by Paige Toon
I flashback to the first time I was here . . . The enormous front door swung open to reveal a short, plump, pleasantly smiling Hispanic-looking woman. Rosa. It’s not going to be the same here without her.
Davey takes me to the front door with our suitcases and presses the buzzer. As butterflies swarm around my stomach I realise I feel almost as nervous as I did three years ago. Who’s going to open the door? The new cook? Lena? Dana? I hope not Dana – I’m not ready for that yet. I jig Barney up and down in my arms and try to channel my nerves into excitement. It doesn’t work.
There’s a click behind the door and it starts to open. I’m holding my breath, and then suddenly I’m face to face with Johnny and my face breaks into a smile.
‘Hey!’ he exclaims, patting me with affection on my back and then opening his arms to Barney. I pass him over, stupidly delighted that he’s here to welcome us. I feel like I need familiar right now. ‘You can put those up in her room,’ Johnny says to Davey, leading the way inside. He’s wearing a long-sleeved white shirt with dark-grey Bermuda shorts and bare feet.
I follow him into the living room and halt in my tracks, even though I’ve seen this view hundreds of times. Floor-to-ceiling windows look out onto the city of LA in the distance, and before that is a beautiful infinity pool, far more spectacular than the one in Barcelona with Bess.
Aah, Bess. She went nuts when I told her. We spoke on the phone last week . . .
‘How are you?’
‘Pretty damn good,’ I replied with a smile.
‘What’s happened?’ she asked drily.
‘Johnny’s asked us to go to LA with him.’
‘WHAT?’
‘Not like that, you ninny,’ I said flippantly. ‘As friends. As the mother of his child. He wants to spend more time with Barney and I just thought, why the hell not?’
‘I’ll tell you why not.’ She cut straight to the chase. ‘Because you fell madly in love with him and went to hell and back!’
‘That’s not going to happen again,’ I said patiently.
‘How on earth would you know?’ she exclaimed.
‘Because I’m different now. I won’t let myself get into a situation like that ever again.’
‘It’s not up to you!’ she squawked. ‘It’s up to your bloody heart! That’s the problem.’
Anyway . . . She’ll get over it.
‘Where’s Dana?’ I ask.
‘She’s coming over this afty. Giving you time to settle in before she descends.’ He winks at me.
I force a smile. ‘How is she?’
‘Fine,’ he says with a shrug.
‘Did she relapse?’
‘Nah.’ He shakes his head. ‘Relax, babe,’ he says annoyingly.
‘Don’t call me babe.’
‘Don’t call me babe, don’t call me Nutmeg . . .’ he teases in a sing-song voice. ‘Jesus, what can I call you?’
‘Meg would be a good start. Mummy will also do.’ I try to keep a straight face as I look at Barney in his arms.
‘Hello!’
At the sound of a voice, I turn around to see a tall, tanned woman with dark blonde hair coming into the living room from the direction of the office.
‘Aah, Lena,’ Johnny says. ‘Come and meet Meg.’
‘We meet at last,’ she says with a smile, walking towards me with her hand extended. She has an accent. I think I remember Christian once saying she was from Holland.
‘Hi!’ I falter before smiling back and shaking her hand. She’s unnervingly stunning. Her eyes are green, almost as green as Johnny’s, and her hair is straight and falls to just below her chin. She’s taller than me – I would guess five foot nine without her heels on – and she looks like she’s in her late twenties, early thirties. She actually resembles Johnny in an uncanny way – she could almost be his sister.
‘I can’t believe you’re finally here!’ She smiles warmly and folds her arms in front of herself, casually rocking back on her heels.
‘Neither can I,’ I reply, shifting from foot to foot. She seems nice, even if she is far too beautiful to be human.
‘And you must be Barney!’ She reaches over and pinches one of his chubby cheeks between her thumb and forefinger. He smiles back at her before holding his arms out to me. I take him from Johnny and he nestles into my neck, shyly, before peeking back out at her again.
‘We have lots to talk about,’ she says to me. ‘But right now I imagine you just want to sit down with a – what do they say in England? A cuppa!’
