“Make it go!” Ushuk said impatiently and pointed to the breeding hut.
So I did the only thing that I knew how to do, I analysed it.
Goblin Breeding Hut
The Goblin Breeding hut is where new goblins are created to be a part of your clan. Each new goblin will be loyal to the clan from their birth, however, loyalty is not a permanent guarantee. The breeding hut uses food to create new goblins, but be aware that in addition to their initial cost, all goblins require food to survive.
Current Food Available: 0Current Maintenance Level: 4
Current Food Generation: 0 Units / Day
Available Goblins:
Goblin baby - 3 Food required
Goblin youngling - 5 Food required
Goblin adolescent - 7 Food required
A goblin baby will advance to a goblin youngling within one week, that child will advance to an adolescent within a second week before becoming an adult in a third week. These goblins may not be specialised until they become an adult, at which time they are able to select a basic specialisation from the list available to goblin adults. To become a specialised Goblin adult, a goblin adolescent must be taught their chosen trade by an adult who already possesses that skill before they are able to use it.
Goblin adults:
Goblin Worker - 10 Food required
Goblin workers are the general labourers that make up the backbone of all successful goblin clans. Without them, getting anything done would be much harder and take much longer.
Progression to: Advanced Goblin Worker, Goblin Hauler, Goblin Woodworker etc.
Goblin Feeder - 10 Food required
Without food, any clan will perish and die. Goblin feeders can forage, hunt, fish and farm more efficiently than any other type of goblin, greatly increasing the clan’s ability to generate food.
Progression to: Goblin Hunter, Goblin Farmer, Goblin Gatherer, Goblin Fisherman etc..
Goblin Crafter - 10 Food required
Without tools and equipment, even Goblins with the best of intentions will be limited to what their hands alone can achieve. Goblin Crafters provide this equipment by the combination of raw materials and their expertise.
Progression to: Goblin Tanner, Goblin Smith, Goblin Armourer etc.
Goblin Builder - 10 Food required
All settlement buildings require construction before their activation. Goblin builders allow the construction of basic buildings, and at higher levels advanced buildings can be constructed.
Progression to: Advanced Goblin Builder, Goblin Foreman.
Goblin Warrior - 10 Food required
A clan without an army won’t last long as the enemies of goblins are numerous. Goblins aren’t strong, feared or even particularly adept at battle, but goblin warriors help to reclaim some of that balance.
Progression to: Goblin Lieutenant, Goblin Fighter, Goblin Spear Adept, Goblin Blocker, Goblin Archer etc.
Goblin Cook - 15 Food required
An army marches on its stomach and without a cook, the food that is available to the clan will be either raw and potentially dangerous, or overcooked, spoiled and ineffective.
Progression to: Goblin Chef.
Goblin Mystic - 15 Food required
Goblin mystics are a very rare thing. Where traditionally goblins favour the strength statistic, a goblin mystic will have invested significantly into wisdom. Goblin Mystics use magic to carry out the tasks assigned to them.
Progression to: Goblin Mage, Goblin Shaman, Goblin Enchanter etc.
Goblin Healer – 20 Food required
Although health regenerates over time, in the throws of battle there is seldom time to wait. Goblin healers provide fast healing to injured allies in their time of need.
Progression to: Goblin Doctor, Goblin Soother
There were so many choices, but my hands were kind of tied as I didn’t have any food to start summoning new goblins anyway. It looked to me as though food was the currency that the game ran on, so I made a mental note to ensure that it was to be the number one priority at all times.
“Ushuk, it looks like we’re going hunting again,” I announced as I shooed the breeding hut panel away, to which he smiled and straightened his back. Killing things and winning battles were definitely ingrained into goblin society.
“What I do?” Snafu asked nervously, circling one of her feet on the ground.
I hadn’t thought to analyse Snafu since she’d joined the clan, presumably she had a specialisation from the list shown on the Breeding Hut’s menu. Not wanting to fall into any bad habits, I simply asked her what her specialisation was.
“I a cook,” she announced. I should’ve known.
“Well in that case, what do you like to cook best?” I asked. I wanted her to feel just as important as Ushuk in the clan, after all I’d just gained a cook from nowhere and I thought the best way to achieve that would be to let her have some say in what she did.
“I like cook anything. Beetle easy. So spider and snake. Big things harder, like crocodile. Fish very easy,” she explained. I could see where she was coming from, if it was easy to kill, it was easy to cook. I didn’t quite fancy fishing with Ushuk all day though, compared to our beetle rodeo it took around five times longer to catch a fish as it did to harvest a beetle, plus I already knew that beetles gave experience points, and levelling up was always a good thing in these kinds of games.
“Do…you want to come hunting with us?” I asked the female goblin.
She looked at me in mild distress. “I cook. I no hunt!” she exclaimed. “If I no come back, breeding hut no work!”
I summarised mentally that the breeding hut was linked to the female who’d activated it, and that it would deactivate if that female died. I coulnt have been sure that I was right, but if I was then no wonder I hadn’t seen too many female goblins outside at the Sawblades’ camp.
