I stood up too and followed him over to the sink with the mugs. ‘You phoned her?’
‘She rang me actually. There were a couple of financial things she wanted to discuss but we were on the phone for about half an hour. She sounds happy and settled. The move seems to have done her good. She even asked after you.’
‘Very funny.’
‘I’m serious. She asked how you were and whether you were enjoying running the rescue centre. No word of a lie.’
‘Was she drunk?’
He smiled. ‘I don’t think so. She also asked if you’d spoken to Chloe recently but I said I wasn’t sure. You haven’t mentioned anything to me.’
I shook my head. ‘Not since I went across and it all went wrong. I keep meaning to get in touch but never seem to find time. What made Mum ask after me? She was so rude when I saw her.’
He shrugged. ‘I honestly don’t know. Maybe her new start has made her reflect on things.’
‘Maybe.’ I shook my head, bewildered. Mum asking after me? That was new and most unexpected.
Dad had scarcely been gone ten minutes before Connie arrived with Archie so we took coffees round to Thomas’s bench. Archie was dozing in his buggy which I was secretly pleased about because I could hear about her date with Alex without interruptions.
‘I am dying to hear how it went.’
She looked at me with a solemn expression on her face. ‘It was awful. It was so…’ She started laughing. ‘Nope. I can’t do it. I can’t wind you up. Truth is it was incredible. You know when you imagine the best possible scenario and then, when it happens, it’s even better than that?’
‘I’m so pleased for you.’ I wished Josh was with us to see how alive his mum appeared. Her cheeks glowed, her eyes sparkled and her smile made my heart melt.
‘I opened the door to him and it was like stepping back in time. The beard was gone and he was wearing a cornflower-blue shirt, just like he’d done that night. He told me later that it was obvious from my reaction that I’d remembered too which gave him the courage to go on. “It’s not the same shirt,” he said, “but it’s a close match. You had long hair back then and glasses and you’re more beautiful now than I remembered”.’
‘Oh my gosh, that’s so romantic!’
‘The whole evening was so romantic. We talked non-stop. He’d felt exactly the same as me about our moment. He’d wanted to run after me when we left the bar but chickened out for the same reasons I did. He couldn’t believe it when he saw me in the club and was determined to speak to me but, of course, I got pulled away. He’d recently separated from his wife and they were going through a divorce. It was amicable but there was baggage and he thinks that the timing would have been wrong for him too.’
‘And now…?’
‘Both baggage-free and going out for dinner again tomorrow night.’ Tears glistened in her eyes. ‘I’m so happy, I could cry. Meeting a new man was the last thing I wanted to do right now yet it couldn’t feel more right.’
‘He’s not a new man, though. He’s your “moment-man” and your one true north.’
Tears spilled down her cheeks at that point and she laughed as she swiped at them. ‘What an emotional mess I am!’
At the sound of a car in the farmyard, I left Connie to compose herself. It was the collection for Ron, the hedgehog who’d been found in a pond. The family had been keen to have him back and release him in their garden as he’d been a regular visitor and they even had a hedgehog house for him. We’d discussed the pond situation over the phone and they’d loved the idea of installing one of the hedgehog platforms. It gave me comfort that, if Ron took a tumble again, he’d have the means of escape.
With Ron handed over and a generous financial contribution gratefully accepted for the platform and his ‘board and lodgings’, I returned to Connie. Archie had woken up and was sitting on the grass chewing on a teething toy.
‘This place is magical,’ Connie said gazing over at the meadow as I sat down beside her once more. ‘It feels as though it’s the sort of place where miracles happen.’
‘That’s because they do.’
She turned to me and smiled. ‘Josh would think we’ve been on the wine if he could hear us.’
‘Actually, he feels it too. He might not choose the word “magical” but he does think it’s pretty special.’
Connie squeezed my hand. ‘Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for him. I’ve been so worried about him but not anymore. I’ve got my boy back and I think he might just be kinder and wiser than he’s ever been.’
