“Go home, Ethan!” I yelled over my shoulder, never breaking stride.
“Damn it! Will you just fucking slow down? I need to talk to you.”
“I have nothing to say to you! You had no right to say that shit back there! Just leave me alone!”
“I’m not leaving you alone until you talk to me!”
“God!” I stopped just long enough to spin around and pin him with a hateful look. “There’s nothing to talk about! You can’t just disappear for six years, then come back and say… all that,” I waved my hand back in the direction of The Moose. “You have no right!”
“Baby, please—”
“Don’t call me that! I’m not your baby.”
I picked up the pace, my feet moving me faster as I rounded the side of the building that led to the alley behind the cafe. I was almost home free. Rummaging through my purse for my keys, my foot just hit the bottom step that would take me up to my apartment when Ethan’s pained voice made me jolt to a stop.
“ARGH! Goddamn it! Fuck!”
I spun around just in time to see him hunch over, his hands to the knee that was still covered by the brace. At the sight of it, my insides went cold and everything that had happened earlier to make me run flew from my mind.
I dropped my purse on the ground and ran straight toward him. “Oh my God. Are you okay?” I put my hand to his shoulders to help straighten him. His eyelids were screwed shut, his face twisted in pain as his chest rose and fell with uneven breaths. “Christ, Ethan. What happened?”
“My knee,” he panted. “Wrenched it.”
My stomach dropped. “Shit. Okay, okay. Just breathe.” I leaned into him and took some of his weight. “Are you going to be okay? Did you tear it again?”
“No,” he answered, his breathing finally beginning to slow down. “No. It’ll be okay. Just twisted it.”
“Jesus,” I said on an exhale, relief and frustration warring inside of me. “Have you lost your mind?” I snapped, frustration winning out as I led him closer to the stairs. “You could have really hurt yourself, you dumbass!”
He limped slowly, leaning on me to keep weight off his bad knee. “I needed to talk to you, and you wouldn’t slow down.”
“So you risked a potential career ending injury. Really fucking smart, Ethan.”
He wobbled slightly, the effects of the booze still in his system. “I hate it when you’re mad at me,” he muttered as I propped him up against the wall at the base of the stairs.
“Then stop doing stupid shit and I wouldn’t have to keep getting mad,” I seethed as I moved away from him to get to my purse. There was no way I was getting him up those stairs all by myself. And putting him in my car and driving him back to Harlow and Noah’s would have just prolonged a night that I was ready to be done with.
“Always doing stupid shit,” he continued to mumble as I rummaged in my bag for my phone. “Why couldn’t I have just been content with my life here?” My hand froze at his question, and I had to squeeze my eyes shut against the onslaught of tears that threated to break free. I’d asked myself that same question over and over for so long, that hearing him actually voice it was like a physical blow. I gave myself a few seconds to compose myself before I continued the search for my phone. Unfortunately, Ethan used my silence to continue his goddamned self-reflection.
“If I could have just been happy, I would still have you. Why was I always such a miserable fucking person?”
He was ripping me apart. If he didn’t stop soon, I wasn’t sure how much of me there would have been left. I’d never been so confused in my life. I could have shouted in relief when my fingers curled around my cellphone for the simple fact I wouldn’t have to listen to him say things that made my belly curl with pleasure at the same time fury brought my blood to a boil.
“’Lo?” Lilly’s sleepy voice said on the other end. I was lucky she answered since my roommate slept like the dead.
“Hey, it’s me. I need your help. Can you come outside?”
“What? Where are you?”
I twisted my head to look in Ethan’s direction when he let out a pitiful groan. “I’m outside. Just come downstairs.” I hung up and dropped the phone back into my purse in just enough time to dash back to Ethan and grab him as he toppled over sideways.
“What the hell?” Lilly spoke from the landing.
“Come help me,” I groaned as I tried to carry too much of his weight. I was only seconds away from falling on my ass. “I can’t get him upstairs by myself.”
“Good Lord,” she grunted as she reached us and threw one of his arms over her shoulder. “He smells like a brewery.”
We began the tedious process of getting Ethan up the stairs and into the apartment. “I know. He got wasted at the Moose and made a huge scene. Then the stupid jerk twisted his knee chasing after me.”
“Mmm,” Ethan moaned, turning his head and burying his face in my hair just as we made it to the landing. “Always smell so good.”
“Oh my god,” Lilly’s entire body began shaking with laughter, causing my hold on Ethan to slip.
“Shut up,” I grumbled, wrapping my arm tighter around his waist to keep steady. The move only made him bury his face further into my neck. He moaned and inhaled deeply, causing goosebumps to break out across my flesh.
“Fuck baby,” he groaned into my hair. “Never get tired of your smell.”
“Shit, Eliza. How much did he have to drink?”
We made it all the way into the living room. “I don’t know,” I strained and dropped his massive frame onto the couch. “Enough to start spouting out stupid stuff in front of every single person at The Moose.”
Lilly and I both stood, staring down at his prone body on the couch, both of us panting for breath, our hands resting on our hips. “So what are we supposed to do with him now?”
“I guess we’ll just let him sleep it off. He can call his sister tomorrow when he wakes up.”
