“I’m fine.” I gave him my practiced reply, but I was far from any sort of stable mental state. “I just . . . well, your hair blew into my face, and it tickled.”
Keeping my hands clasped around him, I rubbed my nose against his tank to facilitate the ruse. It was the wrong thing to do, just as I’d known it would be wrong to get on the motorcycle with him. Diesel’s sultriness and whatever fragrance clung to his clothing, combined with everything else sexy about him, sent my senses into overload.
“I tied it back, but it insists on being free.” When the light changed, he lifted his feet and set us in motion again.
If only I could break free from the darkness that seemed to shadow me like a storm cloud. But how? It seemed like an impossible task.
“It’s okay. I’m just distracted back here, trying not to fall off.” Trying was the hardest step. Getting on the plane and coming here, it counted for something. Didn’t it?
“You won’t fall if you hold on to me, but you don’t have to hold on so tight.”
“Rookie mistake.” I loosened my hands from where they were clasped tightly around his trim waist.
“Keep them there.” His voice rumbled his taut frame as his large hand covered my much smaller one. “I like them there. You just don’t have to cut off my circulation.”
“Got it.”
My stomach tumbled on the rich melodic currents of his voice, and I found myself engaged by him yet again in a way I hadn’t been since my world had crumbled. I knew I’d spent too much time alone, isolated inside my cocoon. The jump start back into the land of the living seemed to have happened abruptly only a few moments earlier when I’d traced my fingertips over Diesel’s satiny-smooth coppery skin and the intriguing wave inked onto it.
Or maybe I’d awoken earlier when my gaze had met his.
“Loosen up and go with the flow, pele. You’ll enjoy your first ride much more if you don’t fear it.”
My cheeks flushed. I took the sexual hint he’d intended, for sure, but I also found a deeper message he likely didn’t intend about relinquishing the stranglehold I had on finding pleasure in life.
As I processed deeper meanings, he slowed his speed, and I realized we were entering Hilo, which I knew from my travelogue was the largest city on the big island and hugged a crescent bay. We rolled along, windswept palm trees and the ocean on one side of us, and wooden storefronts with galleries and restaurants on the other.
The road took us around the outer edge of downtown, then narrowed inside a mostly residential area. The ocean remained a steady presence on the right as we rose in elevation, charming houses surrounded by lanais and tropical colors giving way to an occasional restaurant or aloha-themed shop.
As we slowed past an open-air bar that a painted sign indicated was called Manoa’s Paradise, Diesel lifted his right hand. A man standing in front of the steps with weathered coppery skin and flowing silvery hair lifted his arm in reply and rocked his hand. Diesel returned the gesture my sister would have called devil horns if the setting had been a rock concert. Here, I assumed it had a different meaning, but I didn’t know what.
“Who was that?” I asked after turning my head and noticing the man’s gaze following us with more than casual interest.
“Manoa. He owns Paradise. I was planning to take you there for dinner later so you can meet him.”
“I’m not sure I’m up to that.”
I wasn’t planning to stay long, just long enough to get my head straight. I thought Fanny had explained. I was getting ready to tell Diesel, but a bunch of shrill catcalls distracted me.
I turned my gaze to the shoulder of the road where a bunch of loose-limbed older teenage boys walked single file with surfboards under their arms. They were probably near my age, only I didn’t feel like a teenager anymore.
“Nice nude panties,” the one at the end of the line called out.
I glanced down to see that my dress was no longer tucked around me.
“You told me no one would make a big deal about me in a dress.” I tried to pinch Diesel’s middle, but there wasn’t any extra skin. He was all muscle. But I was too afraid to let go of him to punch his arm like I really wanted to.
“I didn’t say no one would notice.” His tone was teasing. Rather than hurting him, it seemed my irritation amused him. “They would notice you anywhere, no matter what you wore. With a chick like you, guys are always gonna react.”
