by Amy Richie
“I don’t know.” My voice rose with my irritation.
“Is he bugging you, Willow?” Rueben asked.
“No.” I looked around, suddenly realizing that everyone was looking at me. “I just … I think I probably flunked my English quiz this morning. It’s just … bugging me,” I finished lamely.
“You’ve only been here a week,” Aubrey pointed out, “don’t sweat it.”
Only a week? So much had happened in only a week. “Yeah,” I bobbed my head obediently, “you’re right.”
“Don’t let them see that you’re nervous,” Carlie whispered to me later that afternoon.
I was in the gym and it was like one of my nightmares had become a reality. A dozen girls all sat around staring expectantly at me. I felt like I was going to pass out.
“I’m not nervous,” I lied.
“Good.”
“Well maybe a little.”
She laughed quietly. “You have nothing to worry about. With Aubrey and Lindsey behind you - you could probably fall flat on your face and still make the squad.”
“But I’d rather not.” I wiped my damp palms on my shorts. “Fall on my face that is.”
“Then don’t.” She bounced away to join the other spectators. Some help she was.
I shouldn’t have been surprised when coach Klinger said I had made the squad. She smiled her prom queen smile and put her hand lightly on my back.
“You were a little nervous, but I have it on good authority that you belong here.” She winked at Lindsey, who had a tight grip on my arm.
“Thanks,” I mumbled. My face was still way too hot and entirely too flushed. There were so many other things I could be doing - like skinning a cactus or squeezing lemons.
“Yay!” Lindsey squealed when the coach walked away.
“I knew you’d make it,” Aubrey gushed.
“I totally messed up.” I flung my bag over my shoulder. It was true, the tryout had been a disaster. After almost tripping over my untied lace and having to stop to tie it back up; and then flip-flopping two lines of a four line cheer - it was a miracle that I had made it. Maybe they just felt sorry for me.
“Told you that you had nothing to worry about,” Carlie said coming up to our small group.
It took me a while to recognize the awkward silence that fell. I smiled. “Guess you were right.”
“You want to go to the Lounge tonight, to celebrate?” Carlie asked before I could safely duck out of the gym.
“Oh … I don’t know.”
“Of course we have to go to the Lounge,” Lindsey whined.
“Is it even open on Monday nights?”
“Yeah.”
“I can pick you up,” Carlie volunteered.
“We can all ride together,” Aubrey seconded.
I looked at Carlie. “But I thought we were going to your house.”
“Another time,” she said and winked.
“I have no idea how that happened,” I commented absently when Rueben was driving us home.
“That you made the squad?” He grinned wide.
“Well that, too, but no.”
“What’s wrong?” Rodney demanded from the backseat.
“I’m going to the Lounge tonight with Lindsey, Aubrey, and … Carlie.”
“Carlie?”
“And you?”
“I know,” I widened my eyes for emphasis even though no one could see me, “I’m shocked, too.”
“And you’re actually going?”
“I think so.” I played nervously with a loose piece of skin by my fingernail. “Should I?”
“Yeah,” Rueben didn’t miss a beat.
“But with Carlie? That might be kind of … ”
I turned in my seat to look at Rodney. At least he was thinking. “That’s what I was thinking, too.”
“Carlie isn’t going to say anything,” Rueben scoffed.
“But she knows.”
“Not everything.”
“She knows enough Rueben.”
“She didn’t freak out.”
“But why?” My eyebrows furrowed.
“Now you sound like Gage.”
I exhaled loudly. But Gage was right. I needed to figure Carlie out. Maybe we should become friends. I almost scoffed at my own idea. Had it been a full week ago that Carlie had stood with Ivy in our kitchen warning me to stay away from Rueben?
When we pulled into the driveway, the others were already waiting outside. How had they gotten here so fast, I wondered with a frown.
“How did it go?” Gage pounced before my door was fully open.
“Did you make the squad?” Jed was tense with excitement.
