by Kiki Howell
When only a couple of bites remained, he got up. “Do you want more? There’s plenty if you are still hungry.” He offered.
I shook my head as I popped one of the last bites into my mouth.
“Have you healed?” He dropped nonchalantly into the quiet.
I choked a bit at the question. Obviously he knew I had been injured by the state he found me in, but to what degree, or extent, I did not know. “I believe so. Or, enough anyway.” I offered.
The meager meal consumed, I was fresh out of diversions. “Okay, Nat. Lay it on me. Tell me the great truths you believe will sway me to consider staying.” I said as I tried to find a comfortable way to sit.
He held up a finger. “Absolutely. But, I have two questions for you first.”
“No, no, no” I interjected. “I’m not playing quid pro quo with anyone ever again. Answer my questions now or I’m gone.” I replied irritatedly.
He chuckled. “I had no intention of playing quid pro quo, or anything else. I only was going to ask if you wanted to put on clean clothes and dry socks so that yours could be washed, and your shoes could be dried before we began. That’s all. I was not going to do that for you, or assume that would be what you wanted, so I was going to ask. That was the two questions.”
I felt a bit like an ass. This male had been nothing but hospitable, and I had jumped to the wrong conclusion. Sure, there was a distinct possibility he could be a jerk, but he had not been one yet. “I apologize. Dry socks would be amazing. Everything else is dry and I’m warm, so for right now it’s fine.”
“Okay then.” He said with a smile. “Give me just a moment to get you dry socks and we will begin.”
I couldn’t bring myself to look at him as I slipped off my shoes and scooted them nearer to the fire to dry. My feet were a wrinkled mess when I pulled off the still wet socks. To his credit, he didn’t comment, nor suggest I put them near the fire to warm them before putting the dry ones on. Instead, he tried, unsuccessfully, to subtly warm the fresh socks as he offered them to me. It was a kind gesture.
Also to his credit, he began while I was distracted with dressing my feet. “As I said, my name is Ciannait. Everyone who knows me, calls me Nat. You too may call me Nat. I will gladly answer any questions that you have, but I will not assume the order of what you wish to know. So, what would you like first?”
“Is this a good news or bad news deal?” I asked, before asking what I really wanted to find out.
He chuckled. Shaking his head, he ran a large palm across the back of his neck, stretching it the opposite direction. “No. I’m not sure that any of the information is good news or bad news. I would guess the distinction depends on your perspective, which I won’t claim to know. So, what would you like to hear first?”
“You know my name. You said you know who I am, and what I am. How?” I tossed casually.
“I do know your name. I’ve known your name since the day you were born. I know who you are, because I was there. That, and there is no way possible for me to mistake who you are. As for how I know what you are, that would be because we are the same.”
I held up my hands for him to pause. “You were there when I was born? Then who are my parents?”
“Your mother was Astrid. You look just like her. Except your eyes are a different gray. Hers were bluer, but most dragon’s eyes are. Your father is Tonnemar. Your eyes are like his.”
My mind was racing. I wanted to double back to his first comments, but something he had just said was screaming in my thoughts. “Is? My father IS Tonnemar? Don’t you mean was?”
His face betrayed his confusion as he shook his head. “No. I mean is. Do you believe he’s dead?” He queried as his head tipped to the side.
“I was told my parents were dead, killed by the assassins.”
“Ah. Yes, your mother was killed by the assassins. She was taken from your father, and held hostage. They wanted him to give in to their demands, and when he didn’t, they killed her.”
“He wouldn’t save her?” I cried in disbelief.
He was quiet for a moment, taking a deep breath and letting it out before responding. “Your father would have done nearly anything for her. It wasn’t a simple matter of saving her. The assassins had you both, or so we thought. Your mother was the first bargaining chip they tried to use. He demanded that both of you be returned before he gave in. They didn’t.”
“Wait... Wait... Wait. They had us both? That’s not what I’ve been told.”
