by Rye Brewer
Fane’s jaw worked in agitation.
I had noticed Jonah’s tendency to do that when he was good and frustrated, usually with me, in fact. A family trait.
“And I’ve told you how it rankles me to rely on you two for everything,” Fane grumbled.
“You can’t risk being seen,” I reminded him, albeit gently, from the corner of the living room. Little Elena was in my arms—we had talked about calling her Lena, a way to separate her from Jonah’s mother while continuing to honor her namesake. It didn’t stick. For some reason, we kept reverting to Elena. Even Sirene, who didn’t seem to have an issue with it at all.
As always, she was an angel. I knew babies were not really supposed to be able to smile while a newborn, that anything resembling a smile was really just the passage of gas or some such thing, but she still seemed like the happiest, most content baby I’d ever seen.
“Don’t you think I know that?” Fane demanded, holding himself back from exploding when he glanced at the baby in my arms. She might have been a good, even-tempered baby, but she would sure let out a cry when something startled her.
None of us wanted that to happen, needless to say.
“Well, then?” Jonah prodded. “Why take the risk? Why not simply relax here while you can? I should think that after so many decades spent traveling the world over, you would welcome the chance to rest and spend time with your family.”
A family which now included a witch and a new baby.
Jonah’s nostrils flared when he mentioned family, showing me how far he had come in a short time. Instead of sounding bitter, instead of spitting out his words when he spoke of Sirene and Elena, he managed to sound almost calm.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was progress.
Fane did not have an answer, at least not immediately. I looked to Jonah and wished he might be able to read my thoughts. Because I understood Fane’s problem, evidently better than his son did.
He was simply unaccustomed to sitting back and allowing things to happen to him. To be done for him. He wasn’t tired of the endless go-go-go. On the contrary, it had become part of him. With nothing to do, he was little more than a caged animal.
There was only one way to frame the dilemma that he would understand, and it wasn’t by berating him as Jonah was so skilled at doing.
“It’s for her sake.” I nodded to the baby in my arms. She was sleeping, completely unaware of everything going on around her. I wondered sometimes what she dreamed about, or if she dreamed at all. What happened to babies while they slept?
These were questions which had never occurred to me before. When Sara was born, I was too young to care about anything but whether I would still be loved by our mother, since the new baby took up everybody’s time and attention and I had all but faded into the background.
Fane’s shoulders fell a little, some of the fight easing from him. “Yes. I know it is.”
“Not only that,” Jonah added, “but what would happen if any of the clan saw you? What if they found out you’re alive?”
“I know. I know.” Fane shrugged. “I simply can’t stay here, with nothing to do, without feeling a bit… uneasy. I’m not accustomed to a quiet life.”
“Quiet?” I nodded to Elena again, and the three of us chuckled as gently as we could.
He went to his room then, to visit with Sirene. Branwen was in there with her, as was usually the case it seemed.
And that was another problem Jonah had been smart enough to avoid mentioning, two witches, living in the Bourke high-rise. Nobody could know they were there, since the relationship between vampires and witches was as rancorous as ever. Just because Jonah was beginning to come around didn’t mean the rest of the clan was, or even knew there was reason to.
Not two witches, I reminded myself as I watched Fane retreat down the hall until he blended in with the shadows. Three. He was a warlock now. Yet another reason to keep his presence a secret. What would the clan think of their leader—who was supposed to be dead—becoming a warlock?
Elena stirred slightly, staying fast asleep. You keep sleeping, baby. Sometimes I wish I were in your place, where things are simpler.
Jonah let out a sigh as he came to me, touching his lips to my forehead before smiling down at his baby sister. He was really coming around in all ways. I suspected it had something to do with fighting to keep her and Sirene alive through the delivery.
There was an attachment to her. He had a stake in her life.
“That didn’t go well,” he whispered, nodding to where Fane had disappeared down the hall.
“Better than it would have not long ago,” I reminded him. “The two of you would’ve been at each other’s throats. He’ll come around. He isn’t used to being taken care of by anyone else, and he doesn’t like staying in one place for very long.”
That may not have been the smartest thing to say.
His jaw tightened, his nostrils flared. “Yes. I know all too well about that.”
“He didn’t want to stay away from you. He was trying to protect you.”
Jonah glanced down at Elena, running a gentle hand over her dark brown with hints of red peach fuzz—the color so similar to his. “I don’t like to think of her growing up not knowing where her father is. She deserves to live a normal life.”
The affection toward her warmed my heart. “What’s a normal life?” I asked with a soft giggle. “It could be that there’s no such thing.”
“Even so.” He went silent, and I let the subject drop. No sense in retreading over the same topics again and again.
Elena opened her eyes, blinking slowly. Her body stretched a little, as though she was rousing herself from sleep. I couldn’t help but beam down at her.
“She’s really a little person,” I marveled. “Stretching and yawning, wondering what everybody’s so uptight about.”
“Lucky her for not knowing.” Jonah grinned, echoing my thoughts from minutes earlier.
