by Hamel, B. B.
We finally get dressed. I walk with him to the door and linger there as he steps outside.
“Tomorrow?” he asks simply.
I nod. “Tomorrow.”
“See you then.”
He turns and heads back to his simple black sedan, his doctor bag slung over his shoulder.
I watch him until he disappears down the road.
I head back inside and check on my mother.
Still asleep. That’s good, at least.
I linger there for a moment, smiling a little to myself. I’m still buzzing, high with the pleasure, high with the orgasm.
Maybe things will be okay. Maybe Westin… maybe we can really do this.
I have to give myself to him. I have to trust him completely and hope that in the end… we work this out.
We make it through.
I head back downstairs to sleep on the couch.
To dream about him taking me… about him making me remember that life can be more than just pain.
14
Westin
The next afternoon, I’m still ringing with her.
I can still feel her tight pussy wrapped around my cock. I’m practically hard all day just thinking about taking her again.
It was so much better than I even could’ve imagined.
She’s intense, fierce, so fucking sexy. The way she moans, the way she moves her hips…
She likes to fuck. Likes it as much as I do.
And god, there’s so much more.
I barely notice Nany come into my office while I’m eating lunch. One second, I’m picturing Bailey’s perfect little ass in the air, her pussy dripping wet and waiting for me to fill it to the brim, and the next, Nany’s standing in my door.
“Shit,” I say, blinking a little.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to surprise you.”
“No, it’s fine. Come in.”
I haven’t talked to her since we made our agreement a couple nights ago. She shuts the door and sits down hesitantly.
“So, about the other night,” she says.
“Look, if you want out, I get it.”
“No. I’m still in.”
I nod slowly. “Okay. I’m happy to hear that.”
“How are you guys doing this, though? I mean, the details?”
I frown a little bit. I’m tempted to not tell her. I can’t think of another way to do this, though.
“We meet in the basement, just above the parking garage. There are a bunch of empty meeting rooms down there.”
“Makes sense,” she says.
“We’re going to scrub one. Clean it, make it as close to a real OR as possible. Then you’ll bring us the equipment… and we’ll help this woman.”
She laughs a little. “You know how crazy this is, right? I mean, seriously.”
“I know,” I say. “But there’s a real life at stake and I’m tired of being fucked by this hospital.” I feel the words in my chest, a rage, an inferno.
She smiles a little. “Yeah, I hear you. Like I said, I’ll help.”
“Good.” I hesitate a second. “We’re meeting tonight. You should come.”
“Yeah? And do what?”
“I don’t know. Give her advice. Help.”
“Maybe.”
“We start around midnight. I’ll text you the room.”
“Yeah, okay.” She hesitates a second. I think she wants to say more, but she just shakes her head. “You’re crazy, Westin. Seriously crazy. But you help people.”
“That’s what I try to do, at least.”
“I know. I wouldn’t be here if you were just in this for the money or some shit.” She stands up. “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I thought about it and I’m still in.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“And I’ll see you tonight, I guess.”
“Good. We’ll see you then.”
She nods then laughs a little. “Insane,” she says, shaking her head, and leaves my office.
Yeah, it’s insane. She’s right about that.
But it’s crazier not to perform this surgery. It’s crazier to let poor Myra suffer so badly that she can’t even take a damn bath.
I want to help people, Nany’s right about that. More specifically, I want to help Myra. I want to help Bailey.
And I’m not backing down.
* * *
“She’ll be here soon.”
I glance at the clock. It’s twelve thirty. We’ve been talking idly for a half hour, trying not to broach the subject of what happened last night.
The sex. The fucking sex.
“I hope so.” Bailey looks annoyed. Her arms are crossed, she’s leaning back in her chair.
She still looks gorgeous. She still looks goddamn tasty.
But she’s right to be mad. Nany is a loose end and I’m still not sure if I can trust her. That moment in my office was a good sign but it’s not everything. I just don’t know.
A few more minute pass before we finally hear a noise in the hall. The door opens tentatively, and Nany sticks her head in. I glance at Bailey and smile a little bit. She glares in response.
“Hello?”
Nany steps into the room.
“Hey,” I say. “Just in time.”
“Oh, great.” She laughs a little. “I got lost. This place is like a damn maze, seriously.”
“Hi,” Bailey says, standing. “Thanks for coming.”
“Oh, yeah, sure. Happy to, uh, help.”
They awkwardly shake hands then Nany looks around the room.
“This is it, huh?”
“Cleanest one,” I say. “No carpet. Should be good.”
“Maybe.” She chews her lip. “A lot of surface.”
“We’ll take the tables and stuff out. Just clean the walls, the floors.”
“Could work.” She shrugs. “Guess we’ll find out.”
Bailey doesn’t seem to like that but she doesn’t say anything.
“Come on, let’s get into it.”
“What does she know?” Nany gives Bailey an appraising look.
Bailey looks annoyed as hell. She clearly doesn’t like this newcomer judging her.