I leaned down and pulled off his shoes one by one before lifting his lower legs as gently as I could onto the couch so Ethan was lying down instead of sitting up at a weird, uncomfortable looking angle. I hadn’t even stood back up when his hands were suddenly on my hips and I was moving with a startled yelp.
“Ethan!”
He moaned again as his strong arms held me against his body. I squirmed and pushed, trying to get off from on top of him, but one arm locked around my back while the other trailed down my side, causing my body to lock up as it got closer and closer to my ass. “Feel so good,” he mumbled with his eyes closed, sounding drowsy.
Two seconds later my body came unlocked when I was proven right and Ethan released a soft, rumbling snore that rattled through his chest and into mine. I put my hands to his massive chest and gave a gentle push only to be thwarted when his arms around me tightened and he shifted in his sleep, twisting his body enough to pin half of mine to the couch beneath him.
“Lilly,” I whispered. “Lilly, help me.”
I turned my head when I heard a gargled choking sound and found my best friend holding her hands over her mouth to try and suppress her laughter. “This isn’t funny,” I hiss and struggled against Ethan in vain. “I can’t get out. Help me.”
“Oh my God,” Lilly wheezed, her hands dropping to her knees as she lost it. “This is too good.” Then, to my dismay, she disappeared for a few seconds, only to reappear with her phone in her hand.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Taking a picture. I have to record this moment for posterity.”
“Oh, you’re such a bitch.” I gave his chest another shove and earned even more of his weight as he pulled me further beneath him.
The shutter on her phone’s camera clicked a few times before she finally lowered it. “Well, I’m beat. I’m heading back to bed. Sleep tight, you cuddle bugs.”
“Lilly, no. Lilly!” I hissed when the light in the living room was extinguished.
“Nighty, night,” she called.
; “I hate you!”
Then the apartment grew silent, with the exception of Ethan’s gentle snoring. It most definitely wasn’t the most comfortable position to be in, but every time I tried to move, his hold on me just grew stronger so I was finally forced to stop struggling.
I tried my best to settle in and closed my eyes, only for them to shoot open again when his hips shifted and pressed against mine. His groan sounded almost pained as the stiffness of his erection pressed into me, causing my breath to hitch. “Mmm, feel so good, baby,” he snuffled, sleepily, telling me he was still asleep. His face pressed into my neck as he continued to sleep talk. “Miss you, sweetheart.” My chest caved in as all the air left my lungs. “Miss you so much.”
I remained silent as Ethan’s body finally settled completely. The minutes ticked by as he slept like the dead. All the while I was stuck staring up at the dark ceiling, sleep evading me as so many unanswered questions swam through my head.
The most important one being: what the hell was I going to do?
Because no matter how many times I told myself I wasn’t going to let my heart get involved again the truth was, it already was.
There wasn’t a doubt in my mind I was going to get hurt again. And the scariest thing about that was there was no way for me to brace for the impact.
Ethan
THE NAGGING THROB in my head only grew worse as the sun lit behind my eyelids, pushing away the last dregs of sleep.
Three things hit me all at once. First was that I wasn’t on the sleeper sofa in my sister’s living room. Second was that, despite the headache, I felt like I’d had one of the best night’s sleeps in my entire life. And third, I was surrounded by Eliza’s scent, a scent so strong the only thing that could cut through it was the aroma of bacon drifting into the room.
Pushing up to sitting, I took in my surroundings as images of the night before came back to me in full force. It was a curse and a boon, the fact that no matter how drunk I got, I was still able to remember what had happened the night before, and in the case of last night, there were good and bad things about remembering it all. The bad was that I’d once again pissed Eliza off. The good was I remembered how it felt when her warm, lush body was in my arms before I finally succumbed to sleep.
That particular memory was one I was going to enjoy the minute I got myself into a shower. If I didn’t, there was no telling how long the hard-on behind my fly would plague me.
“Well, good morning, sleepy head.” My head shot around to look over the back of the couch. Lilly stood in the open-concept kitchen, tongs in hand as she manned a skillet full of bacon. “I was wondering how long you’d stay passed out on our couch. Got worried for a second when you didn’t move when I kicked you. Had to hold a mirror under your nose just to make sure you were breathing.”
I felt relatively confident, by the smile on her face, that she hadn’t really kicked me. But I couldn’t be positive.
“What time is it?” I asked, reaching into my pocket for my cell. When I came up empty, Lilly spoke again and pointed the tongs in my direction.
“It’s on the coffee table. Don’t worry. I didn’t feel you up when I pulled it out of your pocket. But that damn thing has been ringing off the hook since seven this morning. It was either put it on silent or tap dance on it.”
I grabbed it off the table and hit the button at the bottom to turn it on. Sure enough, my phone was on vibrate and there were a ton of missed calls and text messages. All from Harlow worrying about where I was.
“Shit.” I fell back on the couch and rubbed my face with my free hand. I shot Harlow a quick text to tell her I was alive and that I’d slept on Eliza’s couch the night before. Then it hit me. “Where’s Eliza?” I asked as I looked around the room, a sudden sense of dread twisting my stomach into knots at the fact I went to sleep with her and woke up alone.