“A chick like what?” I asked as the road curved, the light over our heads dimming because of a steep embankment on the left that blocked out the sun.
“One with a smoking body that makes your cock hard and a pretty face that makes your mind stupid.”
He turned the motorcycle toward a break in a line of bamboo on our right.
The wheels bumped off the asphalt onto a gravel-covered dirt driveway, and he said, “This is it. Manoa has his paradise. This one is mine.”
As we pulled in front of a small one-story home with a blue roof and an attached carport almost as big as the house, I wasn’t really thinking about the structure. My mind was stuck on his last comment. A typical tell-it-like-it-is Diesel-ism that revealed a stunning truth.
Knowing he thought I was attractive made my lips curve into a secret smile.
Diesel
“Go ahead and climb off, babe.”
“Um, can you walk me through the process?”
“You get off the same way you got on. Foot on the bar, hands on my shoulders.”
Either way, the fuck me torture of that was the same. But at least this time when Hollie’s delicate fingers smoothed over my skin, I was able to brace, knowing the jolt of heat that shot straight to my dick was coming.
“Great job.” I dismounted immediately after her.
“Thanks.” Her gaze dipped as I turned to face her. “Oh. Oh my.”
Her pink tongue swiped across her lush lips.
“You’re so big.” When her gaze lifted, smoke swirled from the sparking embers inside her eyes. “I mean, the island is so big and nice. What I’ve seen so far.”
Definitely, she noticed the monster hard-on inside my board shorts, so I decided to mess with her.
Why? Because it was fun.
“The island, huh?” I stalked toward her, nearly as fascinated with her parted lips as she was with my dick. “What in particular about Hawaii piqued your interest?”
“The ocean, the trees and flowers, the volcano, the tropical heat.”
Hell yeah, there was a lot of heat. But it wasn’t from the volcano or the sun.
“Those things aren’t inside my board shorts.” My lips curved.
Her eyes popped open wide, her cheeks blooming red with I got busted color.
“But you’re welcome to investigate, just to be sure.”
“You’d like that.”
“You’d like it too. I promise you.”
Hollie cocked a hip and arched an auburn brow. “My hands aren’t going anywhere near your island.”
A cute comeback. Really cute.
She might be a novice on the bike, but the girl had definite game.
I cranked up both my brows. “I wasn’t thinking of your hands.”
She might have game, but I had better.
“You . . . you’re . . .” She stammered, obviously flustered. The rosy flush of her skin deepened to I surrender to the master crimson.
“C’mon. Let’s get you inside and situated.”
On the way toward the door, I thought of something and glanced back at her over my shoulder. “Does that small purse of yours really have all you need for a vacation?”
She froze. Her already pale and lightly freckled complexion drained of color. “I had a box of things shipped over.”
“There’s no box here.” I unlocked and held open the door for her. “See for yourself.”
“You’re kidding.” She stepped into the small entryway.
“Nope.” I gestured for her to follow me into the main living area. “Nothing here un
less it’s disguised as an old leather couch or a wobbly kitchen table.”
Looking perplexed, she scanned the open living-dining-kitchen space.
“You sure you don’t have anything in your bag?” I gave her a full-on grin. “No bikini? No change of clothes? Nothing?”
“Fanny was supposed to take care of everything to make it easy for me. It was part of the deal.” Her hands balled into fists, Hollie stomped a flip-flopped foot on the tile. Her agitation jiggled her tits.
My dick jumped, eager like I was to agitate her in a whole different way.
“What kind of deal?” I asked.
“I was a little reluctant to come.”
“You needed a deal sweetener to take a no-expense trip to Hawaii?”
She nodded. Her long ponytail swished forward, dipping into the front of her sundress and entering territory I desperately wanted to explore.
“Afraid you wouldn’t be able to resist me?”
Hollie rolled her eyes, but I noticed the signs as I moved closer. Her pupils dilated. Her nostrils flared. Her breasts rose and fell to accommodate her increased heart rate and rapid breaths.