“She’s actually on her way,” I tell Nany. “We went over basic anatomy and she breezed through it. Now we’re going over the basics of the actual procedure.”
“Hm.” Nany cocks her head. “You tell her how to be a nurse?”
“Nope,” I say.
“It’s not hard, is it?” Bailey cuts in. “You hand the doctor stuff. You do what he says. You’re the grunt worker, right?”
I wince a little and give her a warning look. Don’t piss her off.
Nany just laughs though. “Not exactly. I mean, yeah, that’s part of it. But there’s one big thing you need to know.”
“What?” Bailey asks.
Nany looks at me then back at Bailey. “Doctors have egos. You need to both keep it in check and stroke it. Keep him happy, but not thinking he’s some kind of god. Hear me?”
Bailey snorts. “So I’m the doctor’s babysitter.”
“Basically. Don’t let him be stupid.”
I groan. “You really think that’s what you do?”
“Absolutely. You doctors, you all think you know everything. It’s frustrating.”
I want to argue but I shut my mouth. We need her and she knows it, that’s probably why she’s saying whatever she wants right now.
“I get that,” Bailey says softly, grinning.
I look over at her and groan. “Not you, too.”
“She’s right. You have an ego.”
“See what I’m saying?” Nany walks over and sits down with Bailey. “They think they’re so smart, with their big fancy degrees, as if some nurse couldn’t pick up a thing or two.”
“Oh my god, you’re so right. You should hear the way he lectures me!”
I stare in horror as the two women bond over thinking I’m a total asshole.
Whatever. I sit down, cross my legs, and let them talk.
They can talk all the shit they want, and it’s better if they bond, frankly.
That way Nany is less likely to fuck us.
Although I don’t like the idea of them teaming up against me.
Fucking hell. Those two?
That’s a formidable team.
Doesn’t matter. Let them talk.
I sigh as they chat for a while, laughing and throwing lighthearted insults in my direction. I just smile and take it.
Soon enough though, they’re talking about the procedure itself. Nany gives Bailey some general tips about being a nurse, things like where to stand, what angle to hold suction, how to be everywhere at once, basically.
“And if he snaps at you, let it go,” she says. “Seriously, it’s high stress. I know I joke and give him shit, but what he does is…” She trails off, looking at me.
“Magic?” I offer.
“Something like that,” she admits. “But don’t let it get to your head. You’re also an arrogant fool.”
“But with magic hands.” I waggle my eyebrows.
Bailey groans. “Has he always been like this?”
“Unfortunately, yes,” Nany replies.
“You two are just jealous of my magic hands.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been less jealous of another human being in my entire life,” Nany says, “and that’s seriously something.”
Bailey cracks up and I just sigh, but inwardly I’m smiling.
This is what I want. I need them to bond. Hopefully, if Nany actually likes Bailey, she’s less likely to do something stupid that’ll screw us over.
We spend another hour or so going over the operation. Nany offers advice, little tweaks, little suggestions, but mostly she’s there to make jokes and get Bailey laughing. That’s fine with me, so long as they’re happy and we’re still getting through what we need to get through, it doesn’t matter.
But as I turn to get started on another section, Nany stands suddenly. “Oh, shit,” she says. “It’s late. I have to get going.”
“But we’re not done,” I protest.
“Sorry. I know this sucks, but I can’t help it.” She gives us both a smile, already walking to the door. “I think you’re going to kill it, so don’t worry. You’re picking it up fast.”
Without another word, she’s gone.
I’m left alone in the room with Bailey again. She’s sitting there with her legs crossed, frowning at the door.
“That was abrupt,” she says.
“I know.” I sit down across from her. “What do you think?”
“I like her.” Bailey grins at me. “She loves pissing you off.”
“Tries to, anyway.” I smile back. “I’m just glad you two are bonding.”
“Even if it’s over how arrogant you are?”
“Even if that’s over that. And my magic hands.”
She sighs but she’s still smiling and I know she likes it.
“Fact is, we have no other choice,” she says to me, looking at the door again. Her smile slowly fades away. “I don’t know, honestly. She’s nice… she’s smart. It’s helpful having her around. But the way she came and went and… I don’t know.”
“You have a bad feeling about her.”
“I do.” She frowns at me. “Isn’t it weird? I like her but I have a bad feeling anyway.”
“It’s not weird. This whole thing is strange and I’m not really surprised you’re on edge.”
“It’s more than being on edge. It’s like… she’s only half here. She’s just smiling and laughing but she’s not really here. You know what I mean?”
I frown at her, head cocked a little.
Because I do know what she means. Now that she pointed it out, I can completely see it. Nany wasn’t herself tonight, not really. She was joking and laughing and making fun of me, but Nany isn’t like that at work.
And this is still work, even if it’s not official.
So why does that bother me so much?
Either way, it’s impressive that she picked up on it. Bailey’s perceptive, shockingly perceptive. I don’t realize it all the time, but then she says something like that, and it hits me all over again. She knows what she’s seeing and she can interpret it faster than even I can.
