His skin burns against mine, and I try to take in the heat so I can stop shaking. He holds me tight, rubs my back, and kisses my hair. Soon my trembling stops, and I concentrate on the pounding of his heart. I look up at his blue eyes so full of concern, and tilt my chin to kiss him.
He kisses me back gently, but I want more. I want to forget all the pain. I want to forget Remy. I want to feel alive again. I kiss him hungrily, and he pulls back.
“Megan?”
“Shh,” I whisper, as I pepper his bare chest with kisses. I run my hands up his strong arms and then kiss him on the mouth again. I press my hips into his, and then reach around to unhook my bra and slide the straps down off my shoulders. I hug him tightly and bury my head in his neck. “Whatever happens—just don’t stop.”
SEVENTEEN
Wow,” I say as Mom pulls the car into the Land of Enchantment parking lot. “I can’t believe how many cars are here.” It’s packed and it looks like more people are arriving to take advantage of the late-day ticket price. If you arrive after five, you only have two hours until the park closes, but you can use your ticket for another full day anytime during the summer.
Of course, none of this matters to me. I’m only here because Mr. Roy called to let me know I had a paycheck waiting for me. It’s just one day’s pay, but I’ll get it, and then let them know I won’t be returning.
In a few minutes, Ryan, Samantha, and Ari will be part of my past, and I can concentrate on my future with Luke.
A smile comes to my face and my heart flutters thinking about being with Luke last night—the one good thing among the seemingly endless nightmares that have happened.
Except, with Remy haunting me, how many more nightmares am I going to have to suffer through? My good mood fades as quickly as it came. If Nona couldn’t get through to Remy, who can?
“Here we are,” Mom says, pulling up to the office building.
“Thanks, I’ll get the check and be out in a few minutes.”
I open the front door and make my way to Mr. Roy’s office, praying I don’t run into Ari. I can imagine her taking one look at my face and knowing I was with Luke.
I breathe a sigh of relief when I reach the door, and knock.
“Come in,” Mr. Roy calls out.
I open the door and Mr. Roy smiles at me sympathetically. “How’re you doing, Megan?” he asks.
“Um, okay, I guess.”
His eyes glisten and I hope he’s not going to cry. “I want you to know how very, very sorry we were to hear about your losses.”
I nod. “Thanks, and thank you for the flowers you sent.”
He dabs the corners of his eyes with his pink hankie and motions for me to sit down.
“Um, my mom is waiting for me, I really can’t stay.”
“Actually, I was hoping you could. I’m in a bit of a pickle, you see. We have a group of kids visiting from the Shining Star Camp today. Do you know it?”
“Yeah, it’s for kids who are terminally ill,” I say. “Our school does a fund raiser every year for them.”
He smiles again, his eyes misty. “We let them come to the park free of charge, and I’m sure you understand how much it would break my heart to have any one of them disappointed with their visit.”
“Uh-huh,” I say, trying to figure out where he’s going with this.
“Well, when I had lunch with the group earlier today, there was a little girl, four years old, dark hair like yours, and I asked her what would make her visit to Land of Enchantment special. And do you know what she said?”
I shake my head.
“She wanted to meet Snow White.” He looks at me expectantly.
“Oh,” is all I can think to say. He’s still giving me a puppy-dog face, and I really just want to get out of there.
He folds his hands on his desk, looking utterly pitiful. “Unfortunately, the Snow White on our schedule for today, Sarah Goldstein, came down with a stomach bug. I was really hoping I could talk you into filling in for her.”
Oh, God. The last thing I want to do is get that outfit on and walk around the park. And what if I run into Ryan—or Ari? “Uh, I’m sorry, but I’m not really feeling up for that, Mr. Roy. I was actually going to tell you I won’t be coming back to work here this summer.”
He looks wounded and tears up again.
“You know, with what happened and all,” I say quickly. “Can’t someone else do it?”
