“This means a lot to hear. Just keep that between the two of us. Please don’t tell Mom and Dad Scotty was over, our little secret.”
“Okay. Can I have some apple juice?”
I rolled my eyes and stood up. “Sure,” I said, pouring a glass of Juicy Juice. “Remember our little secret.”
“Yup.” She giggled, running away.
I turned to Scotty. “Well now my siblings know. The only ones left to tell are my parents.”
“Yup, sounds like my story. I told my sister first, then my brother and some friends. Parents are always last to know and the hardest to tell. Aside from admitting it to yourself. When the time is right, you’ll know.”
I smiled and kissed Scotty. “Thanks, babe. Let’s go watch Finding Nemo.”
Scotty grabbed the pizza and followed me into the living room, setting it on the coffee table. Amy was sitting on the floor, two feet away from the TV.
“You know if you sit any closer, you’ll rot your brain,” I joked.
She ignored me and scooted back a moment later and took some pizza.
My little sister stared at Scotty and me, then smiled. “You two are cute together,” she said before going back to the movie.
Joy and heat permeated from my cheeks, and the same energy engulfed my heart. Whether or not she knew it, what Amy said meant the world to me. I laid back and pulled Scotty between my legs and wrapped my arms around him. Right on cue I started tracing the same heart formation on his hand I seemed to do from time to time with my thumb. Scotty looked up and I leaned down and kissed him. I laid back and focused on the movie. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.
§ § § §
Quarter to nine rolled around fast. I noticed Amy was asleep, so I carried her up the stairs and to her room. I stopped outside her door and whispered to Scotty.
“I’ll meet you in my room.”
I put Amy in her bed, tucking her in, and then went to meet Scotty in my room. He was on the balcony, leaning against the railing. I joined, hugged him from behind. The sky was clear tonight, visible were the meteor’s that occasionally streaked the sky.
“Hey, the stars look nice.”
“Yeah, did you know there was a meteor shower tonight?” I asked, stating the obvious.
“I did. Did you see that one?” Scotty excitedly asked.
“Yes. You should see the stars back in Maine. Less light pollution. They’re amazing, especially during the winter. Even though I know it’s not possible, it’s like the colder weather makes them look brighter or something.”
Scotty lightly tugged on my hands, his way of saying hold me tighter, so I did.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you too.”
We watched an extremely large meteor streak across the sky. I felt Scotty turn in my arms as he tracked it and when he faced me, I pulled him in for a hug.
“Do you want to lie down?” I asked rubbing his back.
“Sure.”
We walked into my room, closing the door behind us. Scotty laid down on my bed and looked so inviting in the dim light. I crawled toward him and we continued to watch the meteor shower through the sky light. His head rested against my chest, quickly he fell asleep. I brushed my fingers through his hair and soon drifted to sleep myself.
§ § § §
“Kyle! Get down here, now!”
I turned in my bed thinking I was in a dream and ignored the yelling in the distance. I heard a loud bang at the base of the stairs then stomping on the steps. Followed by crashing against the wall at the top of the stairs.
“Kyle!” my father yelled.
My eye’s shot open. I stared into Scotty’s eyes. We both had looks of panic on our faces. Was it really midnight already? How long had we fallen asleep? Were we going to get caught? My breath quickened. I got up, slipping off the bed, and stumbled to the floor. Scotty followed close behind and we were halfway across the room when something slammed against my bedroom door. The knob jiggled. I did the only thing I could think to do and pushed Scotty behind the balcony curtains just as my door swung open. I jumped when I heard the door slam against the wall. I spun around and faced my father. My breathing slowed. I watched as my dad swayed back and forth, clearly drunk, and leaned against the door frame.
“Jesus Dad, you scared me!”
“What are you doing over there?” he asked, stumbling toward me.
“Ah nothing.” I stepped forward.
“Boy, you better not got someone hiding in over there so help me god I’ll kill—” I interrupted him.
“No Dad. I thought I heard something, so I went to the balcony to see.”
He stumbled closer to me again. He looked around then looked back at me. Dad made his way for the balcony, thrashing his arms around the curtains for a second before opening and closing the balcony door. For the life of me, I have no idea how he didn’t see or feel Scotty. He turned toward me.
“I saw three plates downstairs. Did you have someone over boy?”
“No Dad.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not.”
He looked at me. Eye’s a little bloodshot, sweat building on his brow. He licked his lips and dabbed them dry with the sleeve of his shirt. I was petrified he’d discover Scotty and my secret would be revealed. I didn’t so much have an issue telling him when he was sober, but in this state, I could only imagine what his reaction would be. Sweat built on my brow the longer he stood in my room. I did my best to hide my panic, he didn’t seem to notice.
“Where’s Mom?”
“Downstairs cleaning up your mess. How many times must I fuckin’ tell you to clean up after yourself and turn the TV off when you’re done using it.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t—” he hiccupped, “Do it ‘gain!” he said pointing his finger at me.
“Okay, Dad.”
Just then Scotty’s phone went off.
“Shit.” I barely heard Scotty whisper.
“Waz that?” he asked turning toward the curtains.
“It’s my phone.”
