“Are you going to try for some slap bass?”
“When the time calls for it,” I told her, playing another quick riff.
“I cannot wait all day for you to attack me,” Aya growled.
“Let’s do this then!” Iris struck a pose with her ukulele.
Sure, it looked a little funny, but I’d seen the damage she could do with that small instrument. This, coupled with her vast knowledge of music, Iris an interesting mix between classically trained musician and punk rocker, meant that she definitely was a force to be reckoned with.
“Forget it. This fight is useless. You’re a long-range attacker, and I’m close range,” Aya said suddenly, sheathing her blade.
“She does have a point,” I said. “If someone gets close enough to hit you with one of their weapons, then you have already failed by that point.”
“I can create a shield,” Iris started to say. “But I guess you are right, especially if my opponent is superfast.”
“What would be best is for you and Chase to go against each other,” Lady C. suggested. “That way, you can both use long-range attacks, and practice defense. Want to do that?”
I paused, looking from the Thulean to the Metican. “Iris versus me?”
“What? Are you scared?” asked Aya. “You should be able to crush the girl with glasses in a matter of moments, yet you cower like a frog before a cauldron of boiling water.”
“Why would a frog be next to a cauldron of boiling water?” Lady C. asked honestly.
“I do not know, Lady Cassandra, it is just something we Thuleans say. Enough with this! We will head to Ignis soon, and I would like to rest a bit before we go.”
“You don’t want to watch Iris kick my ass?”
Aya sighed irritably. “Chase, it would be a pleasure for me to watch Iris kick your ass, a true pleasure, but—and I’m sorry for this, Iris—I believe you may win this fight.”
“I’m practically the one that taught him how to fight,” Iris protested.
“Practically, but Chase is tricky; he knows how to lead a woman on and crush her in the end.”
“She’s just being dramatic now,” I told Iris as I stepped across from her. “Want to do this?”
“If you’re down.”
“Sure, why not?” I asked her.
“You will need more space than that,” said Lady C. as she came between us. “Each of you take ten steps back, how’s that? Then I will count it off, and you will begin.”
“Maybe I will stick around to watch this,” Aya said, posing on the sidelines with her arms crossed over her chest, putting most of her weight onto her left hip.
“Let’s do this,” Iris said once she got into position.
Rather than reply, or do any posturing, I immediately started running a bass scale that I knew would create a wave of energy.
The whirlwind of musical power spun around me; Iris trying to break through with an attack. My shield absorbed the hit and spun the blast away, sending it off into the Proxima Borealis.
Not one to let her first botched attack bring her down, Iris quickly plucked a few notes, each slice cutting into the ground beneath me, causing me to lose my balance.
From there, she went for a muffled bit, fast triplets, each of which pulled a rock out of the ground in front of me.
“What the…?”
The rocks grew in size, and they would have created a prison around me had I not skipped out just in time, moving to her left, the neck of my bass aimed at her.
I turned up the middle pickup, and hit a mid-range C, bending the neck back just a little as I did so, which caused a slingshot-like volley of energy to blast Iris down. She leapt out of the way just in time, but lost her instrument in the process.
Seeing my opening, I started up a low, rumbling note, adjusting the delay on my Heads Up Display and looping it, so the sound began to build all around me. Like I was a rockstar from over a hundred years ago, I brought my instrument up and fired off a shot, then another, and another, the delayed and looping sound creating a wall of power that swelled, obscuring the space between us.
I hadn’t really messed with looping before, but I went with it, realizing that I could no longer see Iris.
I had a good sense of where she was, the wall of sound I’d created oscillating back and forth, the three blasts colliding, fizzling, reforming.
I turned the distortion all the way up, and started playing power chords, each louder than the last. A platform tore out of the ground as I aimed my bass downward, lifting me above the looped energy I’d created. From my current vantage point, I could see Iris was confused, shocked when she saw that I’d risen above her.
