by Avelyn Paige
The entire drive home from the bar, he was hot on my tail. He mimicked every lane change I made and even stood guard while I pumped gas into Betty. Maybe his suspicions about me high-tailing it out of there were warranted, but I still didn’t like his eyes following me everywhere I went. His gaze made me feel uncomfortable and oddly aroused all at the same time. It’s not that I’m that attracted to him. Well, maybe just a little bit, but that’s not going to happen. He is my husband’s pseudo-brother, and I won’t cross that fucking line even if I go so far as to admit that watching him ride behind me up the freeway was arousing and exciting. His muscles flexed and curled when he leaned into turns and watching his shirt ripple in the wind nearly set my panties on fire. I would have pulled over into the median and let him take me there in the dirt with all those cars passing if I would have seen those fucking dimples of his while he followed me. More than once I had to remind myself that while he looked damn good, he was the enemy. He was the person standing between me and my goals, and the man my body had suddenly decided it wanted a taste of.
I forced myself to focus on the way he suddenly dismissed my involvement in the apartment to help curtail the crotch fire that was smoldering down below. That son-of-a-bitch had the nerve to shove me out with his dismissive boy club mentality. Assuredly, anything that had to do with my husband is my business. I risked everything traveling to Mexico on my own to get that envelope for him, so you’d think he’d let me in on whatever he would find in it. But, that patch on his back will keep the information from me, which gives me just another reason to hate that fucking club. He was right that I do need to get back home to the kids, but I’m not going to let sleeping dogs lie. It’s time I call in someone I thought I’d never have to turn to again—a Heaven’s Rejects’ member with a checkered past and loose morals when it comes to the right amount of money.
As the last few miles tick away, my mind wanders to the level of control that Raze seems to have over his rag-tag team of misfit bikers. I honestly don’t understand why the men and women of the club just bow to his will without a second thought. Well, I guess the men I understand more because he is their leader, but that is not the case for the women. Sure, he’s got the looks that would make most women rip their panties off and beg to be taken hard. His defined, strong arms and muscled legs make me want to climb aboard and fuck him, but my attraction to him means jack shit when it comes to avenging my husband. I need that information, and I’ll get it one way or another.
Shit, if my mind keeps thinking about Raze like this, I need to get new batteries for my vibrator because he is the last man on this Earth that I would fuck—even for relief.
Pulling into the drive as the sun rises into the sky, the neighborhood is quiet. I am not surprised to find a familiar bike parked next to Dani’s car, since wherever she goes, Hero is usually not far behind. After everything that has happened to them in just a short amount of time, I don’t blame him for basically being her own personal stalker. At least she gets some good benefits out of the relationship, or so I assume. I quietly sneak into the house and find Dani and Hero snuggled up on the couch with Roxie asleep in her bassinet. I wish I could have a smidgen of the peace these two have found in each other. Maybe it’s jealously that Hero is still here to hold her, but it pains me to see someone so happy in this house. After just a year’s time, happiness seems like it will never live here again.
I try to quickly walk past the couch to check on Roxie, but Hero’s eyes fly open, his hand reaching for the gun holstered on his hip. Instinctually, I raise my hands in the air, hoping that he realizes it’s me. His hand falls from the gun and back to his face, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“Shit, Darcy. You’re too fucking quiet for your own good. I didn’t even hear the door open.”
“With a new baby in the house, you tend to figure out how to walk quietly in and out of a room,” I say while casually lowering my hands. “I’ve had to master ninja baby skills.”
Dani mumbles and shifts in her sleep as Hero pulls his arm out from under Dani’s head. He gently repositions her head against one of the cushions before rising from the couch. I peek into Roxie’s bassinet and find my little angel bundled tightly in her blankets and sleeping soundly. Hero steps up next to me and cocks his head to the side, looking down at the sweet child snoozing soundly.
“I don’t know how you do it, Darcy. Raising the boys and now Roxie all on your own.”
