by Raven Dark
Raul nodded and squeezed my hand, then stood up. Malek and Z’pheer both kissed my forehead. Then the three of them left, all of them looking as if someone had cut a tether on all of them, setting them adrift.
I slumped back in the chair and ran my hands down my face. God, how did this even happen? My heart ached so badly I clutched my chest.
I sat there for a few minutes, my thoughts divided, tearing me in two all over again. Until the door opened. I lifted my head.
Shelly stepped in, shut the door, and crossed the room to me.
Irritation with the woman reared up. Her eyes shone with pride which made me feel bad for being angry with her, but I wasn’t ready to forgive her. If I ever would be.
“Please leave me alone, Shelly.”
She gave a soft sigh and lowered herself into the chair Raul had vacated. She leaned forward toward me. “They’re sending you home, aren’t they?” she said gently.
I nodded sadly. “If I want to go, they said I could.”
She covered my hand with hers. I flinched, and she drew it back calmly.
“Okay.” She leaned back. “Well, you have almost an hour to decide. Before you do, I want a chance to explain my actions with you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Here we go.” I stood up. “All right, fine. I promised Z’pheer I would let you explain, so…let’s hear it. Let’s hear why you sold me.”
She drew a long breath and stood, pacing the room before facing me. “Danika, I didn’t sell you. Not as you think of it.”
“Huh?”
She put her palms together slowly. “Danika, there’s something I have to show you.”
I dropped my shoulders, waiting.
She bent her head, turning it to the side and pressed her finger gently to her eye. I winced, wondering why she was taking out what must have been a contact. Maybe it was bothering her.
But Shelly lifted her head and crossed the space between us. She held out one finger. A blue contact, slightly darker than her eyes, balanced on the tip.
“Do you see this?” she said softly.
“Yeah. It’s a contact. Big hairy deal.”
She met my eyes. “It isn’t an ordinary contact. It’s a camera, Danika.”
My brows rose. “What?” I looked closely at it. “Why? How?”
“It’s a micro-camera.” She put the contact back in and blinked at me. Wow. One of her eyes was just a little darker than the other, almost unnoticeably so.
“I used to wear the contact when I worked at the Home,” Shelly added. “It isn’t active now, so we can talk freely.”
She drew a deep breath. “I lived at the Home like you for six years. Until I turned eighteen. Until I was taken, like you. By Hadu Haruuk. After the first few years, once Raul was a little older, they began sending me back to Earth. To the Home. For the last forty years, they’ve been watching me. Every move I made, with this.” She pointed to the eye with the camera in it.
Oh, fuck. I knew where this was going. My stomach roiled.
“I was sent back to find Raul a mate. Every few months, I was allowed to come back to see Haruuk and to report on the Home. If I didn’t do everything Vaka Shar’onne said, he made it clear what would happen. He made it clear he was watching me. And if I disobeyed, Sauders was under orders to kill me.”
I closed my eyes. “Oh my God.”
The Vaka. The portrait in the Home. His uncanny resemblance. The benefactor of Xandar Home for Girls wasn’t dead, he lived here. And he’d done this to her. Fuck, I hated him.
When I opened my eyes, her face crumpled, and she took my hands. “You have to understand. They knew everything. When I realized you were a match for Raul, for his Bra’an Bond…”
“You were ordered to have me brought here. Oh, shit, Shelly, I’m so sorry.” My eyes watered, and suddenly I was hugging her.
When I pulled back, she cupped my face. “Danika. I am happy you are here. I am thrilled that you belong to my son, and now apparently Malek and Z’pheer.” She gave a weak smile. “I am not sorry I did what I did. Raul loves you, even if you can’t see it. He loves you in the same way Haruuk loved me—”
“Wait, Raul loves me?” My stomach gave a funny jolt.
She nodded. “They all do. I can see it in their eyes. I am not sorry I brought you here. But I am sorry I couldn’t do it properly. Couldn’t tell you and prepare you for your life here. I’m sorry you were ripped away from Earth, and that you were so terrified. I had no choice.”
