“Do you know what the worst part is?” she asked the room at large.
“What is it?” Mariah asked quietly.
Tabetha turned to her sweet sister with a sad smile. “I don’t regret a thing.”
She turned away, ignoring the hushed whispers of her family behind her as she touched two fingers to her lips. She could still feel the warmth of his touch at her waist, the heat of his lips pressed to hers.
Her breath caught in her lungs. The kiss had been light, brief, and...perfect. Her mind had been washed clean of thought and words and reason, and all that remained was her heart.
She’d known in an instant what it was telling her—this is love. The way her heart swelled and her chest ached, the way his very presence made her breathless and overcome with excitement all at once.
It was love.
For her, it was love. For him?
I have every intention of doing the noble and gentlemanly thing in this situation.
She winced at the memory. It wasn’t just his words but the way he’d said it—so stiff and formal. So...resigned. Rather like a man headed to the gallows.
She ignored the stab of pain as she turned back to face her family.
Her family—who were clearly ready to confront her as well. As one. Tabetha blinked in surprise. Honestly, she rarely saw them form such a united front, but each and every one of her siblings was giving her the same serious stare.
She blinked again. Goodness. Darius’s glare was difficult enough to face, but that was nothing compared to Mariah’s look of...oh no.
Was that disappointment? And Evelyn’s gaze was painfully sympathetic, while Clarissa’s mouth was set in a grim line like she was settling in for a fight.
Oh dear.
Tabetha straightened. But she wasn’t a Rutland for nothing. She could be just as stubborn as the rest, especially with the duke’s happiness at stake.
Darius spoke first. Or...he tried to, at least. “Tabetha, if you don’t come to your senses—”
“I think what Darius means to say is that your actions have put you in quite a predicament,” Evelyn finished.
“We only wish to see you happy, Tabetha,” Mariah said.
“You’re being an obstinate fool,” Clarissa added.
“If I may finish?” Darius arched his brows as he addressed his wife and the two youngest sisters.
“By all means,” Evelyn said with a magnanimous gesture for him to continue.
He cleared his throat. “Tabetha, you know I would never force you into any marriage.” He cast a glance toward his wife, who’d very nearly married the wrong man for just that reason.
“I know.” Tabetha’s voice was small. She didn’t like arguing with Darius...or any of her family, for that matter.
“And I will not force you to accept the duke’s proposal,” he said.
She opened her mouth to remind him that it hadn’t been a proposal. Luke had made a statement. A bold sweeping commandment to fix the mess that she’d created. But she stopped short because she knew that wasn’t the point. The point was he would marry her.
And then he would be stuck with her.
She clenched her jaw at the thought of a lifetime together. A lifetime of loving a man who only saw her as an albatross about his neck. A man who would surely be ashamed of her as a duchess when her big mouth and unfortunate tendency to laugh won out over her best intentions.
“However,” he continued. His gaze moved meaningfully toward Mariah and Clarissa. “It is not just your reputation at risk.”
Clarissa started to protest that they would be just fine, and even Mariah’s brow furrowed in anger. But Tabetha barely heard her sisters because she was too busy reeling from Darius’s words. They’d landed like a blow to her belly, leaving her winded. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t thought about that. She was not so daft as to think her actions would have no consequences.
She’d even come up with a solution...of sorts. It was just one she dreaded saying aloud. For saying it aloud would make it real. And once she took this step there would be no going back. But she could put it off no longer, it seemed.
Mariah turned to face Darius. “It is not us we’re concerned about—”
“But it should be,” Tabetha said before Darius was able. Mariah and Clarissa turned back to her with a look of confusion, but Darius and Evelyn’s expressions were grim.
No doubt they understood her dilemma better than most. Surely she was not the first person here to weigh personal desires versus what was best for the family.
She straightened her shoulders. “I shall marry Clarence Claremont.”
“What?” Mariah squeaked.
“You will not,” Clarissa shouted.
“What on earth—” Evelyn started.
“You’re acting like a stubborn fool,” Darius growled over his wife.
And then they were all talking at once, and the chaos of it made Tabetha’s head spin. It wasn’t like she wanted this, she wished to tell them. It wasn’t as though she wanted to spurn the love of her life for a dullard like Clarence. But it was better than shackling the duke with a lady like her.
Because knowing Luke was unhappy with her, it would break her heart too.
“I’m not listening to your arguments,” she shouted, adding her loud voice to the cacophony going on around her. “And I’m not asking permission.”
Darius stepped forward, his face red like he might have an apoplectic fit. “Are you mad?”
“Not at all.” Her stomach churned. She thought she might be sick. “It’s a good plan. It would ensure his mother’s silence and save all of our reputations.”
Darius loomed over her, his features tight with concern and confusion. “Are you so very opposed to the idea of marrying an intelligent, proper duke that you’d marry a nitwit dandy out of spite?”
He ended on a fierce growl and Tabetha matched it with a shout that rattled the chandeliers. “Yes! I would rather marry that dreadful Clarence Claremont than say yes to the duke!”
Silence.
Not the good sort of silence.
No, this was the very, very bad kind of silence—ominous and heavy.