Archie flung Waddles the penguin behind him with a squawk then tumbled over backwards as he tried to retrieve it. I leapt up to right him and was rewarded with a slobbery grin when I handed back Waddles. Sitting cross-legged beside him on the grass, I wondered whether I could push down my anxiety and have children. Right here in this magical setting, could there be any more perfect a place for raising a family?
‘You look very thoughtful,’ Connie said.
‘In your course, have you explored post-traumatic stress disorder?’
‘PTSD?’ She nodded. ‘It’s an area that particularly interests me so I’ve done a lot of extra research into it. That’s an unusual question for a sunny Saturday morning.’
‘It’s possible my mum has PTSD from a traumatic incident that happened a couple of years before I was born. It hasn’t been diagnosed so I could be way off the mark. She’s never sought help and I think she should.’
Connie sighed. ‘I’m sorry to hear that your mum has had a trauma. PTSD is a huge area. Not everyone who has a trauma experiences it and the symptoms of those who do can massively vary in both type and extremity. As for seeking help, if it is PTSD, it can be treated and even cured years after a trauma so it’s never too late, but…’ She paused and I knew what she was going to say next.
‘It has to be your mum’s choice. I know that can be frustrating for a friend or family member who cares and wants to help or even try to fix things but it’s not that simple.’
‘I thought you’d say that. I just feel a bit helpless.’
‘I understand that. When you’re on the outside of a situation, it can sometimes appear straightforward but, when you’re inside it, it’s often full of complexities. Family can encourage treatment but they can’t force it. If and when your mum is ready, she’ll address it and you can be there for her when she does.’
Connie left and I returned to the barn thinking about what she’d said. I was definitely going to have to leave it. What else could I do? Turn up with a gift voucher for ten pre-paid counselling sessions? She’d probably rip it up in front of my face.
My thoughts turned to my conversation with Dad. How strange was it that she’d asked after me? Was he right and her new start had given her a fresh perspective on things? If it had, she wouldn’t have been so rude when I saw her at Chloe’s. Unless she’d reflected on her behaviour since then and decided it was time to make an effort. Was she reaching out to me? Should I respond? I shook myself. I had to stop overthinking things. She’d chosen to sever all ties with me so I wasn’t going to build up my hopes and drive over to Whitsborough Bay only to have her crush me again. She’d asked three questions about me in a short phone conversation with Dad. It didn’t mean anything.
‘And one of those questions was actually about Chloe,’ I muttered, pulling my phone out of my pocket. ‘Who I must call now before I get distracted again.’
I waited for the FaceTime call to connect but it was cut off. I tried again. Also cut off. I bit my lip, hoping she wasn’t screening her calls because she was in a mood with me. It was a very Chloe thing to do if she was. No. I had to think more positively about her and not instantly assume she’d defaulted back to spoilt-Chloe mode. She was probably feeding Samuel and it was inconvenient to speak. I’d try again later.
My stomach grumbled and I glanced at the time on my phone. Already 1 p.m.? No wonder I was hungry. Over in the farmhouse, I made a sandwich and took it
out to Thomas’s bench. Misty-Blue bounded out from the meadow and circled round my legs. I’d been worried she’d be skittish after last weekend but she’d seemed as affectionate as ever which reassured me the thugs hadn’t laid a finger on her.
Terry was due around mid-afternoon to collect the two hogs he’d brought in – Arwen who’d been tangled in the goalpost netting and Dumbledore who’d had the elastic band round him. I was therefore surprised to see him pulling into the farmyard as I returned to the barn after lunch.
‘I know I’m early but it’s an emergency.’ He opened the back door of his car. ‘Our Wilbur started going crazy by the front door earlier. I opened it and there was nobody there but there was this box.’
He thrust a cardboard box towards me. It was filled with toilet paper but curled together in one corner was a litter of tiny hoglets.
‘This was dumped on your doorstep?’
