“He’s in room 103. Thanks.’
“Just stay here,” Ellen told him. “Danny is on his way.”
He nodded and Ellen walked out.
There was no other way to describe how she felt other than shock.
Robbie was gone.
She knew exactly how Joe felt, what he was going through. After leaving Hank, she returned to Robbie’s room and knocked once on the archway.
Joe didn’t reply. He sat on the bed, holding Robbie, his lips pressed tight to Robbie’s head.
“Joe.”
“Ellen go away.”
She closed her eyes. “Joe, please …”
“Leave me alone with my son.”
“Joe.”
“Go away. Shut the door.”
His words cut through her, as she feared they would. But she couldn’t leave without at least trying to speak to him. Ellen walked out, pulling the door closed. Slowly she walked down the hall and slipped into the nurse’s bathroom. Hands to the sink, she looked in the mirror, thought of Robbie and immediately broke down.
She turned on the faucet, grabbed the lab coat hanging on the door, brought it to her face and muffled her cries and sobs.
She let it all out, everything she could, at least for that moment, and then Ellen washed her face, took a deep breath, and got it together.
Before leaving the bathroom, she looked down at her phone and for the time.
It was almost three o’clock.
Robbie had died nearly three hours earlier. Where did the time go? In a near catatonic state, time slipped away from her as she stayed in that hall.
It was almost time to get the kids from school.
Facing the children, telling them what happened, was going to be difficult, Ellen didn’t want to do it alone. If she had to, she would.
First she wanted to find everyone. She knew where Joe was, everyone else fractured off.
Walking down the main hallway, she passed the lab and saw the flash of a moving lab coat.
She stopped, and thinking that was Dean, she walked in.
As soon as she saw the hair, she knew it wasn’t Dean. It was Roy.
“Ellen,” he said as he turned around. “I am very sorry about Robbie.”
Ellen sniffled and nodded. “Thank you. Do you … do you know where everyone is?”
“No, I’m sorry, I don’t. I haven’t seen anyone since … well, since.”
“Thank you.” Ellen turned.
“Ellen, can I do anything?”
“No, but thank you.” Ellen stepped into the hall and lifted her phone. She typed up a message to Jenny, telling her she was on her way to get the kids.
Not even three steps down the hall, her phone beeped.
“Dean picked them up a half hour ago. He took them home.”
Ellen didn’t get angry, she couldn’t. Dean was dealing with it on a different level. She saw the look on his face. Heard him say to Frank in the room. “How can I face your father? How can I tell him I couldn’t save his son?”
It made sense that Dean needed to see the kids, Ellen did, too.
There were so many people Ellen needed to see. Frank for one. How was he doing? How was he handling it? Where did he go?
As soon as she stepped from the clinic, she saw Danny.
“El, hey,” he said, immediately embracing her. “How are you doing?”
She shrugged. “Not well. In shock.”
“Everyone is. How’s Joe?”
“Joe? I … I uh … I don’t know.”
“Weren’t you with him?”
“No, I was in the hall. Just …. Just sitting there. I tried to speak to him. He threw me out.”
“I’m sorry.”’
“Me, too. Danny? Where is everyone? The brothers? Andrea?”
“I don’t know for sure now,” Danny said. “I saw Frank a while ago. Last I knew, Ryder was walking with Hal. Johnny was looking for Frank and Jimmy was with Andrea, but he sent me a message that he wanted to find them too.”
“They need to be together. Joe needs to be with them.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“When you go in to get Hank, can you check on Joe?” Ellen asked. “Maybe he’ll talk to you. Maybe if you try.”
“Yeah, I will.”
“Thanks.” Ellen darted a kiss to his cheek.
“Do you need me to drive you somewhere?”
“No, I want to walk home. Find Dean, the kids. I need to be there. Thanks for everything.”
“I wish I could do more,” Danny said.
