by Nana Malone
“Oh God, that man is so sexy. I’m telling you. I’m beginning to see the light about this whole dick situation.”
I laughed. “Stop it. I will say it was very hot though.”
“Then why aren’t you in bed shagging his brains out?”
I flushed, even though she couldn’t see me. “Well, I shagged him in the car, if you really must know.”
“Just the once was enough?”
I cleared my throat. “Okay, I also blew him when we got home and then shagged him again. He proceeded to pass out, so I snuck out of bed to work for a while. Don’t judge me.”
But there was no judgment in her voice. She just laughed. “Oh my God. You are so predictable. Don’t you let that fine man get away because you’re trying to make your mark. You’ve got to enjoy your life too, love.”
“I know. And I’m not letting him get away. Well, more like he’s not letting me get away. He’s um, very attentive.”
She guffawed. “Do tell me more. I mean, honestly, is he like employing some kind of like crazy tongue technique? I like to learn from the masters.”
I thought about his technique and flushed. “He could be classified as a master, I suppose.”
“Look, give the work a rest. Get to bed. Wake him up for another shag. The work will be there tomorrow.”
I leaned my head back and stared up at the ceiling with the gorgeous crown molding and the impossibly high beams. “I don’t know. I just feel a little off.”
“Because of Dex?”
“Yeah, I don’t know. He’s gotten into my head. He said I was disappointing. So of course, now all I’m thinking about is not being good enough for Ben.”
“Ugh, shut up. Honestly, I need a real promise to come out of your mouth, because you and I both know that you are grade-A, number-one badassery. You make most overachievers look bad. You are doing two full-time jobs. One of which is writing a book, mind you. Do you know how hard that is? There are people, actual professionals, who can’t do that. People who went to school for it and everything. I couldn’t be prouder.”
The warmth of her compliment soothed some of my tight muscles. “Thanks, Tell. I’m still pretty convinced that you’re biased, but I’ll take it.”
“I’m not biased. I’m right. I loved being right. God, being right is so satisfying.”
“You must have been wrong once, Telly.”
“Yes, there was once. Back in the day, but I try not to talk about it.”
“I love you.”
“I know. I am awesome. But listen, Dex is a dick. He couldn’t handle how great you are. And let me be clear, he was never great. Your mom only liked him because you liked him. Remember how she used to talk about how your grandparents weren’t particularly fond of your dad?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“That’s what she was doing for you. She was being supportive of your choice. I remember a conversation with her once. We’d gone to dinner with you and Dex. It was your birthday. She watched you with him. She made this face. I could tell she didn’t love him, so I asked her, ‘Not your favorite, huh?’ All she did was laugh. She said, ‘Nope, but he’s not my mistake to make.’ All she wanted you to do was make your own mistakes and live your own life. Don’t take anything that idiot says to heart. All your mom wanted for you was to be happy. And even if he wasn’t the complete ass, which he was, he wasn’t right for you. And if you have found someone who is, hold on to that. Don’t let it go. Don’t let your own insecurity get in your way.”
“What are you talking about? I’m not insecure.”
Lies.
“You forget who you’re talking to. You second guess everything. And then you worry whether you’re as good or as smart as your mother was. You constantly have to be better, achieve more, excel. I have never met anyone who needs to overachieve more than you do. Honestly, it’s exhausting watching you. Us mere mortals, we can’t even begin to hope to be as together as you are.”
I squirmed under the discomfort of her praise. “Now, you’re just saying that because you’re my bestie.”
“Possibly, but remember, I’m always right. So stop being in your head about the Ben thing.”
“You were the one who told me to be careful of him, right?”
“Yes, be careful because he has secrets. Secrets aren’t ideal, but you don’t have to be careful with your heart, because that man is head over heels for you. So enjoy that.”
“Okay, you’re right. I need to just let it go. Dex has taken up enough of my headspace.”
“Yeah. And you filed that restraining order against Mills, right?”
“Yeah, Ben made me do it when Fenton showed up at work. So we’ll make it a point to notify the police that he was where we were.”
“Good, now if you’ll let me, I can look into Fenton, because I don’t trust that he doesn’t have someone following you. He’s everywhere.”
“You sound like Ben.”
“Good, that means we both love you. Now, get off the phone with me, stop working, and go shag that man properly in a bed, then the shower. Ooh, a bathtub. Please tell me how bathtub sex with him is. Especially if your bathtub is the size of a pool.”
“Yeah, it’s ridiculous.”
“Excellent. I love you. Now, go shag your man.”
I hung up with her and stared at the paperwork strewn around me. I wasn’t getting any more work done tonight, and I was crazy to think I was going to.
If I was being honest, I’d wanted some separation to think through the whole Dex thing. I hated that one little word from him made me doubt everything about myself.
I knew who I was. Dex didn’t. Thank goodness, Ben knew exactly who I was too, and he wanted me. So what the fuck was I doing working?
I hit Save on the open document, and then I sashayed toward the bed.
