No response.
‘Sam?’
‘I’m in the lounge.’ Her words were quiet and slow.
I pushed open the door and flicked on the light. She was lying on the sofa with a folded flannel across her forehead and a box of tissues resting on her stomach. She squinted in the brightness.
I felt sick with relief to find her safe. ‘What’s happened?’ I asked anxiously, perching on the sofa beside her. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks were flushed and she was surrounded by scrunched up tissues.
‘Ripley’s dead,’ she wailed, releasing a fresh torrent of tears.
I gasped. ‘When? How?’
‘I don’t know.’ She gave a loud sniff and grabbed at a tissue from the box. ‘I don’t get it. Gollum’s mange was far more severe and he’s doing really well. I was never worried about Ripley. She always seemed fine. It’s my fault for not being here full-time. I could have spotted something else wrong if I had been.’
‘You can’t think like that,’ I said, hugging her tightly and stroking her hair. ‘You’d treated Ripley’s mange and there was nothing else obviously wrong with her.’
She pulled away and shook her head. ‘I could have missed something. What if I do that again? I had years of training to make me competent as a nurse and what have I done to get qualified for this? A bit of reading and some work experience? I’m not a vet. What made me think I could do it?’ Her voice kept breaking with sobs.
I took both her hands in mine and looked her in the eyes. ‘Listen to me carefully, Samantha Wishaw, hedgehog lady.’ The nickname drew the weakest of smiles. ‘You are brilliant at what you do and you are more than qualified and capable of running Hedgehog Hollow and saving thousands of hedgehogs. You know exactly what you’re doing and you defer to me and your dad for the more complex stuff which is exactly what happens in rescue centres the length and breadth of the country. You didn’t miss anything because there was nothing to miss. I couldn’t see anything wrong with Ripley other than the mange. Animals die. It’s sad. It hurts. But it happens. Ripley could simply have been old. It could have been her time.’
Tears rained silently down Sam’s cheeks but the agonised sobs had ceased. I released one of her hands, grabbed a tissue and gently wiped her cheeks. It was heartbreaking seeing her like this. The last time I’d seen her in so much pain was when she’d returned from Whitsborough Bay after her mum chose to sever all ties with her. I hugged her again.
‘There’s something else,’ she whispered, pulling away. ‘I went to collect a hedgehog in Fimberley after work. This woman had been trying to get hold of me all afternoon and she had a right go at me because I hadn’t answered the phone—’
‘That’s unfair,’ I interrupted, feeling incensed for her. ‘You’ve got to ignore people like that.’
‘That’s not the worst part. She made out she didn’t know what had happened to the hedgehog and she said it wasn’t bleeding so I assumed it wasn’t too serious. She was going on holiday so she left it on her doorstep for me to collect but when I…’
Her voice broke with a huge shuddering sob and I held her once more until she was able to control her breathing.
‘When I collected her, she was already dead. The woman had lied. She was covered in blood and puncture wounds.’
‘Dog?’
Sam nodded. ‘The woman’s dog, I think.’ She wiped her wet cheeks and took a deep breath. ‘I noticed that she was pregnant. I didn’t think there was any chance of the hoglets being alive if she was but…’
Tears streamed down her face again and she clung onto me.
‘You found babies?’ I asked gently.
‘Five. All gone.’
‘Oh, Sam. I’m so sorry.’ I’d be lying if I said that animals dying never affected me but it was a regular part of my job and I’d found ways of coping with even the most traumatic or senseless deaths over the years, but seeing the pain through Sam’s eyes, I found myself welling up too.
‘I was too late. What if I’d been able to pick up that first call and go to Fimberley immediately? I might have saved them all.’
‘And you might not. You can’t deal in what ifs? And you can’t blame yourself for every hedgehog who doesn’t make it.’
We sat there, arms round each other, as the minutes ticked by. Ever so gradually the tension eased from Sam’s body and she eventually released her hold on me.
She gazed at the collection of dirty tissues and sighed. ‘Sorry. Major meltdown.’