He nodded. ‘Bloody idiots. What if I hadn’t been in or our Wilbur hadn’t barked? They’d have died.’
‘I need to get them inside and warm. Do you need to rush back?’
‘No. Why?’
‘I could do with your help.’
He locked his car and followed me into the barn.
‘There was no note?’ I asked.
‘Nothing. I’ve spoken to loads of people about this place so presumably that’s why they were dumped on my doorstep. They didn’t even ring the bell.’
‘Can you wash your hands while I set up the heat pads? Did you check how many there are?’
‘No. There’s at least four in the pile but there could be some underneath or in another corner. I saw them moving and drove straight here.’
‘You did the right thing, Terry. Speed is so important.’
I swiftly lifted the hoglets out of the box one at a time. There were eight of them – an unusually large litter – but two were already dead and one looked beyond saving. It was a tough call. In theory that one was the priority but we could invest time and energy trying to save it to the detriment of the others… and we might still lose it anyway.
‘We need to get them warm and build some energy…’ We held them between our hands, blew on them and pushed them around on the heat pads. All the while, I explained what we were doing and why. Terry followed my instructions to the letter and didn’t speak other than the occasional encouragement to the hoglets to move, breathe, live. It took me back to my first hoglets delivery from Alex nearly three weeks ago. These tiny babies were a similar size to Leia and Solo’s litter when they’d been brought in.
After about fifteen minutes, there was a knock on the barn door and it burst open. ‘You’re not going to believe what my grandma—’ Fizz started.
‘Hoglet emergency!’ I called, so relieved to see her.
She ran down the barn, tossed her bag to one side, washed her hands, and was by my side in a flash. ‘What do you need?’
‘Can you work on these ones while I prepare some formula?’
The next couple of hours were intense. A couple of the hoglets were visibly bigger than the others and responded well to stimulation. They were able to take some formula quickly so I was reasonably confident they’d both go the distance. Fizz was determined to do her best for the weakest one and, with three pairs of hands, she could give it extra attention but, sadly, it wasn’t to be.
‘That was tough,’ she said, blinking back tears as she laid its limp body in the box beside its two deceased siblings.
‘Worst part of the job,’ I agreed, swallowing on the lump in my throat. ‘How are you holding up, Terry?’ I was very conscious that he hadn’t signed up to this and I kept thinking about Dave’s reaction when we lost the first hoglet. Fizz had chosen a career with animals and knew what to expect but Terry was just a lover of wildlife who happened to have had a box of hoglets dumped on his doorstep.
‘Humbled and privileged to be part of this.’ He sounded really choked up. ‘What you do here… the lives you save… it’s incredible.’
I smiled at him. ‘And you’re part of that. I may have done the medical stuff but you’re the one who gave Arwen and Dumbledore a chance by bringing them here. You’ve done the same for these hoglets and, however misguided it was to dump them on your doorstep, it’s better that somebody did that rather than leave them to die in a garden or field or wherever. I just hope that they didn’t remove them from a nest that their mum was actually looking after but I guess we’ll never know.’ I didn’t want to dwell on it. The thought of their mum roaming around, wondering where her babies were and the idea that the three deceased hoglets might not have been deceased if they’d been left with her was too horrible to contemplate.
Josh, Rich and Dave returned shortly after four. Hearing them talking in the farmyard, I rang Josh to ask him to come into the barn. Terry hadn’t specifically said he wanted to leave but he’d mentioned his dog being home alone on a couple of occasions so I knew he was keen to head off.
‘Where are you calling me from?’ Josh asked, sounding bemused.
‘The barn. We’ve got five more hoglets. We need help.’
Moments later, the three of them appeared and I explained what had happened. Terry seemed relieved when I said he was free to go.
‘Can you spare five more minutes while I get Arwen and Dumbledore ready?’
‘How about I come for them tomorrow? You focus on the little’uns for now.’