“It’s just cheerleading, guys,” I reminded them.
Jed’s face fell. “You didn’t make it?”
I couldn’t hide the smile that tugged at my lips. “Of course she made it,” Gage whooped and circled me in a tight embrace - making my feet raise off the ground.
“You’re a cheerleader?”
“Pom-poms and all,” I giggled.
“So then what’s wrong?” Gage asked close to my ear.
“I’m going to the Lounge tonight.”
“On a school night?” His eyes widened in mock alarm.
“You can come if you want.”
His lips snarled up. “I think I’ll pass.”
“Carlie will be there.” I watched with satisfaction as his eyes registered surprise then worry.
“Carlie?”
“The one and only.”
“I thought you hated Carlie.”
“I … I don’t hate her.” I pushed myself away from him and reached back in the car for my book bag. “But, she did just lay a trap for us. She seems to have just forgotten what happened.”
“She didn’t forget.”
I rolled my eyes at his doomsday tone. “I’m going to shower. Carlie said she’d be here in an hour.”
I took a deep breath and ducked my head under the streaming water of the shower. It was too hot but I left it that way - hoping it would help clear my mind. I felt myself relax as the heat seeped into the muscles on my neck and shoulders.
What a mess things had turned out to be. Bella would have never allowed things to get like this. She would have known what to do; and she wouldn’t have questioned herself. What would Bella say if she could see me now?
I clenched my eyes closed tightly at the thought. She would have never let Rodney stay, and the pack would have moved on.
“Don’t get too attached to places girls,” I heard her voice from my memory. Ivy and I didn’t want to move again. We had finally been allowed to make a friend only to have her ripped away when Bella was ready to move on. I couldn’t even remember that girl’s name, I realized sadly.
“It’s a reality of our life,” Bella had told us. “You’ll get used to it.” Her voice had been soft. “At least you have each other, you’ll always have each other.”
“Guess you were wrong about that,” I whispered to no one.
I ground my fists into my eyes, stopping any unwanted tears before they fell. I turned the water off and stepped out into the steam filled bathroom.
“Willow?” I heard a muffled voice just outside the door.
“Yeah?” I croaked.
“You all right in there?”
“Yes,” I growled. “Can I have a little privacy?” Stupid wolf senses.
“You’ve been in there a while.”
“I’ll be ready in a minute!”
I heard them retreat a few steps but I knew that whoever it was would still be standing there when I came out. I ground my teeth together and prepared to yell again; but I realized it wouldn’t do any good. It was a good thing I thought to bring my clothes into the tiny bathroom with me this time.
By the time I finished dressing, put my hair in a pony, and opened the bathroom door all the guys were crowded in the small space in f
ront of the door. “What are you all doing here?” Amusement quickly replaced my annoyance.
“Are you all right?” Rodney asked.
“Yeah.” I crunched my eyes together. “Believe it or not, I have taken plenty of showers in my lifetime. And only once was I not fine.”
“But this time you are?”
“Yes, Colby. I was only ten then. Soap got in my eyes and I fell.”
Rueben smiled wide. “We heard you upset.”
“Ugh,” I snorted. “You shouldn’t have listened.”
“Even if we don’t listen, we can still hear,” Gage said gently.
“You can, too?” My eyes widened in horror.
He nodded, his face still grim. “Carlie’s here,” he announced before I heard the horn.
I took a deep breath, trying to be normal again. I needed to be normal. “What should I be feeling right now?”
“Excited.” Rueben’s eyes glowed. “You just made the squad.”
“Oh, yeah,” I laughed. I was glad that Rueben was there.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The Lounge
I slid into the front seat nervously. Carlie smiled widely, showing off all her human sized teeth. I was surprised to notice that the bottom row was crooked. Carlie seemed so perfect. I stopped myself from telling her what I was thinking out loud.
