by M. J. Haag
I wasn’t sure if I was making the right choice, but I was tired of waiting for the sake of waiting. More time wouldn’t help me make this choice. The only way I’d know if we were right together was by trying.
Circling the couch, I studied him. His hands were loose at his sides, palms resting on the cushions. His sharp gaze tracked each move I made, though. He was a juxtaposition of calm and ready to pounce.
I stopped in front of him and moved his hands a little farther away from his thighs. Then, I straddled his lap like I had to give him his arm rub.
“I like this,” he said, his voice all rumbly and filled with man satisfaction. “Can I touch you?”
I hesitated to say yes. If I did, there was every chance I’d lose myself too deeply. And Tor’s earlier observation had been right. When I started to feel too much too quickly, it made me pull back.
“Will you be disappointed if I ask you to keep your hands on the couch?”
“No.”
I stroked my fingers along his cheek and brow, learning the texture of his skin and the nuances of his facial features. His nose was strong and cheekbones high and prominent. They balanced his proud brow and square jaw. He twitched under me when I ran a finger along the edge of his ear.
“Sensitive?” I asked.
“Very.”
“You tug on them when you’re upset. It makes me want to pull your hands away and kiss the parts that you made dark. It can’t feel good.”
“It would feel very good if you kissed them when they are dark.”
I grinned at his serious expression.
“I meant that it can’t feel good to tug on them.”
I leaned in until my chest rested against his and my mouth was close to the long edge of his ear.
“I like your ears.”
He shivered under me. I smoothed my hands over his shoulders, using them as an anchor as I closed the distance and ran my tongue along the edge of an ear before kissing it. He kept his hands on the couch while I nibbled and kissed my way to his jaw and across his cheek. But he trembled, and his hips twitched non-stop.
“Allow me to touch you, June,” he rasped when my lips finally hovered over his.
“Can you wait a little longer?”
His gaze swept over my face. I could read the absolute need there. A hunger so intense and consuming, I knew he would swallow me whole when I finally caved.
“I know I’m asking a lot. I just want to kiss you now. Nothing else. And I’m afraid, if I say yes to touching, this is going to turn into more than kissing.”
He closed his eyes, but not before I saw the torment in them.
“Kiss me, June. I will not touch you.”
Cradling his face between my palms, I smoothed my thumbs over his skin.
“Thank you, Tor,” I said softly.
He groaned when I brushed my lips against his, and I felt him jerk beneath me. I pulled back to look at him, and his eyes snapped open.
“More,” he growled.
I willingly dipped my head and nibbled at his firm bottom lip. Tor didn’t play around there. He opened his mouth and nipped mine in return. The moment I gasped, his tongue invaded. He kissed me hungrily, devouring any hesitation and feeding my need for him.
His hand gripped my hips, seating me firmly on his erection. A whimper escaped me at the hard press of him through my clothes. He ground me down against his length in a slow rotation that robbed me of thought and air.
Tearing my mouth from his, I panted, pressing his face to my neck. He nipped and licked my skin, grinding against me for only a moment before nudging my head up and claiming my mouth again. My fingers twitched on the sides of his face, and I rocked against him.
This time he pulled back.
“Tell me your heart no longer hurts.”
“It no longer hurts.”
He growled low, his hand gripping the back of my neck as he gave me a hard kiss.
“Tell me I can touch you.”
“You already are,” I panted.
“Tell me,” he repeated.
I knew what this would mean, and a knot formed in my stomach. I could feel what he wanted to do to me.
“We’re moving too fast. Can we slow—”
He kissed me hard on the lips.
“Do you trust me?” he asked.
“I do.”
“Then let me touch you.”
Staring into his eyes, I saw a thread of doubt and hesitation there. He didn’t believe I fully trusted him. And why should he? I’d been sending so many mixed signals. Snuggling him at night but asking him not to touch me too much. Acknowledging his interest and my own but saying I needed more time.
Hadn’t I only seconds ago decided that time wasn’t the answer? That trying was? I needed to stop hesitating. Tor wasn’t Adam. He wouldn’t walk away.
I smoothed my fingers lightly over Tor’s cheeks.
“You can touch me.”
The sound he made was pure triumph. He claimed my lips again, one hand on the back of my neck and one hand on my butt as he stood with me. He didn’t give me a chance to ask what he intended. He moved. I felt him climb the stairs, and my heart started to hammer as I hungrily kissed him in return.
The mattress touched my back before I even realized we’d reached the bedroom. It jolted me, and I started to panic.
“Wait,” I panted, tearing my lips from his. “I’m not ready.”
“Shh. Show me your trust, June,” he said, kissing and nipping his way down my neck. “Tonight, I only want to see you. That is all.”
His words reassured me enough that I didn’t fight him when he reached for the bottom of my shirt and gently tugged it up over my head. He tossed it aside as his gaze swept over my bra. I thought he’d reach for that next. Instead, he dipped his head, kissing and licking his way along my collarbone.