Dread pooled in Tabetha’s belly as she saw her family’s gaze move as one toward the drawing room door behind her.
Her blood was ice in her veins as her stomach churned and her heart seemed to rattle against her ribcage. No. No, no, no.
“I suppose that answers that then,” the duke’s calm, measured voice behind her had her eyes shutting as her shoulders slumped.
She turned slowly just as their elderly butler was clearing his throat, his face red. “Er, might I announce, the, uh…” Poor man trailed off in the face of the room’s horror. “I tried to stop him, my lord,” he said softly to Darius.
Darius waved the man out, and the room stayed as silent as a tomb.
The duke’s gaze was heavy on Tabetha, and she couldn’t have moved a limb if she’d tried.
He had a hat in his hands and he twisted it in his grip as his eyes turned cold and his posture rigid. “Lady Tabetha, I came to pay my respects and perhaps try once more to convince you of my sincerity…” He cleared his throat, his gaze finally setting her free as it moved from her to the others.
She didn’t have to turn to know they were just as frozen in the grips of horror as she’d been. She could imagine all too well their humiliation and their sorrow.
But it was nothing compared to hers.
His gaze finally landed on Darius and he gave the other man a short nod. “Darling, I still wish to do right by your sister and your family, but I will not force my attentions on the lady. I shall leave it to you to decide how you wish to proceed.”
The growl from behind her was Darius’s grudging assent, and then the duke was turning.
He was leaving.
And Tabetha was certain she would never see him again.
11
The morning sun shone brightly on Hyde Park. Another perfect spring day. Luke snee
red up at the clear blue sky, sure the weather was mocking him.
It had been a full day since Tabetha had openly and vehemently rejected him and yet the memory of the dismissal event still sat heavy in his chest.
He’d spent the better part of the night trying to determine the cause. Had she not enjoyed his kiss?
Perhaps she was still angry about Crest’s request. Luke hadn’t really finished explaining.
The horse he’d walked out to the park whinnied next to him. Automatically, he gave the animal’s neck a pat.
Some small part of him wondered if he simply wasn’t enough for her.
He’d like to argue that he was a duke—of course he was enough. But Tabetha didn’t care about titles or society. She lived with her heart and her heart lived for riding.
Not that she ever said the fact he didn’t ride was an issue.
She hadn’t. Not even a hint. Then again, she was unfailingly kind.
But he had to wonder.
If she wanted to marry Clarence Claremont, a man who cared more about fashion than most women, there could be only one way in which Clarence was manlier than himself. The man could still ride a horse. In fact, if Luke understood correctly, the man was an excellent rider. Exceptional.
He sighed as he stared about the quiet section of the park. The very one he’d brought Tabetha to. This was likely a bad plan. For many reasons, not the least of which being that if he fell, this part of the park was so deserted, it could be some time before he was found. Then again, he’d be spared the embarrassment of making a complete fool of himself.
Although, he’d suffered a rather large indignity the day before when she’d so publicly rejected his suit. Normally, that would have been the worst part, but this time around, he found his pride smarted far less than his heart.
Did he really think that being able to ride would make her see that they belonged together?
He grimaced. This plan reeked of desperation, but it was all he could think to do. Sitting around and waiting for her to announce her engagement to Clarence Claremont was certainly not an option. No, it would be best if he kept himself occupied, and what better way than to get back on the horse. Literally.
With that in mind, he put one foot in the stirrup. Sure, he’d picked Tabetha up the other day, a light little lift, but she was small, hardly weighing anything. Could he lift his entire weight into the saddle? And once there, would his body move with the necessary grace required to ride along without bumping up and down like a fool?
Drawing a deep breath, he tightened his hold on the reins.
“Your Grace,” a female voice called from far off.
He turned to see Lady Clarissa waving from her mount, her groom behind her.
He likely should have brought a groom but...he hadn’t wanted anyone to witness his possible humiliation. “Lady Clarissa?”
She kicked up her horse, trotting toward him with a wide smile. “I’d hoped to find you here.”
That surprised him and he dropped his foot again. “You came looking for me?”
“Yes,” she replied, nodding as the groom helped her from her mount. “I wished to speak with you...privately.” She gave the groom a meaningful stare.
The man cleared his throat and without a word, began crossing the grassy area to rest in the shade of a tree. He could still see them, of course, but they had some measure of privacy. “How can I help you?” he asked as he looked down at her, searching her face for clues.
She gave him an angelic smile. “Oh no. I’ve come to help you. I hope.”
He sucked in his breath. Of course. The entire family likely wanted Tabetha to accept his suit. Which did him little good. That was not the same as Tabetha wishing to marry him. “Most kind but not necessary. If Tabetha wished…” But he tapered off as Clarissa held up her hand.
“That’s the confusing part,” Clarissa twisted her hands together. “I’m almost certain that she does wish. Very much.”
He shook his head, looking at his horse, rather than Clarissa. “I’m not sure she does. If she did want to marry me, why would she have so vehemently stated she’d prefer to marry Mr. Claremont.”
Clarissa shifted. “I was hoping you could tell me.”