He shakes his head and dabs his eyes. “As soon as little Lucy told me about her wish, I got right on the phone and tried to find a replacement. We’re shorthanded today, and I can’t pull anyone off of a ride—safety rules, you see. Do you think you could find it in your heart to work for just a couple of hours until the park closes? For Lucy’s sake?”
I look into his watery eyes and don’t know what to say.
“What if I just take you to Lucy and then you can go? I’d credit you for a full day’s pay—that’s how much it means to me to make this little girl happy.”
He looks like he’s about to bawl and I nod my head. “I’ll call my mom,” I say wearily.
I walk into the costume room and my heart pounds. It’s quiet, but my eyes dart around the room, waiting for Remy to pop up. I reach out to grab a size eight Snow White costume and brace myself, afraid of getting another vision. I exhale as nothing happens, and I take the costume off the rack without incident.
Why did I let Mr. Roy talk me into this? And why does a man his age have to be such a freaking crybaby? Of course it would take someone like him to run Land of Enchantment—who else would be into all this drivel?
I walk into the changing room, take my clothes off, and slip the costume over my head. I lace up the bodice and I can’t help thinking about the girl Remy showed me—and about Nicki. I bite my lip. After Luke took me home last night, my first thought was to call Nicki.
I hear the costume shop door open and some people giggling. I take a deep breath and put on my “everything is A-OK” face.
I walk out of the dressing room and jump. Samantha and Christophe are going at it like Ye Olde Costume Shoppe is a cheap hotel room. Her shirt is pushed up, her bra is unhooked, and Christophe is helping himself to her boobs as he presses her up against the closed door, blocking my escape.
I squeeze my eyes shut and turn my back to them, adding the image of Samantha being felt up to the collection of scary images in my head. I clear my throat. “Hey, uh, sorry to be a party crasher guys, but I kinda have to get to work.”
“Oh my God!” Samantha squeals.
“Can I turn around now?” I ask after hearing them shuffling around for a few seconds.
“Oui.”
I turn and see they’re both red faced.
“Megan!” Samantha squeals. “I’m so sorry, we thought everyone who was dressing up was already out in the park so the room would be empty for a while.”
Christophe shrugs. “It is our break time,” he says in his thick accent.
I nod like all the employees are hooking up on their breaks. “Well, I’m gonna get going, but might I suggest you finish your break in one of the dressing rooms? You know, in case someone else might need to come in here.”
I walk past them into the hall, and Samantha follows me out. “Hey, Megan, are you doing okay?” she asks shyly.
I nod and put on my smile.
“If you need anything, you know you can call me,” she says, straightening her shirt. “And sorry about before with Christophe—it’s just hard to find places to be alone.”
“No problem.”
She looks up at me and purses her lips. “Ryan told me that you broke up with him.”
“Yeah. He’s all yours now.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, it wasn’t a secret you liked him.”
“Oh.” She looks down at her shoes for a second and then back up at me. “Are you really over him?”
“Yeah, I’m actually seeing someone else.”
Her jaw drops. “Seri
ously?”
“Yeah, it was kind of unexpected.”
She smiles slyly. “Well, since you’re seeing someone else, I guess I can tell you. Ryan came over to my house after you dumped him and finally made a move—but I turned him down.” She looks giddy. “I’m having fun with Christophe, and you know what? I’m kind of glad it’s Ryan who has to suffer in silence for once.”
“And maybe he’ll make the soul mate confession at the next keg party.”
Her face flushes deeper. “He told you about that?”
“Yup.”
“I was really drunk, I never would’ve told him otherwise. Not that I should’ve said it in the first place, but …”
“It’s okay. Honestly, I could never shake the feeling that you were right.”
“Maybe.” She furrows her brow and twirls one of her braids. “If you ever want some company when you visit the nursing home again, I’d be happy to go.” Her eyes suddenly grow wide. “I mean, if you still were planning on going, but maybe after your dad, um, maybe you’re not.”
“No, I’m still planning on going, I just don’t know when.”
“Okay, whenever you’re ready, you can call me. I really did like going there, except for that Mr. Archulata. He kept rubbing my thigh and it kind of freaked me out.”