We sat on the couch with Elena stretched out across our laps, and she looked at the two of us with her usual grave, peaceful expression.
Jonah stroked her palm with a forefinger which she latched on to. “Quite a grip.” He smiled.
I smiled, too. But mine was somewhat bittersweet.
I thought about my mother.
It seemed like everything brought her to mind. The simplest things, the most mundane. I wondered what she would think if she saw me helping to care for a baby, and could easily imagine her giving me the eye. The when will I be a grandmother eye.
Not that I would know what to answer. Not because I wouldn’t want children, or because I’d be afraid to ask Jonah about it. I already knew family was important to him. Family was central to his life. It stood to reason he would want one of his own, someday.
Would I be able to bear children? That was the question. I was a hybrid. There weren’t exactly books on the market relating to my particular set of circumstances. A fae/vampire half-breed bearing the child of a vampire. I doubted there was much readership on that topic.
Jonah would make a wonderful father if and when the time came. He would protect his children to his last breath. And he would want to be present in their lives, since Fane had been absent from his for so long. While he understood the reasons behind that absence—no matter how much it irked him, he knew Fane was only doing his best to protect his family—it still bothered him. Anyone could see it.
He glanced at me, smiling. “What’s wrong? You look troubled.”
“I suppose I am, a little.”
“What’s the matter?”
This wasn’t how I’d planned to broach the subject, but there would never be a better time. We needed to have it out. “I’ve been thinking about the wedding.”
He frowned. “You don’t sound very happy about it.”
I wasn’t, and that was unfair. I wanted to be overjoyed, to immerse myself in the planning, to anticipate it and dream of it and finally celebrate with everyone who’d ever meant anything to me.
Some things were not meant to be.
“It’s… I don’t know if I can do a big wedding. The sort of festivities Felicity described. My heart wouldn’t be all-in with Mom—Tabitha—gone.” Speaking her name made my chest ache.
Jonah took a deep breath. “Are you saying the wedding is off?”
“No, no! I want to marry you, I want to start a life with you. I can hardly wait. Except… not the way we had originally planned. It wouldn’t feel right, celebrating and living it up when we just lost my mother.”
The frown lines on his forehead eased considerably when I confirmed my intentions. I never thought he would assume I didn’t want to get married at all. I would’ve rephrased my statement if I’d thought he would misunderstand me.
“I understand,” he murmured before pulling me close, one arm around my shoulders. “I’m sorry. It seems like we can never catch a break. Just one perfect moment when everything is working, everything is in place, everyone is happy and together.”
“I know.” A tear rolled down my cheek.
I still couldn’t believe my mother was gone, again. There were times when I thought it might have been easier if she had never come back to me at all. I wouldn’t have had to mourn her for a second time.
“We can have our wedding however you want it to be, so long as I get to call you mine,” he whispered. “My wife.”
“I do like the sound of that.” And I had to focus on the positive, on the joyful aspects of my life. That was the only way I would ever be able to move forward and create something good, something real. Something Jonah and I deserved after everything we’d been through.
“How do you want to proceed?” he asked, rubbing my shoulder. “I’ll follow your lead on this.”
And I loved him for that. He knew when to back down and allow me to do what my heart dictated. “I think we first should let Gregor know the plans have changed. He was going to throw us a big bash in Avellane.”
“That’s true. He should be the first to know.”
“I wanted to go to Avellane and check on him anyway,” I added as an afterthought. “This is as good a reason as any. I can only imagine how losing Mom a second time might be affecting him.”
Jonah winced. “I can’t begin to fathom losing you even once, much less twice. I’m very sorry for him. For both of them.” He pressed his lips to the top of my head. “For all of you.”
So was I.
2
Felicity
Escaping from ShadesRealm and stepping through the portal into Avellane marked what was very likely one of the happiest moments of my life. While it did not remove the threat of war with the shades, it did remove the threat of imminent death for me. And that was nearly as good.
And yet, the difference in the air was clear to me from the second I stepped foot inside the realm.
“What happened here?” I whispered as we walked through the city of trees, seeking the one on which Gregor and I both lived.
Allonic felt it, too. “There has been a tragedy. I can feel it.”
“So can I.” I gripped his hand tighter than ever. “What if something happened to him? Oh, no. He’s been so distressed over Tabitha…”
I took off at a run, with Allonic close behind me. I had forgotten already about my troubles, about what I had been through.
None of that seemed very important in the face of what I feared I would find.
I saw no one on the way to Gregor’s chambers, none of the usual smiling faces. None of my friends. Were they in mourning? Or was it worse?
“Gregor?” I gasped upon flinging open the door to his quarters.
He turned away from the fire, where he had leaned one arm against the mantel as he stared into the flames. His frown turned to a look of relief. “Felicity? I’ve been so worried for you.”
“There is going to be a war. I’m so sorry Gregor.” I all but collapsed into tears, with only Allonic’s support keeping me upright. “It’s my fault. Garan took me captive after finding me in Tabitha’s tower.”