He stroked a hand down the horse’s neck. “Riding is very important to her. I hurt my back a few years ago, perhaps—”
“Hogwash,” Clarissa answered and then stopped. “Apologies, Your Grace.” And she dipped into a curtsy. “Tabetha would never be so callous. If anything, she’d only want to help you get back in the saddle.”
Luke sighed with relief. That did make sense. Tabetha was unfailingly kind. “Perhaps it was the way we met.”
Clarissa nodded. “Perhaps. She said she mistook your kindness. Mistook it for what?”
His brow furrowed. Mistook his kindness? “I don’t…” He trailed off with a frustrated shake of his head.
Clarissa tapped her chin. “I told her that I saw the two of you together and that it looked to me like the two of you were in—” She cut herself off abruptly, clamping her lips shut tight. After a moment, she finished. “But she doesn’t believe me.”
He blinked, his hand tensing on the reins. He felt like the answer was dancing just out of grasp. “So you told her that you thought I bore an affection for her, but she thinks it’s just kindness.”
Clarissa nodded. “Perhaps if you told her that you did care...?” She stopped with a frown. “Do you care? I thought maybe you did, but if I am wrong…”
A hint of a smile played at his lips. Because in that moment, Clarissa sounded like Tabetha. “I do. Deeply. But if she doesn’t return my affection, I would prefer that fact remain between us.”
Clarissa nodded. “You have my word.” Then Clarissa stepped closer. “But she does return your affection. I’m sure of it. In fact, I think she is holding back because…” And then Clarissa’s hands covered her mouth. “Of course. Why didn’t I think of it before?”
His brows went up. “I’d very much like it if you enlightened me.”
Clarissa gave a quick nod. “What do we know about Tabetha? Yes, she can be rash, like denying a duke’s suit, but she always has a heartfelt reason.”
His jaw went slack as Clarissa’s words hit home, knocking the wind from his chest. “I told her the night we kissed that I liked her.” But he’d never told her that he loved her. Or that he wished to court her or that she made his heart beat wildly in his chest. “Stupid fool.”
Clarissa pressed her lips together. “If she thinks you don’t return her affection, she might be trying to save you from a loveless marriage.”
He shook his head. “But if that’s true then she’d be choosing a loveless marriage with Claremont.”
“That’s Tabby,” Clarissa smiled. “She’d give you her dinner and go hungry if she loves you.”
His hand smacked to his forehead. He’d already known that. Why hadn’t he put it all together? Why hadn’t he seen that she’d been trying to protect him?
Because he’d been too worried about his own insecurities. He’d been too focused on his own injured pride. He looked to Clarissa. “I need to tell her how I feel.”
“I agree,” Clarissa nodded, holding up a single finger. “But I’d recommend not allowing her to interrupt with kissing.”
That made him grin. If he had his way, there’d be a fair bit of both.
“The question is, how and where do I get her to listen?”
“Calling hours?” Clarissa asked.
Luke’s jaw clenched. “I’m not sure that’s wise. The last time was a bit of a disaster.”
Clarissa nodded. “We’re attending the Wilkinson’s ball tonight.”
The ball?
He cocked his head to the side. He did owe her one more dance. What better time to express his affection than on the dance floor where their relationship had begun? “Tonight?”
“Tonight,” Clarissa confirmed.
A smile spread across his face. He’d tell her everything that was
in his heart.
“Now,” Clarissa pointed at his mount. “If you’re intent upon riding, why don’t we go together. My groom can help you.”
He looked over at Lady Clarissa. Tabetha wasn’t the only Rutland sister who was unfailingly kind. “I should like that very much. And while we ride, would you tell me more about Tabetha? The more I know, the better prepared I shall be to sweep her off her feet tonight.”
Clarissa sighed. “Oh, that does sound wonderful. I shall be most happy to help.”
Luke’s smile slipped. He hoped he and Clarissa were correct and that Tabetha did hold an affection for him. Because if she didn’t, he was in for another blow to his pride...and his heart. Not that she wasn’t worth it. She most certainly was.
12
Only a few weeks into her very first season, and Tabetha was officially exhausted.
“Are you certain we needed to make an appearance this evening?” she asked Evelyn for the fifth time.
Evelyn arched her brows. “I’m certain.”
Darius led Tabetha by her elbow as though he were afraid she might bolt and run away from the crush in the Wilkinson’s foyer if he let go.
She sighed. He wasn’t wrong. She might have spent the entire carriage ride here coming up with ways she might escape and head back home.
“It’s essential, Tabetha,” Darius said softly. His voice was low and gruff, but not unkind. “I’ve spoken to the Claremonts and they’ve assured me of their discretion until this matter is settled, but we need to show a united front for society’s sake.”
“Listen to you,” Clarissa said from behind them, her voice light with laughter. She dropped her voice several octaves as she mimicked him. “A united front for society’s sake.”
Tabetha snickered, and even Mariah and Evelyn giggled on Darius’s other side.
“When did you become such a pillar of social grace, Darius?” Clarissa continued.
Darius’s sigh was filled with exasperation. “One of us had to adapt.”
Clarissa’s answering laughter was a little too loud and the other guests walking in front of them turned back to stare. “Touché, brother.”
The Duke’s Darling Debutante Page 9
