“Is this what it means to be a hunter?” I ask.
“Unfortunately. You can see why some are so eager to get out of this life at some point in time.”
Realization starts racking my body with shivers, and I laugh. “You know the worst part of this, Fiona?”
She glances at me but doesn’t say a word.
“I could have stopped this. If it really was Arsen Didi saw, I… I’ve been feeling him all around me. I thought it was anxiety, but there have been times I could swear he’s watching me.”
“What about right now?”
“I don’t feel it right now. It comes and goes, but lately, it was becoming pretty constant. I just—” I choke. “I just don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know what I’m supposed to believe or if I should even trust my own feelings. How do I become stronger? How do I fight this? How do I stop Arsen from hurting the people I love?”
Fiona pulls me into her roughly with one arm, a sort of attempt at affection. “You’re forgetting the good side of this. Arsen didn’t kill them. That’s something. And they’ll be safe now. They’re leaving. Now we just need to worry about you. You’re going to stay in the base from now on. You’re better protected there than you could ever be here. In the meantime, all hunters will be informed about Arsen and his physical description. Yuki too. Hopefully they plan on sticking around for a while. The sooner we can find them and stop them, the better. If we can manage it, it might be worth interrogating him or Yuki. Those other demons that were seen in Reverie are probably still out there, too.”
“Those other demons don’t matter,” I say, even though I recognize the ridiculousness of that statement.
I can’t stop myself from being solely focused on Arsen. I know Wyatt said he saw a monster, most likely another demon, that didn’t match either Arsen’s or Yuki’s descriptions, but all I can think is Arsen. When Arsen’s gone, everything will be right again.
“Other demons definitely matter,” Fiona retorts. “The EEA has grown steadily for years and years, and we’ve never even witnessed a single demon.”
I catch my heart-shaped black diamond between my thumb and pointer finger. “If Arsen’s really here and he’s been watching me, why did he go to Didi instead of confronting me?” I whisper.
“I don’t know,” Fiona replies.
“If he wants me, maybe we could use me as bait. There’s got to be some way we could set up a trap for him.”
“No.” Fiona releases me, grabs my backpack, and starts packing my things. “Come help me. We’re moving you out tonight.”
CHAPTER 28
Rynne
AS I MAKE MY way to the lobby to meet up with Tasia, as is our agreed upon arrangement, I spot Miguel. He gives me a hard look, letting me know just how much he despises me, before passing by me without a word. No matter how many missions I go on with Gold Team, Miguel hasn’t warmed up to me one bit. I spot Sherri and Donovan next. Donovan’s laughing about something he said, and Sherri is listening quietly and politely. She isn’t one for giving input unless the situation calls for it.
“Hey, Rynne!” Donovan exclaims.
He raises his hand in a friendly gesture, so I raise mine in return.
“We don’t have an assignment today. Blade said to hit the gym and brush up on our skills. Come join us,” he says as he stops to talk.
Sherri nods at me, but then silently excuses herself as she makes her way to the gym.
“I will,” I reply. “Give me a few minutes.”
“Going to see that pretty girl of yours, huh?” he says, nudging my arm with his huge elbow.
“She’s just a friend,” I correct.
“Yeah, right. I seen the way you two look at each other. Take it from an old hunter: don’t wait.”
He moves past me, not interested in hearing a reply. Maybe I’d take his advice if circumstances were different, but Tasia and I aren’t meant to be anything more than what we are.
I walk through the base until I reach the lobby. Tasia’s already there.
“Sorry for making you wait,” I say as I take a seat beside her.
She glances up at me before returning her attention to fiddling with the heart-shaped black diamond hanging around her neck. I’ve noticed she’s been more anxious than usual lately, but I figured it had to do with all the pressure of everything going on. Today something is definitely wrong, though. She’s not even trying to hide her nervousness from me.
“Tasia?”
“Fiona moved me into the base. Didi and Connor were in Philadelphia. I saw them yesterday, but they’re gone now already. I didn’t even think to tell you. They’re your friends, too,” she chatters.
