Now I can finally let my eyes rest on my prize: Tasia. She’s holding her left arm, blood slick on her skin and clothes. She’s hurt worse than I thought. I don’t think. My beast wills my body toward her. My logician tries to make itself heard, reminding me that I’m forgetting something.
I breathe in a sharp breath of air just to get it knocked out of my lungs in the next instant as I’m slammed into a broken wall. I feel cracked ribs as I lie there dazed for a few seconds. When my vision clears, the first thing I see is the made angel rushing toward me in the skin of a polar bear. I’m ready for him this time. I ease myself off the ground and catch the almost-dead angel’s swinging paws with my claws, and then I twist around him, giving myself leverage and the upper hand as I slam his face into the ground.
“I’ll kill you next,” I whisper into his ear.
“Please, let him go!” Tasia cries from behind me. “I’m the one you want. Let him go.”
My logician demands I kill the angel, but it’s once again eclipsed by my beast, who obeys Tasia’s request without question. I release the unconscious polar-bear and step away from him. My beast walks me up to Tasia, and then it recedes from my appearance, sensing her unrest with my current body. I watch her eyes intently, looking for cues. Even looking as human as I can, she’s terrified of me.
Unable to maintain eye contact, I turn my attention to her wounds. Her arm is bruised badly, possibly broken. “You’re hurt,” I state, though it’s obvious.
I rip off my tattered jacket and fix her arm up in a makeshift sling.
She asks, “What are you doing?”
I say nothing.
“Why are you helping me after you killed my parents? Why didn’t you kill Rynne when I begged you not to?”
There it is again: “You killed my parents.”
Seeing the way she looks at me, the things she’s accusing me of, why do I care so much? I don’t know her. None of this matters, and yet she has absolute control over my beast, over me.
I say, “I’ve killed many in my lifetime, but your parents aren’t among them.”
“You lia—”
“It’s the truth. I don’t know what the angels have done to you, precious girl, but they’re using you.”
“I don’t even know any angels.” She shakes. I bring my eyes back up to her face to see tears streaming down her cheeks. “Or, at least, I thought I didn’t. But Rynne, he… he’s an angel, isn’t he? Nothing makes sense. What were you doing there, then? At my house? You were going to kill me! You killed them!”
I bring my left hand to her face and wipe away her tears. This time she doesn’t flinch when my skin touches hers. The fear she has of me seems to fall away in place of something else. I can look into her eyes now, really look into them. There’s something familiar in those eyes, something I know I’ve seen before, but I don’t…
Instinct takes over. My beast takes complete control of my thoughts, my feelings, my actions, and I lean in close to this human I’ve never met. My lips brush against hers, hanging slightly open, and I kiss her. Her lips are soft under mine, accepting my kiss like she’s been waiting her whole life for it, like she wants it more than anything. Everything makes sense in this kiss, and yet nothing could be more confusing.
Despite her body’s obvious willingness, she draws back from me. The look in her eyes has turned into utter disgust. “Don’t touch me,” she half orders, half begs. “I have to help Rynne. I have to…”
She tries to peek over my shoulder to see her polar bear angel. I shouldn’t care about how she reacted. I shouldn’t care about the way she just looked at me, but my beast is crushed. It’s whining in my chest, begging her to see me again. To really see me.
“Why won’t you just kill me?” She sobs. “Why are you torturing me like this? Stop making me feel things that aren’t real! I love Rynne, and I hate you. I hate you more than anything!”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about. She’s the one torturing me. She’s the one making me feel things I shouldn’t. She’s… feeling things she shouldn’t. Is she suffering as much as I am?
I catch her face in my hands and force her to look at me. “You’re in pain,” I say. “Being near me is agonizing. You think about me even when I’m not there.”
Her eyelids flutter rapidly. Her mouth quivers, but no words come out. Then she nods.