“Yeah, he’s a little too friendly.” Talking about Mr. Archulata reminds me of Nicki, and it’s getting to be a strain maintaining “the face.” “Um, I should get going. Mr. Roy is waiting for me.”
Samantha looks at her watch. “I have to get back to work soon too. Don’t forget to call me.”
“Sure.” Even though the senior citizens eat up her perky shtick as if it were tapioca pudding, I’m thinking I’ll let Samantha Lee Darling make her own arrangements to visit the home. It’d be too weird for us to go together with her being friends with Ryan.
She reaches out and gives me a quick hug. “You can call me if you just need to talk too.”
I nod, plaster a smile on my face, and make my way out to the park to meet Lucy.
Mr. Roy is waiting for me in a golf cart outside the office building. He clutches his hands to his chest and beams. “I just know Lucy will be thrilled to meet you, Snow White.” He winks and I will myself to keep my happy face on.
I’m really not sure I’m up for this, but I also don’t want to disappoint some little kid. What would Samantha do if she were playing Snow White?
I hold the skirt out and curtsy.
Mr. Roy smiles and pats the empty seat next to him. “The group from Shining Star is at the Fun Farm visiting the animals. I’ll bring you over.”
As we drive slowly through the park, I see that the crowd tonight is definitely mostly older kids—all the really little ones must’ve had enough hours ago. As it is, it’s obvious families are calling it a day and are making their way to the exit in droves.
A few people point at me as we drive by. Because of the extra money Mr. Roy is paying me, I smile and wave and do my best Snow White.
He pulls up near a group of kids in bright blue Shining Star Camp shirts. They’re gathered around an Asian woman dressed as Mother Goose, and I wonder how Henrietta Stupin’s broken hip is.
“Everyone,” Mr. Roy says as he parks the cart. “Look who I found roaming in the Haunted Forest.”
One little girl with dark hair runs to me. “Snow White!” she says. “Mr. Roy said you’d come.”
“Hi, Lucy,” I say.
She gapes at me. “How’d you know my name?”
I look at Lucy and take in the circles under her eyes. Be Snow White, I think, channel Samantha. “A little birdie told me.”
She smiles widely. “Do you want to see the bunnies?”
I nod and take Lucy’s hand, the back of which is sporting a yellowish brown bruise just like my Dad’s used to from where the nurses inserted IVs.
I bite my lip. Keep it together, Megan!
I walk her over to the rabbit pen and kneel down.
“That white one with the pink eyes is my favorite,” Lucy says.
“He’s a special fellow,” a familiar voice says.
I look up and see Miss Patty.
“Are you having fun, Lucy?” she asks.
Lucy nods and runs back to join her group. “Mr. Roy told me you’re leaving us,” Patty says quietly as I stand up. “Are you sure we can’t convince you to stay?” She points to Lucy, who is hopping around like a rabbit.
“I really just need some time to myself,” I say.
“I understand, and maybe it’s for the best. But if you ever do change your mind, we’ll always have a place for you.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I say politely.
Suddenly a whistle pierces the air. “Yo! Snow White!”
A man is walking my way with four sunburned kids and a harried-looking wife in tow. “Group photo!” he barks.
It’s obvious he’s spent too much time in the Brothers Grimm Tavern, but Miss Patty waves me toward him. “Go on,” she whispers.
I put on my happy smile and bend down toward one of the kids. “I’m Snow White.”
“So?” she asks sullenly.
The father pulls me toward him, and I try to maintain my smile despite wanting to choke on his beer breath.
“Max! Get in the picture.”
Max rolls his eyes and scowls at me. “This is so stupid! Can’t we just go back to the hotel and swim?”
I want to tell Max I think that’s a very good idea, but his dad swats him on the back of the head and then corners a woman walking by and demands she take the picture.
He puts his arm around my waist as his wife herds the kids toward us. “Smile,” she says, even though it looks like her toddler is about to lose it.
