by Nana Malone
Considering I was dying and in desperate need of an orgasm, I almost caved. I knew he didn’t like Kevin. But I hadn’t thought he was actually jealous.
And Kevin, while good-looking and smart enough, was sort of a very bland, watered-down kind of guy. He didn’t have the same kind of commanding presence that Ben did. And God, how commanding was that presence that I was willing to part my legs for him on that conference table where I had several meetings a week. I’d never be able to have another meeting in there. At least, not have one and concentrate without thinking about what Ben had suggested he might do to me… with his tongue.
I tossed again. God, I almost didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of me busting out my vibrator, but I was getting desperate, and desperate times called for very desperate fucking measures.
But no, I wasn’t going to do that. That’s what he wanted, for me to admit how badly I wanted him, but I wasn’t going to. Nope. I could be strong.
Toss.
I wouldn’t give in.
Toss.
I was going to hold the—my fingers started to creep down my belly over the edge of my satin panties, and inside. Maybe if I just—
The sound of a whimper came from the hallway. I frowned and sat up, holding the pillow to myself. I strained my ears to listen better, and there was another whimper. I slid my feet into my wool-lined puff slippers. They weren’t sexy at all, so if Ben was in there with a woman, and that’s what I was hearing… No fucking way.
There was more whimpering. No. Those weren’t sex sounds. It sounded like crying.
“Ben?” I asked as I crept into the living room. No lights were on. He wasn’t there. And then I realized the sounds were coming from his bedroom.
“Ben, are you in there?”
At his door I paused, trying to listen for any extracurricular activities. I scowled just thinking about him with another woman, making her come the way he had made me come. Jesus. That was unhelpful.
I’d told him we were done and that I couldn’t trust him. So why did I care?
Shut up. You care.
But the sounds coming out of his room weren’t sex sounds. I knew what he sounded like when he was having sex, and it didn’t sound like that. It sounded like he was upset. I knocked gently, but there was no answer. And then there was another whimper and a moan.
What if Ben had hurt himself? Gently, I turned the doorknob and peeked in. “Ben? Are you okay? I could hear you from my room.”
He thrashed in the bed then. “Toby, no. Toby, please wake up. Wake up.”
Oh, Jesus. He was having a hell of a nightmare. I shuffled over to the bed. “Ben. Ben, wake up.”
He didn’t wake though. He whimpered again. I laid my hand on his shoulder, and his skin was damp with sweat. “Ben.” The sheet slid down on his waist, exposing his very chiseled abs and shifting dangerously close to the promised land. I forced my gaze to train on his face. “Ben. Ben, wake up.”
Ice-blue eyes blinked slowly and then came into focus and met my gaze. He sat up with a jerk, then, “Liv, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong with me. You were having a nightmare or something.”
“Fuck.” He ran his hands through his hair and frowned as he stared at the sheets. “I need to change these.”
“I’ll do it. You go jump in the shower.”
He frowned at me. “You don’t have to do this. I can take care of myself.”
“Jesus Christ, Ben. It’s late. For once, don’t be a dick. Just go take your shower.”
I expected him to fight me, but then he nodded, pulling back the sheets, and pushing to his feet. I quickly whipped around when I realized he was absolutely naked. I pretended to not look, but I kept sneaking little sidelong peeks at his deltoid muscles, the way they’d bunched and pulled as he moved and stretched. And then, of course, there was the ass. That glorious ass. “Jesus Christ, you sleep naked?”
“You know full well I sleep naked.”
I did know. “I don’t recall sleeping.”
His chuckle was low, and suddenly my skin was on fire.
“Go, shower. I’ll take care of the sheets.”
I tossed his old set of sheets into the hamper then put on new sheets, and ten minutes later he came out of the bathroom, one towel wrapped around his waist, and another one in his hand, towel-drying his hair. “You honestly didn’t have to.”
“You need to get some sleep. It seemed like a hell of a nightmare.”
His jaw clenched and the muscles ticked there. “It was about Toby.”
I nodded, my heart squeezing. “I’m sorry.”
I switched out the pillowcase and stepped back. “Well, get some sleep.”
When I turned to go, he reached out and took my hand. “No, please stay.”
“Ben, I made it perfectly clear, I’m not… You and I—can’t.”
“I know. I just… I don’t want to be alone.”
My heart cracked. “Okay, I’ll stay for a minute, but you’re going to have to put on some boxers.”
He sighed and pulled the towel off, showing that he was already wearing a pair of boxer briefs.
My gaze narrowed in on the snug pair of black boxer briefs, and my mouth went dry. Jesus Christ. He was hard. And the tip of his giant cock was nearly sticking out of the top of the waistband. I swallowed. “Uh… um… go on. Get in bed.” Inside, I pretended that if I didn’t look it would just go away.
My inner diva laughed. That’s not how this works. You know that if you climb in that bed and stay with him, that big dick is going to be rubbing up against you. What are you going to do then?
I had no idea what I was going to do.
Lies.
Well, I could start by licking it. I didn’t have the chance to do it the other night when we were together.
Ben cleared his throat. “You keep looking at me like that, and the throbbing in my shorts is going to get a lot worse. I just need a friend.”
