by Kim Law
“I don’t intend to eat it at this point.”
“Good.”
He stared at her, and she just looked back. They were far too close for two people unattached. “You didn’t actually answer my question, though.”
She licked her lips. “And what was your question again?”
She honestly couldn’t remember. His eyes matched the unique color of the rest of his family, but none of them had ever been this close. She’d never had the opportunity to get lost in that particular shade of blue.
“What’s with the cupcake?”
“Oh.” She blinked, breaking the hold his gaze had on hers, and she gave a little shrug. “It was for your birthday.”
Surprise softened his features. “You made me a cupcake for my birthday?”
“I did. I baked it while waiting on Nate to bring you from the hospital.”
“But”—he glanced at the dilapidated dessert again—“why?”
The question should have been a simple one, yet it came across as if he truly had no clue. And she hated that he didn’t get it. “Because it had been your birthday, Jaden.” She smiled to soften the need for an explanation, but she didn’t let herself reach out and touch his furrowed brow. “And because no one got you anything. I’m a firm believer that everyone deserves to feel special for their birthday.”
He stared at her again, and she could see questions remaining. But also, comfort beginning to shroud him.
The tautness that had appeared in his shoulders eased, and he nodded his head. “I like that theory. Everyone should feel special for their birthday. And now I’m sorry I ignored it instead of eating it. I’ll bet it was a really good cupcake.”
His eyes danced back and forth between hers.
“It was a really good cupcake.” Miniature cakes were one of the few things she’d mastered.
A hint of a smile returned to his mouth as he continued to lie there looking at her, and the color of his eyes deepened. “You make me smile, Lula-bell. Do you know that?” He removed his arm from her waist, but he reached for her hand. “And I like that you’d bake a cupcake for a person you’d just met, solely because he hadn’t gotten anything for his birthday.” He twined their fingers together. “Can I ask when your birthday is?”
She stared at their hands. “It’s April 10.”
“Soon, then?”
“Yes.” She brought her gaze back to his. “Why do you want to know? Are you going to bake me a cupcake for my birthday?” She asked the question with a smile on her face, but unease had begun to seep through her. He was holding her hand.
And she was letting him.
And he still lay only inches from her.
“I might,” he replied. “But what if I’m not a good cupcake maker?”
“Then I’d eat a bite of it, and I’d toss the rest when you weren’t looking.”
He laughed yet again, the sound vibrating through the pillow and into her stomach, and at the same time, the sun rose high enough in the sky that a beam of light slashed through the room and across his cheeks. And then he stopped laughing.
And then he put his mouth to hers.
Jaden’s mouth closed over Arsula’s before he fully realized what he’d done. He shouldn’t be kissing her. He couldn’t remember exactly why at the moment, but he knew that he shouldn’t be kissing Arsula.
He couldn’t seem to separate his lips from hers, though. Because for the second time in two weeks, he’d woken up next to her, all sleep-tousled and looking hot as hell, and all he’d been able to think about was the fact that a lack of erection would not be an issue this time.
When she didn’t push him away, he angled his mouth and urged her to give him more. And damn, he got it. Her lips parted beneath his, a breathy little sound escaping from the back of her throat as her mouth reached forward, and with a moan, he slipped inside. Then he silently pleaded that kissing Arsula would never have to stop.
Lifting to his elbow, he brought his hand to her cheek, hoping to block the temptation of putting it elsewhere, but then she whimpered. And he completely lost his mind.
Lips heated as their tongues exchanged strokes, and the damned hand that was supposed to remain above her neck crept lower. It danced over the outline of her body, his fingers exploring at every point of connection, and she moaned with each touch. She was both hard and soft—in exactly the right places.
As his palm smoothed over her hips—and her leg lifted to slide sensuously over his—he cursed his memory for never retrieving the image of her without her red bridesmaid dress. That was a vision he’d tried to conjure up way more than was likely healthy since the night of the wedding. But so far, nothing.
Maybe he could be lucky enough to get another chance, though.
Possibly this morning.
Arsula’s body bowed as he continued to stroke over her, the pillow blocking full-body contact, so he reached to yank it out of their way. He’d just pulled it free when the sound of her voice hit his ears.
“Jaden.” She breathed out his name, her chest heaving in sync with his. “This . . .”
“I know.” Dropping the pillow behind her, he kissed her again. “It’s freaking amazing.” Their mouths brushed as he spoke. “Even better than I remember.” And that part of his memory wasn’t lacking.
He pressed a hand to the middle of her back, closing the remaining distance that separated them, and every inch of him sprang to life. The curves he’d previously traced now pressed flush to his body, her foot dropped to the back of his knee, locking him to her, and he returned his hand to her cheek. His intent was to kiss her again. Hard. To not waste a second without his lips being on hers. But instead he paused. And he simply feasted his eyes on her.
Black hair spilling out around her face, cheeks heated to pink, eyes glazed. Lips full and swollen from his touch.
She took his breath away.
And she was in his bed.