20
Ben
That morning I went looking for Liv to see if she wanted a workout. She wasn’t in bed when I woke up. When I knocked on the door of the library, she was dressed to go. “Where are you going?”
She held up her notes. “Just checking on a lead. Don’t worry, I’m taking the hulking masses with me. I’ll be really inconspicuous.”
I wasn’t sure why, but it irritated me that she hadn’t thought to ask me to go with her. “Well, I’m glad to hear that you’re taking them with you, but why didn’t you ask me to go?”
“I’m sure you have better things to do than to chase down a lead with me.”
I quickly ditched my workout plans. “Nope. Were you going to do this before the Peterman meeting?”
“Yeah. It’ll be quick. My mom left a note about a girl I need to talk to. I don’t know how she’s connected, but since I don’t have the original notes, I figured I’ll just have to go ask her questions.”
I didn’t like the idea of her going out to see some unknown person, even with the bodyguards. “Hold on, let me put on some jeans. I’ll come with you.”
“You don’t have to change your whole day for me.”
Why couldn’t she see how ready I was to make room for her, to make time for her? “I want to.”
It took me less than five minutes before I was tossing out my whole plan for the day. Once we were in the car, she gave Scott the address and then sat back. “You really didn’t have to change your whole day just to accommodate me.”
“When are you going to get it? I like changing my whole day to accommodate you.” There was a time when just saying that to anyone was a cause for internal panic. Even with Lila, it had been difficult for me to admit any vulnerability. Showing vulnerability meant someone could use it against you.
But with Livy, it was all too easy to forget the fear. To jump without a parachute. “All right then, let’s go.”
Dunning was just to the north of London. With the traffic, it took us nearly forty minutes to get there. If she thought it was going to be a quick encounter, she was wrong. The little village was sleepy and boasted only a coach station and not much else.
It was a rather depressed area, not too much commerce. We found the address on a lane that led to a small house on the corner with wild untended grass, and I asked, “Is this it?”
She peered out the window. “I guess so. I’ll be right back.”
I laughed. “Like hell you’re going in by yourself.”
“I’m looking for a woman, Missy Stanton. How dangerous can it be?”
“I went to meet someone and got shot at, so let’s err on the side of caution. Besides, she’s not expecting you, is she?”
She shook her head. “No. I couldn’t find a phone number for her. Just an address, so I figured I’d catch her at home.”
Where was her planning. Where was the caution? But she’s going to do this whether I gave her permission or not. With a sigh, I muttered, “Jesus, okay. Let’s go.”
Scott parked and we climbed out of the car. Olivia marched up to the door with me on her heels, and we left Scott looking just a little bit pissed off in the car. Damn, if I looked out the window and saw him, I’d be terrified.
I hoped having him along wasn’t going to inhibit Olivia from doing what she needed to do. But I’d do what I had to in order to keep her safe.
But I still wanted her to be able to do what she needed, so maybe I needed to think of a different way of protecting her.
She knocked at the door and rocked from foot to foot in a repetitive pattern as she waited. The door creaked open, and a petite dark-haired woman opened the door. She had small features, except for her big dark eyes. “Yes, can I help you?”
Olivia gave her a warm smile. “Hi, we don’t know each other. I’m Olivia Ashong. I feel like you might know my mother, Georgina. She was doing a book on Caroline Ritter and the work she was doing to expose human trafficking and how it might have led to her disappearance. I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of questions.”
Missy shook her head. “I don’t know the other woman, but I spoke to Georgina.”
Olivia licked her lips and flicked her gaze up to me. “My mother, she passed away six months ago.”
The other woman wrapped her arms around herself. “I am sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay. You couldn’t have. Cancer.”
The other woman nodded but still didn’t invite us in, and she continued to glare warily at me.
Olivia stood in front of me. “I’m so sorry. This is my associate, Mr. Covington. He’s just here to help me record a few facts.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but then I thought better of it. The woman was clearly afraid and wasn’t letting us in her home. So the more unimposing I could be, the better.
I just gave her a nod.
Olivia directed all of her focus on the woman. “Can you tell me what you and my mother spoke about?”
Missy swallowed hard. “Look, that was some time ago, and I really don’t want to think about it.”
Livy shifted on her feet as if she was considering giving up. “Please, I just want to understand. Your name was in her notes, but they were incomplete, and I don’t know your connection to what she was working on.”
The woman looked back in the house, and it was then that I heard children running. She stepped back onto the front step and closed the door behind her. “Listen, I have a new life now. My family doesn’t know.”
“And they don’t need to,” Olivia said. “I just wanted to know how you relate to the research.”
“Ten years ago, I was in a night club in Budapest. I met some guy. He said there was an after-party somewhere and was wondering if my friends and I wanted to go with him. But there was no after-party. Our passports were taken, and we were forced to work at a brothel.”
Olivia’s gasp was sharp. I ground my teeth. The woman in front of me looked barely twenty-five. “How old were you?”