But she also knew how to use power chords, and pulling her arm back, Iris fired off a shot that slammed into my chest.
-57 HP!
I couldn’t understand how she was moving so quickly, Iris suddenly a blur as she zipped around the energy I had created, heading toward the pillar I’d made.
She was planning to cut me down, and I realized my error in that moment.
Sure, I’d figured out a way to get a vantage point, but I hadn’t quite figured out a way to get down from here.
So I took a leap of faith.
Literally.
I jumped just as Iris cut into the pillar of stone with a powerful blast.
I ran my hand up the neck of the base and started throwing in some harmonics, each of which created an invisible cushion in front of me to land on. Like stepping down from the clouds, I ran toward the earth, still playing the harmonics, each step bringing me closer to the ground.
I landed and spun, immediately forming another shield by running a quick scale.
And not a moment too soon.
A wave of force slammed into the shield I’d created, sending me flying backward, my bass spinning around, held to my body by its strap.
-75 HP! Critical hit!
I landed hard on my face, the wind knocked out of me as Iris approached, ready to deliver a final blow.
But I wasn’t done yet.
I pressed up to my knees and pulled my bass around, quickly scraping my pick against the string.
Instakill!
The vertical blast cut Iris in half.
Her body started to reform, a smirk on her face.
“Yay, Chase!” Lady C. shouted.
“Whew, that was fast,” Iris said once she had reformed. “And Aya was right, it seems.”
“Nah, I got super lucky that time,” I admitted.
“Stop congratulating each other and keep killing! Again, and again!” Aya called over to us. I could see now that she had been joined by Spew Gorge, Mirror the phantom kangaroo, Fujin, Magnus, Altsoba and Sun Wukong. Even Joe Camel was making his way over from the meadow, suddenly interested in our little battle.
“And get your bets ready,” Aya told the group of mythcrea. “This time we’re playing for keeps.”
Chapter Five: Newest Edition
“So what did you do today?” Iris asked me after our lightning steeds landed in Kingdom Ignis.
It had been a pleasure watching Lady C. ride, even if we were technically blasting like rockets through the sky. Low to the horse, her hair beating in the wind behind her, the Metican was faster than all of us, even though we all had the same horses, which I assumed had the same stats.
And thinking this generated a submenu that allowed me to actually check our horses’ stats. In the end, there really wasn’t much to gain aside from their speed and their stamina.
And as I would have imagined, Kingdom Ignis was pretty fiery. Definitely a hellscape of sorts, with a river of lava cutting through its center.
I wouldn’t quite call the dudes walking around giants, but there were several who were twice my height, a bunch of goblins too, more goblins than I had ever seen in one location.
“Sorry, I was distracted,” I told Iris as a goblin passed in front of me, a thin guy with pockmarked cheeks. He said something to Spew Gorge, and Spew told him to “fick
the fick right the fick off.”
“Yikes,” I said under my breath.
“Double yikes,” said Iris as she tied up her horse. It wasn’t necessary to do this, they would come whenever we called them, but it did make things seem a little more real. “And you never answered my question. What did you do today?”
“I saw about something…” I looked to Lady C. and smiled. “Something different. I also had a brawl with that girl named Keegan. She told me that there was a rare monster club, or a meetup or something, happening soon...”
“I’ve heard of those,” said Iris. “People get together and talk about places to hunt monsters, show off what they’ve caught, battle, and sometimes, they even hunt as a team.”
“Is there anything you haven’t heard of when it comes to the Monster Hunt app?”
“Maybe,” she told me with a grin.
“Our little Iris is very smart, Chase, and you could learn something from her,” Aya said as she clapped me on the back. “But for now, we have to go to your little concert. Also, I expect a rendition of Happy Birthday. Are we clear?”
“Clear,” I told her as we waited for the others to gather around us.
The Huntresses were here, of course, Spew Gorge and Altsoba too. It was pretty much the same crew we had rolled with last time, Dalton having promised to meet us at the club.