“It’s fine,” I say, unsure why this has her so upset. Despite what she thinks, I don’t mind that I missed them. It doesn’t bother me. It’s not like I’ve kept in contact with them.
“Arsen attacked Didi.”
My blood runs cold. Attacked her?
Tasia adds, “Fiona said she’s fine, but I guess Arsen tried to get inside her head. He wanted to know more about… me. I’m just so scared, Rynne. I’m so angry, so scared, and so confused all the time, and I just want it to be over. Didi and Connor’s parents won’t let them talk to me anymore either. They said we have to sever ties. I know my life can never go back to what it was, but I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I was hoping it could. They’ve been my friends forever, Rynne. I feel like I’ve lost my family all over again.”
This is the girl I’ve gotten to know all her life, the sunny wisp of a girl who used to laugh and smile shyly, but behind that nervousness was a sense of happiness. She’s become so broken in such a short amount of time. At moments, I hardly recognize her. This great destiny she’s supposed to fulfill has already changed her so much. I know I shouldn’t doubt the Oracle’s words; they’re God’s words. But I don’t think this fragile human will make it through in one piece. Her light doesn’t shine as brightly, and darkness is trying to take hold of her. I’m supposed to keep her on the right path, but how am I supposed to do that if I can’t keep darkness away from her heart? If I speed up the process, will that stop the pain? I can’t stand seeing her like this. I start to lose all objectivity, and the only thing that matters is to stop her from hurting.
Without thinking, I bring her into my arms and hold her close. I tell her, “Everything’s going to be okay.” And then I think to myself, I’ll make sure of it.
“I’m glad you’re here, Rynne,” she says. Then she snuggles up closer to me. “I always feel safe when I’m close to you.”
I don’t tell her that being close to her makes me impulsive. I hold her longer than I should.
“We should go,” I say. I stand up before I lose the willpower to part from her. “I’ll see you again soon.”
She stands up beside me. Our hands brush against each other, and then she takes my hand and gives a little squeeze.
“See you,” she says.
She’s the first to go. I stay glued in place and turn my head to watch her leave. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. She disappears from sight, down one of the halls. I’m going to take care of this. I’m going to ease her suffering just as soon as I can.
Reluctantly, I make my way to the gym to meet up with the rest of Gold Team. As soon as I get there, Miguel comes up to me. It’s like he was waiting at the gym’s entrance just so he could intercept me. He greets me with a shove, like usual.
“Let’s have a rematch,” he says.
“Didn’t you prove you’re better than me last time?” I ask.
“You let me win.”
“I didn’t.”
Miguel shoves me again, but this time he presses me into a wall. He’s on the verge of making a scene. He’ll probably punch me next, depending on if what I say sets him off.
He hisses. “Don’t insult me.”
“You’re the one who completed the last mission. Exorcising that ghost? That was all you,” I say, trying to back myself up.
<
br /> “Yeah I know what you want everyone to think, but it isn’t the truth. It’s like the day you came here you were a whirlwind of competency, but since then you’ve toned it down to fit in. Just what is your game? What are you trying to prove?”
“I’m not trying to prove anything.”
“And what about your supposed knowledge on demons and the fact that you’ve been hunting them alone? Do you really think anyone here buys that shit? Hunting monsters alone is hard enough, but if demons are as bad as lore says, then how are you alive?”
I fall silent because nothing I say is going to be good enough for him. He’s seen through my lies, and I’m sure Blade has, too, but she’s emotionally involved. She was a close friend of Tasia’s parents. She wants justice just as bad as Tasia, and she’s not going to let a lead like myself just slip away.
“What’s going on over here?” Donovan demands.
He puts a meaty hand on Miguel’s shoulder. Miguel glances behind, eyes shooting daggers, but he lets me go.
“Hands off,” he growls. Then he jerks away from Donovan, shoving past the much bigger hunter.
Donovan looks at me apologetically. Despite any first impressions people might get from his looks alone, he’s a gentle giant. “Sorry, kid. Miguel will let up soon. He’s notorious for being hard on new recruits.”
