I shook my head. “Not yet. This meeting involves the elders who will vote first. It could all end tonight if the vote goes my way. No need to upset the children or give them reasons for concern.” I wasn’t sure Shay understood the inner workings of the church. It wasn’t necessary for her to know all the details. Having her support and love was all I needed to see me through this.
—
That evening, as I stepped into the meeting room, twelve elders awaited my arrival. Alex Turnbull sat at the head of the table. He greeted me stiffly and asked me to take a seat. He waited a moment and had his say first, outlining what he considered my shortcomings and how my behavior had an adverse influence in the community. He went on to claim that my relationship with Shay had brought undesirable attention to the church. The incident this morning had been a prime example. In closing, he stated that he had seen homeless men sitting within our midst during the Sunday service.
He was referring to Richard, who I’d seen slip into the eleven-o’clock service and take a seat in the back pew. I’d been amused and pleased to see him singing the closing hymn at the top of his lungs. Although he was in the far back of the sanctuary, I could hear him from the pulpit. I loved having him in church and knew in my heart that God did, too. He’d brought a couple other men in the last week and I had welcomed them one and all.
“Do you have anything you’d like to say in your defense?” Alex asked, after I’d answered several questions.
Every eye in the room was on me as though they expected a heated rebuttal. I had none to give. “No, everything you said is true, Alex. The only thing I would like to add is that as long as I am pastor of this church, these doors will be open to all who enter. Other than that, I have nothing to say.”
Alex Turnbull looked surprised. “Fine, then, let’s take a vote.”
From the smile on Drew’s face when he walked in the door, I knew the vote had gone his way. The relief I felt nearly overwhelmed me and I felt tears burn the back of my eyes. Until that very moment I didn’t realize how tense I was about the elders’ decision. Pressing my hand over my heart, it was all I could do to keep the emotions at bay.
Drew came to me and wrapped me in his arms, holding me close. “It’s good. Everything is good.”
My heart was too full to speak. I buried my face in his neck and took in several calming breaths, needing that time to compose myself. It went without saying that Drew was relieved, too.
Although they didn’t know what was happening that evening or why their father had an unexpected meeting, both children seemed to sense the tension. Sarah had been demanding and needy all evening and Mark had been withdrawn, which had become the norm with him. I worried about Drew’s son. He seemed to keep more and more to himself these days. I’d mentioned it to Drew once and he’d talked to Mark, but it didn’t seem to have done much good.
Sarah peeked out from the hallway, dressed in her nightgown. She’d gone to bed earlier, but she’d made one excuse after another to get up. “Are you going to kiss Shay, Dad?”
“Probably,” Drew told his daughter.
“Can I watch?”
“Absolutely not. You’re supposed to be asleep by now. You have school tomorrow,” he reminded her and tried to look stern. He failed and I could see that he was struggling to hold back his amusement.
“I’m not tired. Besides, I want to see you kiss Shay.”
While Drew put Sarah back to bed, I poured us each a glass of iced tea and set out a plate of oatmeal-raisin cookies that Sarah and I had baked that evening. Needing a distraction, I’d suggested baking, and Sarah had been more than eager to help. I’d asked Mark to join us, but he claimed he wasn’t interested.
Drew devoured the cookies. I knew he hadn’t eaten dinner and I strongly suspected with the vote hanging over his head that he’d gone without lunch, too. As we sipped our tea, Drew told me the gist of how the elder meeting had gone.
It seemed Alex Turnbull was the only one who had any overwhelming concerns regarding Drew’s competency to continue as pastor. The remaining elders had listened carefully to Alex, asked questions of Drew, and then voted. From what he said, Drew didn’t put up a lengthy rebuttal; he didn’t feel it was necessary. My name was mentioned but only briefly.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am that this has happened,” I told him. I’d never meant for any of this to fall on his shoulders. He should never have become involved with Caden. From the first, I’d made it perfectly plain that Caden was bad news. I couldn’t imagine what had led him to seek out my brother.
“All is well that ends well,” Drew assured me, gently brushing the hair from my face and looping it behind my ear. His touch was gentle, loving. “Everything happens for a purpose.”
“True, but you should never have involved yourself in this, especially without me knowing.”
Drew agreed and apologized again. I accepted, determined to put this in the past. He’d paid the price and so had I.
As a result of all this hullabaloo, I felt I needed to make friends with the very people who had doubts about me and my relationship with Drew. The first person I wanted to start with was Linda Kincaid. This was an important relationship. Linda didn’t openly dislike me, although I wasn’t sure she trusted me.
—
Thursday evening of that week, I joined Linda Kincaid and a couple other volunteers at the Bring-a-Meal night at Hope Center. It was while I was a resident there that I’d met Linda the first time. That seemed like a lifetime ago now. Since I’d started attending Drew’s church, I’d volunteered to work on the kitchen crew twice and both times Linda told me that she had all the volunteers she needed. I tried not to take her rejection personally. She’d never been openly unkind, but I had the feeling that she would rather not have me.