I sighed and hugged her again. “I get it. I’m sorry I didn’t hear you out. I hated you so much, and it wasn’t fair. Z’pheer said I didn’t have all the facts, that I was missing something, and he was right. I should have figured something like this was going on.”
She squeezed my arms, heaving a sigh of relief, then lifted her eyes. “Thank God. I couldn’t live with you hating me. Danika, look, I won’t stand in your way, honey. If you want to go back to Earth, I’ll support your decision.”
I dropped my head back, still torn in two over the choice.
She rubbed my arms. “Do you want to go?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know, Shelly. I just…I don’t know.”
“Well, let me put it a better way.” She pushed a few locks of my hair out of my face. “Do you love my son? Do you love Malek and Z’pheer?”
“Yes.” The word slipped out swiftly, like a reflex. As soon as I heard myself say it, I jolted. Oh, God, did I?
She blinked at me, probably shocked by the swiftness of my reply. Like I was.
I turned away and ran my hands through my hair, considering the pain that cut across my heart at the thought of going home. That pain was much stronger than the thought of staying here. I raked my hand through my hair again and turned to her. “Jesus. Shelly, I do love them. I love them so much it hurts.”
“But?”
I dropped my shoulders. “But I…I’d be a slave, Shelly. And I don’t even know if they love me!”
“Don’t you?” She smiled. “Honey, I’ll tell you something. Haruuk didn’t call me An’tanaka to mock me. Well, he did at first. But after a while, the way he said it changed. The way he looked at me. He started to look at me the way Raul and Malek and Z’pheer look at you. And he called me An’tanaka…”
“The way Raul calls me Vahashatai.” I covered my face with my palms.
She was right. I could hear it every time he said it. Every time Z’pheer said alia. I could hear it in the way Malek talked to me now. But was that love? Was I just kidding myself?
“There’s something else.” Shelly took my face again. “I saw your men in
front of the Vaka in there. Danika, no man from this world has ever, ever called a woman by name in front of anyone. And no man has ever walked behind a slave or given her credit for anything. They told everyone in that room that you saved the world. They did something men cannot, do not, ever do here. And they did it for the only reason that could ever make these men respect a woman. Because they love you.”
I shut my eyes and tears fell. They loved me…
“To this world, you may always be a slave. In public, they will treat you as one. They have to. But in their hearts, you will be so much more. You’ll see. It happened to me with Haruuk, and it is happening with you now.”
I opened my eyes and squeezed her hands. Then I hugged her tight. “Thank you. Thank you for keeping me from making the biggest mistake of my life.”
“You’re welcome, lovely.”
I practically ran to the door. When I opened it, I did a double-take. The three of them were standing there like overgrown eavesdropping boys.
“Well?” Raul growled. “Spit it out, woman.” His eyes danced.
My heart swelled huge. I threw my arms around him, around each of them.
Drawing back, I beamed through my tears and cleared my throat. “I hope you guys like burnt food, ‘cause you’re going to be getting it for a long time.”
Raul yanked me to him and lifted me two feet off the fl
oor with a growl of joy. He laid a long hot kiss on me, and I groaned into his mouth.
Instead of setting me down, he lifted me into Malek’s arms. I whooped and wrapped my arms around him, kissing him hard.
An instant later, Z’pheer had me, and he lifted me up by the waist. He spun me around, and his lips crushed mine.
Maybe they’d never say it out loud, but if ever a woman could feel love from a man in a kiss or an embrace, I felt it now.
Z’pheer set me down, and Raul turned me gently into his arms.
“Question,” Raul said.
“Yes, my love?”
He smirked at that. “What made you change your mind? And don’t say it was my mother. She’s always interfering, and I don’t want you staying here because of her.”
Shelly coughed in the doorway. “I heard that, Raul.”
He ignored her.
I heaved a pretend sigh and laid my hand on his cheek, then did the same for the others when I saw they were all waiting for my answer. I took the scary step and said the most frightening words I’d never said in my life.