I pulled it out and showed him the screen just as everything went quiet. I noticed they were an hour early. I stared at my father while he eyed me. He swayed back and stumbled into the curtains and Scotty; he didn’t seem to notice because he stood straight and walked back toward the door and slammed it shut. I heard him trample down the hall. On the wall was a hole where the handle had smashed through, a crack splintered horizontally up and down a couple of inches. I sighed and quickly locked my door. Lowering my head, I began to shake. I felt Scotty touch my shoulder, then he walked in front of me and held me tight.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“It’s okay, I’m sorry if he hurt you,” I said in a shaky voice.
“He didn’t, I managed to move out of the way. Want me to go?” Scotty asked, as he started to back up.
I pulled him close and held on tighter. “Don’t go.”
It scared me to see my dad drunk. I knew he’d never hit me, but I still wondered what he was capable of if someone made him angry. I was thankful he rarely drank this much, if I had to put up with it all the time, I don’t know what I’d do. Scotty adjusted, I squeezed him tighter.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Scotty whispered.
We hugged for several minutes, then I heard my father coming up the stairs again. We quickly kissed, said our goodbyes. He escaped down the balcony’s spiral staircase, then he was gone.
CHAPTER TWENTY: LATE MORNING LULLABY
After what happened the other night, Scotty and I decided to halt his visits. I was petrified, somehow my father was going to catch us. As the days passed, I discovered I was resenting my dad at every turn. Mad he felt it was warranted to tell me who I was and wasn’t allowed to hang out with. Pissed that no matter what, nothing I did was ever going to be good enough for him. Enraged I wasn’t officially out and could be me, the real me I’d been hiding all this time.
At home I s
hould feel safe and free, yet I was still in the closet. Days ticked by without seeing Scotty, the only person who brought life back into me. This didn’t last long though, it felt like a month had passed, when in fact only seven days went by since my father drunkenly stumbled into my room. I started spending more time at Scotty’s place. Somehow, the Friday before Valentine’s Day he managed to pick me up without anyone recognizing him. I guess sunglasses really are the best disguise.
“What do you have for homework?” Scotty asked opening the car door for me.
“Nothing.” He eyed me over his shades, I sighed. “Calculus, I have to write an essay for English, and read a chapter from my history book.”
“Exactly, I’ll leave you to it then,” Scotty joked.
“It’s okay, it’s not due till Monday, I have all weekend,” I said.
“I don’t care, homework comes first. That’s our rule.”
I slouched against the seat admitting defeat. “Fine.”
He smirked, removed his shades, and sped away from my school. I looked down and saw his hand—palm side up— hovering over the center console. His typical peace offering when he was right, and I was wrong. Naturally, I took his hand and felt grounded again. With my other hand I texted Emilie. I’m on my way to his house :) Cover for me.
“So how was school?”
“It was okay. I ran into Shane today.”
“This is the same guy who gave you the bruise on your stomach?”
“Yeah,” I replied.
“I really wish you would speak to someone about this.”
“I told you it won’t do any good. It’ll just agitate him more.”
Truth was I fought with words not my hands. A part of me pitied Shane. He only seemed to pick on gay kids, which led me to believe he was questioning his own sexuality and taking it out on me.
“I’m worried about you.” Scotty squeezed my hand.
My phone vibrated against my thigh, I grabbed it and viewed Emilie’s reply.
Of course. You two have been dating for a while. When do I get to officially meet him?
My fingers quickly moved from letter to letter. Tomorrow? Dinner and a movie? I sent the message and looked up at him.
“Don’t be. I’m used to it and know it’s not going to change anytime soon. Besides, I don’t believe in dealing with a bully by throwing punches or tattling. If it makes you feel better, I can look into a self-defence class.” I brushed it off but felt him squeeze my hand again.
“Deal, you should know how to defend yourself. We both should.”
“True.”
“So, what do you feel like doing this weekend?”
“Care to go see a movie tomorrow? My friend Emilie wants to properly meet you.”
“She worked with you right? She was our waitress the day I taught you to surf?”
“Good memory, yes. Apparently being your waitress wasn’t a proper enough introduction.”
Scotty laughed.
“That would be fun,” he finally replied.
“Sweet.”
My phone vibrated again, I looked down at the text. Works for me! I need a ride though my dad won’t let me borrow the car.
“I hate to ask this, is it okay if we pick her up?”
“Yeah, no problem.”
“Cool.”
Scotty said we’ll pick you up, I’ll text you when where on our way.
I set my phone down and turned all my focus to Scotty. His eyes were glued on the road, so I leaned against the door and watched life pass us by until we reached his house. I noticed the Jeep was in the driveway when I grabbed my backpack from the back seat and followed him to the door.
“I forgot to tell you,” he said.
“What?”
“My sister is staying with me for a few days.”
“Your sister? But I haven’t met your family yet.”
“I’ve met all of yours, well aside from your older sister. It’s about time you meet mine.” Scotty took my hand. “She’ll love you.”
“How do you know?”
“’Cause I love you.”
Scotty’s sister was sitting on the couch holding a cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other. She looked up and smiled when I dropped my bag off by the door. She leaned forward to set the cup and book down on the coffee table and stood to greet us. Scotty and I walked forward still holding hands. This was how it should be at home.