By the time the sun had started to set, little Ushuk and I had gained a total of twelve beetles and one crocodile between us, which gave us thirteen food and one crocodile’s tooth, which I planned to give to Snafu as a welcome gift. The crocodile had shown up right on time but prepared for its attack this time, we managed to subdue it with much more ease than last time. Ushuk and I had both risen to level three and I’d instantly dumped my new attribute point right into strength. It was my kind of go-to in most RPG games to increase my physical self before deciding how I was really going to play the game. As promised, I hadn’t instructed Ushuk on how to spend his new attribute point and so I’d left him to it.
I gave Snafu all the meat that we’d collected so that she could cook it. I watched as her eyes lit up at the amount we’d managed to get a hold of.
“This much meat for just three,” she said as she skewered each steak shaped piece one at a time. “Would be good have pot.”
A cooking pot would be a good idea, I thought, but getting that much metal – of which so far id seen none, and then shaping it didn’t seem like something I was instantly able to do so I made a mental note to investigate it later.
“So, do we have enough food to summon a new clan member?” I asked Snafu as she laid the skewered meat on a flat rock that she’d presumably found for such an occasion.
“Why not look for self?” she said not looking up from the meat. “Probably no. Only thirteen meat. Need two for dinner. Need two for breakfast.” She explained and I was somewhat astounded at her ability to count past five. I wondered what she’d meant by ‘looking for myself’ when I palmed my forehead as I remembered that the breeding hut had a food counter that showed me the numbers that I was asking for.
Goblin Breeding Hut
Current Food Available: 11Current Maintenance Level: 4
Current Food Generation: 0 Units / Day
I managed to minimise all of the other information about the breeding hut by simply focussing on it and thinking ‘go away’. Snafu had been right though. With only eleven food available – presumably two already allocated for our dinner – it wo
uld mean that if I summoned a new goblin that was anything costlier than a youngling we wouldn’t have enough food to go around. I didn’t want a youngling, I wanted a full adult goblin with a specialisation – someone who could really benefit the clan.
It seemed strange to me that the food generation rate was at zero though, as Ushuk and I worked pretty well as a team and definitely brought in much more food than we’d actually needed.
I directed my question at Ushuk, “Hey, the hut says our food generation is at zero, why is that?”
Ushuk looked up at me from his beetle steak, having being tossed one by Snafu when I hadn’t been looking. “We not real hunters. Need…um…” he searched his limited vocabulary for the right words, “…permanent allocation.”
‘Wow those were some big words for such a small goblin’.
It was the first time that I think I’d managed to understand one of his explanations without having to work mentally to translate what he was saying.
I squinted my eyes at him, “What did you do with that new attribute point of yours?” I asked suspiciously, forcing him to look down at his feet. “Did you put it into wisdom again?”
Snafu scoffed loudly at my accusation and I saw Ushuk’s ears lower slightly without looking back up at me. “Ushuk like what did last time. It also make Tandy happy.” He said quietly.
I didn’t know what to say to that, had he really gone against all of his genetic instincts just because he thought it would make me happy?
“No, Ushuk. I said you could decide to do whatever you wanted to with this one!” I protested, “You shouldn’t have done that just because you thought it would make me happy!”
Ushuk raised his gaze to meet mine and I could see the determination in his eyes. “I say I like it,” he scowled. “It make me feel smart…so it not make you happy?” he asked.
What makes me happy is to know that you are happy,” I announced. “That goes for you too,” I directed my last statement towards Snafu, who was wearing a huge grin on her face, presumably due to the fact that she found Ushuk’s investment in wisdom extremely funny.
“Oooh, Ushuk all clever, Ushuk big clever goblin,” she taunted. Ushuk didn’t respond.
“Now now, Snafu, if you carry on teasing Ushuk I might not give you your present,” I said with a smile of my own.
Snafu instantly stopped her laughing and a serious expression crossed her face. “You bring Snafu present?” she asked with wide eyes.
I willed the crocodile’s tooth that I’d claimed from the beast when we’d killed it and stretched my hand out towards Snafu before being greeted with the same notification that had presented itself when I first gave Ushuk his gift.
You have 1 Crocodile Tooth in your inventory
Do you wish to gift these items to Snafu? Yes/No
I selected ‘yes’ as I had done with every single notification window I’d seen so far and watched as Snafu tied her new necklace around her neck. I had to admit that I was a little jealous that I was the only member of the Crocodile’s Teeth clan without an actual crocodile’s tooth, but there was always tomorrow.
Snafu was uncharacteristically quiet as she moved right next to me on my log and nestled her nose into my neck. I couldn’t be sure, but it felt as though this was a gesture of thanks for my gift so I just let it happen. After a moment she moved back away from me and started twiddling the tooth with her fingers, twisting it before letting it go and watching it spin back into form.
Although I’d seen the breeding hut’s information panel, as I watched the flames of the campfire dancing before my eyes I came to the realisation that we hadn’t actually named our little settlement yet, and every good sailor knows that its bad luck to sail in an unnamed ship.
“I think we should name this place,” I announced to the two goblins. “Do you have any preference, or any ideas what we should call it?”
