by Cala Riley
She’s my best friend, but I haven’t told her I’ve already been feeling that way. Our texts are daily. Our phone calls almost as frequent. When we aren’t calling or texting, it’s usually because we are hanging out together. Sometimes it’s alone, while other times it’s with Jack and some other guys.
“I’ll think about it okay?” I tell her. “Now, what do you think of this?”
“I think it will make Xavier lose his mind and you should wear it tonight.” She deviously smirks.
I look down at the dark green lace bralette that ties between the breasts. Typically, it’s something I would never wear but when at the beach.
“Pair it with a pair of white shorts,” Rebecca encourages.
“I do have a pair,” I murmur, thinking about how the top would look with the shorts.
Would Xavier like it? Only one way to find out.
“Fuck it,” I say breathlessly as I hang the hanger over my arm.
“That’s my girl!” Rebecca cheers. “Now let’s check out and get ready for tonight,” she says as she walks toward me. Rebecca grabs my wrist and pulls me toward the registers, making me laugh.
“Slow down.”
“No time to waste! We have prepping to do.”
The five-minute walk to the shops seems to take much less time as Rebecca continues to power walk back to the house. I’m nearly out of breath just trying to keep up with her.
Once back at the house, Rebecca ushers me upstairs to get ready. I take a quick shower, washing the grime away and blow dry my hair. As I step out of the shower, I find Rebecca sitting on the counter, feet in the sink, applying her makeup.
“You’re ridiculous.” I shake my head as I dry off.
“You know it.” She winks as I throw my hair up in the towel.
Hustling into my room for the weekend, I get dressed in the green top and white shorts. Walking back into the bathroom, I come to a stop.
Damn, I look good.
Even with no makeup and a towel on my head.
“He’s going to swallow his tongue,” Rebecca says gleefully as I grab her blow dryer.
“Whatever you say,” I tell her as I plug it in.
Twenty minutes later my thick hair is dry and large and in charge.
“Can I curl it?” Rebecca asks as I wrap the blow dryer up.
“If you brought your curling wand.” I shrug as I reach for my makeup. After quickly putting on the basics and her doing my hair, we head downstairs, finding the guys once again in the kitchen, music on and pizza on the counter.
Jack whistles. “Damn. I don’t know about you X, but I’m feeling pretty lucky tonight,” he boasts.
“Jack,” Xavier warns, never looking away from me.
I bite my lip, looking away. “So, what kind of pizza did you get?”
“Ham, right?” Xavier clears his throat, pushing a box toward me.
“Thanks.” I smile at him as I take a piece from the box.
Xavier and I eat in silence as Rebecca and Jack talk enough for the both of us.
“We should probably start the fire,” Xavier says, abruptly.
“I’m game,” Jack says, tossing his paper plate in the trash.
I watch as Xavier takes his time, wiping his hands off on a napkin and wiping off the counter under his plate before he tosses his trash.
“Meet you out there,” he says to me as he passes.
“Sounds good,” I whisper.
As soon as the back door closes Rebecca cackles.
“What’s so funny?” I frown.
“Oh, god, the sexual tension! I swore the room was going to light on fire with the way you two looked at each other!”
“Shut up,” I mumble.
“You want to take a ride on his disco stick,” she sings, making me laugh.
Well, she’s not wrong.
“Keep it down. They could come in at any minute.”
Her eyes widen. “So you’re admitting it?”
I roll my eyes at her while I busy myself putting the leftovers away.
“I’ll admit that I find him very attractive, but he’s a friend. A very good friend. I don’t know if I want to ruin that.”
She slides up next to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “My mom always says that relationships are built on trust and a strong friendship. Looks like you got that down. Why not give it a shot?”
“I’m scared,” I admit softly.
“Of what?” she asks just as gently.
“I haven’t told anyone, but Xavier makes me feel alive. Like he has awoken a part of me that has been paralyzed since Ryan died. What happens if I act on these feelings I’m having and it ruins our friendship? What if I’m just now getting back to normal and one wrong step derails all of my progress?”
She gives me a tight smile. “I can’t answer those questions for you. All I can tell you to do is follow your heart. You can’t be afraid of living your life because you might lose someone. If you do, then before you know it your life will pass you by and leave you with nothing to show for it. What if you pass on this and in ten years, you find out he’s married with kids and you look back and wonder what it would have been like if you had taken that chance? Would you be able to live with the ‘what-ifs?’”
My heart stops at the thought of him with someone else. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but she’s right. My feelings for him have been growing and changing since day one. I might have planned to stay just friends, but I’m not sure that’s even a possibility anymore. Can I continue on the way we are going? What happens if he gets a girlfriend? I don’t think I could stand around and watch him flirt with another woman the way he does with me.
“You’re right. Tonight, I lay my cards on the table and see where his head is at.”
“Well, I can tell you where his eyes were at. On you throughout dinner. He couldn’t stop watching you.”
“Stop it.” I smack her arm.