This is something. We’re talking. Sort of. Maybe I’ll get answers this way. Maybe I can ju—
I jump away from the girl, but I don’t do it soon enough. Something smashes into my side and burns through my flesh as I’m pinned to a wall with a silver sword. The curly strawberry-blond hair of the angel wielding the sword falls around her, gravity finally catching up with the speed of her movements. I’ve seen this angel before, a long time ago. She was a master in the Servant Program. And not just any master. She was the master of the elite team, the team my grandfather was a part of.
She slightly retracts her blade from my stomach just to twist it upward and farther into my flesh, until it’s poking up into my rib cage. Blood gushes out of my mouth, stifling a cry from escaping my lips. The sound comes out as a garbled mess instead, as I spit up more blood. Black is flashing across my vision, but my beast manages to manifest itself into my physical appearance again. I slice the angel holding me captive with my claws. She’s wearing silver armor, but my claws pierce through. I don’t care if I have to get a few more cuts by silver if I can just reach her heart. She can tell that’s exactly what I’m trying to do, so she retreats from me. I grab the silver sword and pull it out of my flesh. Blood pours out of the gaping wound as I toss the burning weapon to the floor. I’m losing so much life essence over what would be an inconsequential wound had this been caused by a sword made of anything but silver.
The angel rushes at me again. She’s moving faster than I thought possible with her logician in full control of her physical appearance. I can’t risk my beast taking complete control of my physical appearance. I can feel angels all around. They must be clearing out the base. The presence of so many angels in Terra in one location… I’ve never heard of such a thing. I guess they’re finally getting serious. My best bet is to hide my beast and to run. It’s either that or die.
The lithe angel has her sword again. She swings at me, but only manages a shallow cut this time. I glance back at Tasia, wanting nothing more than to take her with me, but she’ll only slow me down. And she wouldn’t come willingly. I have to leave right now.
“Your fight is with me,” the angel shouts as she swings her sword again.
I allow the tail of my beast to manifest. Then I smack the angel with the end of my tail, sharp and deadly like a knife. She flies back into a wall. I use the opportunity to escape through one of the demon-made entrances into the base. I quiet my beast and let my logician resume control over my appearance, hiding my demonic presence as well as I can as I run far away from the base. I do it just in time, because the light of angels consumes the base moments later. I stick to the shadows, to the areas where I can fade into darkness.
The wound inside of my body has healed enough to stop the constant gushing of blood, but each step I take is painful. Fucking silver and angels. Both are deadly, and when combined, they’re hell. I bring my hand to my stomach as I stumble forward, farther away from the light. I grunt as the wound continues to burn, but I don’t let it stop me.
I failed. I couldn’t bring Tasia with me. My logician assures I did the right thing. There’s probably at least one angel who knows Tasia’s unique aura. That means, if I had her with me right now, they would have already come after us—probably. She’s a death trap for me any way I look at it. Anywhere near her is dangerous. There was no way I was going to get any answers out of her because she doesn’t understand any more of what’s going on than I do. Whatever the angels did, it’s working both ways it seems, but she has more power in this relationship than I do. She stopped me from killing a damn angel. I obey her words, and I don’t even think twice. She�
��s dangerous, and I should have let Solanis kill her, just like Yuki said. So why does my beast fight so vehemently against the thought of killing her?
It’s because being away from her is painful. I want to be near her. My beast wants to be near her. If she’s dead, I’ll never be near her again. I didn’t think it was possible to die again, but now I think it is. I died the day Emma died, and that fact will never change. But Tasia has brought a flicker of what I was with Emma back to life. My beast acted erratically around Emma too. I gave everything I am to Emma. I gave up everything for Emma. And now it’s starting over again, except this time it’s a perversion of something that was once so beautiful. It’s as the girl said: I’m feeling things I shouldn’t feel because the angels have found a way to do the impossible. There is indeed a connection to mine and Tasia’s souls, but it isn’t of our own doing. The angels made this connection, and since a connection between two souls is something between those two souls alone, this angel-made connection is tainted.
Unless I can break it, it’ll destroy me and her. Helena is the only one who might know how to stop this. If she’ll see me soon, I might still have a chance. Otherwise, my life is over. Because I can’t even carry through with the simplest solution. I can’t kill the girl.
