by Cala Riley
“And he wouldn’t want me falling into bed with his best friend either, huh?” I quip, making us both laugh.
“No, probably not. Or maybe he would. You know him better than me. One thing I know is he would want you to give yourself a break. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
A lightness fills me at his words. I don’t know if he even realizes what he said.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
He doesn’t know what happened. He has no idea the amount of guilt I harbor, but with that one statement, I feel a small portion leave me.
“You’re right. He wouldn’t want me to be so hard on myself.”
He would want me to forgive myself.
Xavier pulls me into him and starts walking back toward the car. “Come on, why don’t you stay with me tonight? We can go back to the dorm, order some food and watch a movie or two. How does that sound?”
“That sounds perfect,” I tell him as I bury myself into his side, holding him tight.
“Let’s go for now. We can always come back.”
I smile weakly up at Xavier. “I hope they don’t cut down this tree. As much as it hurts me now, I know I’ll want to look at it again one day.”
“I hope so too.”
Xavier
I stare blankly at the TV as Cassi sleeps next to me, face buried in my chest, legs intertwined with mine. I knew she had some sort of past with Jared, I just didn’t know how much.
“I was clinging to him because he was one of the last pieces of him I had left. When he passed, Jared and I got close because we were both lost.”
Can I compete with the past?
You couldn’t when it came to Tinsley, the devil on my shoulder says.
But Cassi is different, the angel reminds me.
I can’t help but think about the devastation that covered her face tonight when she was talking about Ryan. What’s it like to be that close to someone, only to lose them? Can I really blame her for trying to hold on to Jared?
Cassi nuzzles her face into my chest. Looking down, I can’t help but think about how beautiful she is as I brush a piece of hair off of her face. My phone buzzing catches my attention and I slowly grab it, hoping not to wake her up.
Jack: You guys good?
Me: Yeah, we’re good. You need a ride?
Jack: Nah, I’m going home with someone tonight. Just wanted to check and make sure Ace was good. If she wants, she can take my bed tonight.
I look down at a sleeping Cassi and can’t help but smirk.
Me: We’re good. Keep me updated if you change your mind and come home.
Jack: Will do. Take care of our girl.
I put my phone back on the nightstand, eyes feeling heavy. Pulling Cassi into my chest, I can’t help but think about how right this feels.
Yeah, she’s worth the risk.
8
Cassi
“That class is going to kill me,” I tell Rebecca as we walk out of algebra.
“Oh, it’s not that bad.”
“Easy for you to say miss genius,” I mumble without any heat.
“I got you. Don’t worry,” Rebecca says, bumping her shoulder to mine.
“Thank god for smart besties,” I joke, making us laugh.
“Cassi!”
We turn, looking over our shoulders, and see Mara rushing to catch up.
“God, I hate her,” Rebecca grumbles.
“Rebecca.” I widen my eyes at her.
“What? You don’t like her anymore either, remember?”
“Be nice,” I chastise.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Hey, Mara. What’s up?” I ask as she approaches.
“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Mara says, brushing hair out of her face.
“Yeah, sorry. I’ve been a little busy.”
I hear Rebecca mumbling under her breath.
“Too busy for your best friend?” She raises a brow.
“Yeah, no. She’s been spending time with me. Thanks for asking,” Rebecca chimes in, arms crossed over her chest.
“Rebecca,” Mara sneers.
“Skank,” Rebecca sneers.
“I don’t exactly know what you want, Mara, but you made it clear where we stand. So while this is fun and all, I need to grab a cup of coffee before my next class,” I say, breaking the tension.
Mara attempts to say something else, but I don’t have time for it. I grab Rebecca’s arm and drag her away.
“Remember, Cassi, you’re only as good as the company you keep,” she yells to our backs.
“I fucking hate her.”
“I know,” I sigh, suddenly exhausted.
“She’s toxic and wants to be the center of attention.”
“I know.”
“I seriously don’t know why you still talk to her. Anytime you’ve ever shown an interest in a guy, she’s put the moves on him, pushing you to the side. Is that really the kind of friend you want?” Rebecca huffs.
“You know it’s not. We aren’t even really friends anymore, but you also know I can’t just walk away when her mom and mine are best friends. It’s easier to keep the peace,” I remind her for the thousandth time.
“Can’t believe she had the audacity to call herself your best friend.” Rebecca rolls her eyes as we walk into the coffee shop. I play on my phone as Rebecca checks out the bulletin board as I go through my emails.
“Hey.” She hits my side, getting my attention. “The rodeo is coming to town this weekend. You want to go?”
“Sure.” I smile. “I wonder if Xavier has ever been to a rodeo before.”
“Only one way to find out.” Rebecca raises her brow. “You text Xavier and I’ll text Jack.” She says as we move up the line.
“So, Jack, huh?” I ask as I type out a text.
Me: what are you doing this weekend?
“I like spending time with him but we’re young so who knows what will happen,” Rebecca says as she texts Jack.
Avi: Shouldn’t I be the one to ask you that? I’ve got nothing planned, why what’s up?
