Beth and I didn’t go out for lunch together again in case anyone became suspicious but The Owl and Pussycat Tearoom remained our place. Every Friday night we booked the same table and every Friday night, I fell a little more deeply in love with her. I didn’t tell her in case I scared her off but I was sure she had to know from the way I held her and kissed her.
In early November, six weeks after that first kiss, we added Tuesdays at the cinema to our routine. Every evening together ended in the same way – lingering, passionate kisses which left us both breathless – but there was never any suggestion of taking things further.
One evening after we left the cinema, I suggested I make her a meal at Alder Lea the following Tuesday for a change.
She smiled sweetly while shaking her head. ‘We agreed to take things slowly and, if I come back to yours or have you over to mine, that’s not going to happen.’
‘I promise I’d never pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do.’
‘That’s the problem. I do want to take things further but I can’t. I’m not ready.’
‘I know that. But it’s only a meal. I’m not expecting anything else.’
She lightly traced her finger across my lips. ‘Have you any idea how irresistible you are, Josh? I’d be the problem. Not you. I’d want you for dessert. And I can’t cross that line. Not yet.’
Not yet – which translated as ‘but it will happen in the future.’ So we stuck to our routine. It didn’t matter that sex wasn’t on the agenda – yet – because everything about our relationship was different to anything I’d experienced before. I loved her and was sure she loved me. We were taking it slowly but, for the first time ever, I was in a relationship that felt like it was going somewhere.
Then two weeks before Christmas – after nearly three months together – she ended it.
Her married man was back on the scene. He knew she was seeing someone else and he couldn’t bear it. He loved her, missed her, wanted her back.
‘He’s finally left his wife then?’ I asked.
She lowered her eyes. ‘He’s going to.’
‘Jesus, Beth! So nothing’s changed?’
‘It has. He’s realised he made a mistake and he’s definitely going to end it after New Year.’
‘New Year? Why not now?’
‘He can hardly leave his wife just before Christmas, can he?’
‘No, of course not. Not when he can have his cake and eat it,’ I snapped.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘He’s jealous of you for being with another man so he gets you to dump me yet he gets to spend Christmas and New Year with his wife and kid while you’re all alone waiting for him to grow a pair. Again.’
‘It’s not like that.’
‘It’s exactly like it. Why would you let him do that to you?’
‘I can’t help it. I love him!’
‘And I love you!’
I’m not sure who gasped the loudest. I certainly hadn’t meant to say it and Beth clearly hadn’t expected to hear it. She muttered that she was sorry and ran to her car, leaving me standing in the rain outside the cinema, scrunching up two wasted tickets to a Christmas romcom.
That Christmas was bleak. New Year was no better. At work, I could have won an Oscar for my performance as the brilliant boss rather than the broken boyfriend. But that’s what I was. Broken. So that was how it felt to be dumped? Being in love sucked.
By the end of January, I was no closer to getting over Beth than I’d been that night outside the cinema. Putting on an act all day at work was knackering so I spent evenings welded to the sofa, staring numbly at the TV, nursing a single bottle of lager. I hated what I’d become, resented what she’d done to me, and I constantly berated myself for getting involved in the first place when I’d known the risks.
Lewis and I usually went out to the pub on a Wednesday – his night off from his job as bar manager at Aversford Manor – but I couldn’t face it. The only company I craved was Beth’s.
After too many cancellations in a row, Lewis turned up at Alder Lea and plied me with drink until I spilled my guts. He wasn’t impressed that I hadn’t told him about Beth, but how could I? The connection between Lewis and Dad was too strong. Something would have slipped out and I’d promised Beth that nobody at work would ever hear it from me.
‘I can’t stand this. I want her back,’ I told Lewis. ‘I’d even be the other bloke if it meant I could be with her.’
‘That’s the drink talking, mate. You don’t want that.’
A few days later, I sprinted across to Alder Lea after work in torrential rain and stopped dead as a figure rose from my doorstep. ‘Beth?’