“My island’s not going to have to work very hard at all.” I circled her, teasing her while enjoying the 360-degree view. “I’ll just have to wait you out till you get tired of wearing the same old clothes and wisely decide to strip down and go naked.”
“Not running around naked.”
“You don’t have to run. You don’t have to do anything.” I stopped in front of her and made my approach nice and smooth to bring our bodies close enough to sense each other’s heat. “Just say I want you to fuck me.”
“Stop it.” She had to tip her head back to look up at me.
“Stop what?”
“Stop messing with me.”
“Once I start, you won’t want me to stop.”
“I’m already messed up.” Her tone took on a brittle seriousness I didn’t like. “So I’ll just decline the offer.”
Hollie averted her gaze and took a step back from me, then two.
“It was really nice of you to invite me. I don’t know why my things aren’t here. But if you’ll point me to where you want me to sleep—that’s not your bed—I’ll call my sister and try to sort everything out.”
“If you were in my bed, you wouldn’t be sleeping.”
“I’m flattered you want to include me in the get naked with Diesel Le fan club, but I’m tired.” The fight draining out of her, Hollie seemed to crumple right before my eyes.
“I can take you back into town.” I gentled my voice. “We have shops here. We don’t have fancy stuff like LA, but you can get some things to tide you over.”
“I don’t need fancy.” Her chin lifted, and I liked the flash of fire in her eyes better than the dullness of a moment before. “Do I look like I’m fancied up now?”
I shook my head. I didn’t know a lot about the finer nuances of women, but I’d learned enough in my failed marriage to know that it was best not to commit verbally to a question that seemed like a setup.
“Right. Well. Thanks for the nod. I think.” She twisted her hands together. “And a chance to get a few things might be good. I appreciate you offering. I had it in my mind that I was going to stay out of your way, get my head together, and try not to be any trouble. But I already blew that strategy. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t know how to react to an apology. My ex only gave me one of those when she wanted something that was going to cost me big. On the other hand, Lalana usually had a calculating glint in her eye, and Hollie didn’t have that. She looked like she was going to cry.
“Hey, it’s not a big deal to go into town. It’s like five minutes away.” I took a step toward her, deciding not to let my former avoidance training guide me. “I was planning to go to Manoa’s for dinner anyway.”
“I’m not up to meeting people tonight.” A crease formed between her brows.
“I get that. It’s a big production to go out when you’re a celebrity.”
“It is.” She exhaled heavily.
“I don’t think it’ll be as bad here as in OB or LA. Locals are chill, and tourists aren’t looking to see a famous actress. They’re too busy looking at the beautiful, big, legendary . . .” I paused for effect. “Island.” I grinned.
“I only used one of those adjectives to describe it.” Her lips twitched, the threat of tears abated, and I felt like I’d performed a miracle.
“Make me a list. I’ll get what you need and grab some to-go food while you stay here, make your phone calls, take a shower, and do whatever you need to do.”
Hollie
Do whatever you need to do.
Diesel’s suggestion was the same as my reason to come to Hawaii, and it rattled around in my head as I paced back and forth in his guest bedroom. Its rattan, botanicals, and peachy-pastel style made me feel like I’d been cast back into the 1970s, which was probably the build date of the ranch-style house.
The decor was stuck in the past, just like I was.
Stopping my pacing as that parallel hit me, I dropped my weary butt down on the bed. I wasn’t up to tackling the broader strokes of knowing exactly what I needed to do with my life yet. Instead, I zeroed in on the much smaller, more achievable task of what to do with the rest of my evening.
I unlocked my cell, scrolled to Fanny’s number, and put the call on speaker.
“Hey,” I said when she answered.
“Hey, Hols. How was your flight?”
“Fine.”
“How long have you been there?” She sounded alert and maybe a bit concerned.