Me: How would you feel about going to a rodeo?
“I get that,” I tell Rebecca as I wait for his reply.
We move up to the register and place our orders. My phone buzzes as I pay. Once we move off to the side to wait for our order, I read his message.
Avi: If it means spending more time with you, then I’m game.
“Smooth,” Rebecca mutters, reading over my shoulder.
“Hey, no snooping,” I chastise.
“Really?” she deadpans right as the barista calls our names. We grab our coffees as I text him back.
Me: Smooth. Better get ready to get your Texas on city boy.
Xavier
I don’t know what I expected when Cassi invited me to a rodeo, but it sure wasn’t this; I think as I take in the fair going on. Flashing lights, rides, and rigged games galore with the scent of fried food lingering in the air.
“I don’t know what I was expecting, but it sure wasn’t this,” I tell her as we walk side-by-side into the fair, trailing behind Jack and Rebecca.
Cassi looks around, nodding. “Yeah, I probably should have mentioned this isn’t a normal rodeo.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, moving closer to her as the crowd thickens.
“Every year the rodeo and the fair come to town at the same time. Two separate events but you can easily go from one to the other.” she shrugs. “Having the two side-by-side increases the turnout.”
“Make sense. It’s good for marketing.”
“Exactly.”
“Hey, you two!” Jack yells, getting our attention.
“What do you guys want to do before the rodeo starts?” he asks.
I look at Cassi. “Up to you, I’m along for the ride.”
“How about we break up and meet back up at the rodeo entrance in thirty minutes?” Rebecca says.
“That sounds good to me.” Cassi shrugs. “That okay with you?”
“Soun
ds like a plan.” I nod.
“Awesome, now Jack,” Rebecca says, pulling him away. “Can you use your muscles and win me a stuffed animal?”
“Can I? Psh,” Jack says, making us laugh as we watch them walk away.
“They are something else.”
“Aren’t they?” Cassi says. “So, how about we walk around until we find something that we want to do?”
“Sounds good,” I say, reaching down and taking her hand in mine.
I see Cassi duck her head as we walk, but not before I caught the hint of a smile.
Walking around, none of the rides or games catch our attention.
“What do you think about finding a dark spot and making out for a little while?” Cassi asks, brows raised.
I pull her into me, kissing her neck. “I think that’s the best idea you’ve had all night,” I rasp into her ear, making her giggle.
With her hand in mine, I lead her over to a spot between two booths and push her up against the railing. I weave my hands into her hair and kiss her. Cassi moans into my mouth, letting me deepen the kiss. Her hands trail up my back, to my neck and into my hair as she rubs her body against mine.
I could take her right here and no one would never know.
“Xavier,” she murmurs after who knows how long.
“What do you need?” I ask, kissing her neck, kneading her ass.
“You. I need you.” She sighs, arching her back.
“We both know we can’t do anything here. Too many eyes.”
“No one can see us,” she growls, nipping my chin.
As I open my mouth to respond, her watch vibrates with a text.
“Fucking cock blockers,” she mumbles, resting her head on my chest in defeat.
“Come on, you don’t mean that,” I tease as I pull away. “Let’s head that way.”
“Fine, lead the way,” she huffs, acting put out.
I look down at her red swollen lips and mused hair.
I did that. I did that to her.
Clearing my throat. “Should we grab some food to take in?” I ask, pointing to a fried food booth that advertises fried ice cream.
“Oh, let’s get some fried ice cream and fried Oreos to eat together,” Cassi says breathlessly.
We move, getting into line. Once to the front, we place our order for more food than we will probably eat.
Fried ice cream. Fried Oreos. Fried pickles. Fried chicken.
“Pretty sure I’m going to be working this off for days,” I mumble as we walk toward the rodeo doors.
“Pretty sure your abs will live to see another day, Avi,” she jokes, making me laugh.
“You guys get enough food?” Rebecca laughs as we approach.
“Pretty sure the guy we bought the drinks from thought the same thing,” Jack quips beside her.
“Come on, let’s get in there and eat before all this goes cold,” Rebecca says, blushing.
Cassi and I follow them into the arena and make our way into the grandstands and find a seat. We sit, separating all the food and eat what we want.
“This is so good,” Cassi moans as she dips an Oreo into the ice cream.
“I don’t think those sounds are suitable for public,” I joke under my breath, making her blush.
“Shut up,” she whispers, ducking her head.
“He giving you a hard time, Ace? You’re looking a little red,” Jack jests, making all of us but Cassi laugh.
“Laugh it up, Jack, just remember payback is a bitch,” she jokes.
Once we finish eating, I run the remnants of our meal to the trash can at the bottom of the steps.
“You won’t keep her,” a guy leaning against the railing says as I approach.
“Excuse me? Are you talking to me?” I ask as I dispose of our trash.
The guy turns and looks me up and down before facing forward again.
Jared.
“She will come back to me. She always does.”
“Are you sure about that?” I ask, crossing my arms.
“We have history. Can’t beat history.” He shrugs.