She was bedraggled, her hair plastered to her face, her clothes clinging to her body.
My pulse raced. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I messed up.’
My legs seemed to have lost their ability to move so I stood there, staring at her, my rain-sodden shirt clinging to me.
She took a step closer. ‘We never got back together. He wouldn’t leave his wife.’
‘I’m sorry.’ I wasn’t.
‘I’ve missed you.’ Another step closer. ‘Did you mean what you said before Christmas?’
I nodded numbly.
A couple more steps. ‘And now?’
‘The same.’
She was within touching distance and the air crackled between us.
‘I love you too.’
She threw herself at me and we kissed in the downpour then stumbled, locked together, towards the house, down the hall and into the lounge. I had questions but I didn’t want to ask them. I had worries but I didn’t want to voice them. I just wanted Beth.
In total, we were together for nearly two years on and off. Two turbulent years during which she confused the hell out of me by being all over me one week then pushing me away the next. I’d never have considered myself as someone who responded to games yet every pushback weirdly made me want her more. Had I enjoyed the chase? Had I seen her as a challenge? I must have done otherwise why would I have put up with all her crap?
Sam murmured something in her sleep, bringing me back to the present. I turned onto my side and the tension ebbed away as I lightly placed my hand over hers.
My phone ringing was a welcome interruption to fretting about Beth’s reappearance. I whispered to Sam that I’d been called out. She mumbled something about missing me then turned over and fell straight back to sleep. I lightly kissed her cheek then pulled on some clothes and headed out into the darkness.
Beth wasn’t welcome in my life or in my head and if she had the audacity to show up again, I’d tell her that and make sure she understood it this time. I didn’t care how many tears she cried or how much she pleaded. I wasn’t falling for that again. I had a new life, a new love and a new future and Beth, my dad and their family would never be part of it. They meant nothing to me.
7
Samantha
Bank holiday Monday arrived with a chorus of birds chirping in the trees out the front and sunlight filtering through a gap where I hadn’t closed the curtains properly.
I smiled as I opened my eyes and stretched. It had been one heck of a weekend so far – emotional yet exciting, exhausting yet exhilarating – and now I was looking forward to a quiet, drama-free day with my amazing boyfriend.
I turned onto my side to look at Josh but he was in a deep sleep, his chest steadily rising and falling, his dark hair all mussed up. His soft lips, slightly parted, looked so kissable but I had to resist. He’d been called out in the early hours and hadn’t returned until after 5.30 a.m. so it wouldn’t be fair to disturb him.
Rolling onto my back, I snuggled into my pillows and cast my gaze round the bedroom. I’d moved into the farmhouse exactly a month ago today and I’d loved it instantly. Before now, the only time I’d properly felt at home anywhere was when I’d stayed at Meadowcroft – Nanna and Gramps’s bungalow – but I got that same feeling of be
longing at Hedgehog Hollow. It was as though the farm had been destined to be my home.
With three storeys and seven bedrooms, the farmhouse was enormous but it never felt that way, especially when Josh was with me. It felt cosy. It felt complete. I felt complete and as though something was missing when he wasn’t here.
I glanced at Josh again. Was it too soon to suggest he officially move in? He’d only spent three nights at Wisteria Cottage over the past month so he’d practically moved in anyway. He had his own key. He had his own wardrobe and chest of drawers in the bedroom which were steadily filling with his clothes. He’d even moved his desk from the cottage into one of the spare bedrooms so he could catch up on paperwork at home instead of staying late at the practice. It would be amazing waking up next to him every day in our home.
I crept out of bed, pulled on a hoodie over my PJs and went downstairs to feed Thomas’s cat, Misty-Blue, who had thankfully adopted Josh and me as her new owners. She was a beautiful, affectionate, grey-striped tabby cat with a fondness for sprawling across my knee or clambering up onto my shoulders.