I walked him to the door, checked he was definitely okay and thanked him again for all his help. I’d already warned him that we may lose others across the evening while reassuring him all would have been lost if he hadn’t acted fast. He seemed so genuinely touched by my words that he reminded me of Thomas – initial gruff exterior but chip away to reveal a heart of gold. I nearly hugged him goodbye but thought that might be a bit much.
Five people for five hoglets – two girls and three boys – was overkill so Rich and Dave unpacked the van while Josh, Fizz and I stayed in the barn. It was lucky Paul’s family weren’t moving in tonight because I’d have felt bad having to leave them to just get on with it.
Fizz decided to stick with the Disney theme but moved away from fairy tales and christened them Minnie, Mickey, Donald, Daisy and Pluto.
‘You do realise that Pluto is a dog and that the dog is actually one of their biggest predators?’ Josh asked her.
She had such an infectious laugh-snort combination that soon we were laughing with her. It felt good to enjoy a moment of lightness.
We rang for pizzas and took it in turns to eat and see to the hoglets then I insisted on Rich and Dave heading home as they had evening plans. They’d been such a huge help all day and there was no way I was going to keep them from drinks with friends. The hoglets were all doing well. It felt as though we were over the worst already and, even if Fizz left, Josh and I could manage five between us.
‘So, I saw my grandparents today…’ Fizz said while Josh fed the adult hedgehogs.
‘Oh, gosh, yes! I’m sorry. You started saying that when you arrived.’
‘I need to show you something. Am I okay to put the hoglets down for a minute?’
‘They’ll be fine.’
She retrieved an envelope from her bag, removed some photos and placed them face down on the table.
‘These are my grandparents, Mary and Frank Dodds.’ She handed me the first one. ‘This was taken at their farm about twenty-five years ago.’
I smiled. ‘That’s a great photo.’ Mary was sitting on a shiny blue tractor and Frank was beside it on a quad bike with a pair of border collies in a basket on the back.
‘It’s my favourite. I’ve got it enlarged at home.’
She handed me the next photo and her eyes sparkled with excitement. ‘Who’s this with my grandparents?’
‘That’s Nanna and Gramps!’ The four of them were sitting on hay bales at what looked to be a village fête.
‘They met your grandparents several times because they had a mutual friend.’
She passed
me the next photo which had obviously been taken at the same event. This one showed her grandma, Nanna and another woman. I gasped as I studied it more closely. ‘That’s Gwendoline!’
‘I know! Isn’t that amazing? Grandma says she knew Gwendoline from school. Grandma was four years younger so they weren’t friends but they kept seeing each other around over the years and always chatted. Then, when Gwendoline started rescuing hedgehogs, she sometimes released them at the farm and they became good friends. They were gutted when she died.’
‘I can’t believe it! That’s so amazing.’ I handed the photo back.
She grinned. ‘I’ve got one more.’ She handed me a picture of Gwendoline holding a toddler in her arms.
‘Oh my gosh! Is that you?’ I gazed from the photo to Fizz then back again.
‘It is! I was three at the time. Too young to remember her but Grandma says I met her lots of times. She used to joke with her that Gwendoline was more interested in seeing me than her.’
I could well believe it. As we continued to tend to the hoglets, I told Fizz about the Micklebys being unable to have children and how Gwendoline had had a similar relationship with me when I was little as she’d had with Fizz. The discovery that I was the Sammie that his wife had adored had softened Thomas’s attitude towards me and turned us into friends.
‘Oh my God!’ Fizz declared when I’d finished the story. ‘I don’t know whether you believe in this sort of stuff but it’s like you and I were always meant to be here to fulfil the hedgehog lady’s dreams.’
I smiled at her, a lump in my throat. ‘I do believe that. They sowed the wildflower meadow out the back and, when I’m out there, I always feel so close to them. I talk to them sometimes – tell them about the hedgehogs and ask their advice – and I swear they send me messages.’
‘I’ve got goose bumps.’ Fizz thrust out her arm.
I looked down and so did I.
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