“I can only tell you the side of the story, and the events, as I know them. As I said, I was there when you were born. I was there when your parents learned that you’d gone missing. I was there when your father found out they’d taken your mother too. He believed... We believed, your mother had gone and tried to get you back herself, and that’s how they got her. The whole thing was a mess. And, in the end, we only got her back. Or, I should say, her body was the only one that was returned. It nearly killed him.” He offered quietly.
I couldn’t believe it. My internal lie detector was silent though. Not that it was ever a surefire way to detect if someone was telling the truth or not, but when it came to the big stuff, it usually set off a burn at the base of my spine, letting me know to pay attention. I was getting none of that from Nat. I stared at him, waiting for him to say something more. He didn’t. He watched me in return, but it wasn’t a hard stare, more an open curiosity, waiting for me to ask my next question. I had no idea what the next question was.
A small eternity later, my earlier question popped back to mind. “You said we are the same. How do I know that? Can you show me? How can you prove it?”
His eyes were wide for a moment before they returned to normal. Whatever that meant was lost on me. If it was a trait or tell of a dragon, I couldn’t say. “That is more difficult.” He began. “I am, as you are, a dragon. Can I show you? No, not at this time. Perhaps one day, but that day has not arrived yet. Potentially, I can take you to your father, and he can show you, and perhaps even vouch for me, but I cannot reveal to you, not yet.”
Cryptic much? “You’ll have to explain that, because if there was a more vague answer out there, I’m not sure you could have given it. Wait, you can take me to my father?” I asked trying not to sound hopeful.
“Yes. I can take you to your father. In fact, I’m sure he would love nothing more. As to the rest, a dragon’s other form, a true dragon’s other form anyway, cannot manifest until they are mated. I am not, or have not, so I cannot call my other self forward to show you that I am as you are.” He answered in explanation.
I suppose it made sense, but then why couldn’t I reveal? I had mated, more than once as a matter of fact, but I was no closer to being able to become my dragon form than I had been...ever. “But, I can’t do it either.” I offered, hoping that it would make sense.
His laughter was pleasant and soothing. It was not a mocking sound, but one of understanding. Thankfully so, I would not have responded well to being mocked.
“Asa, I’m afraid there is no delicate way to put this, but unless you have mated with not only a true dragon, but your destined true dragon mate, you will never be able to do it. It’s how the line is preserved.” He answered softly the question I hadn’t quite been able to put into words.
There it was. Somewhere out there, was not only a true dragon, but my true dragon, and until I found them, and we were together as intended, I would always be exactly as I am. How convenient no one had ever bothered to mention that part. “Is that well-known?” I asked before I realized I had spoken aloud.
“By the dragons it is.”
“I see.” I said as I considered the information. “What is it exactly that they wanted from my father? What did they kill my mother for? How soon can I see him?”
Nat’s smile bloomed from a slim smirk to a wide grin. “You really don’t know do you?” He asked casually. “Asa, your father, Tonnemar, is King of the Dragons. They wanted his throne, his power, his gold, his everything
.” He listed off carefully. My mouth dropped open a bit farther with each new item.
“He would have given them all of it too, but only for the safe return of you and your mother. How soon can you see him?” He shrugged. “I suppose that depends on you. Are your feet dry yet?”
Tonnemar
EVERY OTHER QUESTION I had fell away. Or, I should say, they became background noise as we traveled. I knew I had more questions, and part of me even knew what they were, but in comparison to meeting my father, the King, they could not get purchase to come forward. I was excited, and nervous, and even a bit queasy, though Nat said there was no need to worry.
Hours later, we had taken multiple modes of transportation, but still had not arrived. “Just how far we going?” I asked anxiously.
“The lingering tensions between the factions, in and around the Hebrides, forced us to leave the area long ago. We thought we were safe being so far removed from the center of the fracas. Once you went missing, then your mother was taken and subsequently killed, we knew we were wrong, but by then we were established and not in any hurry to relocate again. It was easier to stay away then too.”