“I wish I could do more as well.” Arms folded to her body, Ellen nodded as her goodbye and walked from the clinic. She moved at a brisk pace, head down. She didn’t want to speak to anyone, or see anyone. She just wanted and needed to be home.
When Ellen saw Billy, her first thought was that Dean had told him. Billy sat on the front step, his elbows to his knees, his face propped in his hands. He was in thought staring down and glanced up when she approached.
“Hey,” Ellen said softly.
“Hey.”
She took a seat next to him on the step. “How come you’re out here?”
“Waiting for you. I wanted to see you.”
“What’s going on?”
Billy shrugged. “Something. No one has said anything but something is going on.”
“Your father hasn’t talked to you?”
Billy gave an emotional huff. “He just stares. He brought us in the living room and just stared. Jenny was nervous, you look tired, Dad was crying.”
“Daddy was crying in front of you?”
Billy shook his head. “No. But he was. I can tell by his face and eyes. So that tells me something really bad happened and you guys aren’t telling us.”
“You’re right.”
“Someone died,” Billy said. “Is it Pap?”
“No.”
“Then Uncle Frank. Please don’t tell me it was Uncle Frank.”
“No, sweetie. Uncle Robbie died.”
“For real?”
Ellen nodded.
Billy puckered, then exhaled heavily. “Uncle Robbie?”
“Yeah, Uncle Robbie.”
He leaned into her and rested his head against her arm. Just then the front door opened and Alex raced out.
“Alex,” Dean called for her.
“No!” she shouted then faced Ellen. “Is it true? Is Daddy telling the truth? Did Uncle Robbie die?”
Sadly, Ellen nodded.
Alex sobbed. “Where’s Uncle Frank? Is he Okay? We need to find Uncle Frank to make sure he’s okay.” She then grabbed on to Ellen.
Ellen peered up to Dean. She had never seen him look as devastated as he did. “Dean.”
“I’m dying here, El. This is killing me.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry for all you’re going through,” Dean said.
“We’re all here for each other.”
“Will you be alright if I go?”
“Where?” Ellen asked.
“I need to find Frank.”
“Go. Please. Find him.”
He stepped from the porch and as he did, he kissed both his kids, then ran his hand down Ellen’s head. “I’ll be back.”
Dean walked by her and Ellen felt the sadness and the cries of her children. She held them on that porch, just watching Dean, sadly walk away.
CHAPTER THREE
There were a lot of places in Beginnings that Robbie would never be again, but the Social Hall was not one of them and Hal knew it the second he stepped inside.
He had received the text from Jimmy to go there, to talk, to drink, to be brothers and a sense of support, and to Hal it was a great idea. But Jimmy wasn’t there. Not yet, he supposed he was looking for Frank. Everyone was looking for Frank.
His eyes fixed upon Robbie’s guitar. Even when Robbie didn’t play, that guitar was always there, perched on the stand. He made that guitar and placed the name ‘Starters’ on.
Hal w
anted badly to pick up that guitar, play it, hoping in a sense to channel Robbie.
But as Robbie has reiterated, he was the musician of the family.
“Not so,” Hal would say. “Jimmy plays.”
“The triangle, Hal. Jimmy plays the triangle.”
Hal chuckled softly at that thought.
There was a clearing of his throat, then Elliott Ryder spoke, “I’m glad something stirred a fond memory.”
Hal turned and faced him. “It’s Robbie. Everything about him is a fond memory.”
“Everything.”
“Right now it is.” Hal smiled, closed mouth, yet his eyes were sad.
“Did you want me to wait until one of your brothers arrives before I leave?”
“No. I want you to stay.”
“I thought this was a family thing.”
“Elliott, you are my family. I need you here.” Hal reached out and placed his hand on Elliott’s shoulder. “Thank you for rushing in.”
“I … I’m shocked. I am. I knew he was fighting an infection but I had no idea he was that bad.”