CHAPTER 59
Tasia
WHY IS HE WIPING away my tears? Why do I like the feeling of his fingers on my face?
I try to blink away the tears blurring my vision. I must be seeing things because I swear he’s moving closer to me. Closer and closer. My breath catches in my throat and I let my lips part softly as if anticipating what’s about to happen.
He kisses me. He kisses me, and I like it. His lips are so soft against mine. He tastes like nothing I’ve ever tasted before, but at the same time, he’s somehow familiar. I want to explore this kiss a little longer to figure it out. Then I realize what I’m doing.
I withdraw from his lips and lean away from him. I’m so angry with myself. I can’t believe I was kissing him and that I actually enjoyed it. Now that I’m back to my senses, I realize just how wrong it was. My lips are for Rynne and Rynne alone. This demon can’t convince me otherwise. I’m holding on to the truth.
“Don’t touch me,” I say, but my conviction is lacking. “I have to help Rynne. I have to…”
I try to look over Arsen’s shoulder, but he’s too tall. I look around him instead, trying to see Rynne. Is he okay? Arsen didn’t kill him. He stopped, right? Then I catch sight of him. He’s no longer the big white polar bear I was expecting to see. He’s human again—or as human as he ever was. He’s hidden by some rubble, but I can make out the profile of his face. He isn’t moving. And I see blood. Lots of blood.
“Why won’t you just kill me?” I sob. “Why are you torturing me like this? Stop making me feel things that aren’t real! I love Rynne, and I hate you. I hate you more than anything!” I say the words just as much for Arsen to hear as I do for myself.
Arsen’s unraveling me. He’s toying with me like evil does. None of what I just felt in that kiss is real. None of it.
He catches my face with his hands and forces me to look at him. He says, “You’re in pain. Being near me is agonizing. You think about me even when I’m not there.”
Why is he saying that? He already knows all of this. My eyelids flutter as I try to fight back my tears. My mouth quivers with words I don’t know how to say. I’m lost. I’m confused and defeated. I nod in resignation to his words.
He looks like he wants to say something else, but then glinting silver blurs my vision and Arsen’s gone. I yelp in surprise when I hear something crashing to my right. It’s Arsen. He just smashed into a wall and someone in silver armor is holding him there. There’s a sword pressed deep inside of the right side of his stomach, pointing upward at an awkward angle. The blade has to be lodged somewhere in his lungs. He gurgles up blood, and my heart lurches at the sight. I can’t decide if I’m horrified or grateful to the terrifying woman holding him there. Arsen lashes out at her as soon as his fingernails turn into claws again.
Prying my eyes away from the fight, I focus on Rynne’s limp body just a few feet away from me. I need to know he’s still alive. I crawl forward despite the pain shooting through my body. I favor my arm that Arsen put in a sling as I move forward. But the closer I get to Rynne, the more I feel like I’m about to lose my nerve. He’s covered in blood. I can’t tell if he’s breathing. As far as I can tell from among the rubble, his clothes are gone and he’s probably freezing.
“Rynne,” I cry his name, but my voice is only loud enough for my own ears. “Rynne, please don’t be dead.” I feel hot tears streaming down my cheeks.
I glance back at the fight in time to see the silver-clad woman sent flying into another already-broken wall of the building. Arsen gives me one last fleeting glance before he disappears through one of the holes created by the monsters that fled after Arsen killed that other demon. That look in his eyes. He looks so desperate as he looks back at me. Then he’s gone.
Dragging myself forward to bridge the gap between me and Rynne, I reach out my hand for him. I have to know if he’s still alive. He has to be alive. I can’t lose him, too.
“Rynne!” I cry, hoping against all odds that he’ll answer me. He doesn’t.
Before I can reach him, feet scuffle around me, and two more people wearing silver armor pick Rynne up and carry him away.
“Wait!” I plead. “Where are you taking him?”