I laugh. ‘Actually, that’d be great. Still no cook?’
‘No. In fact,’ she turns to Johnny, ‘I must talk to you about that.’
‘Later, Lennie,’ he replies.
She crossly wags her finger in his face. ‘I mean it, Johnny, if you keep calling me that I’ll quit.’
‘You won’t quit,’ he replies with amusement.
‘Why are you so sure?’ she snaps.
‘You like me too much.’ He grins and leans against the back of the sofa.
‘Argh!’ she cries with frustration before storming off to the kitchen, which is behind a curved, frosted-glass wall.
I give Johnny an inquisitive look. ‘I thought you told me you didn’t give her a nickname because her husband wouldn’t approve.’
‘I didn’t say husband,’ he replies with a smirk.
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘I’M GAY!’ Lena shouts from the kitchen.
I look at Johnny with widened eyes. ‘Seriously?’ I mouth.
‘I CAN HEAR YOU!’ Lena shouts again.
‘She didn’t say anything!’ Johnny exclaims with mock outrage.
Lena appears at the door of the kitchen with a mug in one hand and a carton of milk in the other.
‘I know what you’re saying,’ she says through narrowed eyes, brandishing the milk at us.
‘Did Johnny know you were gay when he hired you?’ I ask.
Johnny gives me a wry look. Lena smirks. ‘No.’
‘No, I didn’t think so,’ I reply, giggling. Lena’s face breaks into a smile. ‘I like her,’ she says to Johnny.
‘Oi,’ he warns. ‘Don’t get any ideas.’
I grin at Johnny. I thought she was nice before, but on this evidence, I think we could actually become friends.
A few minutes later, Lena returns to the sofas with a tray laden with cups and snacks.
‘These are new.’ I reach back to stroke my hand across the dark-brown leather. Johnny had sofas before, but these are enormous and form a long V-shape facing the windows, so everywhere you sit you’re faced with a view of the city and pool.
‘Barney, come back here,’ I say as he starts to climb along one of them.
‘He’s fine, man, he’s fine,’ Johnny brushes me off.
‘Let me take off his shoes.’
‘He’s fine, Meg,’ Johnny reiterates, helping Barney climb over his lap.
‘Johnny thought this place could do with cosying up,’ Lena says with a knowing look at Barney.
He got these in for our little boy’s benefit? That’s, well, kind of sweet. Didn’t think I’d ever use that word to describe the man.
‘Here, Barney,’ Lena says, getting up and going to a cream-coloured, oversized, golf-ball-type thing. She lifts off the lid and I see that it’s full to the brim of brand-new toys. My mouth drops open as Lena pulls out Buzz Lightyear.
‘To infinity and beyond!’ Buzz shouts. Barney climbs down from the sofa and makes his way towards her with as much enthusiasm as a five-year-old on Christmas morning.
I turn to Johnny. ‘Been shopping?’
He chuckles. ‘Lena.’
She glances my way with a grin.
‘Thank you,’ I say sincerely.
‘It was fun!’ she replies, then her face falls. ‘Hey, I’m sorry we didn’t get the pool done in time.’
‘The pool?’ I look at her with confusion.
‘I mean, the pool gate.’
‘Oh!’
‘Of course! Don’t worry,’ I tell her, feeling bad that the beautiful infinity pool is going to be marred by a ghastly vision of iron bars.
Johnny pulls his phone out of his pocket. It’s vibrating.
‘Hey,’ he says into the receiver, getting to his feet and going to the outside door. He slides it shut behind him. I see him reach back into his pocket for his fags. He lights up while talking to the person on the other end of the line. I have a feeling it’s Dana.
‘Well,’ Lena says, interrupting my thoughts. ‘You don’t need a tour of the house, but do you want to see Barney’s room?’
‘Ooh, yes!’ I gush, jumping up. I try to ease Barney away from Buzz Lightyear, but he’s having none of it, so we bring the Space Ranger with us. I follow Lena up the stairs, giving Johnny a reluctant glance over my shoulder as I go.
Chapter 28
‘Now, you’re still in the white room,’ Lena says, turning right at the top of the stairs.
‘Brilliant!’ I reply.