I feel the man’s hand sliding down my waist toward my butt and I jump out of his arm, determined not to add being groped to my list of problems. “You know, I think I should stand with Max!”
Max looks horrified, but I put my arm around him and beam for the camera. “Say ‘Land of Enchantment!’”
The family mumbles, “Land of Enchantment,” and I wave to them as I walk off.
“Have an enchanted evening!” I look at my watch. The park closes in thirty minutes. I only agreed to stay long enough to meet Lucy, but Mom went home to rehearse with Fergus until I call her to pick me up. She’s got a competition to practice for and I know how much she hates it when I interrupt her.
I poke my head around until I see the Shining Star group. I guess I can hang out with them until closing—it’s certainly safer than being dragged into another photo op.
Only thirty minutes and I’m done with Land of Enchantment forever!
EIGHTEEN
The park loudspeakers start playing the closing lullaby, and I realize Mr. Roy must’ve recorded Ari singing it. It’s really pretty, but I can’t help thinking Nicki would’ve sounded better—her voice had a strength and clarity that Ari’s doesn’t.
I turn away from Lucy and my shoulders slump. I drop my smile, feeling utterly exhausted from trying to maintain the happy face, and fight back tears. It’s amazing how many little things make me think of Nicki. I still can’t believe she’s gone.
“Good-bye, Lucy, it was very nice meeting you today,” I say, not looking her in the eye.
She hugs me. “Good-bye! Thanks for playing with me!”
“My pleasure,” I call out as the group heads toward the exit.
When the song ends, Mr. Roy’s pre-recorded goodbye message plays for the departing crowd.
“On behalf of our entire Land of Enchantment family, I want to thank you for spending your day with us. May you have a safe journey home. We hope to see you again soon.”
“You won’t be seeing me again,” I whisper as I make my way to the office building to change out of my costume.
“Hey, Megan!”
Casey Winters is running down the path. She stops in front of me, panting. “Miss Patty wants to see you.”
“Oh, I forgot to get my paych
eck.”
“Are you going to the party at Dillon’s house?”
I shake my head. “Not feeling much like partying.”
“Oh yeah, sorry,” she says, avoiding eye contact. “Um, if you change your mind, though, stop by.”
She rushes off and I sigh. I can’t wait to be alone with Luke tonight.
I head into the office building and wind my way through the halls toward Miss Patty’s. I round a corner and freeze.
I hear Nicki singing.
“My cage has many rooms, damask and dark. Nothing there sings, not even my lark.”
My heart pounds as I slowly approach the office, certain I’ll see Nicki’s ghost waiting for me there. I’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing, but if she’s there, maybe she can tell me what happened to her.
“Nicki?” I whisper as I walk through the door, only to find Ari facing the mirror.
She sings another line as she lightly runs the fingers of one hand up and down the gilded frame. “If I cannot fly, let me sing.”
I stare at her, my blood pounding in my ears. “You sound just like …”
She turns to me and gives me a cold smile. “Like Nicki? Do you think they’ll finally give me a solo now? I mean, it’s not an exact copy of her voice, but it’s pretty damn close.”
“What …” is all I can manage, not comprehending what she just said.
“First, why don’t you shut the door,” she says sweetly, but there’s venom in her eyes, and the hair on the back of my neck rises.
Adrenaline pumps through me, and I start backing out of the room. “I think I should go,” I choke out.
Ari rolls her eyes. “Yeah, no,” she says calmly. She opens a drawer in Miss Patty’s desk, pulls out a small gun, and points it at my head. “Shut the door.”
I gape at her. “Is this a joke?”
“No, the joke is I thought you were my friend.” She waves the gun toward the door. “Now, are you going to close the damn thing already?”
Not taking my eyes off Ari, I reach back, feel the knob, and push the door shut. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because a little birdie showed me this.” She moves to the right, and I have a clear view of the mirror.
“Oh, God,” I whisper as Luke and I appear in the glass— in his bed. I stare at the scene playing like a movie. “H-how did you …” I squeeze my eyes shut. “Make it stop!”
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