by Amy Richie
Showing my true age, I jumped off the step as if he’d kicked me. “Yeah, I do,” I fired back. My features were pinched with irritation.
The same voice that I hadn’t listened to earlier was screaming at me now. I still didn’t listen. I stomped all the way to my room and slammed the door. I opened the curtains just in time to see Gage disappear into the trees.
Gage still hadn’t come back to the cabin by the next morning when I left for school. By lunch, I was still scowling. “I just don’t understand it,” I complained to Lindsey and Aubrey. Carlie hadn’t been seen by anyone since before lunch yesterday.
“You mean Rueben?”
Guilt twisted my stomach slightly and I looked down at the table uncomfortably. “Just guys in general.”
“What did he do?”
“He always acts like he wants to kiss me and hold my hand,” once started, the tirade would not be stopped, “but then I ask him a simple question and he gets all defensive and won’t tell me the truth.” I shoved my tray away from me. “It’s okay to be my boyfriend as long as we don’t talk about anything serious.”
I knew that Gage wasn’t really my boyfriend, I didn’t even know if I could call him my friend, but it would be impossible to explain that to these two.
“Maybe you should just have sex with him,” Lindsey suggested.
“Get that out of the way,” Aubrey agreed with a nod of her black curls.
My mouth went slack. “Is that all you think about?”
“No.”
As the silence grew awkward, I pulled my tray back to me. “Did you guys try the chicken sandwich today?”
“Chicken is good for you.”
“Better than red meat.”
“It’s white.”
“The other white meat.”
“No, that’s pork.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Is pork pig?”
“I think so.”
“Eww.”
I shoved a piece of my sandwich into my mouth. It was mostly bread. Lindsey and Aubrey’s incessant babble about pigs and their bathing habits faded away as I chewed.
So what if Gage didn’t want me to know his name? Maybe it was something embarrassing. I remembered seeing a movie where this guy’s name was Frankincense, so they just called him Frank. I was acting like a child to try to make him tell me something he didn’t want to.
I should have just let it go. I should have just turned my head when he kissed my face. I could have just leaned into him a few inches. Fire grew hot in my belly.
“Why can’t I ever be sensible?” I scolded myself.
“Willow!” A sharp call from Aubrey brought me back to the cafeteria. I smiled sheepishly. How many times had she said my name?
“Yeah?”
“Were you listening?”
“I heard about the pigs.”
“The pigs?” Lindsey scrunched her face in disgust.
Aubrey snorted a short laugh. “We asked if we could come over today.”
“To teach you a cheer for your tryouts.”
I tried to picture Aubrey and Lindsey at our cabin, but I only saw them running and screaming. Besides, I didn’t want them to meet Gage. “Or I could come to your house,” I suggested happily.
“My mom is getting her botox today,” Aubrey informed us, “so we can go to my house.”
“Okay,” I nodded.
“We better get to class.” Aubrey raised her eyebrows and pulled her lips down at the corners.
Steven met me at the door to the Art room. “Hi, Steven,” I greeted with a smile.
Staying true to character, he put his hand in the air as a half wave - half salute. “Hi.”
I dropped my voice so no one else could hear me. “I’m going to Lindsey’s after school.”
“Aubrey’s,” he corrected.
“How do you know?”
“We heard you talking at lunch.”
I sighed loudly. “Ah.”
“I can’t believe you actually want to be a cheerleader.”
“Don’t be jealous, Steven,” I called over my shoulder as I walked into the room.
“I have always wanted to wear one of those skirts,” he mumbled. I smiled and shook my head, not bothering to turn around.
The skirts, it turned out, were going to be the least of my problems. “You have to project your voice,” Aubrey instructed.
“I was?” I let my arms fall to my sides.
Aubrey and Lindsey exchanged a look that I pretended to miss. “Like this.”
In unison, they chanted:
“Who puts the O in offense and the D in defense? Go Panthers!”