“So that means... What? Hours, days? How long are we talking about to get there?” I asked, shifting again in my seat.
Nat laughed and shook his head. “If your father had any idea that I’ve found you, I’m sure he would have gladly met us halfway. It is safer for him to stay put, so we will go the whole way to where he is. Which means, more than hours, but not days.”
I was wound so tight I was thrumming. I needed to be distracted. I wanted to ask more about dragons, but decided to wait for now. At least, I intended to wait. My mouth took over though and we were off talking again. “So, you said you’ve been looking for me for a long time. You didn’t believe I was dead?”
We were on a train, and Nat didn’t flinch from his gaze out the window, which was odd, but then again, I didn’t really know him that well to know what was, or wasn’t, odd. At least not for him. His response bounced back softly from the glass. “No. I didn’t believe you were dead. In fact, I was pretty damn certain that you weren’t. Finding you was a different matter altogether though. We had no idea when you had gone missing, who had taken you, where they had disappeared to, or how they had managed to get you away from any number of attendants to accomplish it. Everyone was suspicious of everyone else. It was an ugly time.”
I debated if I should say anything or not. I had sincere doubts about everything, and meeting my father was just another something I didn’t have enough information to put faith in. “Should I tell you that I know who took me? Or, that I know who takes credit for having taken me?”
He whipped around from the window then. “How?” He challenged.
“Because they told me they did. Though if that’s the truth, I don’t know.”
“Do you want to tell me who took you, or who claims to have taken you?” he asked cautiously.
“I don’t know. I can’t decide.” I answered honestly. “The last few years have been a mad jumble of information. I don’t know who to believe, who to trust, or when to hope. Even now, going to see my father, or who you say is my father, is an exercise in the suppression of hope. So many things are not what I believed them to be that I don’t know what to believe anymore.” I admitted on a whisper.
His face was sad. “Asa, if nothing else ever, I want to restore that hope, that faith, that belief in someone, or something. I am taking you to your father. Perhaps he can help put the pieces back together. I already know that seeing you will do that for him.”
He turned back to the window then. I wanted to erase the sorrow from his expression. I didn’t know how. “Nat?”
“Hmmmm?”
“I don’t mean to pry, and you can tell me it’s none of my business, but you said you can’t access, uhmmm, your other self, until, you know...” I hedged, “Do you know if that will happen? I mean, do you know who it is, or is it just something that happens someday? I mean, I’m not really asking about you, I’m just kind of trying to understand how it works...”
His exhale was soft. His shoulders slumped slightly and his head dropped, but I noticed a grin from the side before he spoke. “Yes. I know who it is. No, that doesn’t mean it will happen, but I hope so. A dragon’s true mate is revealed and known long before the communion between them ever occurs. So, to answer your question, at least the question I think you’re asking, yes, you also have a destined true mate. And, I’m sure that they are just as curious about you, as you are about them. Does that mean it will happen? That will be between you and them when the time comes. Is that what you want to know?” he enquired as he looked at me from the corner of his eye.
I slumped in my seat. “I guess so. I mean, I don’t know who they are, so it’s a little bit weird that they might know who I am. If things had been different, maybe I would know. I mean, I would think that if everybody’s supposed to know, and then maybe someday it happens, then everybody knows and nobody’s really surprised, right? But, since things happened, and I wasn’t there, and so I don’t know who it is, it might be kinda...weird, going there and having them know when I don’t know, and... You know?”
I knew I was rambling, but I was trying to wrap my head around this idea...that I was potentially walking back into my father’s house, or castle, or whatever, and somewhere along the way, I was going to encounter somebody who was supposed to be mine. I realized absently that Nat was trying not to laugh, but only having moderate success as his shoulders bounced.
