by Freya Barker
Stubborn.
“We need to talk,” Mia says before I have a chance to turn around. She walks into my field of vision, carrying a coffee of her own, and pulls the second lounger closer.
“Okay,” I say carefully, half convinced this is where she’s going to let me down easy, so I brace.
“I need to go into town today,” she announces instead, her gaze focused on the water.
“What? No way,” I blurt out immediately. She turns her head and with a small smile on her lips, pulls one eyebrow high.
“I can’t miss my appointment with Rueben, my therapist,” she reminds me. “There’s a lot to cover with him.”
Right. Of course there is. Mia’s life has been rocked on its moorings and pretty much all of it’s been my doing.
I drop my head in my hands and stare at the dock between my feet.
“I’m sorry...” A sharp sting on the back of my head, where Mia cuffs me, has me choke down the rest of my words and when I look at her, she looks angry.
“I wish you would stop that,” she says sternly, before softening. “I know what you’re doing, and I get it, but I’m not going to let you. Look...” She leans forward and takes one of my hands between hers. “Tell me honestly; has that article changed anything for you? When it comes to me, I mean?”
“Fuck no,” I immediately answer, lifting my other hand to her face. “No.” She smiles and leans her face into my palm.
“Have you ever let public opinion or gossip dictate to you?”
“Absolutely not,” I inform her honestly.
“Then why are you now? Why, between yesterday when you left me satisfied in bed, and now, have you worked so hard at pushing me away?” I can hear the vulnerability in her voice and I hate that I put it there.
“I’m trying to protect you,” I tell her, realizing how feeble that sounds. “I never cared enough,” I explain. “But I care now.”
“Just so you know,” she says with a smile. “I appreciate you wanting to protect me. But what exactly are you protecting me from? Nothing in that article is technically untrue, and now that it’s already out there, what’s left to worry about? Unless it changes things for you, of course.”
My answer to that is to pull her from her chair on my lap, letting her know with my kiss how I feel.
“You’re amazing,” I rumble in her hair when we finally pull apart.
“I’m really not,” she says pensively. “I’m no more or no less than what you know of me.” She barks out a laugh. “Or anyone who read that article,” she adds with a grin before turning serious again. “I’m a mess. I’m struggling, but I’ve never felt such a strong urge to get better. You see...” She turns in my lap, straddles me and slips her arms around my neck. “I never cared enough either, but like you, I do now. Which is exactly why I can’t skip seeing Rueben. I’ve let fear keep me frozen for too long, and I can’t go back to that. Not after feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin again.”
-
“Perfect,” Jordy says later, when I tell her I’m driving Mia to town. It was my only stipulation and one she gratefully accepted. “I can pop into clinic at the hospital with Ole. It’s about time for our six week check in.”
“Sounds good to me,” Mia says with a smile. “I’m curious to see how much that hungry little monster has grown. He’s already up a size from his newborn clothes.”
“I know, right?” Jordy pipes back, the two of them disappearing in a baby discussion I have no interest in.
“Come on, Ole,” I tell my nephew, as I take him from his mother’s hands. “Let the girls talk, us men have better things to do.” I ignore the grunts of protest from my sister and wink at Mia as I take the baby outside. Time to do some bonding.
Thirty minutes later, the little guy is asleep in his baby seat beside me, under the cover of the large umbrella, and I toss my bobber back in the water with a fresh worm.
“You’re missing all the fun,” I say softly, rocking his seat with my foot when he starts to fuss a little. “We’ve caught a few nice sized rock bass, but you’re sleeping through it.”
“Don’t you get worm guts on my baby!” Jordy calls out, as she hurries down the dock to where the boy and I are fishing. “What are you thinking?” She immediately fusses over Ole, wiping his face and hands furiously with the wet wipes she carried out. Poor Ole starts crying immediately. “See what you did?” she accuses me, snatches up the baby, and marches back inside. I’m left gaping after her.