“You can if you know the history was bad for you,” I say, walking away. Not wanting to listen to any of the other bullshit he wanted to spew.
I look up to see if Cassi has noticed that he’s here or not, only to meet Jack’s stare. He nods, letting me know we’re good and that the night isn’t ruined.
“Hey, took you long enough,” Cassi teases as I approach.
“Sorry.” I smirk, sitting down next to her.
She bumps her shoulder into my side. “You’re forgiven just this once.”
I wrap my arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry, I won’t make that mistake again.” I smirk.
The announcer comes over, telling us all to stand for the national anthem, and before I know it, the rodeo is off.
“Hey guys, lean in close. I want to take a picture for social media,” Rebecca yells over the crowd.
The four of us lean into the frame and she snaps a few different photos and posts them all.
Guys are thrown, bones are broken, the crowd boos and cheers, and it’s like a sensory overload unlike anything I have ever experienced. And the way Cassi gets into it, I can’t help but hope this is the first of many rodeos we go to.
9
Cassi
Rushing into my dorm, I replay this morning’s conversation with Xavier.
“Hey, how about just you and I go do something tonight?”
“Like a date?” I tease, leaning into his side in a booth out of sight.
“Yeah, like a date. That okay with you?” He raises a brow, smirking as he pulls on a strand of hair.
“You won’t hear me complain.”
“All right. Let me find something for us to do.”
“Sounds good.” My watch vibrates, reminding me it’s time to head to class. “I have to go.” I sigh before leaning in and stealing a kiss.
“Take good notes,” he says before kissing me once more.
“I’ll try,” I say as I slide out of the booth. “Later.”
“Later.”
I toss my bag on the floor and start ripping through my closet.
Wear something old.
That was the text I got an hour ago.
“Hey, what’s got you moving so fast?” Rebecca asks as she kicks my bag out of the way.
“Sorry about that.” I nod toward my bag. “I’m going out with Xavier.”
“Like a date?” she asks, clearly surprised.
“That’s what he said,” I say over my shoulder as I slip on a pair of jeans.
“You’re going on a date with Xavier Walsh and you’re wearing jeans?” she says skeptically.
“He said to dress casually. Well, his exact words were something old,” I yell, tossing my heads up.
“Okay, okay. No need to freak out. I mean, this is the first real, official date that you’ve had with this guy that you’re clearly head over heels for, but no need to panic.” Rebecca throws her hands up.
“That is not helping,” I say, rubbing my hands over my face, a little overwhelmed.
“Sorry. Look, you have nothing to worry about, he asked you on a date,” she reminds me gently.
“I know.” I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves as Rebecca scrolls through her phone.
“Can I ask you a question though?”
“Sure,” I tell her as I slip a shirt over my head that makes my boobs look fantastic.
“Do you know who babyyates is on social media?”
“No, why?” I turn around and face her.
“I’m sure it’s nothing, but she commented about how she can’t wait to see him on one of the pictures from the rodeo.”
My thumb finds my mouth as I absentmindedly rub my nail against my lip.
Is there someone else? Has he been seeing other women?
Logically, my brain says he spends most of his time with me so when would he have time, but the illogical part says maybe I’ve been fooled
.
“Did you check her profile?” I ask, making Rebecca scoff.
“What do you think I am, an amateur?” she demands. “I stalked her page, and it looks like she has a boyfriend who she is very much in love with, but you never know. I think she’s from Chicago or something. She has some pictures from there.”
“Huh,” I say, pulling my hand from my face, busying myself looking in the mirror. “Avi said before he came here, he was staying in a place called Bridgeton. He said it was close to Chicago. I bet it’s just his friend from back home. He’s mentioned her a couple of times.”
I try to sound confident, but I’m not. As much as we’ve been together, we’ve mostly avoided talks of the past. I don’t know what happened with this chick exactly, but he let it slip once that he had a thing for her before they decided they were better off as friends.
“Hey, I’m sure it’s nothing. But if you’re worried, all you have to do is ask Xavier. I’m pretty sure he would tell you.”
My phone buzzes and I grab it off my bed.
Avi: On my way up.
Me: Okay.
“He’s on his way up,” I tell her as I slide my phone into my pocket, grabbing what I need. “It’s none of my business. I mean, this is our first official date. Not our wedding.”
“Babe, if it worries you, you have a right to know. You guys are friends first and foremost. Don’t push your feelings aside because you’re scared of the outcome.”
I sigh. “I’ll think about it.”
She narrows her eyes at me, but eventually rolls them. “Fine.”
I should have known the word fine coming out of any woman’s mouth was a trap, even if she’s my best friend. Especially when she jumps, rushing toward the door when he knocks.
“Who’s babyyates?” she demands as she opens the door, making Xavier jerk back.
“Rebecca,” I chastise.
“Well, hello to you too, Becca.” Xavier laughs. “Babyyates? Like the username? That would be Tinsley, my best friend. Why?” he asks, tilting his head.
“She commented on one of our pictures and I got curious. Had to make sure it was nothing for me to worry about.” She shrugs. “She’s all yours,” she tells him, waving at me.