I gave her a reassuring smile. ‘Everyone’s entitled to one of those every so often. But will you do something for me?’
‘Pick up the snotty tissues?’
I laughed. ‘Well, yeah, but that wasn’t what I was going to suggest.’
‘Okay. What do you want me to do?’
‘Repeat after me: I, Samantha Wishaw, am a badass hedgehog saviour.’
She smiled and rolled her eyes at me. ‘I’m not saying that.’
‘You have to. It’s what Ripley would have wanted.’
‘Josh!’
‘Seriously. It is. How can you deny a hedgehog’s final wish?’
‘Oh my gosh. Go on, then. I, Samantha Wishaw, am a badass hedgehog saviour.’
I frowned and looked round the lounge then back at her. ‘Did you hear something? I thought I heard some whispering but I couldn’t quite make it out.’
She smiled again and repeated the words more loudly and confidently this time.
‘Much better. And now say: I am the best thing that ever happened to hedgehogs in Yorkshire.’
She rolled her eyes once more but repeated the words with conviction. ‘Thanks, Josh. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
‘You’ll never be without me.’ I cupped her face and gently kissed her. ‘You look done in. Why don’t you have a bath?’
‘I can’t. I haven’t fed the hedgehogs and I haven’t made anything to eat.’
‘I’ll sort the hedgehogs then go out for a takeaway. You have a relax.’
Sam squeezed my hand. ‘Ripley’s on the table under a fleece and the mum and babies are under…’ She sobbed again.
‘It’s okay. I’ll sort it.’
I waited until I heard the bath running then headed over to the barn. I shook my head as I reached the treatment table and clocked the grey fleece and the puppy pad covering the bodies. Poor Sam. What a shitty evening she’d had.
Pulling on a pair of gloves, I removed the fleece and picked up Ripley’s stiff body. Sam had done such an amazing job of clearing up the mange. There was no sign of flystrike or other parasites and I stood by what I’d said earlier; it had probably been Ripley’s time. The fact that she hadn’t been pregnant when she came in suggested she was an older hedgehog.
I placed her in a carry crate then lifted the puppy pad and swallowed the lump in my throat as I imagined Sam gently laying each baby round the mother hedgehog so they’d remain close even in death. It was such a Sam thing to do and one of the many reasons I loved her so much: she cared about everyone and everything.
After examining them, I transferred the family into the carry case beside Ripley, lying them together like Sam had done. She’d questioned whether she could have saved the hoglets if she’d got to Fimberley sooner but three of the five had puncture wounds and the other two had likely been crushed in the attack. She couldn’t have saved the mum either. The dog’s teeth had caught her heart and intestines. I wouldn’t be surprised if the hedgehog wasn’t already dead by the time the dog released its hold. The news wouldn’t provide Sam with much comfort but it would hopefully ease the guilt she was clearly feeling for not responding to the call immediately.
I placed the crate by the door alongside the blood-covered cardboard box to take to work for incineration then checked on the rest of the hedgehogs, administering any treatment they needed and putting out fresh food and water. As I worked, I couldn’t shake my own feeling of guilt that I hadn’t been back sooner to help her. She’d had to text to beg me to
come home. How bad was that? If it hadn’t been for me going to Mum’s to talk to her about Beth, I’d have been there for her. Jesus! That bloody woman again, causing problems. And I’d never even had a chance to mention her visit to Mum. That delight would have to wait for another day.
13
Samantha
I hadn’t expected to sleep after the upset over Ripley and the Fimberley hedgehog family but the lavender bubble bath, the camomile tea and the sheer exhaustion did the trick. I slept longer and deeper than I’d done since returning from hospital, waking up shortly before nine.
The bedroom door swung open and Josh stepped inside. ‘Thought you might like breakfast in bed,’ he announced, placing a tray on the bed beside me and sitting down. ‘I nipped out to get some croissants from the bakery in Great Tilbury. They’re still warm.’
‘They smell delicious.’ I felt hungry for the first time in a week.
He passed me a mug of coffee. ‘You’ll have to make do with rabbits today. I couldn’t find your hedgehog mug.’