They don’t even turn around. I’m answered with a hand on my shoulder instead. It’s somehow warm, good. It’s the kind of touch I felt from my parents, the unconditional love they held for me. I shudder when I see the alien beauty of the woman’s face. She’s the one who was fighting Arsen and now she’s comforting me? She looks human, but she’s way too perfect. The subtle curves and features of her face are too delicate to be real, and yet she’s so powerful. The blood staining her light hair and the gouge in her armor do little to detract from her presence. Then there are her eyes. They’re bright, vivid, somehow like the demon eyes I’ve seen, but they feel like Rynne’s. Her eyes are a deep blue like the ocean, and their depths are just as mysterious.
“Everything is going to be all right,” she assures me, her voice soft and velvety like the petals of a rose.
“But Rynne, he—who are you people?” I’m shaking so much I wonder if my words are even understandable.
She wraps her arms around me and then pulls me up onto my feet. She scoops me up into her arms with no effort at all. Despite the cold, hard armor she’s wearing, I feel like I’m safe inside of one of my mother’s embraces. The way I’m being held is reminiscent of how my mother would take me to bed at night when I was little. She’s a complete stranger, but I’m ready and willing to trust her.
So, I let her carry me. I don’t feel like protesting, and I don’t know if it would accomplish anything anyway. This woman fought off Arsen. The way she feels, the way she looks, the fact that she’s wearing and wielding silver, she must be an angel. How else could she be so powerful? How else could she fight Arsen off like that? Rynne is an angel too. The silver soldiers are all angels. That explains why Rynne knows how to fight demons. Did he come here just for that purpose? To take hunters to the next level?
The beautiful woman catches me staring at her, and gives me a small smile. “We’ll take care of your wounds,” she informs.
We’re inside the lobby now. The place is barely recognizable after everything that happened. The screens that lined the walls have been busted and they’re shooting sparks. Some lights overhead still work, so it isn’t completely dark at least. Furniture has been thrown around. A lot of things are destroyed. Even the ground has cracks in it. I don’t see any fires anymore, so I guess that threat has been extinguished. It looks like the monsters have pretty much cleared out of the base too.
I take note of all the silver soldiers I can find. I count ten. They’re all attending to injured hunters. Some of the hunters aren’t moving
. I try not to think the worst, but I know that many probably lost their lives tonight.
The woman carrying me sets me down on a bench next to another hunter being treated. Then she starts inspecting my wounds.
“You mostly have cuts that only need cleaning. They’ll heal on their own, but I’ll get some herbs to speed up the process,” she says. “It looks like your left elbow has been dislocated. It should be fine once I place it.”
I squeeze my eyes shut as she gets to work and immediately pops my bone back into place. It burns for a moment, but her hands linger on my arm, and the pain goes away. Don’t these kinds of injuries usually need to stay in a sling or something?
She announces, “Finished.”
I open my eyes and see the woman smiling at me again. I have a million questions I want to ask her, but I’m tongue-tied. I can’t find the words to say any of them.
“Tasia!”
The woman stands up and leaves. I can’t even find it in me to ask her to stay as Divya takes her place. Fiona comes, too. I look at them both. I see some scratches and bruises. Fiona has a few stitches, but that’s it. I look beyond them and see that the rest of Gold Team is okay too—assuming Rynne is still alive.
“You’re both okay,” I whimper.
Divya hugs me gently. I feel her tears on my shoulder. I can see the relief in Fiona’s eyes, but she doesn’t hug me. She’s still the base’s commander, and the commander couldn’t save her base. She’s devastated and doesn’t know how to react.
“Who are these people?” Fiona wonders aloud.
“Angels,” I say quietly.
“What?”
“I think they’re angels.”
But if they are angels, why didn’t they come sooner? Why didn’t Rynne ever tell me the truth? What point was there in keeping this all a secret? Question after question keeps swirling around in my head, but the one question above the rest of them, the one I can’t find a single explanation for, is just this: why did Arsen save me?
Demon Snare (These Immortal Vows Book 1) Page 36
