by Christa Lynn
“Ahh, fuck!” I scream.
“That’s right, fuck!” he barks as he stills and comes, my ass pressed against his thighs. He pulls out and stands behind me, and I lower myself onto my stomach, out of breath and out of energy. I manage to crawl to the pillow, and he lies down beside me, his chest rising and falling with every heavy breath. Once he’s caught his breath he gets up, his warmth leaving me in a rush. But soon I hear the bathwater running. He steps out of the bathroom, and I open my eyes to see him standing there, curling his finger to get me to come to him.
“I can’t move,” I complain.
“Very well,” he responds as he walks to the bed and rolls me over, then scoops me into his arms and carries me to the bathroom, slowly and carefully lowering me into the steaming hot water. He pours a small amount of lavender oil into the water before he steps in behind me, pulling me back against his chest. The warm water is soothing and relaxing, my aching muscles loosening in the heat. He takes the soap and softly and tenderly bathes me, massaging my muscles.
He brushes my hair off my shoulders and cradles me. I feel warm, safe and secure. His keeps his hands on me at all time, and I find myself so relaxed I almost fall asleep. “You’re turning into a prune, we’d better get out,” he says as he pulls the drain and stands me up. We dry off and climb into bed, pulling my fluffy comforter up over us, even though we’re warm from the bath. Within minutes, we’re both sound asleep.
Chapter 24
I smell the coffee and my body instantly rises from my pillow. It’s like a dog with a bone, so I get out of bed and throw on a t-shirt and then make my way downstairs to the kitchen. Nash is at the stove scrambling eggs in nothing but his underwear. “Holy fuck,” I say. He turns back as he stirs the eggs.
“Good morning, beauty.”
“Morning,” I yawn. He turns the burner off and grabs a cup and puts it under the spout and brews me a cup of dark roast. “Good, the stronger, the better.”
“I can do strong,” he boasts.
“Yes, yes you can.”
“You’re not a morning person, are you?”
“Whatever gave you that idea?” I roll my eyes as I sit down the kitchen table, a plate of eggs, bacon and toast are set down in front of me. “How did I not smell bacon?” I ask as I eye the greasy strip of pork.
“Your nose followed the coffee, because of that ‘not a morning person’ thing.” He laughs, and I shove a piece of bacon in my mouth.
“Don’t be a smartass,” I mumble around my mouthful of bacon, being utterly ladylike.
“Hungry?” he asks as he sits down next to me and scoops up a spoonful of eggs.
“Famished,” I say. “Some crazy ass fireman wore me out last night.” I grin as I slowly come to life. It’s strange having someone here first thing in the morning, I’m used to waking up alone.
“Oh, but what fun it was.” He grins. “I noticed you walking funny when you came in.”
“I feel like I’ve been rode hard and put up wet.” I giggle.
“Well … you kinda were.” He side eyes me.
“When do go you back on shift?”
“Nice change of subject.” He laughs. “I go in at six a.m. tomorrow until six a.m. Wednesday.”
“I don’t know how you do it.”
“You get used to it,” he says. “And if it’s a slow night …” he drifts off.
“Oh no, no more phone sex,” I argue as he pokes his bottom lip out.
“But it helps me get through the long nights,” he cries.
“With you jacking off over the phone? Aren’t the other guys around?”
“I’m quiet when I jack off.” He smirks.
“So, all that noise is reserved for me?”
“Well, your pussy is so much better than my hand, so … yeah.”
“I should hope so,” I say as he scoots closer. “Oh, wait, Miss Kitty is tired, don’t even think about it.”
“Fine,” he pouts again.
“Seriously, you should get that thing checked. Does it ever sleep?” I ask, eyeing the bulge in his underwear.
“Not when I’m around you,” he says as he picks up our dishes and puts them in the sink. As he turns the water one, his cell rings. “Where’s my phone? I hear it …”
I duck upstairs and find the source of the ringing and pull his phone out of his pants pocket. “Hey, Mom,” he says as he answers and leaves the bedroom. I pull on some yoga pants and wash my face and brush my teeth while he takes his call. As I’m drying my face, he comes running back in, gathering his clothes. “I have to go,” he says, a desperate look on his face.