“I’m not staying because of Shelly. I’m staying because I love you.”
Malek made a low sound of approval in his throat. He and Z’pheer squeezed me close. As soon as they released me, Raul pulled me to him and pressed my head to his chest.
His voice was low and secretive in my ear. “In case you haven’t figured it out, Vahashatai…we love you too.”
I almost collapsed.
“Breathe, woman,” Malek said with a grin. All I had to do was look at that grin, and I knew he felt the same as Raul.
Z’pheer squeezed my ass and leaned in. “Remember, alia. Breathe in and out.”
I giggled.
We went back into the room where Vaka Shar’onne waited and told him the news.
37
Home
One Xandari year later…
I was standing by the window in the upper tower of the palace, looking out across what was once a half-ruined world. The landscapes of Xandar had finally started transforming into real cities, ones built from the hard work of tireless men. Under the planet’s two pearl moons, the cities that sprawled for miles glittered like jewels, a Mecca of beauty. A year had passed, and yet the alien-ness of the world still pulled me in; I couldn’t get enough of looking at it.
The Rith were gone, but they’d left so many bruises, so much damage on the world, it had taken a long time to get it back to whatever half-normal state it had been before the first war with the Rith. And still, there was more work to do.
For months, ships of all kinds often flew above the cities, some Xandari, some from other planets, many with aliens who flew in to help the Xandari pick up the pieces and rebuild.
Since the day we arrived home with the weapon, I’d rarely seen Raul. He was so busy running around like a chicken with its head cut off, helping the people rebuild, he was rarely here. I’d have been worried, except he insisted on calling me every few hours on the now functional coms. And when he was home…
Oh, when he was home. I loved when he was here. The man almost never let me out of his sight, or his bed.
His absence made it easier for me to spend time with Z’pheer when he wasn’t out at the various medical facilities helping the wounded. And Malek, when he wasn’t out helping to train and recruit new soldiers for the Order. When we were all together, though, we spent a lot of time designing our new home. It was still in the works, months of work left to do before we could move in, but for now, we were content to stay at the palace.
Sivak, Raul’s successor, hadn’t been coronated yet, so we were free to live here until our new place was ready.
I looked up at the sky, letting the cool, crisp night air whip at my hair, with Tarku laying on my feet. I loved being up here where I could see the whole city. Sometimes, it seemed like it built itself by magic, each morning the buildings higher. Lights from homes and establishments twinkled in the darkness like a thousand stars.
I missed Earth sometimes, when the devastation of the world got to be too much, or when I heard someone singing to the men or playing a tune for the work crews in the city. But it hurt less these days. And it helped that Raul and his men often had me sing for them at night while they held me.
I might not have been famous, but they made me feel like I was, if only to them.
Tarku shifted position, letting out a small sound, apparently lost in one of his doggie dreams. I looked down, stroking his ears, empathy tugging at me for him. He missed Raul as much as I did. So many times I’d found him sleeping in Raul’s spot on his bed as if to keep it warm for him, or waiting at the gates for his master’s return.
Oh, did I mention, Tarku and I were officially best buds? What could I say? I was a sucker for cute things.
“Are you still up, Ra Vahashatai.” Raul’s voice was deep and silky in my ear as his arms slid around my waist from behind. He pressed his lips to my neck.
I smiled and ran my hands over his. “I couldn’t sleep without a big strong man’s arms around me,” I half teased.
He squeezed me tight. “Better?”
“Much. I missed you.” I turned my face up to meet his ravenous kiss. He groaned and let the kiss linger, cupping my chin. I drew back. “Spaceman, this is where you’re supposed to tell me you missed me, too.”
He smirked. “Fishing for sentiments, are you?” He swatted my ass.
“Yes.” I turned and leaned against the windowsill.
“I’d rather show you.” He captured my hand and hauled me over to the bed in the middle of the room, then threw me on it in one move.
I laid on my back and slipped my arms around him.