She smiles at my delight and takes me on a detour to my room first. Aah, my lovely room . . . The windows look out at the autumnal trees at the back of the house, but aside from the suitcases that Davey has put just inside the door, burnt orange is the only colour you can see because the rest of the room is white. I go to look in the en suite, just to remind myself of its beauty. Numerous halogens overhead light up the room to display an enormous spa bath at the back alongside a huge shower, and double basins to my right, all of which are formed out of dazzling white stone. Fluffy white towels adorn the towel rails. I sigh happily.
Lena laughs. ‘Barney’s room?’
‘Go on, then,’ I say grudgingly, tearing myself away.
Barney’s room is next door to mine. The walls have been wallpapered in subtle blue and yellow pinstripe. There’s a cot over by the far wall, and a green grass-like rug underfoot, plus a small table and chairs and enough toys to fill Hamleys spilling out of more of those strange golf-ball-type toy boxes on the floor. A white storage system of drawers, cupboards, wardrobes and shelves stocked with children’s books runs along the left-hand wall. There’s also a door which leads to an enormous en suite.
‘I’m sorry it’s a bit bare,’ Lena says and my eyes open wide in disbelief. She continues, oblivious, ‘I wanted to get some more things in, but Johnny said you’d want to do that. Which reminds me . . .’ She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a folded white envelope. She hands it over. ‘Johnny wants you to have this.’
I open it up, curiously. There’s a credit card inside with my name on it.
‘No limit,’ she says with a grin.
I meet her eyes, taken aback. I open my mouth to speak.
‘Don’t argue,’ she interrupts. ‘Johnny said that you would. But he owes you child maintenance, so, please, don’t think twice about using it for whatever you and Barney need.’ I close my mouth again, feeling distinctly like a goldfish. ‘You’ve also got a Porsche Panamera arriving tomorrow. Again, sorry I couldn’t get it here in time.’
‘Please tell me you’re joking.’
‘Can’t fit a car seat in the Bugatti,’ she replies flippantly. ‘Can’t fit them in the McLaren, Gullwing, Ferrari or Carrera, either – although,’ she thinks aloud, ‘it might fit in the front of some of them if it was just you and Barney going out. Maybe I’ll get another car seat just in case. You don’t want to be swapping them over all the time; that would drive you nuts.’
I stare at her, gobsmacked. ‘I’m sorry, but are you actually a real person? You even know the names of his cars.’
She laughs. ‘Katya is into mean machines.’
‘Katya?’
‘My girlfriend.’ She slaps her hand on her forehead. ‘I mean, wife. We got married as soon as it became legal – you know, before it became illegal again.’ She smiles wryly. ‘But I still can’t get my head around the term.’
‘Congratulations,’ I reply with a smile.
‘Thanks.’ She shrugs. ‘Shall we head back downstairs?’
‘Sure.’
I follow her out of Barney’s room and back along the landing towards the stairs. Johnny’s room is at the far end and I remember that it’s massive, spanning from the front to the back of the house so he has trees at one end and a view of the city at the other. His music studio is next to his bedroom, and between that and Barney’s room are three more spare rooms.
‘So where do you stay?’ I ask curiously as we start to walk down the stairs.
‘Not here,’ she replies. ‘Katya would kill me.’
‘I bet she hates it when Johnny goes on tour?’ Where is he, by the way? I can’t see him outside.
‘She comes along.’ Lena flashes me a grin over her shoulder.
‘Really?’ I try to focus on our conversation. ‘What does she do?’
‘She’s a stylist.’
‘She works for Johnny?’
‘On tour, yes. She helps out. Very handy.’
‘I’d like to meet her sometime.’ We reach the living room and I look around distractedly. Where has he gone?
‘Oh, you will,’ Lena replies ominously. ‘She can’t wait to meet Barney. And she’s dying to meet you. The one that got away . . .’
I blush and Lena laughs. ‘Seriously, I’m so glad you’re here,’ she says, and I return those feelings. To think I was worried about her. ‘It’ll be nice to have female company around the joint again. Since Rosa quit . . .’ She sighs.
‘That’s very sad.’