She grabs my hand, holding it. “Babe, I know you’ve had it rough, but you have to start living your life. I’m not saying forget about what happened or don’t feel your pain. I don’t think that pain will ever go away fully, but this man makes you smile. I mean, I haven’t seen you brighten up the way you do with him with anyone else, even before everything. So all I’m saying is consider it.”
I let out a deep sigh. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”
She wraps her arm in mine. “Great. Let’s get out there. I see others filtering up.”
I let her pull me out on the back deck and down the stairs. I can see Jack and Xavier by a small fire in the distance. Standing right next to them? Two beautiful girls.
A pang in my chest hits me.
I wish Rebecca had kept her big mouth shut. I don’t want to confront my feelings for this man. Especially if it may lead to rejection.
My steps falter as I walk closer, watching as the brunette places her hand on his arm.
I can see her mouth moving and all I can feel is disappointment. She’s gorgeous. Of course, he’s going to want to spend time with her tonight.
He moves slightly, dislodging her hand before looking back toward the house.
His eyes find mine.
Then he smiles before walking toward me. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, pressing a kiss to the side of my head.
“What…” I start.
“Hey, babe. Come meet, Lindsey. She was just telling me how she loves to dance. I told her you do too,” he shouts as he leads me over to the girl.
She sneers at me. “Who is this?”
“This is my girlfriend, Cassandra, who I was telling you about.”
My eyes widen slightly, but I try to hide it.
“Oh,” the girl huffs. “I think I see my friend waving for me.”
She doesn’t bother saying goodbye as she hustles over to a group of girls that have gathered a little farther down the beach.
Xavier doesn’t let me go once she leaves. Instead, he looks down at me with an amused look on his face.
“What was that?” I ask.
He chuckles. “I’m just following your amazing example. Isn’t that how we met? You wanted to get rid of a pushy guy, so you pretended I was your boyfriend?”
I grimace. “I guess so.”
“So I figured turnabout’s fair play. Now you get to be my girlfriend for the night. Let me tell you, Adra. I expect my girlfriend to be doting.”
I roll my eyes at him. “Don’t you want to leave yourself open in case you meet a girl you do like? If I pretend to be your girlfriend, I expect respect. No cheating on me, fake or otherwise.”
He leans in closer, ghosting his lips across my cheek. “Don’t worry. I have no interest in those girls.”
I swallow hard. “Well then, I guess I can be your girlfriend for a little while.”
“Good. Let’s go see what Jack’s doing.”
He pulls me over to Jack and Rebecca, who are surrounded by a group of people. Xavier never once let go of me, keeping his arm firmly around my shoulder.
I don’t miss the way his thumb caresses my shoulder or how he turns, pressing his lips to my temple as he laughs.
This is comfortable.
Maybe Rebecca is right.
Xavier
I sit in a chair in front of the fire, watching the girls dance to the music playing from the portable speaker. I take a sip of my beer and relax back into my chair. Jack’s sitting next to me, but he’s talking to his friends. Not that I mind. I’m not sure I could concentrate on their conversation, anyway.
No, instead I’m concentrating on one thing.
Her.
I can’t seem to get her off of my mind today. I mean, I’m attracted to her obviously, but seeing her today was eye-opening. It wasn’t that she looked gorgeous. She always does.
No. The problem was, as soon as I saw her, this possessive feeling rose up inside me. It made me want to drag her into the other room to keep any other set of eyes from laying their eyes on her sun-kissed flesh.
It was the way my body reacted, wanting to reach out and pull her to me. To stake my claim.
I guess that’s why I did it. Why I told that girl I was taken.
She didn’t care at first, telling me she could keep a secret.
That was, until I introduced her to Cassi, purposely using her God-given name as I know she doesn’t like strangers using her nickname.
It was the best move I could have made. It kept Cassi plastered to my side most of the day, which of course kept wandering eyes from lingering too long. Most of the guys here have enough respect for Jack to avoid conflict with his college buddy.
Thank God for small miracles because I don’t know what I would do if someone approached her.
I have no right to do anything, really. It’s not like we’re actually dating. It’s a charade meant to keep the women at bay.
At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.
I’m not quite ready to explore the real reason I want her to stay close to me.
Cassi glances my way before she says something to Rebecca. Then she saunters over to me. I can’t help but smile at her giggle as she drops into my lap. She takes the beer I’ve been nursing for the past hour and sets it down.
“I was drinking that.” I rasp.
Loving the way she feels in my lap as I wrap my hand around her waist. Holding her in place.
These little touches have been coming more frequently lately. A hand hold here. A kiss on the cheek there. I don’t know when she became comfortable enough to sit in my lap, but fuck if I don’t love it.
Maybe it’s the fake relationship thing, or maybe it’s the vibe in the air. Whatever it is, I’m thanking my lucky stars right about now.
Cassi snuggles into my side before responding. “Not anymore.”
“You having fun?”
“Of course,” she says, running her hand down my chest.