When I phoned to tell her I was available for that Thursday night, I recognized her hesitation. Knowing how important Linda was to Drew and how much she loved the children, I wasn’t going to be easily turned away this time. In the end she agreed to let me help, although she’d made it sound as if she was doing me the favor.
After I finished my shift at the café, I headed to the church. Linda and the two other volunteers were busy making dinner for the women at Hope Center. Stephanie and Kelly were good friends and the two of them chatted away and basically ignored me. It wasn’t intentional, I knew. It had been awhile since they’d last talked and they were catching up. As soon as they realized they’d excluded me from the conversation, they did their best to include me. I appreciated their effort.
The menu for the evening was roast beef, mashed potatoes, green beans, salad, and red velvet cake.
“Where would you like me to start?” I asked Linda once all the ingredients for the meal had been set out. I’d washed my hands and rolled up my sleeves, ready to dig in.
“How are you at peeling potatoes?” Linda asked, giving me the least welcome task.
“An expert,” I assured her with a smile, eager to prove myself.
“Then have at it.” Her smile was strained. I knew I wasn’t her favorite person and appreciated that she was trying. But then so was I.
Stephanie put on the playlist from her phone and soon the three of us were dancing around the kitchen, laughing and having a good time. The only one who showed any restraint was Linda, who didn’t even tap her toes.
Once the meal was ready, we loaded the food into the church van and drove over to Hope Center. Lilly Palmer met us at the door and led us to the cafeteria. Her eyes met mine and I saw the worry there.
We’d talked several times in the last week, mostly about my brother and what had happened at the church with Drew. Lilly had helped me talk through my emotions with both incidents.
“Everything coming up roses?” Lilly asked, helping me cart in the large containers of food. The residents had started to line up with their trays. Stephanie and Kelly helped serve while I filled the drink glasses. Linda supervised.
“Everything’s great,” I responded, laughing softly. Lilly was
a dear friend and I was grateful every day for her support and encouragement.
“Have you been able to find out anything about your brother?” she asked as she helped cart out the carafes of coffee.
I shook my head, thoroughly depressed when it came to Caden and his troubles. I’d talked to both the prosecutor and his court-appointed defense attorney and learned what I could. It didn’t look good for Caden. Thankfully, the police officer would make a full recovery from his injuries in time.
No way was my brother going to avoid prison. I knew jail time might be the only way he would get sober.
The dinner went well with all of us working together. It was hard to believe that I had once been one of these women, struggling to find my place in society, weighed down by rejection from the very ones who were supposed to love and care for me. Like many of them, I had made poor choices and had low to no self-esteem. I wasn’t that person any longer, and seeing these women showed me just how far I’d come.
As we finished loading up the van, I saw Linda on her phone, deep in conversation. She frowned and closed her eyes before righting herself. While Stephanie and Kelly dealt with cleaning up the kitchen and clearly didn’t need me, I went out to talk with the residents.
Stepping up to a table full of women, I told them my own story and saw their eyes widen with what I could only describe as hope.
“You were part of Hope Center?” one of the women asked me.
“Sure was. Arrived with a lot of attitude, too.”
“That she did,” Lilly verified, coming to stand beside me.
I smiled at my friend. “I remember the first day I was here, when Lilly told me she was going to be the best friend I ever had. At the time I wanted to laugh in her face, but you know what, she is.”
“Hate to tell you this, but I say that to all the women.”
I smiled because I knew that was probably true.
Lilly placed her arm on my shoulder. “Shay didn’t have an easy time of it at Hope Center, but she stuck with it. She’s proven that taking a negative and making it a positive is possible.”
The women gathered around the table nodded.
“You’ll be seeing more of Shay,” Lilly continued. “Starting in June, she’ll be working as a bookkeeper at Hope Center.”
“As soon as I finish my accounting classes, which Lilly suggested I take. When I first came to Hope Center, I was afraid to dream of anything good happening in my life. Lilly asked me to come up with a dream and I told her I’d only be setting myself up for failure. Do you remember what you told me?” I asked her.
“Sure do. The same thing I’ve told these women. Any dream will do. Allow yourself to dream.”
I felt someone come up behind me and discovered it was Linda. “The van is loaded. It’s time for us to leave.”
After hugging Lilly goodbye, I headed out with Linda and the other two.
I sat in the front seat with Linda. Stephanie and Kelly were in the back, chatting away.
“I didn’t mean to rush you,” Linda murmured.
“You didn’t.” I noticed that her hands were holding on to the steering wheel in a death grip. She’d seemed to be in a rush ever since she’d taken that phone call. I’d noticed that she’d grown quiet and intense afterward.
Not sure if I should say anything about the call or not, I watched her out of the corner of my eye and then decided I had to say something to break the tension. “Linda, I don’t mean to pry, but did something happen earlier?”
“What do you mean?” she asked defensively.
“I saw you on the phone,” I said. “I noticed since then that you’ve become quiet and tense.”
“Sorry, it’s just that…”
“Just that?” I prompted when she didn’t finish.
“Lloyd called. I put a load of wash in before I left this afternoon. Our washer is in the basement, and it seems that a pipe burst. The basement is flooded.”
