“And you won’t bring up Dylan?” It almost seemed too good to be true.
“I promise.” She gave me some Girl Scout salute that would have meant more if she’d ever been one. Not that it mattered, because I knew my sister and the likelihood of her keeping that promise was slim to none.
That night I agreed to go to the movies with Phoebe and her friends. I would have caught a ride with her to the theater, but she wanted some time with Nathan, and despite their obvious lack of respect for the boundaries of PDA, I had no inclination to watch from the back seat. So with my newly returned license and car keys I was driving myself.
And Micah.
Somehow I’d been elected to pick up him. Something I’m sure Phoebe had managed to arrange.
When I got there, Hannah was riding his hip as he struggled to open the door and hold his phone. “Hey, I was just trying to call you. I’m not gonna be able to go. Mom got called into work for some meeting, so I have to stay with Hannah.”
“Oh. Do you-”
“Do you-”
We smiled as we spoke at the same time. Micah hitched Hannah up higher. “Do you want to stick around? We could watch something here.”
“Yeah, okay. Sure.” How could I feel any more awkward? I missed spending time with him, even if it was nearly impossible to predict what would happen.
I followed him into the living room and we settled down on the couch, watching a random show. We didn’t talk and, apart from the television, the only sounds in the room came from Hannah who was lying on her back swatting at a bright yellow fly that dangled above her.
At some point, Micah put Hannah to bed and when he came back, he sat close enough that his arm bushed mine. The heat of his body warmed my own in a completely different way than I was used to. There was no discomfort, no driving need to heal him. Instead, it caused my skin to tingle and I shoved my hands under my thighs just to stop myself from reaching out to feel his skin under mine. Hannah was usually a buffer between us, one I had never thought we needed, but sitting so close to him, I suddenly realized how much I relied on her.
This was stupid. Why would I need to rely on a baby to keep myself under control? Micah and I were just friends. I didn’t need a buffer with Owen or Nathan. Just because Micah was a lot hotter and had a sexy, I-don’t-care attitude going on, it didn’t mean I wanted to kiss him.
But I did want to. And it was for more than the way his short hair spiked up in a perfect, bedhead way, or the half smile he always gave because he never found anything other than Hannah worth the extra effort of tilting up both sides. It was because he made me feel something other than numb. Around him, I felt like I might actually be living, and not just surviving. It was because with Micah I didn’t think about Dylan.
I pulled my hands out from under my legs and fiddled with my hair, sweeping it back into a loose bun. A few curls popped out, but frizz was nothing new to me. I’d learned when I was eight that there was little I could do with it and cutting those stray pieces only brought out more. Even worse was when they grew out and formed a poufy clown effect.
My eyes focused on the television screen, but without my hair to shield my side view, every move Micah made was visible and caused my body to tense in awareness. Blood rushed to my face as wild images of him started to flood my mind. Hot and sweaty dominated them. I slumped down and lifted a hand to pull the bun loose, hoping to hide behind my curtain of curls.
The sudden touch of Micah’s fingers caused me to jerk upright. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and I looked over at him wondering what he was thinking.
“Sometimes I think you hide behind your hair,” he said and the half smile appeared. “It always makes me wonder if you’re thinking dirty thoughts.”
“What?” I said and my face immediately flushed. The word had come out with such horror that it practically screamed he was right. The full on laugh he gave just made my blush worse.
“Wow, Lily has dirty thoughts. I thought you were the innocent Matlin sister. Maybe Phoebe underestimated you.”
He and Phoebe had been talking about me. It didn’t surprise me that Phoebe had been talking about me behind my back, but why would Micah?
“So what are you thinking about?” he asked. I didn’t say anything, knowing my face was already as bright as it could possibly get. “Oh, this has got to be good if you’re blushing this much. Come on, what were you thinking?”
“Nothing.”
He moved in closer, pushing more of my hair aside and getting his face right up to mine.
“You can’t hide from me. You should know by now I never let things go.” He was smiling completely now. “Who is it? That Tatum actor? Ryan Gosling? Maybe you’re thinking old school Brad Pitt?”
I finally met his eyes and just stared at them. They were mesmerizing with the small flecks of brown near the center where green flared out. How could I admit to my best friend that I had been thinking about him? Especially when he didn’t see me that way? I didn’t have to worry about what I would say, because apparently my staring and silence did it for me. His smile faded as we both sat there, our faces only inches apart. Neither of us moved. I didn’t have the guts to lean forward. It would risk too much, because what if he moved away? Then I would be the idiot who made a move on her best friend and got shut down.
I curled my fingers into fists and finally looked away from Micah.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have teased you.” He reached out and laid his hand over one of mine. Heat burst through my hand and I was sucked into a suddenly vast pit of black nothingness. Only a lingering sense of loneliness that I felt so deeply I knew it was my own.
When my eyes opened, I was on the couch and Micah was sitting on the floor beside me, his knees drawn up and his head resting on his arms as he watched me.
I slowly sat up, rubbing my hands across my face. “How long was I out?”
“Maybe a minute.”
I was tired, though not exhausted and I wondered if by passing out my body or at least my mind had been spared the draining effects of the transfer.