I shake my head. “Don’t worry about it. We have training to do, right? Let’s do it.”
“You in a hurry?”
“I have something I need to do.”
I wait until it’s dark, and then I walk among the abandoned warehouses surrounding the base. The heaviness in the air around here is oppressing. It’s a weight that shouldn’t be here unless there’s a demon nearby. I’m not close enough to any populated areas of the city for it to be a conglomeration of human darkness. Philadelphia has been a rather clean city compared to many others, most likely because of the hunters based here. This foreboding feeling has to be because of him.
“Arsen!” I shout out among the abandoned warehouses, the ones I know don’t have any hidden cameras. “Face me, you coward! You hide in the shadows, watching her, but you never act.” I hold out my hands. “What are you afraid of? Some angels? After all the stories I’ve heard, I wouldn’t have taken you for a washed-up demon.”
The air around me stirs, the darkness along with it. Rage creeps in from all around me, the unfathomable rage of a demon. I stay perfectly still with my senses honed. I can’t sense any movement anywhere nearby, but I’m certain my challenge was heard. This is unusual. It’s not like a demon to hold back like this. If this is how the great Arsen acts around a made angel, natural demons can’t be as big of a deal as I’ve been taught.
It’s either that or Tasia has warped him to a degree I wouldn’t have thought possible until now. If that’s the case, it really is time to speed things up. Tasia needs to take control. Soon. She’s ready. She has the strength to do this. I have to believe that. I have to believe in her.
“I’m disappointed,” I tell the darkness.
I don’t know his exact location, but I’m certain Arsen is watching me from somewhere. He can hear my every word. But he still doesn’t come.
CHAPTER 29
Arsen
I’M GOING TO KILL him.
I’m going to dive in there and rip off his fucking head!
I can feel my sides heaving, shuddering with every shallow breath I take. This made angel is taunting me. He doesn’t know just how quickly I can kill him. He’s nothing. Absolutely nothing.
My beast tells me to go out there and fulfill my rage, but my logician tugs against my desires once again. I know there’s at least one other angel hovering nearby. They arrived not too long after this made angel did. They must have known he was going to do something stupid, and now they’re here to either back him up or to put an end to it. I don’t know which. I don’t know why I’m not moving closer. My beast assures me they’re just a couple of angels, nothing special, nothing different from what I’ve taken out before. I could kill them. I could do it in a heartbeat.
So why can’t I move?
I touch the back of my hand to my forehead. Sweat is pouring down my skin. My body, my mind, everything’s fighting against each other. This made angel is the same one that’s been watching over Tasia. He’s part of the angels’ plan to finally put an end to me. They know how to do it and that’s why he’s baiting me. My logician insists this is the case. The other angelic presence is his backup. They’ll kill me if I move forward.
I’m shaking so badly. I’m starting to think my beast and logician will tear me apart before an angel even gets the chance to.
The angel presence is growing stronger, and that’s when I retreat. I rush back, far away, past the abandoned warehouses and into the narrow and mostly unused back roads of Philadelphia. It’s here I feel the comforting mix of light and dark, human actions and souls that exist as a neutral force, constantly being swayed one way or the other.
I ran away from a couple of angels.
My beast taunts me, rejects me. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I ran away. In all the years I’ve been trapped in the mortal world, I’ve never once run away from an angel of any kind.
It’s not that simple. The angels have a plan to kill you. We can’t rush in blindly anymore. My logician insists I made the right choice.
How did they do it? How did they trap me inside of myself like this? If I take just one step out of line and let my darkness roam free, if I turn to my beast, whatever I do that doesn’t include all my efforts to stay hidden, will result in my death. My beast’s form is easier to find than my logician’s. They’re ready for me. I can’t make the first move. I can’t succeed in any more surprise attacks because they’re expecting me.
Unless I leave. If I leave the girl behind, everything will go back to how it was. I’ll be able to prey on unsuspecting angels, and I’ll be able to think clearly again.