“Oh no. How bad is it?”
“I don’t know. Lloyd is trying to deal with it, but it’s too much for him to handle alone.”
We arrived at the church and I realized that after working all afternoon getting the meal ready to deliver to Hope Center, Linda was headed home to clean up a huge mess in her basement.
“Let me help,” I said.
“Help?” she asked, as if she didn’t know what I was talking about.
“With your flooded basement.”
She paused, as if she didn’t hear me correctly. “It’s late. You were up early this morning and—”
“You have given yourself to the church, to others, to Drew and to his children. I think it’s time someone stepped in and gave you a hand.”
Linda continued to stare at me as if she didn’t know what to say. “I can’t let you do that.”
“You can and you will. Now let’s head to your house and tackle this mess. I’m young and I don’t need a lot of sleep. If I were you I wouldn’t hesitate to take advantage of my generous offer.”
She cracked a smile. “I probably should take you up on it.”
“Yes, you should. As for me being up early, I think you were probably up at around the same time. Let me do this for you to show my appreciation for all you’ve done for everyone else.”
To my utter surprise, Linda tossed her arms around me and hugged me. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“Let’s get to it,” I said.
The van had been unloaded and I followed Linda to where she’d parked her car and we drove to the house. Going down to the basement, we found Linda’s husband wading around in water, looking exhausted and unsure what more he could do on his own. He had a push broom in his hand and was sweeping the water toward a drain.
“The cavalry has arrived, and looks like we got here in the nick of time,” I told him.
Lloyd blinked. “I hardly know where to start.”
Stacks of magazines were soaked through, as well as boxes that had been on the floor. To put it mildly, the basement was a mess.
We worked together for an hour until it was clear that Lloyd was too tired to continue. Linda sent her husband upstairs to brew coffee. Fifteen minutes later he carried down a cup for each of us, apologized, and then left.
Linda and I worked companionably, sorting through the boxes, taking out what could be salvaged.
“I heard Lilly mention that you’re going to be working as the bookkeeper for the center.”
“Yes, I’m excited to get back into the kind of work I enjoy. This is an opportunity I never expected to have.”
She didn’t say anything for several minutes. “Lloyd counts the money from the collection every Sunday after church, which is one of the reasons we’re often the last people to leave.”
I knew the Kincaids donated a great deal of their time to the smooth operation of the church.
“He’s going in for surgery next Wednesday and will be out of commission for a couple weeks. He asked me if I’d take over the task for him. I was wondering if you’d be willing to step in for me.”
The suggestion was much more than counting out the offering. Linda was saying I had her trust, that she believed I was capable and honest. “I’d be honored.”
“Good. That’s one less thing on my plate,” she said a bit gruffly.
Not letting her see my smile, I continued working. I’d met women like Linda before. They liked to be in control, and giving up even one small piece of their control was difficult.
“I’ll let Drew know that you’ll be putting together the church deposit,” she said.
I realized this was her way of letting Drew know that she accepted me as worthy of his love.
And to think, all it took was three hours spent in a flooded basement.
My sermon series inspired by popular movies had gained a lot of local attention. The religion editor for The Seattle Times had heard about it, and unbeknownst to me visited the church one Sunday. The next week he wrote his column about the topic of my message. Since then, every pew in
the church had been filled for the last two weeks.
Again, I had Shay to thank for the idea, which had inspired other similar ideas. I’d decided my next sermon series would be on ten of the most popular downloaded songs from iTunes. I’d been listening carefully to the lyrics. I believed songwriters were the sages of their generation and said a lot about the society in which we live. I’d done a bit of research on the artists’ backgrounds along with their lyrics. My goal was how best to relate the words of the music to Scripture and then apply it to life.
I stood in the lobby as the choir sang the final hymn, preparing to greet my church family as they exited the building. My heart was full. For the first time in a long while I felt effective as a pastor. My sermons were being well received and I seemed like I was reaping the rewards of the years I had invested in the ministry.
As I was getting ready to head over to the house for dinner, Alex Turnbull sought me out. His look was dark and serious. For just a few minutes I was tempted to turn away. Alex had been a thorn in my side even before the incident involving Shay and her brother. He’d made his opinion of Shay clear. He wanted her gone, and if not her, then me.
To be fair, I had to admit that he’d accepted the defeat of his vote of confidence with good grace. I appreciated that he didn’t hold any resentment. He’d accepted the support of the other elders and had gone out of his way to show his support since that time.
“Do you have a few minutes, Pastor?” he asked.
Making a show of checking my watch, I let him know my family was waiting for me to join them for our noonday meal. I’d already left them waiting longer than I planned.
“It won’t take more than a couple minutes,” he insisted.
“Sure.” It was probably best to discuss this now rather than later, I reasoned.
He hesitated, which was odd, seeing that he seemed eager to chat. “This is a delicate matter. Perhaps it would be best if we talked about this in your office.”
Apparently this was more serious than I realized. “Sure.”
Alex followed me to my office and entered after me, closing the door. I leaned against the edge of my desk.
Any Dream Will Do Page 23