“Definitely better,” she agreed. She then lifted her hand to cup his cheek, same as he was doing to her, and she pulled in several deep breaths. Her eyes never left his as they lay there, and he found himself desperate to know her thoughts.
Desperate to pick back up where they’d left off.
But then her lips curved . . . and her smile turned fond.
His brain stuttered on the thought. Fond? What the hell?
As if he were some long-forgotten pet.
Where was the heat that had been there only a moment before? Why was her leg still wrapped around his if all she had to offer was fondness?
And what had caused the change?
He covered her hand and slowly retracted it from his cheek. “Are you okay?” he asked.
She nodded, but she also removed her leg. “To tell you the truth, I haven’t been this okay in a while.” She pulled in another long breath, and her cheeks puffed as she blew it out. But she no longer made eye contact.
“Then what seems to be the problem?”
She rolled to her back, her previous chest heaving now a thing of the past, and she stared at the ceiling. “The problem is”—she shook her head back and forth—“that I can’t do this.”
“This?” He tried to keep the edge out of his voice, but he failed.
“Yes.” She looked at him again, her eyes now showing regret layered in with the fondness. “This.” She swept her hand in a circular swath that encapsulated both of them, along with the bed. “With you.”
“With . . . me?” He knew he sounded like an idiot by lying there, doing nothing but repeating her words, but he couldn’t seem to come up with anything else to say. He still didn’t get it. What had happened to change things?
Instead of replying, she was up and out of the bed, and her quick escape had him going from idiot to total fool. He glowered up at her.
“Why the hell can’t you?” he barked out. “Because it certainly felt like you were doing it.”
She snapped her hands to the sides of her waist, all previous fondness and regret disappearing. �
��Don’t you dare ‘why the hell’ me, Jaden Wilde. No means no, no matter what I did.”
That wasn’t what he’d meant.
He pushed to a sitting position. “That’s not—”
“And as for why . . .” Her mouth flattened into a straight line, and she jabbed a finger his way. “I won’t do this with you because you are still hung up on another woman.”
At her words, his thoughts turned to disbelief. Shit. He’d forgotten about Megan.
He’d been ready to make love to another woman—for the second time in two weeks—with no thought about the woman he was supposed to be in love with. What was wrong with him?
“And that’s fine,” Arsula went on. The edge of anger in her voice dulled, but only by a fraction. “I get it. The heart wants what the heart wants and all that. But I won’t be that girl, Jaden.” She shook her head. “I won’t be the stand-in while you bide your time waiting for another woman.”
The stand-in? He blinked. Then he shook his head. “I wasn’t thinking you would be.”
The problem was that he hadn’t been thinking at all.
“Maybe you weren’t. But something was.” She scowled at his lap.
When she returned her eyes to his, her look said that he was scum of the lowest form. It also said that if a lamp were within arm’s reach, she’d bash it over his head.
“No more kissing,” she told him. “No more doing any of this. Because though I may not require a long-term commitment before sleeping with a man . . . I do require that man to actually be into me. And only me.”
Chapter Fourteen
The splint was now a cast.
Hallelujah.
And though there was tremendous joy in knowing that the healing had progressed far enough to move him to the next state, Jaden’s lower leg was already starting to itch inside the plaster.
Actually, it wasn’t, and he knew it. Logically. It was all in his head. But he also knew that it eventually would itch, so the very idea of it bothered him. Just like the very idea of kissing Arsula bothered him.
But then again, it bothered him to not kiss her.
She just bothered him altogether. In both a good and a bad way.
He stared out the front window of his brother’s truck, seeing nothing but passing colors, and thought about the fact that he’d just compared kissing Arsula to the itch of a cast. Which wasn’t fair at all. Kissing Arsula was . . .
He sighed to himself. Phenomenal. Kissing her was a freaking joy.
Doing more would be heaven on earth.
But it also wasn’t just kissing her. It was everything about her. She was kind of terrific. A little deranged in the head, but . . . terrific in a funny, quirky, sexy, caring, stiff-spine sort of way. Which confused the hell out of him. And “confused” was putting it mildly.
She’d spent Saturday night in his bed, then he’d been ready to shuck his clothes at the first touch of her lips. Again. What was it about that woman? And why was he even thinking about her when things with him and Megan remained unclear?
“What time is your appointment tomorrow?” Nate asked from the driver’s seat.
“One o’clock.” He had sessions set up with Dr. Wangler for each day the remainder of that week, and though he still couldn’t put weight on his foot, he felt decidedly more mobile than during his last attempt.
“Want to grab a late lunch after?”
He glanced at his brother. “Works for me.” If he didn’t get lunch with Nate, he’d be left sitting in the kitchen, eating all alone. Since the morning before, Arsula had taken to leaving a plate of food warming in the oven for him instead of hanging out and talking while he ate. She’d been pleasant enough whenever they’d had to be around each other—but she’d also made it a point not to be around him.
He and Nate fell back into silence, and as the pines and birch trees whipped past the windows, Jaden turned his thoughts to Saturday’s conversation with Dani. He needed to have a serious discussion with his brother. Was Nate still in town because he was hiding from something?