“Whoa!” Iris said, a red flash painting across the lenses of her glasses.
I turned to see a great fireball erupt from a building a couple of blocks away. A platform rose out of the ground, a humanoid flame with arms and legs standing on top of it. The fiery being began waving the crowd in, calling for people to join, promising a good night of music from…
“That’s us,” Iris said after the doorman announced the night’s lineup.
“Fick, I don’t know why my uncle likes hot-ass chalupa holes,” said Spew Gorge. “All goblins seem to like hot locations, but not me. I get fickin’ sweaty. It makes no fickin’ sense why someone would want to be in a place where they get sweaty. I guess it’s the food, too. Lots of fried and grilled foods, spicy stuff. And it’s not so far from Kingdom Sana, and they got all those damn fickered potions. But fick, fick this place!”
“Is your uncle joining us tonight?” Iris asked.
“Fick if I know. I invited him, but he can be a real mitherficker when it comes to showing up to an event. He claims he has lots of enemies. I think he’s mostly just scared that he will embarrass himself.”
“I suppose we will save a seat for him,” Aya said, looking to Altsoba for confirmation. “That is, unless he is a filthy goblin. Is your uncle a filthy goblin?”
“Fick you, dragon lady! What the fick kind of question is that?”
“You are from Jatla, are you not?”
“I am,” Spew Gorge told her, bristling as we approached the club.
“Are not all filthy goblins from Jatla?”
Spew Gorge snorted. “Fick, she has a point there. Racist, sure, but fick is Jatla a shithole.”
“Let’s not accuse him of being filthy yet,” Iris said, stepping in.
The crowd of people wanting to get into the concert swelled around us. The streets had been empty just a few minutes back, but as soon as the flaming doorman stepped out and started announcing the concert, the crowd appeared seemingly out of nowhere.
It was going to be hard for us to go into the front, but luckily for us, we had a somewhat shady goblin at our disposal. Spew Gorge nodded us to the left, leading us into an alley and from there to the kitchen’s back entrance, which was guarded by a dark man made of blue fire.
“We’re with the band,” I said, my instrument appearing in my hand.
“If I had a dollar for every Alpha who told me that…” he said, his voice haggard.
“They’re with me,” said Dalton, emerging from the shadows. He startled everyone except Aya, who gave the ink shadow an appreciative nod.
“Fick!” Spew Gorge whispered under his breath. “The ficker almost made me shit my britches. Fick!”
The bouncer made of blue flames stepped aside, waving us in.
“Have you thought more about the recording studio?” Dalton said, the ink shadow suddenly behind me as I waited for the others to enter. It was weird having him around, especially when he just appeared out of thin air.
“We will get one installed soon,” I told him as we entered a kitchen that smelled like frying meat. From there, we took a left down a hallway lit by a single light.
“Good, because I’ve got ideas in my skull just waiting to come out. Just waiting!”
I paused, the ink shadow turning to me. “You have a skull?”
“Of course I have a skull, everyone does. Mine is just a little bit…” He slinked to the floor and returned. “Loosey goosy.”
“Here’s where we part ways,” Lady C. said. “We’ll be in the front row, as always. This time, try not to get into a fight with the audience. But if you do, we got your back!” She winked at me as she turned right, Aya and the other two following her.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
“Anything in particular you want to play tonight?” Iris asked as we continued toward the stage, and from there to a small room off to the left.
“You know my style by now,” said Dalton coolly. “We go with the flow, and we go with the flow well. Just moving and grooving. Let’s see what kind of magic we can make.”
Iris’ ukulele appeared in her hands and she began tuning it up, getting her fingers loose. I went for my bass as well, a chromatic tuner taking shape over my pane of vision. I was pretty much in tune, but I checked anyway, each vibrating note causing a little needle on my HUD to tremble left and right.
Once I was good and tuned up, I played another slap bass riff, the ink shadow nodding along.