“Where are Malek and Z’pheer?” he asked.
“Z’pheer’s at the clinic again. Malek is still in the training yard. They’ll be home later.”
He rolled over and pinned my hands down, nipping my neck. “Which means I have you all to myself.”
I closed my eyes in pleasure. This man never failed to make my pulse race.
“Are you excited about your birthday tomorrow?” He nuzzled my neck.
“Very, very excited.”
I expected him to rip my silk robe off me, but instead he lay beside me and rested his head in his hand. “You know you still haven’t made the wish Vaka Shar’onne promised you.”
I pursed my lips, considering that. “I know.”
“Have you thought about what you want?” He pealed the robe open, baring my chest for him, and dropped a kiss there.
“I have. A lot. I honestly can’t think of anything. Nothing he can actually give me.”
He nodded and placed his big hand on the middle of my chest, over my racing heart. “Danika.”
I gazed up at him. “Yes, my love.”
“I want an honest answer from you.”
I cocked my head. “About?”
“Do you ever miss Earth?”
The concern in his eyes made my heart squeeze. “Sometimes,” I said softly.
He jutted his chin as if my answer had been evasive. “I mean, do you ever wish you had gone home?”
I put my arms around him and snuggled into him. “I’m with the men I love, Raul. I am home.”
“Danika, come on, hurry up and get in here, you’re late!” As soon as I came up the steps to the club’s back stage doors, Shelly reached out of them and grabbed my hand, pulling me inside.
“Well, if Sho’Lah is gone already, you can blame your son,” I said with half annoyance. “Every time I put one of these things on, he loses his damn mind. And so do the other two.”
She flicked a look at my outfit—a tighter fitting slave’s tunic Raul insisted I wear—and smirked, pulling me through the crowd toward the backstage lounge area. “I’ll have to have a talk with him about his timing.”
Butterflies danced in my belly the closer we came to the doors that led backstage. It was my nineteenth birthday, and my guys had insisted I be given a gift—a chance to meet Sho’
Lah, one of the best singers in Xandar’s star system, live and in person.
When we reached the doors, Malek moved in front of them and blocked them. “There you are, gorgeous.” He straightened my hair.
I kissed him. “Malek, there’s no time. He’s very busy, and Raul’s already made me late.”
“I’m going in with you.”
I laughed. “Since when are you into hot male singers?”
“You think he’s hot?” he growled, his dark eyes burning.
I chuckled. “Relax, Malek, there’s only three hot men for me.”
“Good to hear.” He touched my chin and grinned, putting his hand on the doorknob. What the hell was he up to?
He opened the door and led me into the large, brightly lit lounge.
I expected to see the famous singer I’d come there to meet and gush over. Instead, a yellow-skinned alien with beautiful eyes and a leather suit stood up and smiled at me.
“She’s here, Halrek.”
I gave Malek a baffled look. Who was he?
Halrek put his hand out for a shake, somewhat awkwardly. “I hope I’m doing this right. This is what humans do, yes?”
I grinned and put my hand in his. “You got it right. Hi?” Obviously, the man had no issue with treating slaves like equals. It was refreshing.
“Hello, Danika of Earth,” Halrek said. “I’ve been waiting to meet you a long time. Almost a year.”
I blinked. “Me? Why? Where is Sho’Lah? I was supposed to meet… what’s going on?” I gave Malek a shrewd look.
“Sho’Lah isn’t here,” Halrek said. “You were supposed to meet me. Have a seat.”
“Oh-kay?” I lowered myself into a chair opposite him.
Halrek leaned toward me. “You don’t know who I am, do you?” His blue eyes sparkled.
I shook my head.
“Gotta love the new talent.” He winked at Malek, who snorted.
“Huh? Wait…t—talent?” My heart started to stutter.
“Yes.” He drew himself up. “Danika, my name is Halrek Gudan. I work for some of the biggest singers in this part of the galaxy. Including Sho’Lah. I work for them as what your world would call an agent.”