“That’s some outfit,” I tell her, trying not to stare at her breasts that are on display.
I’ve been trying to keep my eyes off her all night, but I’ve failed completely.
“You like it?” she says coyly.
“You know I do,” I growl, squeezing her tight, making her gasp. “I think every guy who sees you in this would love it.”
She smiles brightly. “Take a walk with me?”
I nod as she gets up, easily slipping her hand in mine to help me stand.
We walk down the beach away from our impromptu party in silence.
“Here’s good.” She pulls on my hand, stopping me.
I drop down into the sand, patting next to me for her to join me.
She doesn’t though. Instead, she pushes my knees down before straddling my lap.
My hands immediately come up to her hips, holding her in place. I’m not the only one who noticed this new position. My dick hardens in my pants at the feel of her heat on top of me.
“What are you doing?” I smile at her.
“Shhh. No talkey,” she whispers.
I’m about to ask her what she means when she leans in, ghosting her lips over mine as if she’s teasing me.
I hesitate for a moment.
“Adra.” I smile when I see her shiver. “What are you doing?” I ask again.
“Avi, aren’t you tired of all the tension between us?” she whispers before placing a kiss on my cheek.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re drunk,” I tell her.
She leans back, but stays in my lap. “I need to tell you something.”
“Anything,” I tell her, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair out of her face.
“I like you. I don’t know when it happened, but I really like you.”
I let out a sigh. “I like you too, Adra, but I’m not sure either of us are really in the right frame of mind to start anything now.”
Her bright turquoise eyes peek up at me from under her eyelashes. Tempting me to take back what I said and take her to bed to worship her the way she deserves.
Almost.
Cassi’s gorgeous. There’s no doubt about that. She’s funny and quirky. It’s easy to be around her. That’s not the problem.
The problem is that she has unresolved issues in her life and I can’t put myself through that again. As much as I love Tinsley and am happy for her, I won’t put myself in the position to be anyone’s second choice. Not again.
The worst part is, the way I’ve been feeling about Cassi is way more intense than I ever felt about Tinsley. With Tinsley, my ego was wounded, but with Cassi, I don’t think I’d leave with my heart intact.
She frowns. “I’m not asking you to marry me.”
“What are you asking for then?”
“Friends.” She brushes her lips across mine once more. “Friends that are exploring the possibility that there could be something more here? Who’s to say friends can’t kiss?”
Fuck.
This woman is going to be the death of me.
When I don’t respond right away, her face falls. She goes to pull back from me, but I don’t let her go.
Fuck it.
I told her I wasn’t in a good place and I know she’s not either, but she still wants this. As much as I want to, I can’t deny her. Maybe I can keep her at a distance while fucking her out of my system. Seems like the perfect combination.
Yeah, right, my brain tells me.
“Are you sure?” I ask, threading one hand into her hair and wrap the other around her waist, pulling her into me, making me gasp.
“What I’m sure of is I can’t take it anymore. I want to know what your lips feel like against mine.”
I slam my lips down onto hers, taking her into a brutal kiss. Neither one of us is gentle as we press closer, attempting to meld together as one. I swipe my tongue against her lips, urging her to open up. When she doesn’t right away, I nip her bottom lip, making her gasp. Taking the moment of surprise, I slip my tongue into her mouth, rubbing against hers. She doesn’t hesitate, moving her tongue into my m
outh for its own exploration.
We kiss and kiss for who knows. Hands roving. Her hands make their way under my shirt, up my abs, and around to my back. She grinds down onto me, making me groan.
“Avi,” she whimpers.
“Not here, Adra. I won’t have our first time be on a beach where sand can get into places it doesn’t belong,” I tell her, making her laugh.
“I’m sorry,” she says once she calms down, pulling back.
“What are you sorry for?”
“Pushing.” She sighs, brushing her loose girls away from her face.
“Hey, I like you pushing, but not here. I’m thinking about the both of us when I say no,” I tell her, running my thumb over her bottom lip.
“Make-out buddies?”
“For now,” I say, making us both smile.
“For now.”
7
Cassi
Avi: What are you wearing right now?
I smile as I peek at the text. I’m starting to regret taking evening classes. It seemed like a great idea. Take all my classes between noon and seven and still have time for a party if I want. Plus, sleeping in is a must. I’m not a morning person.
You know who is a morning person? Xavier Walsh. Meaning while I’m getting my beauty sleep, he’s studying hard in class. Then when he’s done for the day and wants to see me, I’m in class. Instead of going to a party, we usually meet up for an hour or two before he heads back to his dorm to get some sleep.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
We haven’t done anything further than kissing so far, but I want to. I want to bad.
A little voice in the back of my head is telling me to pump the breaks. That part of me is clinging to Xavier for a not so noble reason, but I hush it.
Truth is, I like the way he makes me feel.
He makes me feel like I’m gorgeous. Like my broken pieces aren’t a deterrent. It doesn’t make me less. Like they just make me well me.