“Lilly studied me for a while before finally responding. “How much do you remember from last night?”
I dropped my phone back on the table and used both hands to scrub my face. “All of it,” I answered honestly. After my performance the night before, honesty was the only option I had. With how I’d acted in The Moose and after when I followed her home, I knew I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on if I claimed memory loss. Especially after everything I’d said. I needed to talk to her. Finally admit the truth and hope she didn’t kick me out on my ass.
“Relax, she’s at the café. Her mornings usually start early. She had to escape your clutches to get her butt down there on time.”
Relief slammed into me like a battering ram, and without thought, I was on my feet. “Hey!” Lilly called as I headed for the front door. “You forgot your phone!”
I instantly backtracked and snatched it up from where I’d left it seconds before. “Good luck,” she called. “You’re seriously going to need it, buddy. But if it’s any consolation, I’m rooting for you. Oh! And take the interior stairs! They’ll get you right to the kitchen.” She pointed in the direction I needed to go.
“Thanks!” I called back just before the door closed behind me. Surprisingly, the pain in my knee wasn’t all that bad as I made my way down the stairs. I counted that as a blessing seeing as I could have done irreparable damage last night, had Eliza not been there to help me.
I’d just made it to the base of the stairs when I heard the faint sound of music coming from down the hall. I followed the sound until I came to a swinging door on my right. I pushed in and the sound of Hozier became clearer, along with Eliza humming along with the song. She was all alone in the large kitchen, lost in whatever she was doing and hadn’t heard me enter. I caught her in profile and her beauty hit me full force, even standing there in nothing but a pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt covered in an apron, her hair in a ratty bun and the top of her head and her face clean of all makeup, she was more beautiful than any woman I’d ever seen.
“Hey.”
At the sound of my voice, the spoon she was using to stir something in a pot on the stove shot up, slinging something red everywhere as she jumped around on a sharp, startled inhale. “God, Ethan!” she breathed, putting her hand to her chest. “You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?”
I didn’t hesitate in diving right in. We’d been dancing around each other since the moment I saw her standing in the chip aisle of Mabel’s Corner Market. “We need to talk.”
“About what?” she asked, feigning ignorance as she turned back to the stove and continued stirring, like she wasn’t well aware that I was talking about everything I’d said to her the night before.
“You know damn good and well what we need to talk about,” I ground out, my irritation rising with every second that she refused to meet my eyes.
She shrugged. “Far as I’m concerned there’s nothing to talk about. I’m busy right now, so you can let yourself out.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
She never stopped stirring. “It’s not. You were drunk out of your mind and were rambling incoherently. Let’s just pretend last night never happened.”
Wrong thing to say. “Goddamn it,” I seethed. Storming over to the stove, I threw the dial to kill the flame beneath the pot and yanked the spoon out of her hand, throwing it clear across the room.
“What is your problem?!” she shouted, spinning around so we were face to face.
“My problem is that you’re full of shit!” I shouted back, finally getting a reaction other than indifference from her. And seeing that reaction fed a hunger inside me to push her for more.
“I’m full of shit? Are you fucking kidding me?! You’re such an asshole, Ethan! Not that I should be surprised,” she laughed bitterly. “You seem to be making a habit out of that.”
I took a step back and pulled in a breath in an attempt to calm down. “Look. We need to talk about what I said last night.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. You were drunk and talking out of your ass. It didn’t mean anything.” she declared
with finality.
Oh fuck that. All calm flew out the window. Moving back in, I pinned her hips to the counter and rested my hands on either side of her. “Oh, baby. That’s where you’re wrong. I might have been drunk, but what I said meant fucking everything.”
Her chest rose and fell in what most people would have thought was rage. But I knew that pink currently darkening her cheeks was from something else altogether. “Step back.”
“Not until you stop with this bullshit and listen to me,” I hissed. I watched as her hazel eyes flashed with fear coupled with a longing so extreme I felt it in every fiber of my body before it traveled down to my dick, causing it to twitch. I fed off that look like a man trapped in the desert who’d stumbled onto an oasis.
“Ethan. Step. Back.”
“Eliza—”
“No!” She shoved at my chest so hard I had no choice but to step back on one foot to stay upright. “No! You don’t get to come in here and demand I listen to what you have to say! You don’t get to come back into my life after six fucking years and turn everything upside down! I was doing fine without you. You do not get to do this!”
“I told you why I left!” I fought back, desperation churning my blood.
“And your reasoning was the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard!” she fired back. “No one, not a single fucking one of us would have asked you to give up your dream to stay here! That was all in your head. Everything that happened was your choice. You chose to bail instead of talking to your sister about what was bothering you. You chose to push everyone who cared about you away. And you chose to treat me like I meant nothing to you so you didn’t have any strings left tying you back to this place. That was all on you, Ethan, not me! You can’t just come back and force yourself back into my life after how your treated me. Things have changed. You can’t act like the past six years never happened. You threw me away!”
“Because I was in love with you!” I roared, the words bubbling to the surface before I even had a chance to think.
Coming Full Circle (the Pembrooke series Book 2) Page 13