They topped the cheer off with a few hip dips that I knew I’d never be able to duplicate. Their heads bobbed along with their claps. I stared with open-mouthed appreciation.
“I can’t do that,” I said when they turned to me with expectant smiles.
“Yes, you can.”
“It doesn’t really matter what the words are.” Lindsey put her arm around my shoulders in a best friend fashion. “It’s all about the execution.” She nodded matter-of-factly.
She turned me towards the full-length mirror on her wall. The differences between us were unflattering. “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” I muttered, self consciously tugging at my shirt. I couldn’t understand why they insisted on wearing such tight clothes.
“Rueben likes you,” Aubrey reminded me huskily.
Lindsey tugged a few times on my unruly hair. “You want me to put your hair up?”
I sat bravely still throughout the torturous event of Lindsey doing my hair. She tugged ruthlessly at the curls that were never completely untangled. When I was sure that I had no hair left on my head, she announced that she was finished and turned me once more to the mirror.
The transformation was amazing. A short, neat mass of curls hung from the top of my head, bouncing playfully when I turned to see my profile. My eyes seemed bigger and my cheekbones more pronounced. I smiled at my reflection. “Nice.”
“Here.” Before I knew what was happening, Aubrey shoved a puff of powder in my face. I sneezed lightly. “Close your eyes.” With quick, sure motions, she applied mascara to my lashes. I had never been one to wear makeup, but I liked the effect. Just a touch of lip gloss and she was finished.
“What do you think?”
“It’s nice.” It seemed a lame response, but it was nice.
“It is an improvement.”
Even if I should have been offended, I wasn’t. “Thanks.”
“Now for that cheer.”
Jed was pacing in the front yard when I got home. Why was he so nervous?
“Didn’t Steven tell you I was going to Aubrey’s after school?”
“Yeah.”
“Then what’s wrong?” I walked around the car to retrieve my bag. I was still rehearsing the cheer in my head so I barely noticed Jed, or cared much about his response.
“Carlie called Rueben.”
“And this is bad?” I slammed the car door and started toward the front door. “You want to see my cheer?”
He nodded vigorously. Way too much enthusiasm, but I shrugged and dropped my bag on the steps. “Alright, here goes.”
“Who puts the O in offense, the D in defense?” I rolled my hands around each other, mimicking pompoms. “Go Panthers!”
Jed immediately erupted into applause. “Bravo!”
He was only giving me what he thought I wanted, but I blushed and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Was it okay? Did I project my voice?”
“Yes. Absolutely.” He grinned from ear to ear. “It was perfect.”
“What was perfect?” asked Colby, who had just appeared around the corner of the cabin with Tyson, Steven, and Rodney.
“Willow’s cheer,” Jed told them.
“We want to see it.” The boys all plopped down in the grass.
I got more applause after performing a second time
. I bowed daintily and giggled. “I hope it’s enough to make the squad.” I sat down in the grass with my back pressed against the wood of the cabin.
“I like your hair,” Rodney flicked my ponytail with the back of his hand.
“Very high school cheerleader.”
I smiled contentedly, enjoying their attention. Suddenly, I realized that someone was missing. “Where’s Rueben?”
Everyone turned to look at Jed. “He’s with Carlie,” Jed told me.
“What?” Why was he with Carlie? What were they doing? I thought they had broken up.
“She called him,” Jed reminded me gently.
“What did she want?” I tried to keep the ice out of my voice.
“She was upset and asked him to meet her.”
“Where?”
“At her house.”
My eyes grew wide with alarm. What if it was a trap? Carlie’s father was friends with that old man who had shot Jed. Maybe he had realized Rueben was with them and wanted to trap him.
Why had Rueben even agreed to meet her? Wasn’t he supposed to be my boyfriend? I tried to not feel guilty when I remembered my behavior with Gage.
Gage. Probably the exact reason that Rueben had run back to Carlie.