I turn to face him while he continues to stare down at Roxie. “It’s not hard to be a mother, or in your case, a father. You just have to try your best and remember that if you can give them a happy and better life than you had, you’ve succeeded as a parent.”
He sighs, turning toward me. “You make it sound so damn easy. I don’t think I’m ready to be a dad yet.”
I smirk at him and stifle a quiet laugh. “You can never be ready to be a father, Hero. Trust me, until you have your children in your arms, you’ll never understand the bond between parent and child. Would it make you feel any better to know that Brent was a hot mess when Colt was born?”
Hero laughs as Roxie coos in her sleep.
“No shit? He was scared?”
I laugh whole-heartedly thinking back to the early days of Colt being in our lives.
“Hero, he woke up every five minutes to make sure he was still breathing and refused to change a diaper unless I was there to supervise. There was one time I went to Albertson’s for more formula and he called me panicking because Colt had sneezed twice in five minutes. He was bound and determined that he had the swine flu and that we needed to go to the emergency room.” Hero laughs with me while my hand slides to his shoulder in my attempt to reassure him. “Fatherhood doesn’t come with a guide. You just have to trust your instincts and be the man they need. Support Dani through the bad nights and the good ones. One day, you’ll look back on the day the twins were born and desperately wish they were still that little.”
He sighs before he turns to face the sleeping Dani on the couch. His eyes are filled with love as he watches her rounded belly rise and fall with each breath she takes.
“I just hope I don’t fuck it up and put a thumbprint in my kid’s head because I forget about that soft spot they’ll have. I’ve never held something so fragile before.”
“You’ll be fine. I promise you. I’ll be here for the both of you just like you’ve been here for me with Roxie. If I can handle raising two rambunctious boys and now this precious little girl, you can handle twins. By the way, did you ever find out what the second baby’s gender is?”
Hero’s eyes flick with a mixture of tension and happiness. “Two girls.”
A laugh rumbles from my chest and I nearly double over. Hero stares at me in confusion as Dani leisurely rises up from the couch at the sound of my laughter.
“What’s so funny?” a sleepy Dani asks.
“Oh, nothing,” I reply. “Hero just told me the news about the twins. He’s fucked, isn’t he?”
Dani nods her head in agreement while chuckling. Hero starts to interject his frustrations, but the ringing on his phone interrupts him. He looks down at the screen after pulling it from his pocket and immediately steps outside onto the porch. Dani and I watch in silence as he paces back and forth on the cement outside the sliding glass door, angrily speaking into his phone. We watch while he talks and note how short the conversation is by how quickly he presses the screen to the end the call. Anger pours out of him when he roughly opens the door and nearly slams it shut, sending Roxie’s eyes flying open in fear.
“Babe, are you okay?” Dani sheepishly asks. “Did something happen?”
Hero shakes his head and walks over to his wife, kneeling before her. He takes her hands into his as her eyes lower to meet his.
“I need you to stay here with Darcy today, angel. Some shit has gone down at the club, and you’ll be safer here than home alone.” Hero quickly rises and looks to me. “Lockdown here goes for you, too. Raze wants everyone inside until he g
ives the all clear.”
How dare he issue orders for me like a dutiful old lady? I’m not a part of this club anymore, and if he thinks for one second that he is going to bark orders at me and expect obedience, he has another thing coming.
“Darcy, did you hear me?” Hero barks.
“I’m not an old lady anymore, Hero, so you can tell Raze he can shove his lockdown bullshit up his ass. Dani is more than welcome to stay here, but I won’t be kenneled like a fucking misbehaving dog. He has no jurisdiction over this family anymore.”
Hero’s eyes flare with anger at my defiance. Those men may follow Raze lock, stock, and loaded barrel, but that’s not my life anymore.
“If I have to duct tape you to that chair, I will, Darcy. Raze doesn’t issue lockdowns without a good reason, and if he thinks it might spill over into our families, he is doing this for your own good. Stay your ass in the house, and we’ll all be happier for it.”
