‘All right. Last one, Anya. Blue or black?’ She held the two dresses up.
‘Red!’
Anya loved that dress. So did Raina. And so had Alistair...
‘You’re sure?’
‘Yes, Mummy. It’s beautiful.’ Anya rolled off the bed, taking a pile of blouses with her, and walked over to the wardrobe, tugging at the skirt of the red dress.
Raina took the dress from the wardrobe. She had to wear something, and she always felt comfortable in this dress. She bent down and kissed her daughter.
‘I’ll wear it for you, then.’ Not Alistair. ‘It’ll remind me how much I’m going to miss you when I’m away.’
‘It’s only two days. And we’re going to the zoo. Grandad promised.’
From the number of things that her father had promised Anya they’d do, it was clear that her daughter would prefer it to be three days. Even though her father had barely been able to look at Anya after the accident, he doted on the little girl now.
‘He did. And you know that Grandad never breaks a promise if he can help it.’
‘He would turn into a donkey if he did.’ Anya cackled with laughter, clearly quite liking the idea.
‘Or a wiggly worm.’ Raina wiggled her finger and Anya nodded sagely. ‘Are you going to help me clear all this up?’
‘Yes. Make it all tidy.’ Anya liked tidying up even more than she liked making a mess. Her mother had told her that she was like Andrew in that, and that when he and Raina had been little, it had always been Raina who’d scattered her toys around and Andrew who’d put them neatly back in place. Anya’s idea of order wasn’t always entirely practical, but that was okay.
‘Shall we see if we can make a rainbow?’ Anya’s dresses were arranged in rainbow order in her wardrobe, and Raina’s mother had even made her a little orange dress to fill the gap.
‘Yes...’
‘All right, then. What comes first?’ Raina picked up the suit, wondering where grey might fit in. Somewhere in the corner, probably where it couldn’t be seen.
‘Red!’ Anya picked up a red blouse from the pile on the floor, brandishing it. Raina laughed, and suddenly the conference seemed less menacing.
* * *
DeMarco Pharmaceuticals’ conference centre was based in Sussex. The address suggested an ancient building, set in sleepy countryside, but nothing could be further from the truth. Gabriel’s father had offered his company’s state-of-the-art centre for The Watchlight Trust’s conference.
The building was mostly hidden from the road by trees, which fell away to reveal a structure that shimmered in the sunshine. Curved glass and steel seemed to rise organically from a large lake to one side. This would be tomorrow’s treasured landmark, a tribute to the twenty-first century.
The glass-sided reception area was triple height and flooded with light, the sound from a glass waterfall wall plashing quietly in the background. After the heat of the road it was cool and soothing, but Raina felt her cheeks redden when she saw Alistair.
He was dressed in a dark blue open-necked shirt and trousers. Just the right combination of crisp and casual. And mouthwateringly sexy. Maybe that part was just because Raina knew exactly what was beneath the shirt. How many times had she traced the ridges of his chest with her fingers?
‘You made it, then?’ He left Heidi talking to the receptionist, and approached Raina. ‘What do you think?’
‘It’s...stunning. Not exactly the kind of place you’d expect a charity to be using.’
Alistair chuckled. ‘Yes. We made it clear on the invitation that the place is lent to us free of charge by DeMarco Pharmaceuticals. I wouldn’t want anyone to think we have this kind of money to throw around. Let me give you the guided tour...’
‘Aren’t you busy?’ He could just show her to her room and let her explore for herself if he wanted. The kind of breath-catching awe that this place promised might be best to experience without the additional excitement of Alistair at her side.
‘No, Heidi’s making sure that everything goes smoothly, as usual. Gabriel’s on his way down with the Dream Team and I’m at a loose end until the delegates start to arrive in a couple of hours.’
Alistair bent to pick up her case, the twitch at the corner of his mouth indicating that he’d noticed its size and weight. ‘Maybe we’ll drop this off first.’
‘Yes. I...um...wasn’t sure what to wear so I ended up packing for every eventuality.’ Every eventuality apart from this. She hadn’t brought a blindfold, which was about the only thing that could stop her from noticing him. Or a peg for her nose, so that his clean scent couldn’t pleasure her senses.
‘Evidently.’ He strolled over to the reception desk and Heidi handed him a key. It seemed that Alistair was intent on playing porter, and she followed him through to the back of the reception area and into a glass-sided corridor.
She could now see that the building was crescent shaped, curved around a seating area with gardens and flowing water. The slate paving stones were broken up by twisting lines of thick glass, and when Raina looked carefully she could see running water beneath. The overall effect was one of peace and calm, as the man-made structure embraced the natural world outside.
The guest rooms were on the far side of the building, at the tips of the crescent. Cool and calm, with pale wood furniture and large windows, shaded by trees for privacy. Alistair placed her suitcase next to the bed, and gave her the key.
‘I hope you’ll be comfortable.’
Physical comfort was hardly in doubt. When she sat down on the cream quilted counterpane, the large bed was just the right mixture of springy and soft. And Raina imagined that the sunlight filtering through the trees in the morning would make this a lovely room to wake up in. If she tossed and turned at night, that would be a matter of mental discomfort.