“What’s happened?”
“Amber’s gone.”
“What? Where did she go?” I ask as I slip on my tennis shoes.
“No one knows. Mom went to wake her up this morning, and she wasn’t in her bed.”
“Oh, no, I’m going with you,” I announce as I follow him back down the stairs. “I’ll follow you,” I say as I jump in my car, “we can go different directions.”
“Okay, follow me to Mom’s, we’ll start there.”
“You go ahead, I’ll be right behind you,” I say. He pulls out, and I fall in behind him, but as he turns right, I go left. I see his brake lights in my mirror like he’s going to turn around. I grab my cell at the red light and emphasize, “Go on to your mom’s, I need to make a quick stop, and I’ll be right there.”
“Okay.” He types back, and he’s on his way. I head toward downtown, I’m hoping she’s at her house, and if I’m right, she’s not going to be in a good way. Her world fell apart the other day, and then suddenly she’s placed into Pearl and Jimbo’s house, she has to be overwhelmed. I know I would be. As I pull onto Lockwood, I see the pile of debris left from the fire. It’s charred and roped off with yellow tape. There isn’t much left of the house; a half brick wall and the concrete steps are all that remains of the actual structure. I pull into the driveway and get out of the car, walking toward the burned-out house. Cars pass by slowly, their morbid curiosity getting the best of them. I don’t pay them any attention, as I need to find Amber. But she’s not here. I get up close and cover my face, the smell of the fire still lingering. As I get close to what used to be the front door, I hear crying. I follow the sound and walk to the backyard and there she is, sitting on an old tire swing clutching a soot-covered teddy bear. Her back is to me, so she doesn’t see me.
I stand there and watch her, letting her release her grief. The tire swings ever so slightly, her feet barely touching the ground below her. Her chin is resting on the teddy bear, and she’s holding onto it like her life is depending on it.
I saunter toward her, and as I get closer, I speak. “Amber?” I ask quietly, so as not to startle her. But she jumps anyway and relaxes when she sees me. She lowers her head and doesn’t speak, but she doesn’t run away, either. I walk up to her and push the swing a little, back and forth in a slow rocking motion. I don’t speak, and neither does she. I just quietly push her in the swing, the wind blowing through her blonde curls. She’s still in her pajamas, so it looks like she just wandered off. Though Nash’s Mom’s house is several miles from here.
“How did you get here?” I ask quietly. She nods toward the tree line, and I see the bicycle on its side. “You rode your bike all the way here?” She nods. “That’s a long way, how long did it take you?”
She shrugs her shoulders and doesn’t answer, and I don’t press the issue. I figure it took her an hour or more on her bike and she’s probably tired. She just holds onto the teddy bear and floats along as I push her. When she’s ready to talk, she’ll talk.
But she doesn’t, she just sits on the tire and swings. Nash is worried, so I need to let him know I found her. “Pearl and Jimbo are worried about you.” But again, she’s quiet. “Nash too,” I say and that perks her up a little. “Yeah, Nash just went to his mom’s house, and I came here, thinking you might be here. Though I’m pretty amazed that you rode your bike all the way here.”
“It was nothing,” she whispers.
“Of course it’s a big deal, that’s a long way for a little girl to be riding by herself. What if something had happened to you?”
“No one would care,” she mumbled.
“Amber, there are a lot of people who care about you.”
“Really? Like who?” She puts her foot on the ground and stops the swing.
“Pearl, Jimbo, and Nash. And me,” I say.
“I don’t know why, I’m little Orphan Amber,” she cries.
“Oh, honey, you are not an orphan.”
“Yes, I am, my mom and dad are dead, and I’m homeless. That makes me an orphan.”
“But you have people that want to take care of you, you don’t have to be an orphan.”