‘Erm… it got broken.’
‘Oh no! How?’
I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I reached for a croissant and busied myself adding some butter and jam to it. ‘I… erm…’ Misty-Blue entered the room and jumped onto the bed. ‘It was Misty-Blue. She got under my feet and I dropped it outside after you were called out on Thursday. I was gutted.’
‘We’ll have to see if we can replace it.’
I took a bite of croissant and my mouth watered at the taste of the soft, warm, buttery pastry. Delicious. The first one went down quickly and I even managed most of a second.
‘How are you feeling this morning?’ Josh asked as we settled back against the pillows with our drinks.
‘Sad but better after a good sleep. I’d probably have been okay if it had been Ripley or the Fimberley family but it was a bit much having both together.’
‘It was a tough day but it’s rare to get days like that. You know that, don’t you?’
I nodded. ‘Thank goodness because I don’t know if I could cope with many of them.’
‘You could and do you know why? Because you’re a badass hedgehog saviour.’ He held his hand up for me to high five. ‘I think you should get that put on your business cards and flyers.’
‘Better than hedgehog lady,’ I said, laughing. ‘But maybe not one for the kids.’
‘You know what I think you should do today?’
‘Help you move in?’
‘No. I think you should go across to Whitsborough Bay and have a proper catch-up with Chloe and your Auntie Louise. You said you felt bad for not getting to speak to them much last weekend so this could be your chance.’
‘That’s a really good idea.’
‘Stick with me and you’ll find I’m a goldmine of ideas.’
‘Goldmine or not, I’m more than happy to stick with you.’ I cuddled up against him, feeling so lucky to have found him.
When I rang Chloe, apologising that it was last-minute, she said she’d love to see me. Auntie Louise had gone to York for the day with some work friends and James was playing golf with Toby so the company would be welcome and we could have an undisturbed catch-up.
A sunny drive across to Whitsborough Bay was just what I needed. I turned up my music and sang along to some cheesy pop classics, feeling cheerier with each song. I drove along the seafront, where the tide was out and South Bay beach was busy with families enjoying a sunny Saturday on the golden sands. I saw people eating fish and chips or ice-creams and children squealing with delight on the small rides outside the arcades.
I continued past the harbour, over the River Abbleby via the swing bridge, round the headland and towards the quieter North Bay. The wide pathway next to the sea wall was busy with tourists and locals out walking, jogging or cycling. With my window down, I breathed in the salty air and smiled at the squawk of gulls. It was busy, loud and vibrant – a contrast to the tranquillity of Hedgehog Hollow. I would always love Whitsborough Bay and be thrilled to visit but it wasn’t my home anymore. I belonged on the Wolds now with Josh and my hedgehogs.
I pulled up outside Chloe and James’s house feeling calm and relaxed and looking forward to a long overdue catch-up. We hadn’t had any quality time together, just the two of us, since before the wedding and it would be another significant step in moving forward.
The lounge window was open and, as soon as I exited my car, I could hear Samuel’s cries. The door flew open to reveal a frazzled-looking Chloe with Samuel in her arms, red-faced, fists balled. ‘He’s just woken up,’ she said by way of a greeting. ‘Make yourself a drink and I’ll be down soon.’
I felt uncomfortable pottering round Chloe’s kitchen while she was upstairs. The words ‘I love you Chloe’ were spelt out in magnetic letters on the fridge door and there was a collage on the wall of photos of them together. Although I had absolutely no feelings for James anymore, I still couldn’t help feeling uneasy looking at so many indicators of how happy they were together when that’s what I’d longed for with James. Once. Not now. How I felt about Josh eclipsed what I’d felt for James.
I’d finished my coffee by the time Chloe came back down. ‘Do you want him?’ She thrust Samuel at me before I had a chance to respond.
‘Hello, gorgeous,’ I said to him. ‘Have you been a good boy for your mummy?’
‘He’s very loud,’ Chloe responded, sounding weary.
‘Babies generally are. How are you finding motherhood?’