That he meant to take his time became abundantly clear when he moved to my shoulder. I relaxed and threaded my fingers through his hair. The heat that had started with the kiss on the couch continued to build with each press of his lips. I squirmed underneath him, and he whispered soothing non-human words against my skin.
A whimper escaped me when he moved to the other shoulder. How had I gone from worrying he wanted too much to needing him to take off my bra?
Releasing his hair, I reached underneath me and unclasped the hooks. Tor didn’t hesitate to slide the straps down my arms and toss the bra away, like he had the shirt. His keen gaze swept over my breasts with a reverence that melted my heart further.
The flat of his tongue stroked over my nipple before he sucked it into his mouth. Another small sound escaped me as he flicked and drew on the tender peak. I didn’t realize I’d threaded my fingers in his hair again until I tried tugging him over to the other side.
“Patience, my June,” he whispered. “I will taste all of you. I promise.”
My core clenched as images of the last time he’d tasted me rose to mind.
“Take my pants off then,” I panted.
He ignored me and continued to suck and lick one breast before finally leaving it for the other. I gasped and panted when he gave the second one the same treatment. My skin tingled when he moved lower, kissing the undersides of my breasts then my sternum.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked before he reached my navel.
“No. Not yet.”
He growled low and swirled his tongue over my skin while finally touching the waist of my jeans. He eased them down over my legs, his lips never leaving me. I burned with need. I wanted his mouth between my legs more than I wanted air.
“Please, Tor,” I begged when he skipped past the underwear and started exploring my legs.
There wasn’t an inch of them he didn’t caress or lick, and I was a puddle of desperate longing by the time he finally touched my underwear.
“I love the sounds you make,” he murmured, pressing his lips to my clit through the material.
“I’ll make more if you get on with it already,�
�� I panted.
He chuckled, a low sound that teased me with its vibrations. Thankfully, he didn’t toy with me more. As soon as the underwear were off, he was on me. His tongue slicked over my opening and circled my clit. My fingers tightened in his hair, and I bucked against him, too far gone to care.
On the third pass, he paused to press the flat of his tongue against me. The heavy pressure sent me over the edge. With a cry, I ground against his tongue and rode out the orgasm.
Spent and boneless, I twitched under his hold as he nudged my legs farther apart and lapped at my opening. I drifted in languid bliss, my channel pulsing around him as he used his tongue to stroke me from the inside.
“That was incredible, Tor.”
He made a low sound in response before pulling back with a final lick.
“I want to do that again.” He slid a finger in me, setting off another wave of aftershocks. His thumb circled my clit, showing he was entirely serious.
“Again? I think I might need a minute or two. My heart is still racing.” He slowly moved his finger in and out of me several times before adding a second one. The stretch of two gave me pause, and my thoughts went to the glimpse I’d gotten of him.
“I’m—"
“Hello?” a voice called from below. “It’s Emily.”
Eyes wide, I jolted, partially sitting up in bed, and I stared down at Tor, who was still between my legs, fingers slowly thrusting.
He exhaled heavily and removed them.
“Just a minute,” I called before swearing under my breath. “Where’s my shirt?”
He pressed a kiss to my inner thigh, sending an echoing jolt of pleasure through me.
“I will go talk to Emily while you dress,” he said.
He stood, his massive erection straining against his pants.
“You can’t go down there like that,” I said, trying to pull myself together enough to slither from the bed.
He palmed himself, adjusting his length. It didn’t do any good. Whether his bulbous head was trying to bust free of the waistband or touch his kneecap didn’t matter. He was too big to hide.
“You stay here,” I whispered. I stood on shaky legs and tugged my shirt over my head without bothering with a bra. The jeans went on next, without underwear.
Tor didn’t try to stop me as I hurried downstairs.
Chapter Nineteen
Emily looked up at me, and a slow smile spread across her face as I descended the steps.
“Did I interrupt something?” she asked, taking in my bed hair.
“No. You’re fine. What’s up?”
“I wanted to talk about today and the plans for tomorrow,” she said. “But I can come back later if you think that’ll help.”
I shook my head and gestured to the couch, hoping she would stay. After the combustible experience I’d just undergone with Tor, I needed this break to calm my chaotic thoughts.
“Now’s fine.”
She removed her jacket and sat with a weary sigh.
“Everything worked exactly like you’d thought it would, only on a faster scale. People noticed us as soon as we arrived, and word spread. Matt fielded questions while I helped the fey figure out everything. A line formed before the fey even finished setting up. I could tell right away that we needed to make more soup than we’d thought, which was fine. We’d brought extra to make a show of taking the overages back. However, there wasn’t any left. The fey made and served every single drop. We let people come back for seconds.
“The fey got to talk to people. Normal conversation. They were thanked and smiled at. And that’s exactly what we needed because, as soon as word spread about the awesomeness of the fey, the haters descended. Caleb and Connor were outside to take down names of those who wouldn’t come inside. And Taylor was sitting at a table, pretending to eat and listening in on conversations.
“There are twenty names on this list, June. The twelve in red either showed signs of physical violence or verbally threatened people or fey in a way that our helpers thought was more than an idle distrust of the fey. The yellow names made negative comments or refused fey-served food. Taylor, Caleb, and Connor also made a note of every person they saw eating.
