by Jessie Cooke
Ama smiled at her. It was hard for Jolene to believe she’d only known these people for a month—Ama especially. They had all been so warm and welcoming toward her, making her feel right at home from day one. Her time in Phoenix was coming to an end too quickly and as much as she still wanted to explore other places and cultures, leaving these people was going to be the very definition of hard. At least she knew she had made friendships while she was there that would last a lifetime, and she could come back and visit. But still, she would miss them.
“Maybe it’s a good sign,” Ama said. “Have you ever heard what Plato had to say about twin souls?” Jolene tried not to smile. Since she’d been on the reservation, Ama had quoted many old sayings to her. Most of them were Navajo but others were derived from different Native American cultures, so while she had almost expected one, a two and a half thousand-year-old Greek was a surprise.
“No, I can’t say that I have.”
“Well, Plato believed that everyone has a twin soul and in one of his talks about it he said, ‘When one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight, even for a moment.’”
“So you’re saying he might be my soulmate?”
“He could be. I’m saying, my dear, that you should always keep an open mind.”
Jolene had never given much thought to soulmates so she wasn’t even sure it was something she believed in. Where she respected and admired her parents’ relationship, she would never think of them as “soulmates.” Her father pursued her mother for months before she ever even agreed to go out with him. To hear her mother tell the story, their first date was a disaster and they went months without even seeing each other after that. Then one day they just happened to come face to face during a St. Patrick’s Day celebration on Bourbon Street. Her mother claimed now she was drunk and that’s the only reason she agreed to give him another chance. Eventually she fell in love with him and they ended up spending thirty happy years together so far, but Jolene had to think that if they were soulmates, things wouldn’t have been so hard.
“I’ve just never really thought about soulmates,” Jolene said. “You believe in them, Ama?”
Ama walked over to the window and looked out at the red mountains across from them and said, “How can anyone look around at the miracles that Mother Earth has created for us and not believe anything is possible?”
Jolene had to admit that she had felt closer to God since she’d been on the reservation than she ever had in her life. Coming from a Catholic family, she had different religious beliefs than her host family did, but the bottom line was that it was impossible to look around at the beauty that surrounded them and not believe in miracles. “You’re right, Ama. I guess I overthink things too much sometimes.”
Ama turned and smiled at her again. Moving a stray red curl back out of her face the older woman said:
“You’re a very smart girl and that beautiful brain of yours is going to take you far in life. But remember, when it comes to love, it’s best to feel and not think. Let your heart and soul tell you which direction to turn.”
Jolene shared a lot of things with her own mother, but she would never tell her that Ama told her that. Her much too serious Italian mother constantly told her to “use her head” when it came to men. Jolene hadn’t had terrible luck. Most of the men she’d dated for any period of time were still her friends. But her mother hadn’t approved of any of them as potential husbands or fathers for those grandchildren she wanted so badly. Jolene hadn’t either, obviously, but she also hadn’t been looking for a husband or father for her future children. She was twenty-five and she thought she had plenty of time. She wanted to explore the world first. She wanted to be free for a while before she was forced to settle down.
The sound of a motorcycle driving up out front sent a rush of fresh butterflies flapping their wings in her belly. She decided to think of them as excitement rather than nerves. Riding on the back of a Harley had always been on her bucket list and as long as AJ didn’t kill them, it should be fun. Jolene kissed Ama on her wrinkled cheek and grabbed her camera bag. She stopped at the door of the hogan and took a deep breath before stepping outside. AJ was just getting off the bike, and she was thankful for the extra air in her lungs. She needed it when she looked at him. He was beautiful, especially when he smiled.
“Hey there,” he said as Jolene walked closer to the gate. When she got close enough she could smell his fresh, masculine cologne. He was wearing a tan t-shirt, jeans, and cowboy boots. His dark hair was messy, thanks to the helmet he’d just pulled off his head, but it just made him look that much sexier. She did prefer the stubble he’d had on his face when she first met him to the completely smooth look. Jolene had always liked beards. It probably had something to do with growing up around fishermen. But he was still drop-dead gorgeous, so she wasn’t complaining.
“Hi,” she said in return as he pulled open the gate for her.
“You look amazing.” Jolene was sure he was exaggerating, but it was nice nonetheless. She was wearing comfortable clothes designed for tromping through a zoo and taking photographs. She had on jeans, a white scoop-neck t-shirt, and white tennis shoes. She’d thought about straightening her hair that morning, but it took hours and since this wasn’t technically a “date” she didn’t want to overdo it. So it lay across her shoulders and down her back in its natural tight ringlets and she suddenly realized that she was going to be a hot mess after an hour on the back of his bike, with the helmet on that he was now holding out to her.
“Thank you,” she said, taking the helmet out of his hands. “You look great too.” She looked at the bike and back at AJ. He was grinning.
“So, you’ve never been on the back of a Harley?”
“Nope, never.”