“What I did?” I finally yell back indignantly, but only Mia, who just managed to step out of Jordy’s way, hears me. The slight by my sister is instantly forgotten when Mia throws her head back and the sound of her laughter bounces like a warm melody off the water around me.
“You took your nephew fishing?”
It’s a rhetorical question, and I don’t bother answering as I watch her walk closer, a smile still on her face. I drop my rod on the deck and reach for her hand, which she quickly pulls back.
“Are you getting worm guts on me?” she teases, a glint in her eyes. I manage to snag her fingers and tangle them with mine.
“It’s a rite of passage,” I explain.
“Worm guts?”
“No, fishing with the boy. I remember Dad taking me fishing. Those are some of my best memories.”
I lean back when Mia steps between my knees, her free hand running through my hair, before she leans down and presses a sweet kiss on my mouth.
“That’s sweet,” she mumbles against my lips and then straightens up. “You do realize Ole is much too young to remember, right?”
“Of course,” I answer matter-of-factly. “But I’m not—I’ll remember.”
-
“I’m sorry,” Jordy says beside me. “I thought it was just going to be a quick in and out. I had no idea it would be this busy.
I look around me at the waiting room. Every chair is taken, and had been for most of the hour we’ve been here. The girl at the desk had apologized a while ago, explaining that Dr. Winters was called away for an emergency. I’ve been trying to avoid making eye contact after the first few curious glances our way. Mostly the men, who may have recognized me.
“You had no way of knowing,” I reassure her. “But I am a little concerned about Mia. She said her session would be about an hour, so she should be done by now.”
I’d dropped Mia off at Rueben’s office before taking Jordy and Ole to the clinic at the hospital, expecting to be done there soon enough to pick Mia back up. Jake, the guard at our new gate, told us he’d turned back a few cars earlier, and I’d kept my eyes peeled the entire way into town. Even though I never saw anyone, doesn’t mean they weren’t there. Which is why I’m getting a little restless hanging around the hospital when Mia could be out there alone.
“Go,” Jordy says. “I don’t know how long it’ll be, but since I’m already here, I might as well get this over with. Go find Mia, grab a bite with her, and don’t forget to bring me something back. I’ll be fine. It’s her you should be worried about.”
“Love you,” I tell her, something I don’t do enough, and bend down to kiss her head. She knows I’m feeling torn. “Look after my boy,” I add, giving Ole a kiss for good measure and earning a snort from Jordy. “Won’t be long.”
I step around one guy, who came in with a pregnant woman earlier, and has been ogling us the entire time from his perch against the doorway.
“Hey, are you Kesla?” he calls after me, and I turn around, debating whether to lie or be straight. May as well work it in my favour.
“Yeah,” I answer casually. “I’d love to chat, but I’ve gotta run an errand. Do me a favour? While you’re here, keep an eye on my family?” I watch as his eyes slide over to where Jordy is sitting, before looking back at me, his chest puffing up noticeably.
“Sure thing.”
“Great, thanks, man, I won’t be long.”
Mia
“Well now,” Rueben says on a grin, when I finish telling him al
l that’s happened in the past few weeks. “When you decide to step outside of your walls, you really step out, don’t you?”
I wince at his amused reference to the revealing exposé in The Sun. He notices and immediately straightens his face.
“Wasn’t exactly how I wanted to be reintroduced to the world.”
“I’m sure,” he commiserates more appropriately. “Still, you appear to be unexpectedly composed, considering,” he observes.
“I wasn’t. At first,” I add quickly. “But Jared’s done everything he can to keep our sanctuary just that—a sanctuary. And he is working on a plan to divert press interest to other aspects of his life.” It doesn’t feel appropriate to discuss the details of Jared’s plans, even with Rueben, although I have no doubt he would respect the confidentiality. It’s just not mine to tell.
“You being one of those ‘other aspects’ you speak of?” I’m not sure whether that’s a question or a conclusion, so I choose just to lift my shoulders. “I also note you talk about ‘our’ sanctuary instead of yours. Things have changed,” he notes. “Your perception of the world is changing.”