I’d better listen. But that doesn’t give me a good feeling.
“Let’s go out to dinner,” I say suddenly.
“Now? We still have to work.”
“Tomorrow night. Another break.”
She chews her lip. “Can we really afford a break?”
“I don’t know, honestly,” I admit. “But we’re both on edge. So why not get a meal together? We can still work during it if you really want.”
“I don’t really want any of this,” she says with a sigh. “But fine. We can get dinner if you really want.”
“Thanks so much,” I say, grinning. “It really is a sacrifice, isn’t it?”
She lets out a long, labored sigh. “The lengths I’m willing to go for my mother.”
I grin at her and get up, stretching. “Okay. Ready to work again?”
“I guess so.”
“Come on, it’ll be fun. You can strip again, if you want.”
She glares at me. “That was a one-time thing.”
“I bet.” I head over to the whiteboard. “Ready?”
“Always.”
And we get back to work, although I think we both have Nany in the back of our heads. I can’t let it slow things down though, can’t let it stop us.
We’re moving closer and closer to this surgery, one way or another.
15
Bailey
I spend the early evening before Westin comes agonizing over my clothes and makeup again.
I know I probably shouldn’t. I mean, he’s going to notice that I’m going to lengths. I still can’t help it. I want to look good for him. I want him to look at me and think about all the dirty thing he can do to my body.
I want him hungry, excited.
Shivers run down my spine when I think about his hands on my body. I can’t help myself. I feel like I’m a little mad, a little crazy, but in a good way.
This is all moving so fast. There’s a third person involved now, and neither of us really trust her, but it doesn’t matter. I’m starting to feel more and more comfortable about assisting. I’m learning a lot and learning it fast, mostly because I have no other choice.
My days are spent thinking about the material, my nights spent cramming more into my skull. I’m so full, I feel like I might burst.
Maybe this really is a good idea. I smile to myself in the mirror, head cocked a little. My hair’s down and actually looking good for once. My makeup’s simple, understated. And I’m wearing a pair of tight black jeans, black ankle boots, and a V-neck sweater that shows off just the slightest hint of cleavage.
“Not bad,” I mutter to myself with a smile.
He picks me up not long later. I climb into his car and he gives me a long look.
“Not bad,” he grins at me.
“That’s what I said!” I reply, laughing.
He pulls out into traffic and we fall into an easy conversation about nothing. It’s strange how comfortable we’ve gotten around each other. I guess that happens after what we’ve done… how we’ve been together.
And how much time we spend just being alone in that basement with each other.
“I love this place,” he says, parking not too long later, squeezing into a spot I could’ve sworn would never fit him. “It’s awesome. You’re going to fall in love.”
“What is it?” I ask, getting out.
“Italian. But not that new fancy shit. It’s the old-school fancy shit.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Tablecloths. And old Italian ladies in the back instead of bearded hipsters.”
“Sounds like heaven.”
“Oh, it is.” He puts his arm around me and we walk up onto the sidewalk, heading toward a restaurant with a white, red, and green
awning.
For a second, as we pass other people going about their business, I feel normal.
I mean, I am a normal person. Aside from this stuff with my mom, I’m a pretty normal girl. I don’t have anything special about me. I don’t draw well, I don’t dance or sing, I can’t do math in my head, I can’t jump huge distances, I can’t fly (yet). I’m just a normal girl that’s dedicated to saving her mom’s life.
But the way we’ve been sneaking around, planning this strange surgery, I’ve been feeling anything but normal. I’ve been feeling insane, really. It’s hard to really overstate just how far outside of my comfort zone we’ve gotten.
And yet I’ve just accepted it. I mean, we’re doing this thing, so I might as well go along. I can just pretend it’s all fine, that people do things like this. We’re not the first people in the world to try something so crazy and desperate.
Right now, right here, none of that matters. With his arm around my shoulder, I feel like we’re just a regular… couple. Like he’s my boyfriend.
That’s a dangerous feeling to have.
I can’t get attached to him. I can’t let myself start to think of him as anything more than the man I’m working with. He’s my mother’s doctor. He’s the one that’s going to save her life, sooner or later. He’s not my boyfriend.
He’ll own my body, but he won’t be my boyfriend.
I snuggle up against him as we walk, just for a second, unable to help myself. I savor the feeling, the normalcy, the totally mundane nature of the gesture.
Then we reach the door and step inside, and I force myself to forget about it.
We get seated toward the back of the restaurant. He’s right and I can see instantly why he likes this place. It’s old-school with tablecloths and cloth napkins, but it has a very homey feel to the place. It’s dark, dimly lit by candles, with lots of other couples all around, eating and laughing and smiling.
And yes, oh, yes, I spot at least one older-looking Italian woman standing in the kitchen, brandishing a wooden spoon. Just a glimpse of her, but she’s there.
“What do you think?” Westin asks me once the waitress leaves with our drink orders. “Amazing, right?”
“Okay, it’s pretty good.”
