She sucks in a breath and blushes even redder at my crude words. Her arms snake around my waist, and she crushes her body against mine. I’m not sure what’s brought this on, with me acting like a filthy caveman and all, but anytime her body is close is good to me. I take the opportunity to run my hands up and down her slick curves.
Wait a second—did I just offer to neuter myself so I could fuck her without anything between us on a regular basis?
And not long before that, I’d been thinking I wouldn’t mind a little mini-me or mini-Hope running around. This is what she does to me. Twists me and turns me until I don’t know which way’s up.
I love it.
A knock at the bathroom door startles us apart.
"Hope? Are you okay?" Sophie calls.
Hope pulls farther away from me. "Yeah."
"I assume that’s Rock in there with you?" Sophie says with a laugh.
My girl shakes her head. I can tell she’s mortified, and I remind myself not to have her up at the clubhouse during any of our wilder parties. She’ll probably keel over.
Since Hope still hasn’t answered, I answer for her. "It’s me, Soph. We’re good."
Sophie’s laughter rings loud and clear. "Okay."
I twist the shower off and help Hope out. She’s busy covering her face with her hands, shaking her head back and forth, so I grab a towel to start patting her dry.
When I look up and she’s still blushing like crazy, I can’t help but tease her. "Don’t tell me you girls don’t tell each other everything."
"Telling is different than witnessing it."
"Doll, she didn’t witness anything."
She huffs out an annoyed breath. "You’re exasperating."
I stuff down my laughter. "Funny, I thought the exact same thing the day we met."
"You did not!"
"I sure did. You kept trying to get away from me. Didn’t even want to have lunch with me."
She stops, her smile faltering. Fuck, I’m an idiot.
Neither of us speaks for a few beats, but finally she turns and bends over to rifle through her backpack, giving me one spectacular view. Fuck if I don’t want to blow my wad all over her again.
"Sweetheart, if you keep bending over in front of me like that, we’re really going to give Sophie an earful."
She snaps up straight, clutching a pile of clothes to her chest. "Animal," she says with a giggle.
My hand connects with her ass and stops to knead her perfect flesh. "Fuck yeah, I am," I growl.
She scurries into her clothes, and inside I wave goodbye to her beautiful boobs. What a crime to cover them up. I decide then and there, if I ever get her to move in with me, I’m going to demand she walk around the house naked at all times.
Wait a second. If? If nothing. Fuck, I should ask her to move in with me right this second.
"Hope—"
"Breakfast is getting cold, horndogs!" Sophie shouts.
I’m still standing there buck-ass naked like a moron, lost in thoughts of waking up with Hope in my arms every morning.
Suddenly Hope is completely dressed. She brushes a quick kiss on my cheek.
"See you out there."
And breezes out the door.
What the hell just happened?
Scurrying out of Sophie’s bathroom, I think of how I’m going to explain my behavior. I’m beyond mortified because I have no idea how much of our shower escapades she heard. Did she hear him groaning as he came all over my back? Hear him smack my ass? My cheeks burn with awful possibilities as I try to remember how much noise we made during our encounter.
Sophie’s facing the doorway with a Cheshire cat grin on her face. "Morning, buttercup. I leave for twenty minutes, and you manage a booty call. I’m impressed."
"Sophie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t—"
She holds up a hand with a spatula in it, cutting me off. "Please. It’s not the first or last time that shower has been so violated."
"Should I come back later, so you girls can trade shower sex stories?" Rock asks as he comes up behind me.
I close my eyes, praying for the ground to swallow me whole.
Sophie giggles. "Hey, Rock. Work up an appetite?" she asks with a sly grin.
Wench.
"Yeah, if it’s no trouble." He peers around her at the stove and seems satisfied when he notices she’s already got a bunch of stuff in various stages of preparation.
"I’m going out of town tomorrow for business, so I wanted to use some of this up so it doesn’t go bad." She gestures to the neat piles of cut vegetables and the stack of bread waiting for its egg bath. "So you’re really doing me a favor."