“I’d like to say ‘Neither did I’ but that wouldn’t be the truth,” Hal said. “My brother was bad. Very bad. The infection, whatever it was, took its toll. I thought he was improving. And then I found out he wasn’t … amongst other things.”
“What do you mean?” Elliot asked.
Hal looked back toward the door. “Frank had returned. I received word and my father was with Dean.” Again, Hal looked at the Social Hall door. “I went to find him, tell him Frank was back. I walked in. They were discussing some sort of treatment plan for Robbie. Obviously, his improvement was temporary. I think they were talking about a bone marrow transplant.” Hal looked over his shoulder.
“Why do you keep looking at the door?” Elliott asked.
“Because I don’t want someone to walk in and hear what I am about to say.”
“Then face the door.”
Hal grumbled and turned to be facing the entrance. “Elliott, I walked in. Dean was telling my father that Frank wasn’t an option because Frank … “Hal paused. “Frank is not my father’s biological son.”
Elliott’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry. What? I thought I heard …”
“He’s not my father’s son.”
“Frank?”
“Yes.” Hal nodded. “It makes sense if you think about it. I mean, look at him. Look at me, Robbie and Jimmy. I joked, but never in a million years would have believed it.”
“Maybe it’s not true.”
“It’s true. My father confirmed it but told me that it was his call on whether or not Frank knew.”
“That’s true. If your father hasn’t said anything, then it is with good reason.”
“What good reason is there to lie?”
“What good reason is there to tell the truth?” Elliott asked.
“Because, I don’t know, it’s not a lie. It’s the truth.”
“At this point in his life, Captain, there is no reason to tell him unless it’s vital. Will it make Frank any less your brother? Would he be any less a son to your father?”
“No.” Hal took a deep breath through is nostrils, crossed his arms and looked at the stage. “Robbie would have loved it.”
“The news about Frank.”
“Oh, yes, my baby brother idolized Frank, but he loved stories and gossip and a mystery. Remember when my father faked his death. Robbie knew. We thought he was nuts. He was relentless about it. And if he was the one that walked in and heard the news, he’d want to know how it all happened. How Frank was only …” Hal glanced at the door. “Our half-brother.”
“Do you think your father married your mother when Frank was a baby, at least young enough not to know? Maybe her husband…”
Hal shook his head. “My father talked about my mother being pregnant with Frank. About how they met, how he dated her when he was sixteen and he went out with her once before …” With an exhale of revelation, Hal dropped his head. “No wonder Frank has Slagel DNA. He’s a Slagel.”
Elliott looked at his curiously.
“My Uncle Jerry dated her after my father. He was her first serious relationship.”
“Uncle Jerry is gay.”
“Yes, he was, they always said that’s why they broke up. Bet she was pregnant with Frank and my father married her.”
“Then again, it’s guessing. Your mother could have also been with a cousin, or wasn’t your grandfather single …”
“Do not,” Hal waved a finger. “My mother was not a slut.”
“Captain I wasn’t…”
“It’s okay, I’m sorry … you were theorizing. I will find out. Not now, but soon. For my baby brother who would want to know.”
“How did it happen, Captain? If you don’t mind me asking.”
Hal shook his head. “He seemed fine. We were talking. Frank arrived, showed pictures, Robbie was laughing. He was laughing hard and then went into cardiac arrest.”
“While he was laughing?” Elliott asked.
“Yes.”
“Wow.”
Hal noticed the slight smile on Elliott’s face. “Why does that make you happy?”
“It’s just that, there are many ways to go. A hero’s death, a coward’s way out, a whimper, a bang. But to be honored to leave this earth the way you lived life is a blessing. No one, Captain, no one smiled or laughed more than your brother. How many times, during a meeting did your father scold him for laughing when he wasn’t, because he knew, Robbie would eventually laugh.”
“He always laughed.”
“And he made others laugh, too.”
“He left this world not in pain, not crying, but with the one thing that made Robbie … Robbie, the genuine, perfect smile on his face.”