Hero waits for me to make another comment, but I remain silent. I’ve learned in the years of being involved in this club that sometimes it’s best to remain silent. It’ll get him out of this house faster, and I will be able to move freely once he’s gone. I can play the good little widow role until I hear his pipes rumble from the drive, but after he’s gone, I have shit to do, and the fucking Heaven’s Rejects and their bullshit isn’t going to stop me.
He leans in to give Dani a quick kiss and rubs her belly just before he turns to stalk to the door. Without another word, he slips through the doorway and the loud rumble of his bike’s engine roars to life. As the sound fades while he speeds out of the distance, Roxie cries out.
I rush over to her bassinet, pick her up, and cradle her in my arms. She wails for a few minutes, but quickly quiets again as Dani hands me a prepared bottle. Swaying her little body in my arms, I watch as she drinks her bottle and the smile I know so well finally comes back to her face.
“I’m going to go check on the boys,” declares Dani as she disappears into the hallway.
Looking back down at Roxie, her smile soothes my burning soul. Patting her butt, she falls back into a restful mid-morning snooze. Leave it to my daughter to wake up to the sound of a Harley. She’ll probably grow up having gasoline and chrome fever pumping in her veins just like her dad. As I lay her back down, Roxie smiles in her slumber. I lean down and plant a gentle kiss on her forehead before taking a step back from the bassinet. I watch her tiny body relax knowing her mama’s home. This sweet little girl means the world to me, and knowing how much she would have meant to her father only drives my need for information about what Raze found in that packet and why Hero left here in a blaze of hellfire and brimstone.
“Mama’s going to find out one way or another, baby girl, even if it kills her.”
“What did you say?”
I turn quickly to find Dani back in the room with Wesson trailing quietly behind her. He runs to me, sending me falling to my knees as he wraps his arms around me and nuzzles my neck.
“I missed you, Mama. Why did you go away?” he questions.
“Mama didn’t want to have to leave, baby, but she had to go do take care of something for Daddy.”
His face moves from my neck and comes to look at me directly. His sleepy eyes look so confused at the mention of his father, but even I can tell he doesn’t know what to ask.
“Baby, I know it doesn’t make sense, but I promise it’s okay. Now, how about Aunt Dani and I make you breakfast and pick out a few movies to watch?”
He looks even more confused by the promise of a movie morning.
“But, Mama. I have to go to ‘chool today. It’s my turn at show and tell.”
Running my hand through his messy hair, I rise from the floor and grab his hand before leading him to the kitchen.
“School’s closed today, Wes,” interjects Dani. “So, you get to spend the whole day with me and your mama. Aren’t you excited?”
He nods his head vigorously and bounces in excitement when I pull a package of bacon and a carton of eggs from the refrigerator.
“Well, duh, ‘unt Dani.”
After making quick work of breakfast, I leave Dani alone with Wesson while I head to my office. I told Dani I needed to get some invoices sent out since I was gone yesterday, but that’s not the reason why I am isolating myself in my office. I slide my dead phone from my back pocket and plug it into the charger I keep by my laptop.
I quickly check a few business e-mails while it charges enough to make a quick phone call.
Once the phone fires up, I slide my finger to unlock the screen and pull up the contacts. The one I am looking for is at the top next to Brent’s number. Seeing his name still in my phone makes my heart plummet into my stomach. I haven’t been able to bring myself to delete his number because it only makes his absence more real.
I click on the name, and the phone rings twice before a gruff voice answers.
“What?” says the man on the phone with a grunt.
“Trax, it’s Darcy. It’s time you and I had that little talk about the information I asked you to get me.”
“You got the cash?” he questions.
“Yes, ten grand just like you asked. I just need a time and place so we can exchange the cash for my information.”
“We’re on lockdown, but I suspect you already know that.”
“Yeah, it’s why I am calling now. I can’t wait anymore for the answers I know I’ll never get from Raze or any of the guys.”
“Meet me in three days at the diner in Delano at noon. If shit changes with the lockdown, I’ll let you know.”