“Sara, this is Kyle, Kyle this is my sister, Sara.”
Sara extended her hand and I shook it. She was just as beautiful as Scotty. She tilted her head to the side and smiled. Her shoulder length brown hair followed and momentarily curtained her face. She brushed it back and smiled wider. Unlike Scotty, she had deep blue eyes, making me wonder for a moment if she were adopted.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I said.
“Likewise, I’ve heard so many great things about you,” Sara replied.
The thought of giving Sara a hug crossed my mind, but before I could a loud bang in the kitchen startled us. We all looked in the direction of the noise. Sara leaned toward Scotty.
“Ah, so, Mom’s here by the way. She insisted on making dinner for us tonight,” Sara said.
So, I’m meeting not only his sister, but also his mom. Keep calm Kyle, meeting the family is normal in a relationship. The bigger deal is when families meet each other.
Before my thoughts got the better of me, Scotty gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and said, “Oh God, we’re adults. We can take care of ourselves.”
“You’re twenty and I just turned twenty-two, we hardly measure up to the status of adult. Maybe naive adults. Besides, you know how parents are.”
“Parents, like plural?” I questioned.
“Yes plural. Dad is at the store getting some food for dinner he should be back any moment.”
Just then the door opened.
“I’m back!” I heard a deep voice yell from behind me.
“Speak of the devil,” Sara murmured.
I turned around and faced Scotty’s dad. He looked at us and smiled at me. He had kind eyes, and a few lines around them which suggested he laughed a lot. His hair was a dark chestnut brown and wavy, like Scotty’s, with flecks of salt and pepper scattered throughout. Scotty’s dad was probably a few inches taller than mine and looked simultaneously nice and intimidating. His eyes were focused. Scotty clearly got his eyes and smile from his father.
“Well hello, you must be Alan,” he said, then grinned wider. “Only kidding, how are you Kyle.”
“Uh… Good. Hi Mr. Valentin.”
“Please call me Dean.”
“Alright, Dean.”
He adjusted the paper bag in his arm and extended a massive, calloused hand. I shook it.
“Nice to meet you, firm handshake,” Dean said.
“Thank you, nice to meet you, too.”
He offered another smile and I watched him walk toward the kitchen. A small, petite woman walked out, and they kissed, before she walked up to us. She and Sara looked a lot alike, except her eyes were baby blue compared to Sara’s cobalt. She wore a black T-shirt with a Warhol photo of Marilyn Monroe, a pair of jeans, and had an adorable pink and white paisley apron tied around her waist. I was starting to feel overwhelmed with all the people I was meeting at once. But Scotty was right, it was time I met his family. Scotty rubbed my back, comforting me. I looked at him and smiled, then looked back at his mom. She smiled at us and then looked directly at me.
“Hi Kyle, I’m Tina. I’d shake your hand but mine are covered in flour,” Tina said, placing her hands on her hips.
Without thinking I stepped forward and gave her a hug. I stepped back and smiled, she smiled back.
“Pleased to meet you,” I said.
“He’s a hugger. I can see why my son likes you, you’re cute and polite.”
“Mom,” Scotty whined.
Tina grinned and rubbed Scotty’s arm. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to cooking.”
I picked up my bag and turned to Scotty. He gazed at me as though he was lost at sea and I was the horizon. He always smiled, and I loved it. All I wanted was to kiss him, a kiss would calm my nerves and make my troubles disappear. Even if it was only temporary. Sara went back to her book.
“What are you reading?” I asked.
“Wuthering Heights,” she said turning a page.
“Nice, good read.”
I ventured through the kitchen and into Scotty’s room. Scotty followed, closing the door behind us.
“Shouldn’t we keep it open?” I timidly asked.
“No trust me. Mom will be coming in every five minutes asking if you want to try some of her cooking,” Scotty said.
I stood by the foot of his bed and pulled out my history book. Scotty pinched my butt as he walked by.
“What was I thinking giving your mom a hug?”
“You know, they like you a lot. I can tell.”
“Really, you sure? Because I couldn’t.”
Scotty smiled and kissed me. My worries melted away.
“They’ve never made dinner the first time they’re meeting a boyfriend. My sister is always glued to a book, the fact that she put it down to say hi to you means a lot.” Scotty laughed.
“I love your laugh,” I said kissing him. “It’s weird meeting parents! You sure they like me?” I questioned.
“Yes, I’m sure. They just want me to be happy. If I’m happy then they’re happy.” Scotty looked down at my books. “So, what are you studying in history?”
“The Cold War and Berlin Wall.”
“Cool.” He sounded rather distant.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I sometimes wish I had gotten the full high school experience. This whole acting thing just took off out of nowhere, and I quickly became wrapped up in project after project.”
“Do you wish you had lived a different life?”
“In a way yes.”
“Think we would have met if you weren’t an actor?”
He shrugged but didn’t say anything. I handed him my history book.
“Here catch up.”
He chuckled and pushed it away. “I know my stuff. I just missed out on things like prom and graduation.”
Playing It Out Straight Page 28