“So what’s the … uh … the Lounge like?” I asked awkwardly. I wasn’t well versed in normal teenage small talk but since Carlie didn’t turn the radio on, I felt obligated to say something.
“It’s usually crowded and loud.” Her nose crinkled up.
“Oh.” I nodded awkwardly and turned to stare out the window. I should have just stayed home.
“I’m sure it’s nothing like what you are used to.”
I looked over at her with a scowl, glad for the comfort of the darkness. She probably wouldn’t have been able to see me, even if she had been looking. “I’m really not used to anything,” I blurted out.
“What was your old school like? Did anyone there … know?”
My chin jutted forward in surprise. Did they know? I couldn’t believe we were really going to talk about this out loud. I mean, I knew I couldn’t just ignore it, but … “Of course not,” I snapped my lips together. “We moved a lot.”
“And Ivy?”
“What about Ivy?” My eyes narrowed to thin slits. Why was she bringing Ivy up? It wasn’t like they were best friends or anything. She should just leave Ivy out of this.
“Did she know about you?”
Her words made my narrowed eyes go wide with shock. I had to lean back into the seat. Carlie didn’t know about Ivy. She hadn’t drawn the assumption that Ivy was like me, that we were the same. I needed to keep it that way. “No,” I mumbled.
“Why did they leave you here?”
“I’m … ” My mind rushed ahead of my lips to remember the lie we had told everyone. It seemed stupid to lie to Carlie now, but I didn’t know what else to say. Carlie wasn’t my friend. She was just someone who accidentally saw too much. It wasn’t much of an accident I amended to myself. “I am staying with my uncle.”
“You mean that boy who took me home the other day?”
A short huff of a laugh burst from my throat when she called Gage a boy. I tried to squeeze it back in, I mean Gage did look like an ordinary boy to someone who didn’t know. A gorgeous, can’t believe he’s really here and not in the pages of a magazine kind of boy, but a boy nonetheless. “I guess so,” I mumbled.
She giggled at my discomfort. “He’s cute.”
“Yeah,” I shrugged. “He’s cute.” There was so much more to Gage than just being cute, though. There was so much to him that I didn’t even know yet. One thing I was sure of, I was going to find out.
“Are you and Rueben still going out?” She tried to sound nonchalant but I heard the tightness in her voice.
“We never really were.”
“Oh.” She smiled without looking at me. “I always knew there was something different about him.”
My scowl deepened. How much had Carlie actually seen? She knew about Gage and me of course, but how many of the others? Should I ask her? Maybe it would be a bad idea to open up conversation about that day.
We came to a stop and turned onto Main Street. Soon we would be at Aubrey’s house and I would miss out on my opportunity to ask her anything. I chewed on my bottom lip; indecision making my heart thump loudly in the too quiet car. Could Carlie hear that?
“I think you’ll like the Lounge,” she commented. Why wasn’t she nervous at all? She knew what I was. Why wasn’t her heart hammering like mine was?
“Mmm,” I mumbled incoherently. I wasn’t looking forward to hanging out with Lindsey and Aubrey all night. I wasn’t even sure how I had been talked into going.
“Now that you’re a cheerleader this will be expected of you,” she teased. I couldn’t believe how normal she was being. She was alone in a car with a girl who could change into a giant wolf and she was discussing cheerleading. It was maddening.
“I bet you’re glad to be hanging out with Aubrey and Lindsey again.” I rolled my eyes at my own inability to socialize. Why had I said that? I wished I could bite my tongue off.
“I realize why Rueben didn’t want me to talk about werewolves,” her eyebrows shot up at the forbidden word. “But I have been popular at this school for a long time. I know how things work. I wouldn’t even care about being popular but I want to be back with Rueben. He has to keep up his persona.”
“You’re really … honest.”
“I want us to be friends, and not like Lindsey and Aubrey kind of friends either.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that but I was spared from having to when we pulled into Aubrey’s driveway. The two girls appeared almost right away at the front door. Carlie flipped the radio on low before they opened the car door to file into the back seat.