‘You’re telling me. Poor old girl.’
I’d almost forgotten that Johnny overdosed. That night when I found out he was in hospital . . . how I scoured the internet for information about him and Dana . . . It seems like a long time ago.
‘What’s Da—’ I’m about to ask Lena about Dana when Johnny comes out of the office.
‘You wanted to talk to me about the cook?’ Johnny says and I wonder how much of our conversation he heard.
‘Yes,’ Lena replies, unfazed. She walks straight past him into the office. I follow with Barney, for want of anything better to do. Lena goes to what used to be my desk and pulls out a chair. Johnny slumps down in the black Eames chair to her left and edges in closer. It’s what he used to do with me, and suddenly, however much I do like Lena, I feel uncomfortable about being here.
‘These are the ten that I’ve narrowed it down to,’ I hear her say as I quietly step away from the door. I lead Barney back to the toy box in the living room.
‘Meg?’ Johnny calls from the office door a couple of minutes later.
‘Yep?’ I call back.
‘Can you come here?’
Barney seems happy enough playing with the brand-new wooden Brio train set that I’ve just unpacked from its box, so I get up and go to the office, feeling curious.
Johnny is sitting back down in the Eames chair when I arrive at the door. Lena stands up and indicates her – formerly known as my – chair.
‘Would you mind having a look at these?’ Lena asks, putting a pile of what I now see are CVs in front of me. I look up at her in surprise, and then glance at Johnny with confusion.
‘I want your opinion,’ he says, leaning back in his chair.
I check Lena’s expression again, but she doesn’t seem put out. ‘I’ll keep an eye on Barney,’ she says lightly, leaving the room. Still a little taken aback, I lean forward and pick up the first CV.
Out of the corner of my eye I can see Johnny’s foot jigging, but he says nothing, waiting patiently. After a while I relax and concentrate on the job at hand.
‘They’ve all got excellent experience, but I would invite these three in for interview,’ I decide at last, patting the small pile of nominated CVs.
‘Done.’ He gets up and takes them from the desk, then
goes to the door. ‘Lena?’
‘Er, don’t you want to know why?’ I stutter after him.
‘Nope,’ he replies over his shoulder. Lena re-emerges. ‘These three,’ he says, handing them over.
‘Great stuff,’ she replies, giving me a warm smile.
Does she seriously not mind me stepping on her toes? Maybe she’s worked with Johnny long enough to not give a toss. I know myself that any help with getting him to agree to something is appreciated.
‘Meg can sit in on the interviews,’ he says, going to walk out through the door.
‘Er, hello?’ I interrupt. He turns around, frowning. ‘Since when did I go back on your payroll?’ I ask indignantly.
Johnny regards me for a moment, not saying anything, then: ‘Didn’t you get the credit card?’
‘Ha!’ I reply, outraged. ‘If those are your terms and conditions, I don’t want it!’
Lena regards us with wariness, but then Johnny’s face breaks into a smile. ‘I’m joking, Nutmeg. I didn’t think you’d mind doing me a favour. Do you?’ he asks when I don’t immediately reply.
‘No, I suppose not,’ I tell him.
‘Good.’
I look at Lena and purse my lips. She starts to laugh and I find myself doing the same.
Johnny and Barney are nowhere to be seen when I walk out of the office, but I can hear the distant sound of music playing. I follow the sound up the stairs and into Johnny’s studio. Barney is sitting on Johnny’s lap in front of the mixing console, determinedly pressing all the buttons he can reach. I stand at the door and watch them for a moment, smiling. Johnny senses my presence and turns around.
‘Do you think he’s going to be like you?’ I ask.
‘I hope not.’
I smirk. ‘I mean, into music.’
‘That I could handle,’ Johnny replies looking down at his blond-haired boy. ‘You want to play guitar like your old man?’
Barney babbles and flips a switch. The base suddenly sounds really loud.
Johnny chuckles and flips the switch back again.
‘Are you alright with him for a little while?’ I ask.
‘Of course.’
‘I might go and unpack.’
‘Sandy can do it, if you want? She’ll be here soon.’ Sandy’s the maid.