My pocket vibrated, and I pulled out my cell phone. Phoebe was calling, and I was suddenly reminded that Micah and I were supposed to be meeting everyone at the movie theater.
“Hey,” I said as I answered the call. Micah got up and went into the kitchen.
“Where are you? The movie’s like already half over and I’m missing it because I don’t want to turn my phone off until I know you’re okay. So what’s the hold up?” she demanded, a hint of worry in her voice. She never would have called me like that if she knew I could feel it just from the sound of her voice.
“I’m still at Micah’s.”
“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
My hand clenched the phone so hard I thought I’d end up breaking it. Damn it. I was really starting to hate her gift. I tried to figure out a way around her question that didn’t involve an attempt to lie.
“I’m fine.” True enough. “Micah can’t leave yet, so I was just waiting with him. Go on in and I’ll meet you inside.”
“Lils, you didn’t answer my question. What happened?”
“I’ll see you soon,” I said and pressed the end button. With the call disconnected, I powered the phone off, knowing beyond any doubt that she would call me right back. Repeatedly.
“You can go. You don’t have to hang around here,” Micah said as he came back into the living room and held out a glass of water to me.
I took the glass and tried to think of a valid reason to stay, or at least one that didn’t involve jumping up and kissing him until I got him out of my system, or figuring out why the transfers were different with him. Nothing came to mind and I was about to say I would see him tomorrow when the front door opened and his dad walked in.
After explaining about his mom’s meeting, Micah’s dad agreed to watch Hannah so we could catch the movie.
“It’s already started,” I said, not wanting Micah to end up unknowingl
y spending his money on half a movie.
“Maybe we can catch a later show,” Micah said, his eyes making it a question.
“Sure, I mean, I really wanted to see this one.” I tried to remember which one we were supposed to be seeing. Something about aliens. Not really my kind of movie. A fact Micah obviously knew since he chuckled at my words.
“Uh huh. Sure. Come on,” he said, his lips curled into a smile.
I smiled back and for the first time in months, it didn’t feel forced.
Chapter 9
I stared up at the old-fashioned marquee seeing Dylan wobbling on a ladder, fumbling around the first time he changed it. He’d volunteered for the job, not knowing the long arm they normally used was broken and he was going to have to do it old school. Going up he’d been joking around, while I’d watched terrified by the height he climbed to. Once he was at the top, though, I’d felt his unease and I’d gripped the edges of the ladder, wishing my gift would travel like an electric current up to him.
“You sure you want to go in?” Micah asked, breaking into my memories. “We don’t have to see a movie.”
“No, I’m okay. I want to see this. Really.” It was easier lying when Phoebe wasn’t around.
Micah paid for the tickets, and I followed him in, belatedly realizing I should have bought my own. When he asked if I wanted a drink or popcorn, I said no, not wanting him to think he had to buy that for me as well. It wasn’t as if we were on a date.
He decided to get a drink and I stood beside him, glancing around the concession. It had changed since I’d last been there. I didn’t recognize the girl who helped Micah or any of the other workers either, and they had a new popcorn machine. The employee of the year was different, too. Dylan’s smiling face stared out at me. They must have done that after he’d died. What was the point? These people, who were supposed to look to him as a model of work ethic, didn’t even know him. Except maybe as the kid who killed himself.
“Ready?” Micah asked, holding up his drink to show he was done.
“Very.” I wanted to get as far from Dylan’s fixed gaze as possible.
We ended up sitting on a bench while we waited for the earlier movie to end and then clear out for the late showing. There was no conversation between us. I wanted to know more about what he’d been feeling, what had made him suddenly release all of his emotions, but I didn’t want to pry and Micah probably thought I was going to flip over being in Dylan’s theater. Maybe I should. It seemed strange going in there, knowing he wasn’t around the corner. I’d only ever gone to the movies with him or because I knew he’d be working and I would get to see him. Now he’d never see another. He’d never do a lot of things I would and I knew there were some people, including a group of girls glaring at me from the arcade, who thought I should never do those things either.
But I wasn’t dead. It could have been easy for me to end it so many times, yet I hadn’t. I’d fought through it and found the strength to keep going. Dylan hadn’t and even though I’d spent a lot of time pretending he might get to, I wasn’t anymore.
When the first showing let out, Phoebe spotted us and made a move toward us, before she swerved away and broke out in a huge grin, wriggling her eyebrows at me. My face flamed and I wanted to throw something at her, but the only thing within reach was Micah’s soda. I would never have a serious conversation with her again.
Nathan apparently wasn’t following Phoebe’s lead and came right to us.
“Hey, man.” He and Micah did some kind of sideways hand grip. They seemed an odd pair of friends. Nathan was definitely a surfer beach bum kind of guy, while Micah had the tough guy look going on. When Owen was there, they were an even stranger looking bunch. I could never understand what the three of them had to talk about. I tried to listen, but it tended to get lost in the fuzzy maze I’d been living in.
“How was the movie?” Micah asked.
“It was awesome. Man, the frigging things looked so real.” He launched into some graphic details, with Phoebe adding in her comparisons to her favorite horror topic, zombies.