“Well, that’s okay because you’ll be the first person I’ve ever had on the back of mine.”
“So...I’m like practice?” she asked.
Laughing he said, “Well, no. To be honest, I was embarrassed to tell you. My ‘practice’ person was a two-hundred-pound biker with a beer belly and a long beard that poked the back of my neck the entire time.” She giggled and he said, “That’s not the worst of it. His name is Bubba and I think he actually enjoyed the whole thing.”
Laughing again she said, “Okay then, I guess I owe Bubba a thanks for warming you up.” She slipped the helmet on and as her fingers fumbled with each other, trying to strap it tightly underneath her chin, AJ slipped his skullcap on. She was thinking again about how hot he was when he brought his big hands up and she felt his fingers touching hers while he helped her with the chinstrap. That caused her to shudder and when she looked into his eyes she could see that he noticed. If that wasn’t embarrassing enough, she felt her face burn up and she knew it was probably as red as her hair.
It took him a while to look satisfied with the strap on her helmet, but she didn’t mind. She liked him touching her, even if it was only the backs of his rough fingers against the smooth skin of her neck. Once he was finally satisfied, he smiled again, winked at her, and got on the bike. “Just slide on behind me and get comfortable,” he told her. “Don’t be afraid to hold on tightly either; link your fingers together in front if they’ll reach. I promise not to take any turns too tightly or curves too fast.”
Jolene put the strap of her camera bag over her head and tucked the camera behind her before throwing her long leg over the bike. Once she was settled into the seat, AJ started the bike and she could feel the vibrations begin in her thighs and work their way up throughout the rest of her body. He reached up and flipped his sunglasses down over his eyes and while she was trying to work up her nerve to wrap her arms around his body, he took the initiative, sliding his hands over hers and pulling them around his waist. When they met in the middle he gave them a little squeeze and then let go to put both of his hands on the handlebars of the bike. Jolene could feel
the heat of his touch even when he let go. “Lean into me,” he said, putting the bike into gear and accelerating slowly. At that point Jolene felt like she might go off the bike backwards, so fear won out over shyness and she rested the side of her face up against his back and squeezed him even tighter.
AJ went slow until they were out on the paved road, and then he opened up the throttle. Jolene held on tighter but after a few minutes she found that she couldn’t stop smiling. She even pulled her head up enough that she could watch the scenery as it passed by. She’d just been thinking about feeling “free” and she wondered if that’s why AJ had bought the bike. The feeling of the wind against her face and the vibrations between her legs were one of the most free and exciting feelings she’d ever had. Of course, the warm gorgeous man in front of her added some of the thrill to it all too.
AJ stopped about halfway to Window Rock so they could get off the bike and stretch their legs. He was so sweet, asking her how she was doing and how she liked it. He smiled when she said, “I love it. I never thought I’d like it so much. It makes me feel...free. That’s the only word I can think of.”
He was still smiling but had a look in his eyes that almost resembled nostalgia as he said, “That’s the perfect word. When I bought it, I was looking for something I was passionate about and I’ve recently discovered that being free is at the top of that list.”
“It’s at the top of mine too,” she said with a smile. “Is that why you’re not in a relationship too?” As soon as she said that, she wanted to take it back. Not only did she realize it was way too soon to ask a question like that, but his dark eyes suddenly clouded and he looked sad. Before he answered her she said, “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I asked you that, it’s way too personal.”
“Don’t be sorry. I don’t mind. I was just trying to think about how to answer it. I was in a relationship, pretty recently. I was engaged.” Jolene felt something like disappointment fill her chest and she wondered how “recently” his relationship had been. Is he looking for some kind of rebound thing? “I didn’t really realize until it was over how trapped I felt, or how little I really knew about myself and what I really wanted out of life.”
“Well, you’re definitely not alone there,” she said.
“Really?” he said, teasing. “You mean you don’t have every detail of your life planned out yet?”
“Nope, not every detail, not yet. I do know when I finally figure it out, it’s going to be something that sets my soul on fire, be it my career, a man, my children...I’m not going to settle for anything less than being completely satisfied. I’m going to work toward my goals every day of my life and pray for the best.”
Jolene talked a good talk, but she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it was a bad thing that she was on a “date” with a man who had just called off his engagement because he felt “trapped.” Was he just looking for a rebound? Did he think she’d just make a nice little summer fling? AJ got on the bike and as she slipped on behind him she decided that the real question was, would it bother her if he did? She still had far to go before she was ready to settle down. AJ was looking for himself and his passion. She knew what her passion was, but she was still a long way from knowing where she wanted to end up, so maybe the timing was perfect. Maybe they didn’t have to be soulmates but instead they could be just two kindred souls helping each other pass on to the next step or next adventure on the path to self-discovery.