Before I can reply, the line goes dead. Trax may not be the best way for me to find out information, but he’s my only choice. He’s the only brother whose palms can be easily greased. I know that makes him a traitor to his club and the brotherhood, but that’s his problem. Not mine. If he can tell me who killed my husband, I’ll gladly watch him hang afterward. In my book, all’s fair in love and revenge.
I hate myself for the way I treated Darcy at the bar, but deep down, I know it had to be done. I could smell her need to eliminate anything that stood in her way of her quest for the truth. She may have acted as if she was going to give me that packet once she found it, but her eyes told another story. Darkness danced behind those brown eyes, and with each moment she lingered on that packet, I knew how desperate she was to find the truth even if she had to kill me to get it. I refuse to hurt a woman, but I doubt she would have given a damn if she hurt me.
I forced myself to turn off after we made it back to Upland. The need to wrap her in my arms and let her cry out her frustration wafted over me when I told her she was no longer needed. My heart has always held a soft spot for her, but that’s the only piece of me she’ll ever get. Maj and all of her bullshit ruined me for another chance at happiness, and the likelihood of that coming with Darcy is slim to none. Even if the both of us were interested, she would always see me as the man who killed her husband even if I wasn’t the one who strung him up and left him for dead.
Pulling into the clubhouse, I find that the parking lot is nearly empty, as it should be at eight in the morning. I park my bike and slide off while my muscles are screaming for a good stretch. The ride back was way too damn long with the increased wait from the lines at the border, but I forced myself to stay awake. Darcy’s stop for gas outside of San Diego was my only chance for relief on the trek back, but I never dismounted from my bike in the off chance of her trying to give me the slip or try to take the packet from me. I couldn’t let her leave my sight for a single second. The way her eyes were constantly checking to see if I was still hot on her trail told me she would do anything to shake me off her tail if given the opportunity.
Unlocking the door, I flick on the light as I enter the room and slap the packet I retrieved from my saddlebags on the desktop. I take a few steps and plop into my chair and hope a chance to relax will ease my back ache. The pain sucks, but it’s worth the fact I know that Darcy arrived home safely. She i
s so hell-bent on digging into her husband’s death that I think she forgets sometimes that her kids need her more than avenging the memory of her husband. I know all too well that revenge can cloud your best intentions and it takes someone like a child to bring you back to reality.
I stare at the packet on my desk for several minutes before grabbing it and ripping open the seal in a swift movement. I dump the contents onto the desk and find five more envelopes inside. The smallest envelope catches my eye as my name is written across the front of it. With a sigh, I run my finger under the seal and rip it open, exposing a folded piece of paper. I slowly unfold it knowing that my life is about to explode further. Jagger was the kind of guy who never sugarcoated the truth, and having a personal letter from him means that the news contained inside was of the worst kind you could deliver to a man.
Raze,
Before you even think about busting my balls, yes, I wrote you a fucking letter so shut the hell up and stop laughing. I could start with the “If you are reading this, I am gone” bullshit, but we both know that I’m dead and buried so why sugarcoat it. There are some things you need to know, Raze and, fuck me, they are not easy to write down.
It wasn’t my ticker that made me step down from being VP in the club, but your lying, cheating bitch of a wife, Raze. I’ve always had my suspicions about Maj, but it wasn’t until the last lockdown that I realized how deep her betrayals ran. She’s been playing you and the entire Goddamn club since the day you two met. She’s in bed with the cartel, Twisted Tribe, and your own fucking brothers. Maj has been bringing guys from the cartel into our ranks across the other chapters.
Stepping down gave me the extra space to follow her to get some proof about what I had witnessed, which since I’m dead as hell right now probably means they caught me on one of those long runs. There is a file that Darcy should have brought with this letter that has everything I’ve been collecting. I know you’re probably pissed that I didn’t tell you about this before I handed the reigns over to Hero, but I needed to find proof before I accused the woman that you loved of treason. I’m not the kind of man to break up a marriage without a good fucking reason.