Hal tightened his lips and pressed them together for a smile. “Yeah, you are absolutely right. I heard my brother laugh, one final time.”
“May I ask what he was laughing at?” Elliott asked.
“One word,” Hal said.
“Frank?”
Hal nodded. “Frank.”
<><><><>
The first hour was a blur, a complete blur to Frank. He didn’t even remember leaving the clinic, it was as if he was on a drunken binge and had blacked out.
His last recollection was walking from Robbie’s room and he snapped into reality in the eastern part of the training division, deep in the woods, his fists slamming left and right, fast and furious into a hand to hand combat dummy while he screamed from the top of his lungs.
Breaths heavy and sharp, Frank had no clue how he got there, or what he did in the interim. He only hoped that the hurtful rage he exhibited and physically exuded was on that dummy only.
He then started to think. He thought about Robbie, what had happened, and what he had to do.
It probably wasn’t a top priority, but to Frank it would keep him focused and he headed toward his father’s office
Inside he immediately started searching the file cabinet.
“What are you doing, Frank?” Danny asked.
Frank kept searching. “It’s here somewhere.”
“What is? Frank. Your brother died an hour ago.”
Frank shut the file cabinet and carried a folder. “I know this.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Finding what I need to find.”
“What are you looking for?”
“It’s hard to explain,” Frank said.
“Whatever it is, should wait.”
“What am I supposed to do?” Frank sat at the desk. “Find a corner, sulk, sob, scream, beat someone up.”
“Yes. Well, except the beat up someone part.”
Frank shook his head. “I took a walk. I was alone. I got my emotions out and there will be time. It’s not right now. I’ll be a big part in the CFM.”
“The CFM?”
Frank sat back, he pressed his fingers to the corner of his eyes and exhaled. “When my Uncle Jerry died, we w
ere all at the funeral, and his partner says to us that Uncle Jerry wouldn’t want us to be sad. When … Sergeant Pletcher passed away, her son said the same thing. And I remember Robbie always said, when …” Frank choked on the word. “When he died …”
“He didn’t want people sad.” Danny nodded. ‘So that’s why you’re working.”
“No, he never said that. He said,” Frank chuckled emotionally. “He said he wanted people to cry, at least for a little bit, really do it up like when we went to Bill Chen’s funeral. Bill was a buddy from the neighborhood.”
“Ah,” Danny nodded. “CFM. Chinese Funeral Moment. The more people cry and scream the more they were loved.”
“Yep.”
Danny laughed then cleared his throat. “Sorry.”
“No, laugh. Robbie made people laugh. Robbie laughed at anything. And I am pretty sure his wanting the Chinese Funeral Moment was more for his amusement than ego. So I am gonna make sure he gets it.”
“And that’s what you’re doing? Looking for ….”
“This is the short list of Bowman residents and their past jobs and present. I know I saw it somewhere. We never had a real funeral, ever. We came close with my dad, but …. I want to do it the way we grew up knowing.”
“Harv Stevens.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re looking for a former mortician, funeral director, right? Harv Stevens. You just needed to ask, Frank.”
“Thanks, Danny.” Frank stood.
“Is now the time to do this? I mean, even in the old world, people did so the next day.”
“I know. But I need to do this. I can’t stand around or sit around. If I don’t, my father may make the choice not to and I can’t have that. Us brothers can’t have that. We’ll need the closure. That includes a service.”
“Well, you’re in luck, the world’s coolest Catholic priest is now part of Beginnings.”
“Father Mike? Yeah, I forgot about that. I’ll talk to him when I’m in Bowman.”
“Just put him in charge he’ll handle the service end.”
“Thanks.” Frank gave a swat to Danny’s arm. “Can you handle things while I’m gone?”
“Absolutely. Don’t even think about it.”
Giving a nod of thanks, Frank grabbed the jeep keys and walked out. He was no sooner in the jeep and moving when his phone rang.
The Third Ten Page 221