To my surprise, Gregor did not appear surprised at this. “I’m aware of what he did to you, and of what he has planned. He made his plans known to me just this morning.”
“What?” Allonic shook with what seemed like rage. “How did he do this?”
Gregor merely motioned for us to follow him to the wide balcony window which looked out onto a clearing behind our tree city. Children normally played there, picked flowers, chased one another when they weren’t chasing butterflies and frogs.
Now, as the three of us gazed on, dead bodies were being arranged in a row.
“Oh, no.” I turned my face to Allonic’s shoulder. I didn’t want to see. I didn’t want to know if one of them was someone I cared deeply about, though I cared for all the fae. They were all my family, and some of them were dead now.
“Six in all,” Gregor murmured, his voice flat. “Several of Garan’s men breached our borders just after dawn and murdered the handful of fae closest to where they’d come through. They left one alive, only one, and passed along the message that Garan intended to stage a full-scale invasion. This was nothing but a warning, and proof of how easy it was for our realm to come under attack. They could have slaughtered far more.”
They’d done enough. Their message had come through. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, shaking with rage and grief, hot tears rolling down my cheeks.
“We will get through this,” Gregor assured us both. “We have come under attack before now. Garan is merely the current threat.”
I wiped my eyes, taking him in for the first time in full light. He was so drained, his complexion wan and his face drawn. “You look terrible—no offense intended.”
“None taken. It’s been a trying time, after all. This morning was merely the latest in a string of difficult occurrences.”
“Gregor?”
The three of us turned at the sound of Anissa’s voice as she and Jonah arrived. Gregor pulled her into a hug while Jonah examined what we had only just seen. Those six bodies. Six bodies belonging to people who had woken up this morning, thinking it was a normal day.
Not knowing it was their last.
I hugged Anissa, too, as did Allonic.
“We came to talk about the wedding and check on Gregor. We had no idea.” She wiped away a tear when she saw the result of what Garan had done.
“I must say, having you here makes this easier,” Gregor said, trying to smile for Anissa’s sake. “At least I know you’re safe. If I couldn’t keep your mother safe, at least I know you are.”
I winced, looking up at Allonic, knowing how he must be suffering at the mention of his mother.
He cleared his throat, the sound like rolling gravel. “Gregor, if you don’t mind, there is something I would like to discuss with you. Something I think everyone ought to hear.”
I took Allonic’s hand. Anything to remind him that he wasn’t alone. That I supported him, no matter what the outcome of his confession.
I had assured him of Anissa and Gregor’s forgiveness and understanding, had I not? I could only hope my assurances had not been made in vain.
“What is it you wish to discuss?” Gregor attempted to rouse himself, to assume the dignity of a king. My heart went out to him, for I knew how he struggled. And I knew the struggle would not lessen once he heard Allonic’s tale.
Allonic cleared his throat, clearly struggling to begin. “I must confess my role in my mother’s death.”
Anissa’s sharp gasp seemed to fill the room. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye, saw Jonah wrap a protective, comforting arm about her. She would need his support.
Gregor swallowed. “Your role?”
“Yes. I had a hand in her death. I would never have wished such a thing, and I could not have foreseen what might come of my actions…” He was beginning to panic already, desperate to defend himself.
I touched his arm. “Tell them what you told me. You could not have known how things would end.”
He nodded, taking a shuddering breath before continuing. “Jonah, it was I who took Vance—Valerius—from the dungeon beneath League headquarters.”
“You?” It was Jonah’s turn to react, his face going red. “To what purpose? Why would you do such a thing?”
“I wished to use Valerius’s power to my own ends,” he confessed. “I wished to use his power to gain control of ShadesRealm. I know it was a selfish, myopic course of action, and I wish for nothing more than the chance to go back and undo what I did.”
“Go on,” Gregor urged. “What happened?”
“I imprisoned him in Tabitha’s tower.”
“Oh, no.” Anissa closed her eyes, causing tears to overflow onto her cheeks.
“I did not know she would go back to ShadesRealm so soon—that she would ever return to ShadesRealm,” he was quick to explain. “I was under the impression she would make her life here, or somewhere outside ShadesRealm. There was no reason for her to ever return. Or, so I thought. Until Felicity informed me she had returned to gather some of her things.”
“And Valerius took advantage,” Jonah muttered.
“Yes. He did. Seems he convinced her that he was Vance, completely innocent. She unlocked the cage I’d left him in. And he attacked her.” Pain dripped from Allonic’s every word.
I watched Gregor as Allonic explained. It was him I was most concerned with. Anissa was strong, and she had Jonah to help her through this. But Gregor, he had no one.
“You… you thought you could use Valerius’s power for yourself?” Gregor was still stuck there, trying to understand. Watching his struggle was nearly more than I could bear.
“Yes. I used a spiritwalker to control him. It was a terrible, selfish act which made all the sense in the world to me at the time. Now, I see it for what it was, but it cannot bring my—” he glanced at Anissa, “—our mother back. I will never be able to forgive myself.”