I’m coming unhinged.
I don’t want to leave. I can’t leave. Something ties me to that girl. Being any farther away from her than I’m already forced to be might kill me.
Go. Go. Go. My beast urges me toward her, begging me to just give in.
I fall to my knees and scream as I hold my head with my hands. I feel like my skull is about to split open.
But it seems I haven’t completely lost my senses.
I bring myself low to the ground and roll to the side just as an incoming blow comes from behind. The darkness from this individual means I’m not dealing with an angel.
“What’s the big idea, man?” the snarling demon behind me demands. “You just scared off my prey before I even got a chance to make my move.”
Slowly, I rise to my feet. Then I proceed to brush off the filth that gathered onto my clothes.
“I’m talking to you!”
I dodge the hand that shoots out toward me. The creature before me is nothing but a cursed human. The hunger in his animalistic eyes and the glistening fangs peeking through his half-open jaw shows just how desperate this half-breed is for food.
The mortal takes another step toward me. Then he stops. The flicker of understanding in his eyes tells me he’s figured out what I am. Then he does something unexpected. Instead of fleeing, like any sensible made demon would do, his eyes turn dark and he begins to circle me.
“You,” he says, his voice accusing. “You’re the same as the monster who did this to me! Your kind ruined my life! I’ve become nothing but a monster myself. I can’t think straight without feeding on human flesh, and I feel ravenous all the time. I can never return home to my family because me being around them puts them in danger.” Tears stream down his face as his wrath continues to grow. “Do you have any idea what that’s like? Do you creatures even know how to feel?”
“Oh, we feel,” I tell him, and I watch as he circles me again.
“No, you don’t. You’re liars, monsters, demons. Your only purpose is to spread misery, to share your own cursed and painfu
l existence.”
“Perhaps you’re right.” I smirk. “We are miserable creatures, and misery loves company.”
He leaps for me. His glistening white fangs catch the light of the crescent moon as he dives for me. I step out of his way, causing him to crash into the asphalt below. Then I turn back around before he has time to recover, and I effortlessly snap his neck.
His body lands limply in front of me. His wound starts to heal, and I decide to put him out of his misery. I tightly grip his shoulders and bury my teeth into his neck. His hot blood streams into my mouth and down my throat, burning the whole way down into my stomach. I drain all of the life essence being carried inside his blood within a second. Then I discard his body to the ground.
This time, he remains still. His wound bleeds out into a pool of blood, bathing the asphalt in red.
I wipe at my mouth with the back of my hand. Blood smears on my skin and I stare at the glistening red liquid, liquid that once carried the essence of life. How many years did this sorry creature provide me? No more than 20, I’d wager.
“Are you going to kill me?”
I look behind me to see the apparition that haunts nothing but my own mind. A girl dressed in a dirty and ragged dress. Blond ratted hair. Blue eyes that are too transparent. A body so slight it’s a wonder she can even walk.
“Emma,” I breathe the name as it burns across my lips.
Those words: “Are you going to kill me?” Those were the first words she ever spoke to me. They’re natural words, words anyone would speak when confronted by a demon like me, but it’s the way she said them that forever sticks out in my mind. She wasn’t afraid. She asked that question with a tone of resignation like she was ready to accept that fate from me, like she hoped I would kill her and take her away from the pains of this world.
Tasia said those exact same words to me the first time we met as well. She said them much the same way.
I shake my head at the apparition made from my memories. “All of this time I’ve been fighting for you. I’ve been living only to avenge you, but now my resolve has been shaken. I’m not sure I can kill them anymore,” I confess. “I think the angels have finally found a way to stop me. They’ve already gotten to my beast. Can you believe it? They’ve found a way to bring back the part of me that sank with you when I gave your body to the Salem River. They’ve found a way to defile my memory of you. They’ve got my beast infatuated with a girl who feels like she’s trying to be you. But no one could ever be you. No one could ever replace you.”
Demon Snare (These Immortal Vows Book 1) Page 21