“Seventeen. I thought I was having a summer holiday. An adventure. Fun. It was the most hellish five years of my life. I was a high commodity. I was a virgin, I was young, and I spoke English. I had met a nice boy at the youth hostel near where we were studying, and he came round and invited me and my mates to a party.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “Later, when we finally got home, we learned that some of the locals were paid to identify young British citizens that were in Budapest for a holiday or to study.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you. Interpol broke up that ring and eventually made sure that we all made it home. My family didn’t know where to find me or if I was even still alive.”
“Do you have the name of an agent or anyone I can contact at Interpol?”
“Um, yes, I can get the name for you.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it.”
She went inside and came back with a card. “I was to contact him if I ever remembered anything, but I sort of just wanted to forget it all and get on with life. But I kept that card handy. I don’t know why. Whenever I’m afraid, I pull it out, you know?”
Olivia nodded. “I appreciate you telling me your story. You don’t remember anything about the people who took you?”
She shook her head. “No. Just a man that was in charge of transporting us. He wasn’t nice. If the devil was a human, he would look like him.”
Olivia nodded, dug through the files she carried, and pulled out the picture. The one I’d made a copy of. “Was it this man?”
Missy paled. “Jesus Christ, that’s him. Do you know his name?”
Olivia shook her head. “No, but I’m working on it.”
Missy shivered and backed up. “I’m sorry. This is all I can help you with.”
Olivia smiled. “Thank you. You’ve been so helpful. I’m so sorry to bring this back up for you.”
“If you’re writing a book to get those people put away, then I’m all for it. The Interpol people could probably tell you more.”
“Thank you.”
Missy went back inside and closed the door behind her. Olivia sighed. “We have to find out who the hell this asshole is. I pray to God he’s in jail somewhere, because if he’s not, that means more women around the world are in danger.”
“Have I told you how beautiful you are when you’re on the hunt?” I opened the door and let her in the car then went around to the other side and settled beside her.
“Are you sure about that? You know I get in a hyper-focused mode.”
“I think it’s great. I think you can really crack this whole thing wide open.”
“Right now, I still feel like I’m fumbling in the dark.”
“You might feel like that some days, but watching you do this is so inspiring. You’re giving women like that hope.”
“No. I’m not Interpol. I’m just writing a book. But I don’t know. It’s nice to have a sense of purpose.”
I took her hand and wrapped mine over it. I was sunk. I was completely in love with her. And I had no idea what to do about it.
Livy
We were running late for the team meeting after work that evening, so Ben called down for the car, but there had been some accident near the square, so the car was having a hell of a time getting there, and he’d gotten a call just as we’d stepped in the elevator. “I have to head back upstairs. Stay in the lobby with Scott and wait for me before you go outside, okay?”
I nodded. “I’m fine. It’s not like I’m alone. There are a million people downstairs in the lobby. I’ll just grab a juice from Pret a Manger or something. I’ll wait for you. I promise, I’m fine.”
He muttered into the phone. “Hold on a sec.” Then he pulled me in, planting a hard, possessive kiss on my lips. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. You worry too much.”
“Well, I—” He paused, and I wondered what he was going to say. And then he kissed me on the forehead and stepped back allowing the elevator to close as he returned to his conversation.
Inside, the butterflies were giddy and fluttery as they flapped merrily in my tummy. Relax. Don’t’ lose your head. Diving headfirst into him was going to be dangerous for my
heart. But of course, the giddy, mushy part of me had hoped he was about to say he loved me, but I probably should have known better.
The ride down was fairly smooth, and I didn’t have any spikes of anxiety or worry. When I reached the bottom floor, it was teeming with people. There were several shops in the main lobby area, and when I passed security, Scott gave me a wave, calling me over. “Mr. Covington says you’re supposed to stay where I can see you. You can head on into the Pret if you want, but then come right back.”
He hadn’t told me he loved me, but he still insisted on being a possessive ass? “I’m not a child.”
Scott gave me a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. Do you want me to go in for you?”
I gave him a distracted shake of my head. I’d deal with Ben once we were in Belgravia, safely tucked in the townhouse. “No, you have a job to do. You know what, I’ll just wait here in the lobby like a good girl where you can see me and I can see you, and your job will be intact. I’ll save my ire for him.”
He sighed with relief at both being able to do as he was told and at avoiding the full brunt of my temper. “Thank you, Miss Ashong. I appreciate it.”
I crossed my arms and grumbled. I just wanted to get home, er… to the townhouse.
You said home.
No. I did not.
Yes, you did.
There was no point in arguing with myself. I had said home. Shit.
This was what had gotten me in trouble before, thinking that with the man I loved, everything was going to be some ride off into the sunset, happily ever after scenario. And then it didn’t turn out the way I’d thought.
I didn’t like the way it felt, and I sure as hell didn’t want to keep feeling this way. Once things were settled, I was getting a place of my own. If I could just be on equal footing with him, maybe I’d feel more like the old me. I needed to remember how that felt. I liked counting on myself.
“Well, fancy seeing you here.”
I whirled around as dread skipped up my spine, causing chills to spread out over my body. “Mr. Mills, what are you doing here?”