Where was Gage, anyway? I hadn’t seen him since last night. I worried my bottom lip between my teeth.
“Where’s Gage?” I blurted out.
“I think he’s inside,” Colby answered, jerking his thumb towards the door.
I rose unsteadily to my feet. “I’ll just … see what he has to say about all this,” I stammered. “You guys stay close.”
I was pretty sure we were going to be making a run to Carlie’s. Even if Rueben was mad at me, he shouldn’t have gone to her house. I ground the back of my teeth together. Oh, how I hated being a pack leader!
Chapter Twelve
Gage
A strange boy was standing just inside the living room, making me pause in my quest to find Gage. “Oh,” I exclaimed softly. How did he get in here?
He was a handsome boy with light brown hair cut short to his head. His chin jutted down in sharp angles and his cheekbones protruded just below his eyes. His full, dark lips raised up in a familiar smile.
“Hello, Willow.” The raspy voice belonged to Gage.
I cocked my head in surprise. “Gage?”
“I shaved.” He shrugged his wide shoulders as if it was no big deal.
“You’re so young!” The words came out in a rush, before I could filter them.
When he grinned, only one side of his mouth raised up. “I was changed when I was twelve,” he reminded me. “I just age slowly.”
“I was changed when I was six. I’ve aged normally.” I cleared my throat nervously.
“You’re female,” was his only explanation. “Now,” he strode toward me with a new confidence, “you came in here to tell me about Rueben?”
Who was Rueben? I thought stupidly. He smiled widely, further wreaking havoc on my senses. My numb lips curved up on their own. He cleared his throat softly. “Uh … ”
“Rueben,” he gently reminded me.
I blinked twice. “Right. Rueben is at Carlie’s.” It didn’t seem as important as it had outside.
“They are friends.”
“She is the girl crying wolf.”
He shrugged, annoyingly unconcerned. “Maybe she’s embarrassed and just wants to talk.”
My anger grew again. “Do you know how stupid that sounds?”
He chuckled. “What do you want to do, Willow?” His voice was much too soft. Was he still talking about Rueben?
“I … I don’t know.” That was safe no matter what he was talking about.
The fact was, I didn’t know much about what I wanted these days. Everything I thought I had wanted was coming true, but now I was wondering if I still wanted any of it. I rolled my eyes at my own inconsistency.
“You could call him.” Gage seemed completely unaware of my inner turmoil.
I shredded the skin on my inner cheek with my teeth as I considered his solution. “Okay,” I finally said. “Do you have a phone?”
I had never bothered with a cell phone. I didn’t have friends to call me and the only family I’d ever had could hear exceptionally well. There was never a need to remind myself of my nonexistent social life.
“No.” He frowned at our dilemma. “You could morph. He’d hear you that way.”
“He couldn’t respond.”
“You could just tell him to come home, he wouldn’t need to respond.”
I tugged at the bottom of my shirt. “I’m going to need new clothes soon,” I muttered.
“I could teach you to morph so your clothes don’t tear.” He took a few steps toward me.
My heart sped up. “Bella says it just takes time,” I said breathlessly.
“She’s not wrong, but—“ he stopped a foot from where I stood.
“But, what?”
“There’s ways.” His eyes narrowed mischievously. “You could always take your clothes off before you morph.”
My face broke into a grin. “That would solve all my problems.”
He quickly closed the distance between us and brought his hand up to my face. He traveled his thumb gently over my bottom lip, making shivers run down my spine. Was he finally going to kiss me? His eyes held such a look of wonder, further taking my breath.
Other sounds seemed to fade away until I could only hear the sound of my blood pounding in my ears. He dropped his hand suddenly and looked to the floor. Not again, my heart cried.
“Gage.” My voice was steadier than I would have expected.
“Willow, you’re just so young.” His voice was filled with ancient sadness, bringing tears to my eyes.
“I’m not that young.”