I made a coffee in my hedgehog mug and took it outside. Misty-Blue followed me and jumped up beside me as I sat on Thomas’s bench – a sturdy wooden one overlooking the garden and the stunning wildflower meadow beyond it which he and Gwendoline had sowed before she took ill. It was my favourite place at Hedgehog Hollow and I always felt close to Thomas when I sat there.
‘Yesterday was a huge success,’ I said, raising my mug towards the meadow. ‘And we had another new arrival. Arwen’s our twentieth. Can you believe that? You were so right to have this vision. Thank you for trusting me with it.’
It was so peaceful sitting there, stroking Misty-Blue while I sipped on my coffee, watching the birds and butterflies flitting across a rainbow canvas of flowers and listening to the chirps and the low buzz of insects.
‘I have a question. Do you think I should ask Josh to move in with me?’
My heart raced and goose bumps broke out on my arms as a pair of rabbits emerged from the meadow. They chased each other round the garden for a minute or so before disappearing back into the wildflowers.
‘I’ll take that as a yes,’ I whispered to Misty-Blue who gave a loud purr. ‘I know it’s quick but it doesn’t feel like it, not after everything we’ve been through. It just feels right.’
When I’d finished my drink, I leaned back with my head tilted towards the blue sky and let the morning sun warm my cheeks.
A crunch of gravel a few minutes later made me open my eyes. I smiled as Josh approached.
‘I thought I might find you out here.’ He leaned forward and his lips met mine for a soft, lingering kiss, making my heart race once more.
He picked up Misty-Blue then sat down beside me with the cat on his knee. ‘Have you been talking to Thomas?’
‘I know it’s probably daft but I think he’d have liked it.’
Josh put his arm round me. ‘Not daft at all. I think it’s sweet that you still talk to him. Did you tell him about yesterday?’
I nodded. ‘And I asked him a very important question.’
‘Did he answer?’
I pictured the rabbits bounding across the lawn. ‘He did. So now I have a very important question for you.’ I placed my empty mug down on the gravel and adjusted position to face him better. Butterflies swooped and soared in my stomach but I knew it was excitement rather than nerves. Nothing about my future with Josh made me feel nervous.
‘You know how you sometimes drive home via Wisteria Cottage to collect clothes or paperwork?’
‘Yes…?’
‘What if you didn’t have to do that anymore because everything you needed was here?’
The wide smile and twinkly eyes suggested he’d just realised where this was heading and he liked the idea. ‘That would be pretty great.’
‘Hedgehog Hollow has always felt like our home rather than mine. It never feels right when you’re not here so the hedgehogs and I were wondering whether you’d like to give notice on Wisteria Cottage and move in here permanently.’
Josh gently cupped my face in his hands and gave me the most tender, loving, heart-melting kiss. He lightly ran his thumbs across my cheeks as he pulled away, smiling. ‘I’d love to. Thank you.’ He lifted up Misty-Blue and scratched her behind her ears. ‘And are you happy for me to officially move in?’ She gave a gentle mew in response. ‘Looks like the boss approves.’
He put his arm round me again and I cuddled against him as Misty-Blue stretched across both our laps. ‘It’s been a pretty special weekend all round,’ he said. ‘If we ignore the Beth-shaped blip and me getting stuck inside Mickleby, I’d say it’s been pretty much perfect.’
Gazing at the meadow, stroking our cat, feeling so loved and in love, that moment was pretty perfect too and I liked to think that, after all the heartache I’d experienced in my life so far, this was Thomas and Gwendoline, Nanna and Gramps finally sending me some peace and happiness.
I spent the morning in the barn, finishing clearing away after the Family Fun Day and checking on the hedgehogs while Josh went to Wisteria Cottage to start packing.
Arwen’s cuts were already showing signs of healing and our other patients were all making good progress. I couldn’t stop smiling at the thought of Josh moving in permanently. The three nights he’d stayed at Wisteria Cottage instead of Hedgehog Hollow, I’d missed him so much. Misty-Blue had been restless and so had I. Josh was part of our family and we needed him with us.