And the best way to get over that was to face the situation head on. Inure herself to Alistair and their surroundings. Wear herself out so that she couldn’t help sleeping tonight.
‘I’m sure I shall. Does your offer to show me around still stand?’ She gave him a bright smile.
‘Yes, of course.’
* * *
Alistair had always liked this place. It did exactly what it was meant to do, helping delegates relax and focus. Right now he felt anything but relaxed, and completely focussed on Raina.
Beautiful wasn’t exactly the word. It intimated a calculation that had never entered Raina’s head. She was a force of nature, drawn to colour and texture because that was what she loved, without any notion of looking good in it. But she did. Her pale linen jacket, blue trousers and patterned top would have been a nice outfit on their own. Combined with Raina’s dark hair, her long legs and the graceful way that she moved, the effect was nothing short of stunning.
‘There are enough solar panels on the roof to provide power, even in the winter.’ Alistair concentrated on his role as tour guide. ‘Food is sourced from local farmers where possible, and the woodlands over to the left are being maintained to encourage wildlife and rare species of plants.’
‘So it’s not as high-tech as it looks.’ She smiled up at him.
‘Oh, it’s high-tech all right. Wait until you get into the shower. But the technology is all about making as little impact on the environment as possible, and nurturing the things we want to save for future generations.’
‘For Anya.’ As usual, Raina managed to bring a lofty idea right back down to the personal.
‘Yep.’ As far as the new generation was concerned, Alistair was happy to keep it a lofty idea. Thinking too much about how he felt about the personal was a road he shouldn’t take with Raina.
They wandered through the large, open-plan spaces, filled with smaller-scale seating areas to encourage people to circulate and form groups. The lecture theatres, and the restaurant, the folding doors opening out onto the paved garde
n that was at the heart of the building. She commented on the underfloor streams, walking along one as if it were a tightrope, one foot in front of the other. So many people took this building the wrong way. It was supposed to be enjoyed, with the same child-like pleasure that Raina showed.
‘How does all this sound to you?’ As they walked past a sheet of water flowing over contoured stone, she turned to him suddenly.
‘Um... A bit crackly.’ Alistair didn’t put his hearing aid in until after he’d washed and shaved in the morning. With it, the water in the basin sounded as if it could be heard halfway down the street. No one else had considered that a place surrounded by water might be a little unnerving.
‘But if you look at it, it helps normalise the sound?’
‘Yes, it does. I’ve been using that technique and it helps.’ Maybe if he stared at Raina for long enough he might normalise the way he felt about her, but Alistair doubted it.
‘So...this conference. It’s a big challenge for you. Groups of people all talking at once.’
She would help him if he asked. It was one thing to have her soothe a blackened eye, though, and quite another to start relying on her to help him with his more permanent needs. ‘I can adjust my hearing aid. Hopefully that’s all under control.’
He turned away from the water and the rushing sound subsided. ‘It’s half an hour before the delegates’ check-in opens and I’m back on duty. Would you like some coffee?’ He gestured towards the drinks counter, which was already open and being stocked with supplies.
‘Yes, thank you. It would be nice to sit here for a while. You can tell me a little more about what to expect over the next few days.’ She retreated to the exact place in the garden where the activity in the restaurant and the sound of the water was easiest to ignore, and sat down.
Alistair turned towards the drinks counter, quirking the corners of his mouth down. He’d been telling himself that Raina was just another parent, and this was just another conference, but if he’d been honest with himself he should have expected just this. There was no escaping her small kindnesses, the way that she smoothed his path for him, and it was yet another reason for him to fall in love with her all over again.
CHAPTER TEN
RAINA HADN’T HAD much time to think. New people, new ideas. The conference was one of the better ones she’d been to, and there wasn’t a moment that hadn’t been filled with the urgent need to ask and answer questions.
Each of the charities that were represented were offered a place in one of the large, bright communal areas to exhibit their work, and today would be spent exchanging ideas and learning from each other. A group of parents from The Watchlight Trust’s project were attending for the day, and Raina could see them standing in a tight group, talking only to each other. She looked around for Alistair and Gabriel, but they were busy talking animatedly to the representatives of one of the other charities.
Then she caught sight of Ben, sitting alone in a corner, staring into a cup of coffee, his cheeks red. Raina walked over to him.
‘Okay, Ben?’
‘Yes. Thanks.’ The coffee cup seemed to have replaced his computer monitor as a focus for his attention. Raina sat down, and waited.
‘There are some nice ideas here.’ If Ben wasn’t going to take the hint, she could at least prod him in the right direction.
The mention of ideas always seemed to animate Ben. ‘Did you see the one from the group in Norwich?’
‘Yes, I did. I think we have a few things to learn from them. I saw you and Alistair talking to them for quite a while.’
Ben nodded. ‘That was good. They liked my idea about silicone...’
Raina decided not to enquire about the silicone. Ben was liable to tell her, and the question of what was bothering him would be lost in a flurry of details.
‘So what’s up, then?’
