. One minute I never want to get back together with Jensen, and the next I want to crawl under his skin and live there. And it’s not with just him. I’m all over the place lately, even more so than normal.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. Is this what a nervous breakdown feels like? Perhaps I wasn’t completely insane, just falling to pieces. Sooo … good news, right?
“Remember,” Lily gave me her best stern look, falling a mile short of intimidating by my estimation, “you need to be on your best behavior, or I’ll help Monica and Regan drag you out of there.”
“Hmmm …“
“I mean it.”
I pulled the keys from the ignition. “I heard you.”
“But are you going to listen?”
“Yes.”
I studied the small house as we made our way up the pathway to the front door. My chest constricted. The last time I’d been here for a visit was when Tomas was alive. A part of me expected him to swing the front door open to greet us like he had the last time. Instead, Regan opened the door, his dark gaze on me.
I raised my hand. “Hey. I’m not going to cause any trouble this time, I swear.” Regan didn’t know me well, our paths crossing for the first time at the mansion, but hopefully, Monica had made excuses for my bad behavior.
He frowned but moved to the side to allow us entrance. “Monica’s upstairs with our guest.”
I snorted. “Guest. Right. Did you get anything out of him yet?”
Regan shut and locked the door, stepping in behind us. “He hasn’t been conscious since we healed him.”
That brought up an interesting question. “Sooo … Heaven marked have healing abilities, huh?” It made me wonder what else their kind hid from us when I thought we were basically on the same side, working for the same goals.
“Yes.”
Good to know. “It was the first I’d ever seen any of you use them.”
He corralled us toward the back stairs. “They’re limited. The powers.”
Forcing myself from focusing on any pictures or reminders of Tomas, I held myself stiffly. “How so?”
Clamping his mouth shut, he waved us on. “Monica’s waiting for you. I’ll be standing guard down here.”
Alrighty then. Guess I wasn’t going to get any more information about his healing powers out of him. I wasn’t surprised, but it was worth a shot. The Heaven marked were notoriously tight-lipped when it came to their abilities.
I still hadn’t been able to get Monica to reveal whether or not they had any kind of innate demon sensing abilities that we didn’t.
When we got to the top of the stairs, Lily paused in front of a photo on the wall. It showcased Tomas and Monica hugging each other, wide smiles stretched across their faces. “Do you think she’ll move?” she whispered.
What would I do if Jensen died? I pushed him away because I didn’t want to have to worry about losing him. Our relationship remained unsettled, and I doubted we had a long-term future, but death was final. You couldn’t take it back. I didn’t want to think about it. Add it to the list. “I don’t know.”
“You’d probably pack everything up the next day and forbid me from ever mentioning his name again.”
No one could say my sister didn’t know me. Sure, there were minute details she wasn’t privy to, but when it came to predicting my behavior, she had a Ph.D. in the subject. “And you wouldn’t let me forget.” And I had a Ph.D. in Lily behavior science. “You’d try to make me talk about him all the time. Put up pictures everywhere.”
“And you’d rip them down.” She traced another framed picture with the tip of her index finger. “Monica’s all alone out here.”
Oh, shit. I know where this is going. “She wasn’t even alone when we got here.”
“Regan doesn’t live here.”
I slashed my hand through the air. “No. Monica’s not coming to stay with us.” She opened her mouth to protest, but I cut her off. “We don’t have any extra bedrooms. And no, we can’t stay out here either.”
“Jensen has a spare room.”
“I am not going to volunteer his guest bedroom for him.”
“Why not?”
Why not? Why not?! Because if I made decisions for him it would only encourage him to do it to me more than he already did. I was still stuck with an unwanted tracking spell until I could convince him to remove it. “Just no. If you have the nerve to ask why not, then you clearly won’t understand.” She didn’t obviously, which was evident from her advising me to forgive Jensen for his oversteps with me before.