“What? Step into my shoes for a minute. If you were me, going back to a world that you didn’t know, and somewhere in that world, there was potentially somebody who was supposed to be your destined mate, and they knew it but you didn’t, how would you feel? What if you didn’t like them? What if they were somehow unappealing to you? What if... I don’t know. It’s a lot to take in.” I grumbled out.
“I’m sorry Asa.” He responded, looking, and sounding, truly reticent. “I shouldn’t have laughed. To me it is so normal. I did not stop to consider how it would be for you. Yes, I can completely understand how uncomfortable it could be. The best comfort I can offer, is that once we arrive to see your father, you will not be paraded past groups of people to be ogled, or gawked at, or for anyone to openly make you uncomfortable about who or what may come, or if you are theirs.”
“Promise?” I asked sounding more and more like a petulant child.
“I promise. And, I’ll promise you something else. I promise that I will not tell anyone, not even your father, about the rambling questions that you have. You can deal with each of them, as you see fit, once you feel better capable to do so.”
“Thank you Nat.” I offered genuinely. “Now, are we there yet?”
“For the eleventy-billionth time Asa, no.”
“Fine.” I grumbled. “Then tell me what he’s like.”
“Your father?”
“Yes my father.” I paused, amending my comments when I realized that Nat might know, “Unless you know who my destined true mate is, then tell me about him.”
“How about I do you one better?”
“How’s that?”
“If you wish, and are comfortable enough to relax and take a nap, I will give you a memory of your father, and your mother. It will be a dream, but at the same time, it will be yours then, not just a story.”
“You can to that?!” I stammered excitedly.
“Yes, I can do that.”
Family
HE WAS RIGHT. From behind closed eyes, somewhere between waking, dreaming, and sleeping, I saw my parents for the first time. There was no doubt as I watched, that the woman I was seeing was my mother. It was like looking into a mirror, except the eyes. As he’d said, hers were bluer than mine.
I had to assume the perspective was Nat’s. As such, I estimated that my father was an equally large male, as they stood, speaking words I could not hear, nearly eye to eye. My father’s expression was kind and cordial. He evid
ently knew Nat well. My mother too, looked at him affectionately. I hoped, when I was alert again, that I would remember to ask the new question that popped up; was I somehow related to Nat? He had never identified so one way or the other. But, if he was present when I was born, was he family?
Before I was ready to let go, Nat was nudging me gently. “Asa. Asa, it’s time to wake up. We need to go.”
I opened my eyes, just as Nat produced a thick, heavy coat and offered it to me. “Where are we?” I asked as I yawned.
“We’re there. We just need to take a short ride now. But, it’s extremely frigid out. Put this on.” He answered as he held the coat open for me to slip into.
It wasn’t quite the answer I thought he would give. I tried for humor. “So what? The North Pole?”
The wide, brilliant smile of his, split his face abruptly. “No, not quite. But, close enough. We are along the north west edges of the Siberian forest.”
“Siberia?!” I said a bit loudly.
The rest of the train car was empty before my outburst. I was grateful as I realized the shrill, overly dramatic, tone my question had come on probably would have turned more than a few heads. His responding laughter was welcome, even as I was still grappling with the news. “Yes. Siberia. I told you we had moved away. What would be the point of moving away, if you could walk from here to there?” He asked, sounding amused.
He was right again. As we emerged from the car, I shrunk down into the coat as best I could manage. The wind whipped around and we were surrounded by a vortex of snow flurries. I had seen them before, but seldom ventured out into them. The tiny flakes were more sharp shards than soft, and stung where they hit the exposed skin of my cheeks. Even through the heavy coat, I could not mistake the permeating warmth of his body as he banded an arm around me and led me to a waiting car.
I’m not sure what I expected. I had wondered what my father’s home would be; house? castle? another mountain? Nothing I imagined could have prepared me for the iron fortress we entered when we arrived. From the ground, it reached to the sky and beyond. Even what I was sure would be formidable turrets, were obscured by the heavy winter clouds. I suddenly felt very small.