He smiled, the heartbreaking sadness still there. “I don’t know what I’m doing here,” he whispered.
He was going to leave, I realized with a rush of emotion. I clenched my jaw tight and reacted on that emotion. I grabbed his shoulder hard, forcing him to look at me. “This,” I snapped.
I pulled his head a little too roughly to mine until our lips finally touched.
At first, he didn’t respond at all and self-doubt began to creep into my belly. Maybe he didn’t want to kiss me and I was just making a fool of myself. Then, with a low moan, he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me tighter to his body. My lips parted in surprise and I felt his tongue slide into my mouth.
Light exploded behind my eyes. As if it were possible for us to be any closer, Gage pulled me tighter. I circled my hands around his head and molded myself to his body.
Right before I passed out, he broke the kiss off, allowing me to catch my raspy breath. He kissed me softly along my cheekbones and down to my jaw, murmuring strange words the whole time. Strange noises were coming from my throat also, none of them intelligible.
Much to my disappointment, he stopped things before they could go too far. He still held my hand in his, but he moved himself to a safer distance. “What’s wrong?” I couldn’t help asking.
He leaned over to whisper in my ear, “We have an audience.” The words barely meant anything as I reveled in the feel of his breath on my ear. I closed my eyes. “Willow?”
They snapped back open to see his amusement. “Yeah?”
“Should we go outside?”
Why would we want to do that? The rest of the pack was outside. I let him guide me outside though, where the pack was still waiting for me.
Rueben was with them. Seeing him standing there reminded me that I was mad at him. “Hey.” I dropped Gage’s hand so I could point at Rueben. “What were you doing at Carlie’s?”
“Nothing.” He shot an accusing glare back at Jed. “We were just talking.” His face flushed red.
Yeah, right, just talking. “You can’t have a physical relationship with a human.”
He stared at me blankly. “You mean sex?”
“Yes, I mean sex,” I hissed
. This was so embarrassing. Now I understood why they dedicated whole books to teach humans how to talk to their kids about sex.
“Yes, I can. Everything down there is basically the same.” He moved his eyes to indicate which there he was talking about. My face flamed in even more embarrassment. “I mean, it still works the same,” he hastened to assure me, “it’s just I don’t think about it as much now. I guess the wolf thing took over.”
I rolled my eyes and looked at Gage - who was just barely keeping his laughter contained. “I don’t mean you can’t, I mean you can’t as in it’s not allowed.” While my eyes widened for emphasis, Rueben’s eyes narrowed.
“Because Andros said so?” His voice was deadly cold. It surprised me to hear that name come from Rueben’s lips. For the first time I wondered what Noreen had told them.
“It has nothing to do with the vampires.” I choked slightly over the word.
“Then … are you jealous? Because I thought that you and him,” he gestured vaguely to Gage, bringing another blush to my cheeks.
“No,” I cut him off before he could add anything else.
“Then why?” Rueben demanded the explanation but the other boys were staring at me just as intensely.
“It’s because of … ” My throat closed up and my mouth turned incredibly dry. I remembered when I was nine, Bella was tucking Ivy and me into bed.
“You must never say his name,” she warned sternly. “He is an evil, pitiful excuse for a wolf. He turned on his pack, killing them all.
My eyes grew wide. “Why would he do that?”
“It doesn’t matter why!” Her breathing had turned ragged. “He turned on his own kind, he’s worse than the vampires.” I sucked in my breath and held it there. “You’re right to be afraid, Willow. If he catches you he’ll rip your heart from your chest and eat it.”
“Why?” I whispered.
“Because he hates you, Willow.”
I swallowed hard. “Will he find me?”
“Not if you are careful. Anywhere he is in the world he can hear if someone says his name.”
“He can?”
“Yes, so this is why you must never say his name.”
Ivy and I turned to look at each other, both of us terrified. “We don’t even know his name,” Ivy reminded Bella.