“Yeah, throw some of that in tonight, let’s keep this percussive, light on our feet, up and down, you know the drill,” he said, pacing as he nodded to the riff I was playing.
“Since when did you get into playing like that?” Iris asked.
“I guess I have had more pep in my step as of late,” I told her with a shrug. “Maybe it’s due to my recent luck.”
“Luck will do that to you, lead you astray,” the shadow sang. “One moment it’s your friend, the next it’s gone away.”
A halfling stepped into the band room and let us know that we’d be on in a few minutes. His hair was on fire, which was sort of strange, but it didn’t seem to bother him as he left, clipboard clutched tightly to his chest.
“It’s going to be a bit of a rough crowd,” said Dalton, “but it should be better than Sana. Just keep the tempo up, the grooves groovy, the crowd moving, the broads swooning…” He smiled at Iris. “We’ll be all right.”
“You just needed a word to rhyme with groove, didn’t you?”
“Perhaps.” Dalton pulled a gnarled water bong from the center of his form. I didn’t know how he stored it in there, but I assumed he had an inventory list just like the rest of us. He took a huge hit off the bong, which was apparently already lit, his body filling with smoke.
After a long pause, he exhaled all the smoke, coughing it out and going for another hit.
It wasn’t long after that the halfling stage manager reentered, waving his hand at the smoke, giving the ink shadow a nasty look.
“What, brother?” Dalton asked. “It’s a medicine. Never forget that. Soothes the soul.”
The halfling mumbled something under his breath as he pointed toward the stage. “You’re on!”
We did the same routine as before, Iris and I going out first, warming up the crowd a little bit. I stuck to some of my slap bass this time, playing a thumpy groove that got the audience bobbing along. Once Iris jumped in, even more heads bobbing in the audience.
“Good luck, Chase!” Lady C. shouted from the front of the crowd.
I smiled at her, noticing that she now had a drink, Aya too.
There was a big orc next to them, but by the way he was looking at
me I sensed that it was actually Altsoba, who had probably taken the form to be an enforcer of sorts. I also saw Spew Gorge clapping and whistling, the short goblin already on the verge of drunk.
After a few more minutes, Dalton waltzed out, tiptoeing to the music. He paused; Iris and I stopped and looked to the crowd, waiting for their cheers to kick into high gear.
Dalton took another step; Iris and I played a single note, before he took another step, and we did the same thing again. He shuffled back and forth. With each step back, we ran down the necks of our instruments, mimicking his movements.
It was a theatrical concert in the end, lots of back and forth with the audience, Dalton swelling to epic proportions and shrinking to the size of a mouse as Iris and I crescendoed our playing.
He sang in what I later realized was Thulean, mostly from the times Aya had spoken it, or more accurately, used it to curse at someone.
At some point, the ink shadow went all falsetto, which sounded entirely eerie as he sang the words, “Luck is luck is luck is luck, and sometimes the rules write the game; get ready to duck when the walls cave in, death is where the fun begins.”
Once we finished, the three of us returned to the room at the side of the stage, still buzzing from that concert high.
“Good show, good show,” Dalton said, now a more manageable size. He was about as tall as me, withered a bit, clutching his bong tightly as our friends joined us.
“Thank you for singing in my language,” Aya told him. “But you forgot to sing Happy Birthday.”
“It’s my language too,” he told her, offering her a nod. “And next time, we’ll include that one in our next set. Care to partake?” he asked, handing her his bong.
“I do not smoke ink shadow narcotics,” she said.
“Suit yourself. That just means more for me,” he said with a wide grin.
Spew Gorge pumped his fists into the air. “What a fun fickin’ concert! Best yet, guys!”
“Did you find your uncle?” asked Iris.
“No, that ficker could be anywhere.”
Altsoba, who was now in her skin-walker form, took a sip from her drink and smiled at the goblin. “There were at least fifty goblins in the crowd out there; are you sure one of them wasn’t your uncle?”
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