“Willow!” they both squealed in unison then fell into a fit of giggles.
“Hey,” I called back with notably less enthusiasm.
“Where’s Rueben?”
“Um … ”
“He’ll probably meet us there,” Lindsey answered her own question.
“Yeah, he probably didn’t want to ride with Willow and Carlie.”
“Awkward.”
“Rueben and I are just friends,” I said quickly.
“That’s not what it looked like to us.”
All three of the girls laughed loud in the small space of the car. I couldn’t believe that even Carlie was laughing. I was absolutely positive that I would never understand these girls and that I would never fit in anywhere in high school.
The inside of the car suddenly felt much smaller. The air was sucked out as soon as Lindsey and Aubrey got in and now even the space around us was shrinking.
I took a deep breath, trying to stave off the panic I could feel coming on. “I’m not dating anyone,” I mumbled.
“Lindsey and I have decided to date twins,” Aubrey laughed.
“Twins?” My head jerked back in surprise. Surely she didn’t mean my twins.
“Colby and Tyson Thatcher.”
“I didn’t know you guys liked them,” Carlie took over my response when I couldn’t get words past my closed off throat.
“They’re on the football team,” Lindsey explained as if it were obvious. “Why not?”
“You can’t date them,” I fired suddenly.
“Why not?” Lindsey asked again.
“You aren’t their type.”
“How would you know what their type is? You’ve been at this school what … a week?”
“Besides, we’re cheerleaders. It’s only natural.”
“We’re here,” Carlie announced before I had time to say anything else. I was far from done. No way were Tyson and Colby dating these two girls. I was not allowing it.
“Oh,” Lindsey bounced in her seat with her squeal. “Look who’s here.”
Even though I could alre
ady guess, I still looked to where she pointed. Rueben, Colby, and Tyson were all standing by Rueben’s black car. They smiled widely when they saw us pull up.
“Looks like the two of you are going to have to share Rueben,” Lindsey said under her breath.
My ears flamed red hot. I turned to Carlie but she only smiled. “Ready?”
I nodded quickly and stepped out on to the pavement. The boys may have been coming over to stand beside me but they were cut off by Lindsey and Aubrey. I tried not to glare but when Tyson flinched nervously away from Lindsey I knew I had failed.
“It’s not very crowded tonight,” Carlie said close to my ear. I hadn’t realized she was even out of the car yet. Rueben had come to stand in front of me.
“It doesn’t look too crowded,” he agreed with her. I puffed my cheeks out dramatically. This was going to be a long night.
Too irritated with the way Lindsey and Aubrey were hanging on my boys, I felt no excitement to be out at the Lounge. I had often times wished that just once I would be invited to hang out with all the cool kids; here was my chance and I could only sulk.
We easily found an empty table and Carlie and I shoved onto one side. Rueben slid in front of us. Colby and Tyson, however, followed the girls to a table in the back of the small dimly lit room.
“Why aren’t they sitting with us?” I demanded a little too loudly.
“They’re sitting in make out alley.”
“What?”
“It’s those tables back there,” Carlie explained, “it’s darker back there and kids go back there to make out.”
“Is that what they’re doing?” I craned my neck to see but the shadows were deeper back there and before my eyes had time to adjust Carlie elbowed me in the side. “Ow!”
“Don’t look,” she hissed. Rueben grinned wide.
Was that a rule? Had I missed the rules sign when I walked in? I scoffed openly but kept my face straight ahead. “Whatever,” I rolled my eyes.
Rueben ordered me something that I could barely drink and then the two of them fell into an easy conversation that I had a hard time following. My thoughts kept going back to those make out booths that my boys were in, pressed close to two overly-friendly cheerleaders who together may have made up one brain. My hand tightened on the glass. I bit hard on my tongue, trying to focus again on what Carlie was saying.