I cleared my throat. “Yup, I can be friend-like.”
He chuckled. “Friend-like. Good enough, I guess.”
I was making a huge mistake. I knew it. But still, I slipped between the cool sheets on the bed and he slid in beside me. And then I knew the moment we both turned on our side, facing each other, hands not quite touching, that I was in trouble. I’d meant to only stay for a minute until he was more settled, but sometime in the middle of the night, when I rolled over, his arm reached out and wrapped around me, pulling my hips back into the hard length of his dick, putting it against my ass. I wanted to argue. I wanted to tell him that I was serious and that we were done. But God, it felt so good. And then his arm slid under my camisole. His big hand slid over my chest, covering the mound of my breast. I could have woken him, could have reminded him that this was not happening between us.
Except, I’d missed him too much.
Ben
I woke to the feeling of a warm soft woman next to me. The scent of coconut and lime wrapped around, teasing, taunting me.
No, this is a dream. I knew better. After all, I’d had this very same dream for weeks now. Livy pressed up close to me, my arm pulling her close, her arse nestled against my cock.
I’d had dirtier renditions of this dream. where she wasn’t wearing anything. Then she started to wiggle in her sleep, silently urging me to prod her thighs, begging me to take her from behind in that slow, sleepy slumber-sex that was the favorite part of every morning.
But then, usually, I would wake up, and there would be no Livy. No soft whimpered moans when I hit that spot deep inside her as I pressed on her clit. No frantic chanting of my name as my tongue laved and circled her clit and her hands dug in my hair, pulling tight, partly directing me, partly pulling me away, because the orgasms were just too much.
No. Usually, I woke to one side of the bed cool. The scent of coconut and lime merely imagined. And me with a raging erection.
So this was definitely a dream. I nestled closer, and this dream was more vivid than the othe
rs. Softer. Silkier. I slid my hands up, cupping her breasts, and God, she had the best tits. Soft and firm. High. Full in my hands. But not so big as to be daunting or give her back problems.
She started that wiggling invitation, the one I liked so much. The one that begged me to slide home, except, in this dream, Livy was wearing knickers. Hell of a dream. Usually, in my dream, Livy had no knickers because she knew full well I didn’t sleep with boxers. It didn’t matter. This version of dream Livy was still amazing. She whimpered, and I mumbled a soothing hush at the shell of her ear even as one hand rolled the tip of her nipple between my thumb and forefinger, and my other hand slid over her flat belly, marveling at the softness as I dipped even lower under the elastic of her panties.
Dream Livy gasped. I went still and frowned at that. Was my brain conjuring up even more realistic versions of her? Livy now would be miffed at me, would probably tell me off even as she parted her thighs, begging for the thing that only I could give her. All the while, still angry with me.
I slid my fingers deeper, applying pressure to her thighs, waiting for her to comply. And she did. I nodded and whispered my satisfaction with that. “That’s a good girl. I just want to make you feel good.”
She whispered my name in a long sigh and wound her hips back, essentially massaging my cock. With a groan I muttered, “This is my favorite dream.”
My name on her tongue was a benediction again. “Ben, please... Please, give me what I want.”
“I was getting there, but this dream always ends too quickly. So I want to take my time.”
“Just give me what I want, please.”
“Always.” This was the part where I normally woke up. Except, I wasn’t waking up this time. “I’ll give you what you want, I promise. I always keep my promises. But first, I’m going to remind your pussy who she belongs to, if that’s okay with you.”
She gave me a long keening moan. “Yes, please, God. Just... more.”
“That’s more like it. Just surrender. It’ll feel good for both of us when you do.”
I expected her to fight, just like she did when I was awake. But instead, she parted her legs. She threw one over mine, widening herself for me, giving me full access. “God, you are so fucking sexy.”
She scooted back against me even more, trying to encourage me. “Ben...”
I frowned. Her voice, it sounded so strong. Why did it sound so strong?
You know why.
My subconscious was trying to tell me something. Something important that I needed to listen to. But I knew if I grasped forward, yanked on that thread, I would wake up, and I didn’t want to wake up yet. The dream was too good. Too important. Too close to reality.
“I wonder, as many times as I’ve had this dream, I haven’t made it to the dirtiest things I’ve been thinking about. Why is that?”
As I eased my middle finger to gently circle her clit, she shivered. “Like… like what?”
“I should have sucked Dream Livy’s tits by now, I think. I’ve been wanting to. They’re so high and so full. I’m obsessed with the idea of it.”
“Jesus, Ben.”
“I want to fasten my hands in Dream Livy’s hair as she swallows my cock, controlling her motions, and God help me, I have been dreaming about fucking Dream Livy’s ass.”
A shudder ran through her. “Jesus.”
“It’s a dream. So we should have done all that by now, but we haven’t. Next time we do this, if I can keep myself from waking up, we’re doing all of those things. Dream Livy for the win.”
She chuckled low. And I frowned again. It sounded like her. Her laugh. The sound I couldn’t generally replicate well in my dreams. Again, I tried to pull on that thread. But the grinding against my cock stopped me. “Geez, fucking hell. Liv.” I dipped my fingers lower into her sweetness and she moaned low.