She shrugged. ‘The lack of sleep is a shock to the system but I’m sure I’ll get used to it.’ She scraped her messy long, blonde hair back into a ponytail and I couldn’t help noticing that she was wearing sweatpants and a stained T-shirt. Very un-Chloe.
‘Can we talk about something other than babies?’ She rolled her eyes at me. ‘It’s all anyone seems to be capable of talking about these days. What’s new with you?’
‘Josh is moving in with me.’
Chloe frowned. ‘That’s not new. He already lives with you.’
‘He doesn’t.’
‘He does.’
Why was she arguing with me on something she knew nothing about? I fought to keep the frustration out of my voice. ‘I can see why you’d think that because he has stayed over most nights but it was never official that Hedgehog Hollow was his home and I wanted it to be. I asked him on Sunday and he said yes.’
The frown was still there. ‘Oh. Congratulations on continuing to do what you were already doing. I’m very happy for you both.’
I winced at the lack of enthusiasm in her voice. When I’d FaceTimed Hannah with the news, she’d squealed with excitement and wanted to know all the details about what I’d said and how Josh had reacted. I’d been sure that Chloe’s response would be the same. Once upon a time it would have been.
It would have probably made sense to shut up and change subject but I kept going. ‘He’s moving his stuff across today so coming to see you was the perfect excuse to avoid lugging boxes.’
Chloe’s eyes widened. ‘So that’s why it was a last-minute thing. You wouldn’t have bothered otherwise. Thanks for that, Samantha.’
She only ever used my full name when she was mad with me although her tone of voice already made that clear. ‘That’s not how it was.’
‘It’s fine. I get it. I traipsed across to the farm two days in a row last weekend to be there for you but you can only be bothered to visit me when you want to avoid being the removals service. Good to know where I stand.’ She smiled sweetly at me while every word dripped with sarcasm.
‘Do you want me to go?’ I asked, now unable to keep the frustration out of my voice. This wasn’t how I’d imagined spending the afternoon.
‘Do you want to go?’
‘Of course not! I came across to spend time with you and I was really looking forward to it because I’ve had a horrendous couple of weeks but if you’re—’
‘What’s happened?’ Chloe suddenly looked all interested.
‘What?’
‘You said you’ve had a horrendous couple of weeks. I thought life on the farm was perfect. What’s being going on?’
I couldn’t decide if she was being genuine or sarcastic. ‘You really want to know?’
She nodded vigorously. ‘I’m all ears.’
‘For starters, there’ve been a couple more incidents with the Grimes boys…’
I told Chloe about the delivery of dead hedgehogs and yesterday’s traumatic losses. I also confessed to my near-fainting incident and how I had no idea how I was going to be able to balance my teaching role with running the rescue centre. With the recent distance between us, I hadn’t expected Chloe to be the first person I opened up to.
The more problems I described, the more animated she seemed to get, asking questions and sympathising. I was conscious that I was doing all the talking but she didn’t seem to mind. Clearly, she found this way more exciting than the news about Josh moving in although that unnerved me. Why was she so anxious to hear about the bad stuff and so dismissive of the good things?
The doorbell rang and Chloe frowned. ‘Back in a second.’ She closed the lounge door behind her.
Moments later, it opened again and Chloe looked at me uncertainly. ‘Surprise visitor.’
My stomach churned as Mum followed her into the lounge. I hadn’t seen her since that hideous day a couple of months ago when she’d told me she’d never wanted me then chose to sever ties completely instead of trying to draw a line and move our relationship forward.
She stopped dead when she clocked me. ‘I didn’t realise you were here.’
I gulped, my pulse racing with nerves. ‘Hi, Mum.’
‘I’ll come back later, Chloe.’
She turned towards the door but Chloe grabbed her arm. ‘You’ll do no such thing. Didn’t the two of you make an agreement to be civil if you saw each other? Well, now’s your chance. Sit down.’
I was surprised by Chloe’s forceful tone but it worked because Mum sat down in the other armchair.
New Arrivals at Hedgehog Hollow Page 8