“How about Ushuk’s house?” Ushuk tried but I shook my head enthusiastically.
“Usual to name after clan,” Snafu said through a full mouth of beetle meat. “Sawblades’ den called ‘Sawblades’ den’” She explained unnecessarily. There was no way I was naming our camp ‘Crocodile’s Teeth Den’ though. No, I wanted something that conveyed our message, the way that everything and everyone was welcome and equal with the Crocodile’s Teeth – like ‘Equalia’ but far less…well…terrible.
‘I’ve got it!’ I thought as the idea popped into my head. “How about Coyote Creek?”
The goblins didn’t get a chance to answer before a system message popped into my view.
You have chosen to name your settlement Coyote Creek
This will permanently change the name of this area until your clan no longer claims the land as its own.
Do you wish to name your settlement Coyote Creek? Yes/No
I selected ‘yes’. ‘There’s a surprise’.
When I was rid of the notification, I could see both Ushuk and Snafu looking at me.
“What a… coy-ote?” Ushuk asked.
“It’s coy-yo-tee,” I corrected him. “It’s like a wild dog.”
They still didn’t seem to get the message.
“A small wolf,” I said, remembering that role-playing games tended to use wolves a lot more than dogs. I could tell they understood.
“There no wolves here,” Ushuk said as he squinted one eye at me.
“No, it’s a bit of a joke really,” This one wasn’t going to be an easy explanation. “…where I’m from, coyote was the name given to people who’d help get illegal immigrants across borders so that they could start new lives.”
‘I’m going waaaay too far with this explanation’ I thought. I was right, neither Ushuk’s nor Snafu’s face had changed since I’d started speaking to give any sort of indication that they understood. I may as well have been speaking French to them.
“OK, so you want to go from this side of the lake to the other side, right?” I started.
“Why I want to go across lake?” Ushuk asked.
‘This definitely wasn’t going to be easy’.
“No, forget that. If you needed something that you couldn’t get on your own and I got it for you, that would make me a coyote,” I knew it wasn’t exactly correct, but I couldn’t think of any other way to describe it to him.
“Like a smuggler?” Ushuk asked.
I facepalmed. “Yes. A smuggler.” I’d just been outwitted by a goblin. Again.
“We smugglers then?” Ushuk asked disinterestedly. It seemed he didn’t really care either way, but just wanted to know.
“Not really, coyotes only smuggle people…not that we are doing that…it’s just…um…” I couldn’t do it. Explaining coyotes, border control and immigration to a goblin was simply too difficult. “Forget it, it means wolves,” I conceded.
“Where I sleep tonight?” Snafu asked as soon as I’d stopped bungling my words.
“…in the breeding hut, like last night?” I asked questioningly, hoping that she wasn’t about to suggest sharing my log.
She shook her head. “That breeding hut now. Last night was hut.”
It seemed that by activating the breeding hut it made it unavailable for her to crash inside, which kind of made sense. I wouldn’t want to go in there either.
“Do you think there’s room in the tent with you?” I asked Ushuk, who slowly shook his head. This must have been his revenge for Snafu laughing at his increased wisdom.
“Then I’m afraid it’s outside with me for tonight. You can have the log and I’ll take the floor,” I said. “and tomorrow, we’ll make another tent so that we can all have a place to sleep.”
I hadn’t thought about what I’d just said, but thinking back on it, it sounded as though I just said that Snafu and I would be sleeping together. “Or two tents…or whatever,” I added as nonchalantly as is could.
As soon as I awoke the next morning, a notification obscured my vision.
System Message
Coyote Creek has been an active se
ttlement for 1 day. If a central building is not activated within 3 days of the camp’s formation, your clan will be disbanded as its members search for alternate accommodation.
‘Oh shit, what’s this now?’ I willed the message away and sat bolt upright. Snafu was sitting on the log that she’d been sleeping on, placing meat on the fire.
“It says I need to make a central building?!” I exclaimed in confusion. “Why didn’t I know that?”
She looked at me with a sympathetic tone. “Everyone know that. You need build chief hut.” She said softly before gesturing to Snafu’s tent. “Why not make tent into chief hut?”
“I can do that?” I asked as my panic levels ebbed away to a manageable level.
She didn’t answer my rhetorical question but continued with her work. I focussed on the tent I’d built and a message appeared before me.
This building can be made the central building of Coyote Creek. This location is currently claimed by the Crocodile’s Teeth clan.
Do you wish to make this building the Chief’s Hut? Yes/No
I thought about selecting ‘no’ just to see what would happen, but the inner sceptic in me forced me to accept the notification just in case.
Unlike the activation of the Breeding Hut, which was frightfully anticlimactic, my tent glowed with a bright light that shot in a beam directly upward from its centre. It shone so brightly that its shape was completely obscured from my vision. After a few seconds, the light receded and left in place of my rustic wooden tent was a new building. It was bigger than my tent had been, about three times bigger in fact and now square. The walls were lined with animal furs of different colours so that it resented a kind of patchwork and either side of the door were two spears with skulls atop them.
The Copper Rose Page 7