Running from something?
Or just what was going on with him?
The truck turned off the highway and a flash of lake glinted off to their right, and Jaden decided it was time to delve in. They would be back to Arsula’s apartment soon, and he’d promised Dani he’d work on Nate today.
“Why are you still here?” Jaden tossed out. There was no need to beat around the bush.
Nate shot him a look. “Excuse me?”
“In Birch Bay,” Jaden clarified. “What’s keeping you around so long this time?”
“You, you dumb fuck.” The look turned to a scowl. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re avoiding something else right now as much as you’ve always avoided this place.”
The hardening of his brother’s jaw told Jaden that he’d ticked him off. It also said he was quite possibly on the right track. “You’re wrong,” Nate insisted, and went back to concentrating on the road. “Why are you bringing this up now, anyway? Do you want me to leave? Because I can. I don’t need to stick around where I’m not wanted. But if I do go, who’s going to take you to all your appointments?”
Jaden could walk to the counseling sessions if he had to. Dr. Wangler’s office was only a few blocks away. But he couldn’t walk to his doctor’s office. Or to his physical therapy appointments when they started in a couple of weeks. And he still wouldn’t be able to drive for a while longer.
But he also couldn’t ask Nate to stick around if he wanted to go.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Jaden said. “I appreciate the help. It’s huge.”
“Yeah, you appreciate it by staying with Arsula.”
“Don’t start that again. I made my decision, you chose to help anyway. End of story.”
“Excellent point. So then, why are you bringing it up?”
Good Lord. The man could be difficult. Jaden shifted on the seat so that he faced his brother’s profile, then he tried another tactic. “I’m bringing it up because I’m worried about you. Dani is worried about you.” Maybe bringing their sister into the conversation would help. “It isn’t like you to hang around for so long, so we’re just wondering . . . what’s going on? Don’t you have a job to get back to?”
The truck made another turn, and as they hit Main Street, Jaden glanced around, searching for Arsula’s car. He found it where she normally parked, and he also caught a light burning in the living room of her apartment.
“I actually quit my job a year ago,” Nate answered from the other side of the truck, bringing Jaden’s shocked gaze back to him.
“You quit?”
And he hadn’t told anyone?
Nate didn’t look away from the road. “It’s no big deal. I’d had enough. Being out on a boat for weeks at a time no longer appealed.”
He pulled into a spot in front of the building and turned off the truck. It was after five, and most businesses on the street were already locked up tight, but they watched as the owner of the bookstore two doors down moved throughout the first floor, restocking her product.
“What have you been doing since then?” Jaden asked.
“Mostly nothing.”
Jaden understood that he needed to tread carefully. Not only did Nate rarely stick around, he also made it a point not to share things. “Then what do you want to do?”
Finally turned his way, Nate seemed to have dropped his usual mask of protection as he answered more honestly than Jaden had ever heard. “I don’t have a clue.”
Jaden just stared at his brother for a moment, then he did a quick run-through of the changes that had been working their way through his family over the last few years. And as he thought through everything, a new sense of peace began to fill him. It seemed Nate wasn’t immune to needing them as much as he’d like everyone to believe. Which meant, maybe they could eventually be the family they’d once pretended to be.
“It’s okay if you want to come home, you know?” Jaden said, a
t the same time the light in Arsula’s bedroom came on. He tossed a glance in that direction. “You don’t need an excuse to be here.”
“You’re not an excuse.” Nate didn’t discredit the theory that he wanted to come home.
“Then why not just move back?”
His brother leaned forward in his seat, watching Arsula’s window as well. “And do what?”
There was no other sign of the woman Jaden couldn’t seem to quit thinking about. “College? Didn’t you take some classes a few years back? Now could be a good time to finish up a degree.”
“I’m not Nick, and I don’t want to go back to school.” A shadow moved through the room above them. “Nor do I need to prove myself like you,” Nate added, and as his words registered, they pulled Jaden’s attention off the apartment above them.
“What do you mean by that?”
Nate didn’t look at him. “You’ll end up going back for your PhD, won’t you? Going as far in school as you can?”
“I’ll do as much as needed to be an excellent counselor.”
Nate nodded. “And you’ll probably be okay at it.”
Okay at it? Jaden’s temper flared. “Wrong. I’ll be exceptional at it.”
Arsula appeared in the window then and looked down at them, and a strange silence filled the cab. She watched, making no bones about looking from one to the other, then as quickly as she’d appeared, she was gone.
The light went off in the room, and the quiet of the cab was once again filled with the sounds of their breathing.
“Maybe you should let her help you,” Nate suggested quietly, and nodded toward the upstairs apartment. And Jaden’s jaw once again dropped.
“Let her help me how?”
“She’s good with people. I hear it all over town.”
Jaden remained floored by his brother’s words. “I thought you hated her.”
“I never hated her.” Nate’s gaze scanned to the other room on the second floor, and Jaden got the impression he wasn’t looking for Arsula so much as not looking at him.