‘The woman over in the corner. She said that I had things all wrong.’ Ben flushed again.
Raina looked in the direction he’d indicated. She’d seen the prototype limb and had personally thought it was one of the less imaginative offerings.
‘Well, we know we don’t have everything right. That’s what makes us work to make the designs better. But you definitely don’t have things all wrong, Ben.’
‘She said that no one wants things to be too complicated because then they go wrong. And we’ve had to make a simpler one for Anya as well...’
‘That’s not because there’s anything wrong with the myolectric arm. It’s the one that both Alistair and I want her to have, we just have to work up to it a bit.’
‘She says she’s worked with a lot of different people and she knows just what they want.’
‘Well, so have you. You work with Anya.’
Ben gave a shrug. ‘Anya’s a very cool kid.’
‘Yes, I think so too. And I’m glad that’s the first thing you see about her, because that’s helping you to design a limb that’s going to suit her. That’s what this is all about, Ben, making limbs that suit individuals and you’re doing a great job with Anya.’
‘You think so?’
Ben was a genius, but sometimes he didn’t have any common sense. And his fascination with the way things worked didn’t extend to what made people tick.
‘Look, Ben. Did it occur to you that that woman might be feeling that...? Well, she’s obviously worked hard and is proud of what she’s done. But she might feel that other people have done a bit better than her and instead of trying to learn from them, she’s putting them down.’
Ben thought for a moment. ‘No. That didn’t occur to me.’
The rhetorical question had obviously been a mistake. Raina tried a more direct approach.
Leaning forward, she caught his gaze. ‘Don’t give up on me, Ben. My cool kid needs a hand, and I’m not going to settle for second best. I want you to make her one.’
‘You mean you want Alistair to.’ Ben’s flashes of honesty were often a bit too honest.
‘Alistair knows what Anya’s medical needs are, but he can’t make her a prosthetic. I’m relying on you, Ben, don’t let her down. If you do, I’m going to have to have words with you.’
Ben smiled suddenly. ‘I won’t.’
‘Good. Thank you.’ Raina nodded towards the group of parents, who’d migrated as one over to the coffee area and were sitting alone, talking. ‘We should show them around a bit, and explain what the other projects are doing.’
Ben hesitated. ‘What, and let them talk to that woman?’ He obviously considered that a return to the lion’s den.
‘Well, I dare say they’ll want to see everything. But if she starts with any of the things she said to you, then I’ve got a few answers for her.’
Ben looked at her with undisguised admiration. ‘You do?’
‘Yes, of course I do. And I know for sure that the other parents will back me up.’ Raina started to walk across to the group, and realised that Ben hadn’t moved. ‘Are you coming, then?’
He grinned suddenly. ‘Yes. I’m coming.’
* * *
One of the things about adjusting to partial deafness was that things became a little more unpredictable. Someone could stand next to him and he wouldn’t hear a word they were saying. But sometimes he could catch something from across a crowded room...
Looking at Raina’s lips had never been something that Alistair tired of doing. And when he saw her talking to Ben, and her lips formed the shape of his name, warmth had flooded his veins. It was pleasure mixed with pain and regret, because he’d never again be with her in the cool of the night as she whispered his name.
It was probably nothing, a chance comment about work, but he still couldn’t get it out of his head. He’d joined the group of parents who were looking around the exhibits, but their questions gave him no chance to speak to Raina. As he dressed for the evening cocktail part
y, slipping a white shirt over his shoulders, he could almost feel her touch.
The party had already got started, and Gabriel was circulating determinedly. It was a warm night and the glass separating the party space from the central garden had been drawn back. Alistair jumped as he felt a touch on his arm, and a voice said something.
‘It’s lovely, isn’t it.’ Raina repeated herself without his having to ask, nodding towards the lights that were beginning to reflect on the water outside.
‘Yes.’
It was all he could think of to say. Raina looked like all his best memories. Only here and now, standing in front of him. He couldn’t help but stare and she flushed a little.
‘You look...very nice.’
‘Thank you.’ She looked as awkward about the compliment as he felt. ‘Anya told me that I had to wear red and this is my only red dress...’
She remembered too. The dress was sleeveless, plain at the top and falling into pleats at her waist. Raina was wearing the little silver watch that her grandmother had given her. She looked devastatingly gorgeous and the memory of taking that dress off her made Alistair feel dizzy with need.
‘She has good taste.’ Raina didn’t need his permission to wear the dress, but she seemed to want it and she gave a little nod.
‘Gabriel’s been looking for you.’ She twisted round to survey the room and the dress foamed at her knees. Just the way it always had...
‘Ah. I’d better go and help him out.’
‘Yes. I’ll go and see if I can find Ben. He said he wasn’t much looking forward to this evening and I said we could face it together.’
That was nice of her. Ben wasn’t in his element at parties, and someone to stick with him would stop him from gravitating uncomfortably towards the nearest wall.
He couldn’t help it. As they both turned away, he had the opportunity to bend and murmur in her ear. ‘I’m glad you kept the dress. You always did look stupendous in it.’
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