The kitchen door bangs open, and Rock reacts like we’re under siege. I place my hand on his arm and greet Sophie’s brother. "Hey, Big Ben."
"Hey, Hope."
He grabs Sophie in a bear hug and looks at the stove with longing. "You just get home?" Sophie asks
"Yeah."
"Rock, this is Sophie’s brother, Ben. He lives next door." They shake hands warily, taking each other’s measure.
"That your bike outside?"
"Yup."
"You with Hope?"
"Yes."
He nods. "Good. I was afraid Sophie and Jonny had another bust up."
Sophie turns and glares at him. "Shut up, Ben."
Concerned, I tune the guys out and move next to my friend. "What’s going on, Sophie?"
Slapping the spatula down, she sighs. "Nothing."
Sophie’s not going to talk about this in front of the guys, so I let it go.
While we’re waiting for breakfast, Ben and Rock wander outside to look at the bike. I’m pretty sure Ben plans to threaten Rock into treating me well. I’m not sure how that’s going to go over, so I’m a little anxious when they’re outside so long. Finally, Sophie runs out and yells at them to get their asses inside if they want to eat.
Ben lets out a loud yawn as walks into the kitchen.
"Go to bed, you big jerk," Sophie scolds.
"Nah, I got a few things I want to take care of outside."
Sophie rolls her eyes. Her brother has a hard time sitting still. That includes sleeping.
As we’re clearing the dishes, someone bangs on the front door. Sophie’s happy squeals can be heard across the house, so I pop my head around the corner and find her plastered against Jonny. She’s got her legs and arms wrapped around him, and he’s cupping her ass. Between kisses, he’s telling her how much he missed her and not to ever hang up on him again.
I clear my throat, because I know any minute Ben’s going to step out, find his sister acting like a horny spider monkey, and lose his shit. Jonny breaks the kiss and looks up at me.
"Hi, Hope."
"Hi, Jonny."
He sets Sophie down but keeps his arm around her. "Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just missed my girl."
Since he’s constantly on tour, we’ve only met a handful of times. But, I know he’s crazy about Sophie, and I also know she drives him up the wall with her insane commitment issues.
"Come on, we’re just finishing breakfast. Hope’s boyfriend is here. Ben’s here too," she adds with a warning glare.
Jonny’s fists flex at her brother’s name, and I wonder what the story is. Shit, I’ve missed a lot lately.
"Hey, Rock, right? Good to see you again," Jonny says as soon as he rounds the corner. He nods at Ben and helps himself to a plate before sitting down. Wait, when did these two meet?
Sophie and Rock share an awkward look.
There’s a story there, and I wonder which one I’m going to have pry it out of.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Since the last spa afternoon did a lot to lift my spirits, I decide to go again a few weeks later. Because I do everything last minute, they can’t fit me in right away this trip and I end up killing time in the waiting area. The chairs are comfy. There’s ample reading material and healthy beverages available, so I don’t mind the wait.
Recogn
izing the sweet, floral scent tickling my nose, I glance up. There’s something oddly familiar about the woman across from me, but I can’t place her right away.
She flicks her eyes my way and catches me staring. Lucky for me, she’s used to being stared at and flashes me a cool smile.
"You look familiar," she says in a questioning tone.
"You too."
She sticks out her hand. "Inga March."
I’ve heard that name before. It’s not exactly common.
"You’re Rock and Bricks’s attorney, right?"
All at once, the memory returns.
The stripper who sucked my boyfriend off in the supply closet. Fan-fucking-tastic.
"Uh, yeah, I was."
"I haven’t seen much of Rock in the last year or so."
Good, you’ve seen enough of him.
But her admission piques my curiosity. I can’t deny I’d love to know if they’d had many recent closet encounters. "No?" I ask, striving for a normal tone and probably failing.
"Nah. He’s never at the club anymore when I’m there."
