"Your journal," said Lynn. "I'm sorry for looking. I know I promised that I wouldn't. I just didn't want to die without knowing."
"You won't die, I promise. But the journal... I've never had a journal. Have I?"
"Oh, Edwin... You used to write in it all the time. Don't you remember?"
Caldwell shrugged. "I have been very stressed, lately. That must be why I've forgotten. Did you already read it?"
She shook her head.
"Then we'll read it together," said Caldwell. "Right after we get out of here. Zhang won't be out for long. We have to go."
***
I don't remember an awful lot about our flight from Skyway. I know that we took the long, boring way out, crawling through the vents and trying not to make too much noise or take any wrong turns. I occasionally suffer from claustrophobia so it was tough for me. But you know what they say; you can do anything with the proper motivation.
My Starframe was just where I left it. It's nothing special, just a drab silver professorial model. I never had a name for the big girl before, but now I think I'll call her Nera. So my enemies know why they're being destroyed.
It's hard to go on with life when you realize you've been hypnotized for the past two years. As we read my journal, my wife and I, I felt the illusion shake away like armor that once protected me, but which has now rusted away. I became Jess Starfall again. But the most miraculous thing about this was the fact that I still remembered the past two years. Everything that happened. And I still have the knowledge of Edwin Caldwell in me. May he rest in peace forever.
Lynn took the news hard at first. But she adapted quickly. She had known for a long time that I was different. That there was some secret in my past. Once I remembered myself, and my life on Planet Nera, I was able to tell her who I really am. It turns out that, while I thought I was Edwin Caldwell and was able to use his skills, my personality was still that of Jess Starfall. I'm grateful for that. Because I still have Lynn.
I don't know what I'll do next. I know I have to stop humankind. They're an untenable threat to all life in the universe. If they continue to live on, and spread as they have been for hundreds of thousands of years, they will do what they did to Nera to every last world in all of creation.
How can I reconcile that in my mind? The woman I love, more than life itself, is a human. What am I to do?
I don't know. I suppose that's a question for another day.
The first thing will be to find my planet and reclaim it. But I have to be careful. I know that I'm being followed. I can feel them behind me, hanging back just far enough to be invisible. I've never seen or heard them, but I know they exist. It's almost impossible to shake off a human who thinks he's doing the right thing.
For now, I'll just keep searching. And writing. Hopefully one day I can update this journal, and announce that the universe has been saved.
***
Standing in his Vitality Projector, flying through space in search of a Jumpgate he knew to be in the area, Jess had a moment of inspiration.
Lifting his bionic arm - which forced the Starframe to lift its arm, as well - he said the magic words.
"Even Steven."
His arm opened.
Something changed. The Starframe Nera pulsed with new energy. Everything became more vivid, as lucid and surreal as the strangest dream. The stars were impossibly sharp. The Jumpgate, a quarter of an AU to Jess's bottom left, pulsed like a beacon.
And Nera burst forth with green light.
Jess brought his hand up until it eclipsed his view of the Jumpgate. Then he squeezed, as if crushing the Jumpgate in his fist. Suddenly he flashed forward, crossing the distance to the Jumpgate in less than a second. Over twenty million miles in the space of a heartbeat.
Turning in a circle, he surveyed the cosmos.
Now he knew what he was meant to do.
The ultimate weapon of humankind. The Starframe. Now it would become his instrument, a tool of ultimate peace. With luck, he could succeed where Zhang had failed. And end this contest without bloodshed.
Either way, he was ready.
Clairvoyance Page 9