“Maybe it is,” I concur. “These past weeks, and especially the past few days, it’s like the blinders I was wearing have fallen off. I’m learning there are more ways the blackout and the aftermath have affected not just me, but others as well. Did I mention his parents died August fourteenth, as a direct result?” Rueben nods his acknowledgement. “It shamed me, to be honest, to see how well he and his sister have evolved from that point, and how little headway I’ve made.” Rueben opens his mouth but I silence him with my hand. “I know the experience was not the same, but both were traumatic, and yet they never stopped moving forward, however I’ve allowed myself to become lodged there. I’m tired of it. I’m terrified, but I don’t want those blinders back. Everything was the same colour while I was wearing them and now—shit, now everything is so much more vivid. Unpredictable, clearly, but I’m finding out there’s an odd purpose to everything that happens, a beautiful release when you allow yourself to react, process, and move on. I don’t think I got that before,” I admit.
“I never doubted you’d find your way back to the living eventually,” Rueben says. “But still I’m surprised how dramatic the change in you is. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t caution you, though,” he adds in a more serious tone. “This is not a switch you throw—it’s a long road that will include setbacks and relapses, and you need to be prepared for those.”
Only minutes later, when I walk out of his office and onto the parking lot where I expect Jared’s car to be waiting, I discover how true his words are.
“Ms. Thompson...Mia? Hold up?”
I watch a man rush toward me with a camera stuck to his face. I barely have time to register he looks a lot like the guy in the van, when I see a flash from the corner of my eye. Jared’s giant frame moves faster than I would’ve thought possible, as he rips the camera from the guy’s face, and hurls it across the parking lot, where it breaks apart on landing. Loud yelling ensues and I can feel my hands tingle as my lungs seem to tighten. Everything around me disappears until there is just me, and the paralyzing fear I recognize all too well.
Next thing I know I’m lying on the couch in Rueben’s office, listening to another argument, this one less threatening since it takes place in harsh whispers. Jared is attempting to gain access to the room, and Rueben, all of his stooped five foot seven inches, is throwing himself up as some kind of sentry. If I weren’t so confused and shaken, it would be laughable. But I want Jared. I want to feel the comfort of his hands on me. I know he can make the shaking stop and my heart return to normal just by being near.
“Please,” I try to get Rueben’s attention, but it’s Jared who hears and his eyes immediately land on me.
“Hey, Beautiful,” his voice instantly gentles.
Rueben turns around and takes a step toward me, a move that gives Jared the opening he needs to squeeze in the door and beat Rueben to my side. His hand is on my face and I surge up to wrap my arms around his neck. He wraps an arm around me and twists us so he is sitting on the couch, with me cradled against his chest. My breathing instantly slows down, and I let out a deep sigh, barely hearing the words he mumbles in my hair, but finding comfort in his soothing rumble.
“Better?” he says a little louder.
“Much.” I give him the truth, opening my eyes to see the worry in his.
“Christ, I’m sorry. The clinic was busy and the doctor was...”
I put my fingers over his mouth and cut off his words.
“You really have to stop apologizing,” I gently insist. Before I can say anything else, Rueben clears his throat, drawing our attention.
“Maybe it’s time you properly introduce us,” he directs at me, but his bemused gaze is firmly fixed on Jared.
TWENTY-TWO
Jared
Holy fuck.
If LeBlanc’s patrol car hadn’t happened by, just as I went after that Taylor fucking Torrence in the parking lot, I might’ve killed the guy. As it was, John had to put in some muscle to stop me from pounding his face to a pulp. I can’t remember a time, not even on the ice, where all I saw was red.
“Easy, man,” John’s voice had sounded by my ear, as his arms banded around me, pinning mine to my side. I was impressed. Even though I initially struggled to get free, his steel hold never let up. “Think, brother. Think. Don’t make it any worse than it already is.”
“I’m gonna sue you,” the motherfucker lisped through his busted lips. “Officer, I wanna file charges.”
“Shut the fuck up,” John snapped at him, surprising both of us. “I’ll deal with you in a minute.”