My eyebrow quirks, so she continues.
"Oh, I’m just a feature dancer. I come in every couple of weeks or so. But we always, and I mean always, used to fuck when I’m in town."
Vomit threatens to rise at the mental image she’s just painted for me, but she seems oblivious.
"The regular girls say he’s never there anymore. They think he’s been seeing someone seriously for the last year and that she doesn’t like him being around all those naked chicks." Inga giggles and rolls her eyes.
A boulder settles in my stomach. My pulse thunders in my ears at her words. Rock’s seeing someone else. I’m stunned and so heartbroken. I warned him I couldn’t do this if he wasn’t going to be serious, but he’s apparently already serious with someone else.
All those nights he’s out on "club business" he can’t talk about suddenly take on a new meaning. I’ve been so stupid. Christ, I’m an adult, but so clueless about men it’s pathetic.
Striving for a nonchalant tone, I ask, "Why not call him? You guys seemed pretty tight."
She arches one perfectly sculpted, skinny little eyebrow at me. "Honey, please. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s hot as hell, and a great fuck, but Rock’s not the type of guy who will ever settle down with just one woman."
Damn, she’s blunt. "Oh."
"From what I hear, he used to fuck half the girls at the club on the regular. Guy like him ain’t ever gonna give up all that young, hot, free pussy. Then, I’ve got my porn gigs so…yeah, that wouldn’t have really worked out for us."
"I see what you mean."
She nods at me as if she’s taught me some great lesson today.
Maybe she has.
"Excuse me," I mumble.
I tell the girl behind the desk that I’ve changed my mind. She urges me to make an appointment for next week, but I can’t stand breathing the same air as Inga for another second. As soon as I get behind the wheel, I whip my phone out and send Rock a text. If I call him, I’ll start crying the minute I hear his voice.
Need to talk to you, in person.
Almost immediately, he shoots back.
Drop by house, I’m in the garage.
I take a lot of liberties with the speed limit. It’s a miracle I don’t get pulled over as I fly through Empire. My hands are shaking, and I scream with frustration at every damn red light.
I can’t do this. I can’t be someone’s piece on the side. I’m just not cut out for it. The feelings I have for Rock already overwhelm me. If he tells me I’m one of many, I need to prepare myself to cut him loose now before we get any more entangled.
As promised, I find him in his garage. Both of the big doors in the front are open, and music drifts out into the driveway. The same side door I caught Wrath watching us from is also wide open. That’s not happening today. Maybe never again.
"Hey."
As he stands to greet me, I can’t help admiring his strength and grace. He moves like a big sexy panther or something. He sets down the tool in his hand and wipes his hands on a cloth.
"Hey, doll."
Hearing his voice makes me melt, but before I let him get to me, I need to have this out with him. He seems to sense my unease, especially when he crooks a finger at me to come closer and I shake my head no.
"I ran into Inga today."
His eyebrows shoot up a bit, but other than that, his face shows no emotion. It’s clear he’s waiting for me to continue. "She says you haven’t been around the club much anymore."
"That’s true," he answers slowly.
"For the last year."
He sighs, and his eyes flick down for a brief second. Guilt. Oh my God. I pushed for this, but now suddenly I don’t want to hear what he’s going to say. I think I’d rather be his piece on the side than never be with him at all and hate myself for being so weak.
This is it. The moment I have been dreading. Hope in front of me demanding answers I’m not ready to give her.
She takes a deep, shaky breath. "Are you seeing someone else?"
Not quite the question I expected. Before I can answer, she’s off. "Inga says all the girls at Crystal Ball think you stopped managing the club because you’ve been seeing someone for the last year."
"There’s no one but you, Hope," I answer honestly.
Some of the fight eases out of her, but I can tell she doesn’t quite believe me.
"I will always be honest with you. I may not tell you the whole truth, because I don’t want to put you in danger, but what I do share with you will be true."
She shakes her head, and I know my words didn’t register for her. She’s too worried about whatever shit Inga spewed at her today.