“There we go. There’s my girl. Should I add one more?”
She nodded emphatically. “Yes, please. Oh God.”
I added two fingers in slowly, using my thumb to circle her clit as I stroked her. Moving in time, her hips backed up against me, and she massaged my cock in the same rhythm. Fucking hell. I tightened my grip on her nipple, and she shouted out. “Jesus.”
“Sorry. I just—” I could feel the tingling in my spine, and I paused. What the fuck? There was no way in hell that I was this close to coming already. That telltale sign started to pull me out of my unconsciousness. But I fought the pull for all I was worth. I didn’t want to let go of her yet.
But it was too strong. Too much. And I blinked awake. Goddamn it. It never lasted as long as I needed it to.
There was the sound of a soft whimper next to me in bed and I frowned, because despite waking, Dream Livy was still in bed with me, and my fingers were coated in her sweet slickness. Her voice was a whisper as she called out, “Ben, please don’t stop.”
Fuck.
Livy was in bed with me. And at present time, my fingers were in her pussy.
I slid my free hand up her body and palmed her breast, my thumb circled the tip of her breast, and it hardened. Gently, I plucked at it. Her arse gyrated in time to my plucking motions. I pinched harder and heard her breath catch. Christ she was soft.
As she moved against me, my fingers slid over her delicate lips and stroked to find her button. Dipping my finger into her liquid center, I dragged it through her slick folds until I found my quarry. With firm strokes, I circled the sensitive bud.
Her moan was low and guttural. I knew what she liked.
My balls ached, but this wasn’t about me. Livy was in my bed because she needed me. And she knew what I could give her. Peace.
Her thighs parted wider as she bucked. “Ben, please, God, don’t stop.”
“Fuck, Liv,” I growled against the shell of her ear. “You want to come, kitten?”
“Yes. Please.”
When she broke apart, I tucked my face into her neck. When she broke, her back arched and her whimper made me ache. “God you are so fucking sexy when you come.”
13
Livy
Since his nightmare two nights ago, things with Ben were better. We’d managed to figure out some kind of truce situation, so yay. Orgasms could do that for any relationship.
But there would be no more orgasms. Not because I was being ridiculously stubborn but because I needed a clear head to think things with him through. I couldn’t think if I was in a lust fog.
But what a lust fog it is.
It was impossible to escape the memory of him touching me. It followed me around like frat-boy stench on my best shoes.
One thing was true though. Once my anger had dissipated and I couldn’t hold it tight like a shield maiden’s breast plate, other feelings started to creep in. Feelings that had to do with his ability to give me seemingly endless dickgasms.
My awareness of him was almost worse than before I knew just what he could do with his dick. I was aware of him all the time. I knew exactly where he was, what he was doing, how he moved. During every single meeting we sat in, I knew when he was looking at me. I knew when he wasn’t.
I could feel him.
It was definitely more torturous this way. I’d always been aware of Ben. Always. But this was different. Because now my body was trained in seeking him out. I didn’t think I was going to make it.
I had to get my shit together. Jessa would be in today, so there was no staring at my boss in front of her. Nope. I had to mind my Ps and Qs. I didn’t want Jessa thinking I hadn’t done a goddamn thing except moon over Ben.
Jessa was coming to the office straight from Heathrow, so I ‘d arranged for a full spread in the conference room. I had emailed all the files she needed to look at to read on the flight, but I also had printed copies in case she wanted to highlight and tab something. I knew some people were more tactile.
In addition, I had the rest of the meetings lined up that we needed to have this week with Peterman to get that ball rolling. I was ready. Even if completely distracted
by Ben, I wouldn’t let him make me take my eyes off the prize.
Armed with all my badassery I marched toward the conference room, but before pushing open the heavy oak door, I paused. Hesitated. My feet were completely frozen as memories of Ben flooded me. Him telling me he could make me want this again. Jesus, who said that?
Ben. Ben says that.
A familiar voice spoke behind me, all whiskey and smoke pouring over me. “I’ve always thought this door was particularly interesting.”
Heat flushed my skin. I tried to cover up the reason for my nervousness. “Sorry. I just can’t… I don’t know. I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be nervous. You have spoken to all of these people dozens of times.” He leaned closer. “Also, I know you’re not nervous because of the meeting.”
I angled my head to glower at him. “Now look here—”
He cut me off saying something unexpected. “You’re worried Jessa won’t like you.”
Oh. He had no idea I was thinking about him with me in the conference room. “I, uh, I know. Just… I just want Jessa to like me.”
“You guys have been talking on the phone. She knows your work. She already likes you.”
“I know. I just don’t want to be disappointing in any way when she meets me.”
He planted a hand on my shoulder. I went stiff as a jolt of electricity hit me. He withdrew his hand immediately. “Sorry. I—” He stopped talking. “I, uh, shit, this is hard.” He tried again. “You’re going to be great.”
When I finally found my courage and opened the door, I found Jessa staring out the window. She turned with a smile, and I knew right away that I was going to like her a lot.
“Oh my gosh, Olivia, nice to finally meet you.”