When I turned my head to find Mia, she’d disappeared, but a woman standing in the door of the clinic motioned inside.
“Let me go,” I growled at the man still holding me pinned.
“Are you gonna behave?” I almost lost it at his sardonic question, but the urge to see Mia was greater.
“Yes, man, let me go. I need to see to Mia.” Without further argument, he released me and I made a straight beeline for the door.
I hadn’t counted on the damn doctor to block my way to her. I probably would’ve nailed him too if he was younger and fitter than the seventy or eighty years he looks to be. God she looked so small, curled up into herself with her face chalk white, and the moment I saw my opening I had her up and in my arms.
She was still there, mostly because I was reluctant to let go. Even as the doc, Rueben, sat down after introductions, and pointedly ignoring me after, started softly talking with Mia. In fact, I was so keen on keeping her close, I didn’t even object when LeBlanc walked in and announced he would pick Jordy up. He said he’d bring her home since he needed to ask me some questions. That’s when reality hit home; I might be in some serious shit.
Mia sits quietly beside me in the car as Jake swings open the gate to let us through. The OPP cruiser is already parked in the driveway.
“Are you in trouble?” she asks timidly, spotting the cruiser.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” I respond with more bluster than I feel. The truth is, I may have just created a whole new reason for the press to hound me, and on top of that, cost myself any chance on a position with the Colts. They don’t take kindly to coaches who can’t keep their cool. Wonderful. I’d better get on the phone with Brian, see what damage control he can do. But first I have to make nice with our local law enforcement, who happens to have his eye on my sister. I swallow hard.
I have to swallow even harder when we walk in and he’s sitting casual as you like, across from my sister who is feeding Ole. Mia’s slight squeeze to my hand holds me back from walking up and shutting his eyes for him. Probably wouldn’t be a great idea to beat up a member of the press, and a police officer, all in one day. Instead, I let go of Mia’s hand, who rushes to my sister’s side, and jerk my head sharply in the direction of the kitchen when I catch LeBlanc’s eye. I don’t w
ait, assuming he’ll follow, as I dive into the fridge for a beer.
“A little early for that?” he says, grabbing a stool at the island and eyeing the bottle in my hand.
“Not after the fucking morning I’ve had,” I snap back.
“Good point,” he concedes. “Maybe I’ll take one, too.” I give him a long stare before grabbing another beer from the fridge, slamming it down in front of him.
“Isn’t there a rule you’re not allowed drink on the job?” I snipe, watching him take a long tug from his bottle before he sets it down.
“Probably,” he shrugs, “good thing my shift ended an hour ago. I was on my way home when I saw you charging through the parking lot.”
Christ knows I don’t want to like the fucking guy, but damn he doesn’t make it easy. I drain half of my beer before pulling a stool to the other side of the counter so I’m facing him.
“Okay,” I sigh, looking over his shoulder to where the girls are sitting, talking softly. “Tell me how fucked I am.” One side of John’s mouth tilts up in amusement when I glance back at him.
“Mr. Torrence is pissed.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” I snap. “But not nearly as pissed as I am. He’s messing with my family. Mia, she...” I stop when John lifts his hand.
“I get it,” he quickly interjects. “If you’d just tossed the damn camera and got in his face it would’ve been one thing, but Jesus you did a number on him. He’s dead set on pressing charges, it didn’t seem to matter much what I said. I managed to hold him off till tomorrow. Told him to get some ice on his face and come into the Bracebridge Detachment in the morning to file his complaint. Give you a chance to get your damn ducks in a row before this charge becomes official. As it is, my ass is dangling on the line.”
I run both hands through my hair and drop my head, clasping them behind my neck. What a mess. What a goddamn mess.
“I appreciate it, man,” I finally manage, lifting my eyes.
“Good,” he says, grinning from ear to ear. “Then maybe you won’t cut off my balls and shove them down my throat when I ask your sister out.” I glare at him, grinding my teeth, but he just keeps on grinning. Finally he straightens his face and leans forward. “Although, you should know that wouldn’t have stopped me anyway.”