“Where’s everyone else?” I asked Phoebe when there was a brief pause in the conversation.
“Tonya and Karin stopped at the restroom. I’m hoping they both come out alive. Karin wouldn’t stop making comments during the movie and Tonya looked about ready to jump her before it was even half over.”
“What about Owen?”
Nathan laughed and said, “He wimped out after the first alien attack.”
Phoebe smacked his arm. “He got a call on his cell and unlike some people,” she glared at him, “he didn’t want to answer it inside the theater.”
“Hey, it was the Sheriff. I could be arrested for evading the police if I don’t answer it.” He looped an arm over her shoulder and ignored her rolling eyes. “You guys gonna see it?”
“Yeah. We got here too late for the first show, so we figured we’d wait.” Micah leaned forward, putting a bit of distance between us. It was subtle, but it felt like he was trying to show them that even though we were together, we weren’t together.
Karin and Tonya came storming into the lobby and Phoebe groaned at the sight. They’d made it out alive, but clearly, they’d had an altercation. Knowing how dirty Tonya fought, I figured she’d won, even though she looked just as pissed.
“What happened to Owen?” Karin snapped at Nathan.
“I don’t know. He bailed, I guess.” Nathan’s eyes grew wide as Karin’s wrath filled gaze fell directly on him. “I’m not his mommy.”
“Great. I’m supposed to drive him home. Well, I’m leaving. Apparently I offend certain people here and I can tell when I’m not wanted.” She spun around and marched to the exit.
Phoebe leapt for Tonya and wrapped a hand around her to cover Tonya’s mouth before she could send a snide comment after Karin, not letting go until Karin was halfway through the parking lot.
“You’re no fun anymore.” Tonya glared at Phoebe. Tonya wasn’t my favorite person, but she was funny. “Come on, let’s go pick up Owen.”
“Pick up Owen?” Nathan asked.
“Yeah, he texted me that he was going to Starbucks. The movie was giving him a headache.”
“I didn’t get a text,” Phoebe said, checking her cell phone.
“Probably because you’re texting impaired.”
When the three of them had gone, I was left wishing I had that easy kind of friendship with them, but I was so used to having only Dylan to rely on. Even after he had started to fall apart, I’d kept it just the two of us. The harder it became with Dylan, the more I’d tried to break away. I’d tried to befriend Owen, but it still felt like he was Phoebe’s friend first. Maybe that’s why it was easier with Micah. He’d had nobody else either.
“Coming?” Micah was standing, waiting for me to get up.
“Yeah.” I stood and walked with him to the ticket line.
“So, why doesn’t Chloe ever hang out with us?” he asked as we shuffled along in the line.
“She and Phoebe aren’t really compatible. It’s better that they deal with each other in small doses.”
“She seems to get along with pretty much everybody.”
“Everyone except Phoebe and Tonya. Chloe can be a bit bossy and they both stand up to her.”
“And you don’t?” He asked it in a neutral tone, but I felt the sting of it. That had been one of the things he’d accused me of when we first started our project together.
“I can stand up to her if I need to.” It sounded lame even to me, but what other defense could I use? Unless someone had experienced my gift first hand, they could never understand what I did to prevent people from getting upset.
“So she just hangs out with her friends and boyfriend?”
“Yeah, well, she was dating Andrew,” I said and gestured to the guy ripping tickets at the front of the line. “But they never really stay together long. The last time was only because Chloe didn’t want to go solo to prom. I think they�
�re going to Homecoming together, but you never really know with Chloe.”
Andrew took our tickets from Micah, ripped them, and gave one half back. Andrew smiled at me, and I tried to return it. He and Dylan had been friends, especially back in middle school. He’d actually been on the first date Dylan and I had gone on in this very cinema.
“You got a problem with this theater or something?” Micah asked as we went into the seating area.
“Why would you think that?”
“You’ve either been staring off into space, or glaring at the staff since we got here. Andrew was the first person you even cracked a smile for.”
I thought carefully about how I would respond. I hated lying, even if I’d always done it to shield others from the consequences of my gift. I didn’t want to lie to Micah.
“There are a lot of memories here for me.”
“Of Dylan?”
“He was an assistant manager here. This is where we had our first date. It’s hard to see how things are changing without him. It’s like they’re moving on and forgetting about him.”
“Everyone has to move on at some point, right?”
“I guess. I just don’t feel like I’m ready for them to.”
There was a lull on our conversation as we found a pair of seats in the middle of the back row and settled in. People gradually filed in, although with it not being a new release it was barely a quarter filled. I shifted in my seat, wishing the movie would start and distract me. The memories of Dylan had made it hard to stay aware of the present, but sitting next to Micah, only inches away, was suddenly even harder.
Friends. Friends. I repeated the word over and over. I even tried to bring back the horrible things he’d said to me when we first met. It didn’t help. He was warm and smelled amazing. All I could do was remember how his lips had felt against mine the one time we’d kissed.
With the lights down, all my other senses seemed tuned into him. Every time he moved, I felt it. My skin tingled in a glorious way that had nothing to do with my gift.
Heal Me (A Touched Trilogy Book 2) Page 11