"Okay. She told me about all the other dancers you’ve been with too."
Fucking Inga and her gossipy mouth.
Truth. I promised to give Hope truth.
"Yes, I’ve been with dancers from the club, and I’ve been with girls from the MC. I won’t lie to you. I’ve never treated any of them badly, and I won’t start now just to prove how I feel about you. But as much as you might dislike me saying this, they were pieces of ass."
Her eyes flash with annoyance, but I know it’s because she doesn’t agree with me referring to any woman that way, even if it’s some random I fucked in the past. Heaven help me, but I love her even more for it.
"You are not a piece of ass to me. The minute I knew there was a possibility I’d be able to claim you, I ended every one of those relationships. I took a step back from CB because when I came to you, I didn’t want you worrying about that shit." Well, that, and I didn’t need the temptation, but I keep that part to myself.
She looks skeptical, so I decide to be blunt. "Baby, I haven’t stuck my dick in anyone since the second I decided you were going to be mine."
Her eyes widen, pink staining her cheeks. But from shock, not disbelief. Good, we’re getting somewhere.
"When exactly did you decide that?" There’s no anger behind her words, but I answer with caution anyway.
"When I dropped you off after taking you to the clubhouse for the first time." I avoid the word funeral because I don’t want to cast negative shit all over what I’m trying to get her to understand.
A smile tugs at the corner of her lips, and she shakes her head. "You expect me to believe you went at least a year without sex? When you had a stable of beautiful girls willing to drop their panties for you?"
A soft chuckle at her characterization escapes me, but from the look on her face, she’s far from amused.
"Yes, sweetheart, that’s exactly what happened."
"So you had your choice of available pussy, but you were saving yourself on the off chance that I might want to have a relationship with you one day?"
I bust out laughing hearing her say "pussy," then I tone it down as my brain processes the rest of her words.
"Saving myself sounds a bit extreme."
"What you’re te
lling me sounds pretty extreme."
I shrug. "It was a year. People have had longer dry spells."
Her eyes narrow, and I realize what I’ve revealed to her. I'm such a fucking idiot. One of the things I love about her is how shrewd she is. I just don’t enjoy it as much when she uses it on me.
Maybe she’ll let it slide.
She speaks very slowly and deliberately so I don’t miss a single word. "How did you know it would only be a year?"
Nope. Damn, I can’t catch a break with her.
Her eyes are killing me, so I focus on my boots.
"I’m terrible with words, Hope, but I want you to understand. I walked away from you once. Didn't think I'd ever see you again. I’ve been such a bastard for most of my life, it figured my punishment would be when I finally met the right woman, she’d be married. I hated being around you, knowing you belonged to someone else. And if I thought he wasn’t taking care of you the way I thought you should be taken care of, I didn’t think I’d be able to stop myself from doing something about it. You didn't need stress or drama like that in your life."
I risk a glance up and find her eyes closed. She’s twisting her fingers and biting her lip. I can’t help but feel like I’m about to throw myself off a cliff. But I started this, and I need to finish. She needs to know.
"When that…changed…yes, I swore I’d make you mine once you’d had some time to deal with everything." Her eyes open, and she stares at me as if I’m crazy. "I couldn’t continue living without you if I didn’t have to."
Her narrowed eyes stay focused on me. "What if I had started seeing someone else? What were you going to do then?"
Now is not the time to throw Sophie under the bus. "I would have fought for you. If Clay hadn’t died, I would have stayed away for good no matter how much I hated it."
"Rock—"
I cut her off. "You deserve to be happy. You deserve the nice, quiet, suburban life you had, with a man who loves you and treats you like the treasure you are. I don’t ever want the bad, dangerous stuff in my life to touch you. You deserve normal, peaceful, and no trouble."
"You’re trouble," she whispers.
"Yes. You know it deep down, doll. You deserve someone good, honest, and clean. I am none of that. I can't give you those things."
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