Around late morning, I heard the crunch of gravel in the farmyard. It was too soon for Josh to be back so I put down Frodo’s medical chart, picked up a pair of gloves and made my way towards the barn door, expecting a new arrival.
A car raced towards the farm track and soon disappeared from view, leaving behind a cloud of dust.
‘That’s weird,’ I muttered to myself. I was about to turn back to the barn when I spotted a cardboard box in the middle of the farmyard. I wandered over to it, opened the flaps and leapt back squealing.
Heart thumping, palms sweating, I took a few deep calming breaths then pulled on my gloves, crouched down and tentatively flicked open the flaps once more. A few flies escaped while others remained inside the box, buzzing round the hedgehogs’ carcasses. As I carefully moved each aside, it became clear they were all victims of roadkill. Seven of them. My heart broke.
Blinking back the tears, I closed the flaps with shaking hands and carried the box over to the barn where I gently placed it down a little way from the entrance. Those poor little mites would need to go to Josh’s veterinary practice for cremation.
Who’d do something like that? It was sick – which meant it had to be the Grimes boys or, if they’d already been locked up, it had to be one of their relatives. I hoped they hadn’t been the cause of the deaths although I wouldn’t put it past them to deliberately drive at hedgehogs or other wildlife ‘for fun’.
Ten minutes later, I heard another vehicle outside and my heart started racing once more. Please don’t let it be them. Thankfully, it was a man probably in his forties wearing a suit, who stepped out of a shiny car. He waved at me before opening the back door.
‘Morning,’ I said, striding over to him. ‘Do you have a hedgehog for me?’
‘I have a pair of them. My mum found them in her garden this morning or rather her Yorkshire Terrier did. They don’t look so good.’
‘Did the dog bite them?’
‘No. He’s all bark and no bite. Far too scared to go close to them.’ He thrust a cardboard box towards me. ‘I’m meant to be at a wedding right now but Mum was bordering on hysteria when she phoned me, worried they’d die if they weren’t treated immediately.’ He rolled his eyes at me. ‘Do you need me to stay?’ The expression on his face suggested he was hoping for a no.
‘No. You get back to the wedding but can I take your number or your mum’s?’ I placed the box on the ground, dropped my gloves on top of it and whipped my phone out.
‘Why do you need that?’
‘To see if your mum would like them releasing back into her garden.’
‘No thanks. You can release them here. If they survive.’
Before I had a chance to say another word, he jumped back in his car and sped away.
It wasn’t ideal having no contact details. We were approaching babies’ season and if a mum was taken away from her hoglets, I needed to make sure there wasn’t a nest of little ones nearby who’d have no chance of survival on their own.
‘Let’s see what we have here.’ I took the box into the barn, placed it on the treatment table and peeked inside. ‘Oh, you poor things.’
Two adult hedgehogs were curled up next to each other, surrounded by urine and faeces. Neither the man nor his mum had thought to put anything in the box like newspapers or towels to keep them warm and provide a safe space to hide under. Both hedgehogs had mange and one case was particularly severe.
I grabbed a fresh plastic crate, lined it with a puppy training pad then added in a mixture of newspaper and fleece strips before placing the hog with the less severe condition inside.
They were my first hedgehogs with mange but likely the first of many. Triggered by parasite mites burrowing through the skin then laying eggs, it was a common and extremely painful disease for hogs. Restricted by their spines, they were unable to scratch so the pain would steadily become more intense. Spines could fall out and a hedgehog with a severe case could be covered in dead caked-on skin to the point where they could barely move, meaning they couldn’t eat or drink and they couldn’t protect themselves from predators.
I lifted the other hedgehog out of the cardboard box. As I turned it round for a closer inspection, I could see that the dead and damaged skin was preventing it from fully unfurling which meant it was extremely dehydrated and likely starving.
New Arrivals at Hedgehog Hollow Page 5