“About an hour, I guess. I’m sorry I forgot to call you as soon as I landed.”
“That’s okay. It’s gorgeous where you are. I’m sure you got distracted.”
“It’s pretty.” Yeah, I’d gotten distracted by something, all right.
Something uniquely handsome. Devilishly sharp-tongued. Unapologetically sexy.
I’d been Diesel Le’d.
I picked at a few loose threads on the faded coverlet and sighed, part in longing, part in exasperation. Sparring with him was exhilarating and exhausting, but I didn’t analyze my opposing feelings toward him too deeply. I was pretty sure my internal struggle was due to my attraction to him, attraction that I would never give in to for all the previous reasons, plus now I had one more.
Swallowing hard, knowing that one reason was always with me and never far from my mind, I placed my hand on my stomach. There was no swell yet—because it was still early, of course, but also because of all the weight I’d lost.
“Ahem.”
Fanny’s voice cut through my reverie, and I could feel the familiar furrow form in my brow as my thoughts returned to the worn-out circuitous groove of my circumstances and what to do about them.
“You went radio silent on me,” she said. “Is it only the scenery that’s got you unfocused, or is it Diesel, the one excuse you gave me for not going away that had any merit?”
“It’s him a little, but he’s just being himself.” Maybe a little nicer. “Typical Diesel. Nothing I can’t handle.”
More than you can wrap your hand around.
That unexpected random thought made me flush. Recalling the length and the thickness of him, I flushed even hotter.
I got up and padded to the window, lifting my face toward the open space but not feeling any movement of air. The outside temperature might be a degree or two cooler than the interior, but no noticeable breeze was able to squeeze through the dense foliage on this side of the house.
“That’s good to hear,” Fanny said softly. “What’s the larger part that you’re not saying?”
“You know that part.”
“I think I do, but why don’t you verbalize it, so I can be sure we’re on the same page.”
Weariness crashed down on me. One life had been taken away from me, and I had a new one that I should be happy about, but I wasn’t sure I was. I hadn’t asked to be pregnant, and I
was completely unprepared to be a mother.
And just like that, I was right back to the quandary of my life and the paralysis because of it that had seized me since Diesel had left. But at least thinking about his departure got me back on track, reminding me why I’d called Fanny in the first place.
“I’m not ready to talk about the baby,” I said carefully. I didn’t want us to be at odds again about Max, Samuel, and everything else.
“You need to be ready. You can’t keep all that stuff in. It helps to talk.” Her voice was sweet and gentle. “I’m a good listener.”
“I know you are, but I just got here. Give me some time to unwind and settle in. To do the things I came for, okay?”
“All right. You sound less stressed already.”
Was I? Maybe. Having absolutely no itinerary besides myself and getting my life reorganized did make me feel slightly better.
“Speaking of getting here, I arrived safely, but my things didn’t. I thought you sent them priority.”
“I didn’t. I delegated that task to Ash. Just a sec.” The sound on her end went a little muffled. “Ash,” she called.
“Yeah, little one,” he replied from a distance.
“You sent that box of Hollie’s things to Diesel’s place, didn’t you?”
“Uh, no. It’s in the back of the Woodie. I thought we were supposed to store them here.”
Mystery solved.
“Sorry, Hols. Miscommunication. I can send them tomorrow.”
“That’s all right. Diesel went into town to grab me some basics.”
His comment about fancy things made me think it might be better that all my designer shoes hadn’t arrived. Plus, what use did I have for a bunch of different handbags to match them? And besides, how could I hold a purse and him on his motorcycle?
“I’ll get by. No worries.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure. Why didn’t you tell me Diesel had a motorcycle?”
“I didn’t think about it.”
“Well, you should have.” I was going to have to get real close and friendly with him every time I wanted to go anywhere. My breasts to his solid back. My legs to his. Clinging to him like a vine with his scent to tantalize me and his heat to fry my brain cells.
Island Side Page 4