“Well, what if I want to be?”
“You want to live on the streets with no food or shelter? Do you want to become someone’s prey?”
“Prey?”
“Yeah, baby girl. There are sick people out here, but there are good people that want to protect you from the evil people. Pearl and Jimbo want to be those good people. You’re not alone out here in this world.”
“I want my mom and dad back,” she cries as she flails into me, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“Oh, honey, I know you do. And the Bennett’s aren’t trying to replace your mom and dad, they’d never do that. They miss their little girl too, you know?”
“What happened to their little girl?”
“Well, hop in the car and let’s head back to the Bennett’s, and I’ll tell you what I know,” I say as I take her hand and lead her back to the driveway, her eyes filled with tears as she looks at what used to be her house.
“Wait,” she says as she lets my hand go and runs toward a pile of rubble.
“Amber!” I scream as I run after her. “Be careful!”
She doesn’t look back, but she stands over what looks like charred paper. She leans down and picks it up, blowing the soot off the paper. I watch her face and her expression changes, the hard lines softening a little. She hugs the paper to her chest and presses the teddy bear against it and walks back to me, taking my hand.
We get into the car, and she buckles up, and I pull out and head toward the Bennett’s. At a red light, I grab my phone and see Nash has texted me.
“Where are you?”
“I have Amber.”
“Oh thank God, where was she?”
“I’ll tell you when I get there, I’m on my way.”
“We forgot my bike,” Amber says.
“Well come back later and get it, or we’ll buy you a new one.”
“You’d buy me a bike?”
“Sure, why not?”
“Wow, thanks.”
“You’re going to find that there are a lot of people to help you.” She smiles but she doesn’t speak.
“Are you going to tell me what happened to Miss Pearl’s daughter?”
“Tell you what, I’ll let them tell you. We’ll be there in a just a few minutes. It’s not really my story to tell, you know?”
“Okay,” she says, that paper still clutched to her chest.
“Whatcha got there?” I ask. She lowers it, and it’s a family photo. The edges are burned, and it’s faded and dusty, but you can still see the picture. “Is that your mom and dad?” She nods. I watch the road, but keep an eye on her out of the corner of my eye. She stares at the photo, but she looks calmer.
“I was afraid I’d forget what they looked like,” she says as she cries.
“And now, you have that. They’ll be with you forever, Amber.” She nods, but cries silently. After a few miles of quiet driving, I pull into The Bennett’s driveway and stop behind Nash’s truck. I get out and open the door, and Pearl runs out the front door. I hold my hand up to keep her at bay; I know she wants to grab Amber and hug her. She nods and stops as I get to the passenger door and open it up.
She gets out of the car and holds that photo and the teddy bear so close to her chest, I’m afraid she’s going to damage it further. I walk next to her as we make our way to the door, Amber’s eyes on her slippered feet. Nash and Jimbo have joined Pearl on the front porch, and Amber looks up at all of them as she heads up the steps.
“Where have you been?” Pearl asks, trying to be motherly but at the same time trying not to scare her.
“Pearl, let her get in the house first,” Jim says as he walks inside, Amber following. I sit down next to her, and everyone else takes their places.
“I found her at her house,” I say.
“What? How?” Pearl asks.
“She rode her bike,” I say. “I somehow knew that’s where she’d be.”
“Well, thank God you found her,” she says. “We were so worried about you.”
Amber looks up, “What happened to your daughter?” Amber asks. Pearl takes a deep breath and looks at the floor.
“I’ve got this, Ma,” Nash pipes up. He crosses his hands in front of himself and leans down to look at the floor as if he still can’t face his parents over what happened. “Mom and Dad were at the Hospital Ball, I was babysitting Jade. She was thirteen, like you,” he says as he looks up. “We were sleeping, I was in my room at the top of the stairs, Jade was in her room at the end of the hall. The dog woke me up, and I thought he needed to go out. So I took him out, half asleep. But Bo was acting funny, I just didn’t realize it until it was too late. I heard Jade scream and as I looked back toward the house, smoke billowed out of the rooftop.” His eyes are glassed over, and it’s like he’s gone back to that day. We all sit in silence and allow Nash to tell the story.