“In all of Tenacity, the only people who didn’t show up were the ones on the supply run or those unable to get there by themselves. The fey and I went to check on the ones who didn’t make it and offered to hand-deliver tomorrow. Each person accepted with gratitude.”
“So the list is complete, then, after one day?”
“I think so. I’m still planning on serving tomorrow, but considering today’s volatility, I’m not sure we should try for a third day.”
“What did Mya and Matt have to say?”
“They’re both worried.”
“Do they want to keep going, though?”
“Both said it was up to you since you’re the one moving back. Matt’s worried one fey won’t be enough protection now, but he’s not sure two fey would go unnoticed. He’s very aware that we’ve taken an already powder-keg situation and turned it nuclear.”
I stared at nothing for a moment, considering carefully what I’d likely face, and shook my head.
“It will never get better until we make a stand. I don’t see any other way. Let Mya know that I’m packing my bag tonight. I’ll publicly approach Matt tomorrow about living in Tenacity.”
“He thought you might still want to go forward with the plan. He asked me to warn you to tread carefully.”
A sardonic smile tilted my lips.
“Treading carefully is the last thing we need me to do. I’m moving back to incite hate. Maybe I’ll be lucky and they strike the first day I’m back.”
“I’m not sure if that’d be luck,” she said, standing.
“Thanks for letting me know how it went. I’m glad it wasn’t all bad for the fey.”
“They loved the positive attention. And, for the most part, Matt kept the haters outside. Let me know if you have any other ideas like this,” she said. “Well, not like this exactly. But stuff to bring both communities together.”
After she left, my thoughts turned from the conflict between the two communities to the man who was remaking my world one day at a time. I glanced at the stairs, but Tor didn’t appear. My pulse fluttered at the idea that he was waiting for my return.
So many emotions raced through me. Worry that I was jumping in too quickly. Fear that something would happen to Tor because I was determined to move back to Tenacity. Excitement simply at the thought of Tor.
Slowly, I climbed the steps and tried to rein everything in. I hated the thought of putting Tor in danger, but I wasn’t foolish enough to think I could move back without protection. I also wasn’t foolish enough to think that Tor would ever agree to stay here.
When I reached the bedroom, I found Tor where I’d left him. He sat on the bed, looking down at his hands.
Knowing what we both would need to do tomorrow, I approached him, standing between his legs so he would look up at me, and gently caressed his cheek.
“What are you thinking?” I asked.
“I’m worried for you.”
That was all he said. He didn’t try to talk me out of it or tell me that it would be too dangerous. In that moment, I saw just how different from Adam he was. Tor loved me with a single-minded devotion that would never confine me. No, Tor’s love would set me free.
Smiling tenderly, I fully embraced what I felt for the gentle, yet incredibly fierce man.
“And I’m worried for you.”
He grunted and leaned in to press a kiss to my covered stomach. He didn’t try to start anything up again. Instead, he insisted on going downstairs so he could feed me.
We talked of nothing and everything as we made dinner together then headed out with another three roasts for Emily to level-up her cooking game for the next day. It didn’t make much of a dent in the freezer but did give me an idea.
After packing up my things along with a healthy supply of cann
ed foods, Tor and I went to bed. He didn’t wait for me to fall asleep but pulled me on top of him right away. I sighed and snuggled in.
“I’m glad you’re going to be there,” I said softly. “I’d miss this too much.”
“I would miss you, too,” he said, smoothing a hand over my back.
I slept like that all night, partially waking only once when he started to snore beneath me. It wasn’t loud. Just the deep, even breaths of a contented man with a woman lying on top of his chest. Smiling, I’d drifted back to sleep.
The next time I woke, a tongue was circling my clit.
“Are you awake, my June?” he asked before pressing his tongue against me.
“Very awake,” I murmured, my hands already finding his hair.
“Good.” He eased a finger inside of me, stroking deep as his tongue worked its magic. A second digit joined the first, building the pressure. He knew just where and how to touch me, and in seconds, I came apart. He didn’t stop, though. He continued, curling his fingers and rekindling the fire until I was bucking against his mouth. The second orgasm ripped through me, and I clenched hard around his fingers.
Instead of pulling out, he eased a third one in. It stretched me, but not painfully. Only uncomfortably. He idly stroked me and trailed kisses along my thighs as my pulse gradually slowed.
“I saw the way you looked at me,” Tor said softly.
Confused, I lifted my head to peer at him. His head rested on my thigh, and he watched his fingers as he slid in and out of me.
“You were afraid of my size.” He lifted his gaze to mine. “That’s why you didn’t want me to touch you. That’s why you weren’t ready. Your heart is ready, but your mind wasn’t because your body isn’t.”
“Humans underestimate the fey. You might not understand certain phrases or slang, but you understand us very well.”
He flashed his teeth at me.
“We are learning. Females are so different, though.” He eased his fingers out of me. “Will you shower with me?”
I glanced at the window and saw it was still dark out.
“Do we have time?”