Jolene wrapped her arms around his waist and AJ fired up the bike. The vibrations of the powerful machine caused her hands to slip and simultaneously she felt them come to rest on his erect cock. It was only for half a second because she pulled them back up, quickly, and tightened them around his waist. Neither of them said anything, but Jolene hadn’t missed the violent shudder that ripped through his body when she accidentally touched him. Whatever it was that she was feeling, he seemed to be feeling it too. AJ took off, smoothly guiding the bike back into highway traffic and Jolene leaned into his warm back, tightened her grip and smiled. Being a kindred spirit might be a lot more fun than she ever imagined.
9
Window Rock, Arizona
“I’ve lived in Arizona my entire life and I’ve never been here,” AJ said as they got off the bike at the zoo.
“The zoo, or Window Rock?” Jolene asked him.
“Both,” he said. “My mother was raised here, in Window Rock.”
“So you are Navajo?”
AJ nodded but then with a sad expression he said, “I’m afraid I haven’t been too true to my heritage.”
Jolene ran her fingers through her wild mane of hair as they walked toward the entrance. “Can I ask why?”
He shook his head. “Honestly, I’m not sure. My parents were both raised in the Navajo Nation but by the time my sister and I were born, they’d moved to Tempe and now that I think about it, it’s strange to me that we never even visited. My grandfather lived with us until he died, and he barely even spoke English. My parents both spoke Diné and made sure my sister and I learned it and my dad told me a lot of Navajo stories...but it’s only been recently and after my parents were both gone that I wondered about why we never came here, even to visit.”
Jolene did think that was odd, especially after spending time on the reservation and seeing the high regard in which the Diné people held their family and ancestors. She didn’t comment on it, however; instead she said, “I love it here, in Arizona. I grew up in Louisiana. My mother and I took a few trips back east when I was a kid, but this is my first time out west.”
“And you’re here for work?” he asked as she dug her press pass out of her camera bag.
“Yes, to photograph the Navajo people and the land the reservations are on. This is my first stop.” She showed her press pass and AJ took out the fee for his entrance and they went in through the gates. AJ stopped then and said:
“So, you’re just passing through?”
“Yes. After this I’ll head for Utah for a while, and then spend some time in New Mexico.” She snapped a picture of the entry sign and then changing the subject she said, “Did you know this zoo started with one little black bear?”
He smiled. “I didn’t even know this zoo was here.”
“The animals were housed at the fairgrounds in the ’60’s and ultimately after they had acquired enough for an exhibit they moved them here. In a ten-year span they acquired over one hundred animals; a lot of them were culturally-important domestic animals.” As she talked, they walked towards where the exhibits began.
“What exactly are culturally-important domestic animals?”
She smiled. He really didn’t know much about his own culture. “Horses, domestic fowl, Churro sheep...”
He grinned and her heart skipped a beat. “Isn’t a churro one of those bread things with cinnamon and sugar?”
She laughed. “Yes, but not in this case.”
“Oh, good, because I was picturing a sheep on a stick dipped in syrup or something.”
Still laughing she said, “The Navajo and Hopi acquired this specific breed from the Spanish during the Spanish Inquisition back in the 1600s.”
“Wow, you should be like a historian or something.”
“I studied a lot about the Navajo before I came here. I didn’t want to show up and do something to offend someone right off the bat. Since I’ve been here, I’ve learned a lot too. If you get a chance, you should visit the reservation where I’m staying and talk to some of the people. They’re all really nice and the elders can answer just about any question you have.”
“I’ve been planning on it,” he said. “I’ve just been so busy.”
She began snapping photographs and while she worked she said, “So are you just visiting Phoenix?”
He watched her take a few pictures of the spider monkeys and then he said, “Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m doing.” She didn’t know how to respond to that so she moved on to the lemur exhibit and began to take photos of them. He followed her and
when he was next to her again he said, “I know this will probably sound strange at my age, but I came here to kind of look for myself.”
“What age is your age?” she asked.
“Thirty-five.” When she didn’t say anything he said, “Too old?”
She laughed. “For what, exactly?” She hadn’t taken her eyes off the animals when she said it but suddenly she felt his hand on her face. He touched her softly and turned her head so she was looking at him.
“For you?”
Her whole body quivered when he touched her and for a second she forgot to breathe. “I’m legal,” she said.
He laughed. “Good to know. Seriously, though,” he said, letting go of her face. She finally took a deep breath as he said, “I own a construction business and I was engaged. I broke up with my fiancée and that triggered something inside of me. I realized that I hadn’t been happy for a long time and then I walked into this bar and this old Navajo guy was there...”
“Wait! I’ve heard this one, but it was a priest...”
He laughed and said, “Yeah, it also works with a rabbi.” Jolene was glad he appreciated her silly sense of humor. He waited a beat and then he went on. Jolene kept snapping photos as he talked, enjoying his voice in the background. “So, this older man told me that I should get to know myself and find out what my passion is. He also told me I should reconcile with my sister, who hasn’t talked to me in almost two years. She and her husband own a restaurant in Phoenix.”