“I tried to get back into the house, but the door was blocked. Thick smoke billowed from the roofline and all I could hear was Jade screaming for me.” He’s full on sobbing. “I tried, Mom … Dad. I tried to get back in the house, I tried to save her. I’m so sorry,” he cries.
“Oh, Nash, that fire wasn’t your fault.” Pearl moves to him, Amber sitting there with tears in her eyes too. Jimbo a little glassy eyed as well, in fact, we’re all crying at this point.
“Yes, it was, Ma, I could have saved her. I should have saved her.”
“You mean all these years you’ve been holding this on your chest? Feeling like you were to blame for her death? Nash, no.” Pearl says as she hugs Nash, both of them crying on each other’s shoulders. I stand up to leave the room as this is a family moment, but Amber takes my hand.
“Don’t go,” she mouths to me. I sit back down and let Pearl and Nash do what they need to do, but Amber is different. She brushes her tears away and sets the photo and her teddy bear down, then walks over to Nash and Pearl. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. Pearl releases Nash and pulls Amber into her arms, Nash joining in on the group hug, and then Jim.
“I’m sorry you lost your sister, Nash.”
“You remind me a lot of her,” he says, brushing the tears away from his face. He looks so vulnerable right now, and I think I’ve fallen in love with him a little more. I think I fall in love with him a little more each time I see him.
“If it’s okay, I’d like to stay with you guys,” Amber says.
“Of course, Amber. But you can’t run off in the middle of the night again, okay?”
“Okay.”
Everyone stands up and wipes their eyes, “You must be hungry, I’ll make pancakes,” Pearl says as she and Amber walk to the kitchen. Nash and Jim walk outside on the patio and talk for a few minutes, and I sit here on the sofa alone suddenly wondering where I fit in with all of this. I’m the outsider here.
“Shelby, you coming?” Amber asks from the other room.
“Sure,” I say and follow them into the kitchen. We work in silence as we make pancakes for Amber, and as she sits down to eat, I grab a bag of chocolate chips from the pantry, sprinkling a few on her pancakes. I wink and turn to see Nash staring at me, and Pearl is staring at Nash. It suddenly feels like the Mannequin Challenge in Pearl’s kitchen. We’re all dead still, the only thing missing
is the slow-moving camera.
Pearl nods her head for Nash to follow her, and they leave the room. “Can I take that photo with me today?” I ask, a look of pure fear creases Amber’s features. “Relax, I want to have it restored, so it’s clearer. I won’t hurt the photo, I promise.”
“Okay,” she says. “But that’s all I have left of them.”
“I know, baby, I’m going to make it better than ever. Do you trust me?” She nods.
Nash and Pearl come back into the kitchen and Nash sits at the table, looking solemn. “You okay?” I ask him.
“I’m perfect, beauty,” he whispers as he leans in and kisses my cheek “Thank you for finding her, how did you know where she was?”
“I’m a girl, if that had happened to me, that would be the first place I would have gone.”
“Well, I’m glad you went there and brought her back to us. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I say as Amber digs into her chocolate chip pancakes. Nash smirks and winks at me. “Ma would have never gone for chocolate chip pancakes.”
“I know, but I’m not her mom.” I smile.
“Thank God for that.” He grins.
I stand up and push my chair in, “I’m going to run home and shower, give you guys some family time.”
“Okay, I’ll walk you out.”
“Bye, Amber, we’re still going shopping soon, right?”
“Sure,” she says with a mouthful of pancake.
“I’m gonna hold you to that,” I say. She nods and smiles, but continues to eat. I know she’s got a long way to go, and as long as she has people around her who care, she’ll be okay.
“Can I see you tonight?” Nash asks.
“I think you need to be here, with your family.”
“Then you can come back later,” he says.
